My brother is 36. He is depressed since childhood as our father is an alcoholic. He is not willing to see any doctor or psychologist for the unhappiness and anger that he carries. Is there a way that I can help him without his knowing of it.
Highly impossible. Depression is a pathological condition and can be treated only with the full knowledge of the patient. The only way you can help is to be supportive to his recovery. You can take him out fro walks, movies, conferences, games, sports events etc. to get him out of his internal occupations. If you can get him to participate in any of these events, you would have achieved a lot. What you could do is to invite a counselor and see how that goes. If he is that stubborn, then admit him into a residential program for his rehabilitation, even if you have to use force.
Speak to him about your father, raise the topic so that he starts talking about it. This will facilitate ventilation of suppressed anger and improve his condition. But you must not raise the topic, talk for couple of minutes and leave. That will leave him angry and irritable without beneficial effects. You need to carry the discussion for 30-40 minutes on each instance. Many such instances may be needed. The end of a typical session is signalled when the intensity of his outburst has significantly reduced. Initially he may be resistant, but gradually he will improve. Take care!
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