Why I am so coward, I get scared easily, I i get fear easily, I avoid confrontation, in school days people used to beat me and I used to say nothing to them ,why I do not have confidence to beat them, is this due to poor self esteem or lack of confidence I have a squint in my eyes and even if a small child tease me or say something me I get hurt easily, why I am so morally weak, why I am born such morally weak.Please tell.

Ms. Hemal Sanjay KuntePsychologist5yrs exp

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Dear lybrate user, I think it must have been very difficult for you to take insults in the form of teasing. Beating etc since childhood. I sense that these insults have impacted you a lot. Probably no one appreciated you till now. As a result you have low self esteem and low confidence. It appears to me that you believe in what people say about you, hence you think that you are weak and coward. According to me, the reason why you do not retaliate is, that is what your parents/teachers or other elders at home told you to do. Probably, because of your low self esteem, you also thought that you'deserve' this kind of treatment. Though you were angry, you did not fight back, because you thought you were physically weak as well. Emotional abuse is more hurtful than physical abuse. Even if people are making fun of your squint, please accept it as your reality. And look at yourself as a" whole" person and you will realise that you are lucky to have a healthy, normal body. Now please understand that, you are 22 and an adult and not small/weak anymore. Try to get enough physical strength with the help of good nutrition and exercise. Then you will not feel weak, physically. Then make a list of your strengths, that you think you have, read it everyday. Do not take negativity from anyone. Believe in yourself. No one is" born" weak emotionally/morally. The life experiences cause this weakness. Now you need to take charge of your life. Tell yourself that you are valuable. You have many skills/strengths. Keep yourself away from people who try to pull you down. Be with the people who have positive attitude towards life. Only you can help yourself - try to gain more physical and emotional strength. All the best. 

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