Ivy Clinic

When you spend so much time with someone you are bound to have at least an occasional difference of opinion, to say the least, and it’s not always easy to keep objective and levelheaded when you enter into a disagreement with your partner. When this happens, remember to use these effective communication skills with your partner to improve the odds of reaching a solution that is in the relationship’s best interest.

This is because no matter how much you love and respect each other, it might not be possible to always keep cool and be levelheaded while entering into a disagreement with your significant other.

Here are a few effective communication skills that can improve the odds of reaching an amicable solution:

1. Use ‘I’ in the statement: Never blame your partner. This can make your partner feel that you are trying to attack your partner’s feelings, which often takes a negative turn. For example, if your partner is late, you can say “I would have appreciated if you had called me”. In this case, it’s all about how you feel and so it’s now up to the partner to appreciate, understand and consider your situation.

2. Don’t interrupt; listen first: Generally, in an argument, both the partners usually wait for their turn to talk and spurt out their anger and resentment. But this often makes things get worse. Most of the time, disagreements and petty discords, often, get resolved more easily, when someone pays more attention to the cause that might be making the other person upset. Also, watch out for the other person’s body language for getting a grip of his/her feelings. Try and pay undivided attention to what your partner has to say. Only when you have understood what might be the reason for all the hullaballoo, should you start explaining.

3. Don’t dig up the Past: Always stick to the discussion and the controversy at hand. Never dig up old corpses. Digging up past hatchet will only churn out further heated arguments, things you surely would want to avoid. Remember, resolving multiple conflicts could only get nastier and even more difficult.

4. Explain later, Acknowledge first: The most effective way of avoiding sudden escalation of disagreements is to first listen and acknowledge your partner’s feelings. Do it even if you think that the other person’s argument lacks reason. Take your time to hear out the other person.

5. Maintain a Positive and a Respectful Tone: Lastly, maintain a positive and a respectful tone. And never abuse. Abusing is derogatory and can invite further malice that will only keep on spiraling north. There never was and will never be any alternative to maintaining dignity and holding your ground no matter how much the malice is.

Marriages in our country usually last a lifetime and require effort from both parties involved to make them work. Often, marriages end because of boredom, as the partners begin to believe that the spark is gone. But there are many ways couples can perk up their marriage. 

While it is true that many people are short on precious time in today’s day and age, what is also true is that a marriage is well worth some prioritisation. 

Leaving dirty dishes in the sink for a little while longer does make good sense, if it means that the time is well-used to bond with one’s significant other. Leisure time spent between couples is crucial for the success of a marriage. Many couples do not make it a habit of listening to each other and this really does work to their detriment. Paying close attention to what the other one says and providing a response may not need a lot of effort but the dividends are rich in the form of the partner feeling good. 

Intimacy is a valued feeling of being wanted and it has a big part to play in the success of a marriage. Over the long term, many couples do not make the required effort and the overall quality of their bond is reduced, as a result. While reinitiating contact may be as simple as holding the other’s hand, many people do not do this as they feel their partner should be the one to do so. Intimacy does not only equate to sexual intimacy, but can even simply be looking into one’s partners eyes with love. 

Laughter is said to be the best medicine, and this happens to be true in the case of a marriage, as well. It has been found that couples who laugh about their past experiences are happier and get along a lot more amicably than those who do not. Recalling together where the couple first met and started seeing each other also has a positive impact as it makes both partners feel valued and thankful about what they have. 

Below, are tips that don’t require much—if any—money, time or even hard work! 

