I am 21 years, a student and have suffered depression in my college life due to my dad's abusive and agressive behaviour. I know he loves me but that is the way he is. Now, I dont live with him but still I get low and feel lonely sometimes. I dont know know what's the reason for my this feeling but I now I am not able to laugh, even cry like I earlier used to. During my college life, the thought of suicide also crossed my mind but I got over it with the hope that one day i'll have a successful carrer and i'll not have to suffer from all of this but with this lowlessnes and emptiness, it rather seems difficult. Also, this low and depressed feeling comes at any time and other times, it appears that everything is fine. Seriously, please I need your suggestion on what to do?

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist48yrs exp

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You are into an anger related depression and must work with a therapist to express this feeling to come out of the depression. Your anger may be directed at your father, and if your mother was passive during these abuses, you may be angry with her too. Even if you do not live with your father, he lives very much in your head, still abusing you with those memories you have of him. This will continue to torment you wherever you go and therefore it is imperative for you to sort out this mess in your head. You are losing affect in the bargain as a measure to deny the feeling so that you don? t have to deal with it. But that is exactly the set up for further depression. Your emotions are very important to you, and give you identity. By denying them you are not acknowledging yourself. We are all emotional beings and as such are able to be humane because of our feelings. This could get you into serious trouble later when this thing may become too entrenched to deal with easily. If it ever becomes unbearable, then do meet with a psychiatrist too. 

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