I'm an18 years old girl (will turn 19 this june). I'm a medical student in china currently in my first year. I came back to india during my vacation in january. I don't know everything was going well. But since mid february I am feeling very low. I don't know how to explain myself. I don't feel like doing anything. Even if I try to develop interest the next moment i'm back to the same place and suddenly everything just goes back to normal. I don't feel confident enough. Since mid march I noticed that even while doing normal activities i'm normal but suddenly something comes hits me I remember some bad old days even if I don't want to and start crying. Then after 5 -10 min i'm again back to normal. This one time I remember I just woke up suddenly with a jerk in the morning and felt like I don't know the reason why i'm up. Whats the purpose of me getting up. What should I do. And I got so scared I started crying and after a few min I was okay and went back to sleep. It never happened to me after that. It just feels like now days i'm pretending to be happy and I don't know the reason. I don't know if it's just a normal thing with a teenager or something is actually wrong. Im very scared and it's frustrating. Now what I have noticed from the past few days that maybe I just keep forgetting things while i'm talking. I was talking to my friend and I wanted to say "you don't need a reason" but that "reason" word I just forgot. I have a habit of talking to myself. nowadays even if i'm talking to myself it just feels like I don't have words to explain. I just forget. Its very scary and because of all these things i'm scared even to open my book because I won't be able to bear the fact that I won't be able to study because of this. Please help. I have got my medical college after a lot of difficulties. I don't know what's happening to me. I hope i'm normal.