My mom passed away on 18th June after that my father and me both are in great depression. My dad is restricted to his bedroom and started consuming lot of alcohol. And about me I am unable to cry. I am feeling my mom with me. I am Afraid to go to anywhere even in toilet. I use to see some shadow images. I was with my mom for last two years for her care. When I close my eyes I use to see her indulging in day today activities. I always see her very young. Please Help.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist46yrs exp

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You both are dangerously withdrawing into yourselves. You both need help and a counselor is absolutely necessary under these circumstances. If you do not deal with your loss and do some grief work, you are likely to waste away your lives. I am sure your mom will not like to see these developments. So meet someone and talk to that person about your feelings. This is what is called an 'episodal depression' where due to a very heart-rending event that you feel you cannot handle you tend to collapse into a depression. You must go and meet with a counselor immediately and if that person advises that you meet with a doctor you must do so and cooperate to your utmost. Please visit these professionals along with your father. In the meantime please do the following sincerely because you could resolve the problem better with good cooperation: Have a good night?s sleep, have a good breakfast of more proteins, meditate often, remain free of stress, eat a lot of fiber, nuts, avocado, exercise regularly, eat dark chocolate, do Yoga meditation exercises, etc. I suggest you do the opposite of what this depression makes you feel like doing (actually, not doing): you will need to fight this condition. You must become active; stay upright during the daylight time; meet people; never sleep during the day, wake up by 6 am every day, play some active games, especially contact games, do physical exercises, talk to people and join some social clubs, attend Yoga classes etc. Watch sitcoms on TV or comedies and cheer yourself up. Go for excursions in groups, for outings, camps, conferences, and religious conventions. Get a pet dog and spend time training it, exercising it and relating to it. Expose yourself to some sunlight every day, at least, 30 minutes but not in the scorching heat. Whatever happens, please incorporate these three important adaptations in your life: always be responsible, be respectful, and be functional. If you did these three, lots of things will go well in life. Please pray and have faith in God to alleviate your sufferings. Don?t wait for others to help. Use your own motivation, which might be at its lowest, but persevere and win this battle. Above all to be really happy, you need to live in love and for love. Learn all about emotions and how to handle them and that will get you out of the depression rather easily and quickly. A counselor is there only to facilitate you, all the hard word must come from you, and your cooperation with that person is very critical for your success. Be positive every day and learn to be contented with what you have. Do some left brain exercises: it is the happy brain. Here are a few suggestions: shut your left nostril and breathe, move your eyes from right to left and vice versa for at least half a minute at a time, and do callisthenic exercises with some form of counting, regularly. Whatever happens please cooperate with the therapy and do not discontinue until the condition is completely resolved. Your mom will not come back and it is now the focus of the living that is very important. Let mom be proud of you wherever she is. 

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