Your mood swings are definitely of concern
and that must be investigated. It may be caused by a serious developmental issue called Rejection. You seem to suffer from rejection from all and sundry to find it difficult to feel one with people. The solution to this is a matter of genuine self-acceptance or self-love. I am not talking about narcissism: this is a genuine love of yourself. It is not based on your appearance alone. You must work on developing yourself in five areas: the physical fitness, emotional fitness, intellectual fitness, social fitness and spiritual fitness. I would also suggest you attend a good personality development program, a speech training course (I suggest the Toastmasters Club), a conversation and elocution course, and to do a personal grooming course too. Education is very good to boost self-confidence, and together with that if you develop socialization skills, you will make it big. Meet with a counselor and ask to be trained in handling emotions, and that will just take you places. Read a lot and meet lots of people, even if you feel too conscious: in time you will get out of this backwardness very well. Do physical fitness exercises regularly. Ultimately, if you believe in God, you will know that you are so precious to Him that no one else’s opinion or acceptance is as important as His. Your life will change phenomenally! If the mood disorder
is serious you can meet a doctor and determine the course of action, medically and therapeutically.