1. Engage in a new activity with your partner. Doing novel activities with your partner enables you to re-experience the original emotional state at the beginning of your marriage. In other words, trying something new sparks excitement, producing passion. You can do anything from deep-sea fishing to salsa dancing to hiking a mountain to eating at a different restaurant. 
2. Add the element of mystery or surprise. Both mystery and surprise also mimic the emotional state of a new romance. But it doesn’t mean whisking your wife away to the Mediterranean or surprising your husband with expensive dinners. Here, little gestures also go a long way. Examples include, surprising your wife at work and whisking her away for lunch, or sending a greeting card in the mail. 
3. Do something that kicks up your adrenaline and arousal. Young marriages start out with an adrenaline rush. Your heart races, you get giddy, you’re alert, awake and excited. Arousal-generating activities can include exercising, going on a vigorous hike, and even watching a scary movie. So it’s almost like fooling your brain that the arousal produced to this scary movie (or any other arousing activity) is really due to your marriage, and this helps to perk up the passion. 
4. Take a mini-vacation — just the two of you. Get out of the house for at least one night and two days, somewhere that interests both of you and creates new memories together. You don’t have to go far from home or spend a lot of money. The key is to spend quality time together away from home. Studies show that for women, in particular, getting away is important. They feel more passionate when they’re away from the pressures of their lives. At home, women have a tough time compartmentalizing things. They’re thinking about the laundry, lunch, paying the bills, cleaning the house, and checking things off their mental to-do list. 
5. Touch more often. Touch produces arousal, comfort and support both physiologically and psychologically, and it doesn’t have to be much of a touch. Holding hands on a walk, making sure you give a hug or kiss or embrace daily reminds you that you’re physiologically bonded. When reigniting your relationship, the key is to shake things up consistently. Good luck!

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. A person’s mood and emotions can be altered drastically due to bipolar disorder, but they do not have more than one personality. Split personalities problem is more commonly seen in those with personality/dissociative disorders. 

There are four basic types of bipolar disorder; all of them involve clear changes in mood, energy, and activity levels. These moods range from periods of extremely “up,” elated, and energized behavior (known as manic episodes) to very sad, “down,” or hopeless periods (known as depressive episodes). Less severe manic periods are known as hypomanic episodes.

1. Bipolar I Disorder— defined by manic episodes that last at least 7 days, or by manic symptoms that are so severe that the person needs immediate hospital care. Usually, depressive episodes occur as well, typically lasting at least 2 weeks. Episodes of depression with mixed features (having depression and manic symptoms at the same time) are also possible.
2. Bipolar II Disorder— defined by a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes, but not the full-blown manic episodes described above.
3. Cyclothymic Disorder (also called cyclothymia)— defined by numerous periods of hypomanic symptoms as well numerous periods of depressive symptoms lasting for at least 2 years (1 year in children and adolescents). However, the symptoms do not meet the diagnostic requirements for a hypomanic episode and a depressive episode.
4. Other Specified and Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorders— defined by bipolar disorder symptoms that do not match the three categories listed above.

The disorder has two strong phases: 1) Bipolar Mania and 2) Depression.

Mania-

Mania is a state of heightened energy and euphoria - an elevation of mood. It is in direct contrast to depression. Mania can vary in severity from hypomania, where, in addition to mood and energy elevation, the person shows mild impairment of judgement and insight, to severe mania with delusions and a level of manic excitement that can be so exhausting that hospitalisation is required to control the episode.

The mood, energy and other related symptoms define both mania and hypomania, with psychotic features being an 'add on' component experienced by a sub-set of individuals. 

You have an intense sense of well-being, energy and optimism. It can be so strong that it affects your thinking and judgement. You may believe strange things about yourself, make bad decisions, and behave in embarrassing, harmful and - occasionally - dangerous ways.
 
Like depression, it can make it difficult or impossible to deal with day-to-day life. Mania can badly affect both your relationships and your work. When it isn't so extreme, it is called 'hypomania'.
 
If you become manic, you may notice that you are:

Emotional:

• very happy and excited
• irritated with other people who don't share your optimistic outlook
• feeling more important than usual. 

Thinking:

• full of new and exciting ideas
• moving quickly from one idea to another
• hearing voices that other people can't hear.

Physical:

• full of energy
• unable or unwilling to sleep
• more interested in sex.  

Behaviour:

• making plans that are grandiose and unrealistic
• very active, moving around very quickly
• behaving unusually
• talking very quickly - other people may find it hard to understand what you are talking about
• making odd decisions on the spur of the moment, sometimes with disastrous consequences
• recklessly spending your money
• over-familiar or recklessly critical with other people
• less inhibited in general.

If you are in the middle of a manic episode for the first time, you may not realise that there is anything wrong – although your friends, family or colleagues will. You may even feel annoyed if someone tries to point this out to you. You increasingly lose touch with day-to-day issues – and with other people's feelings. 

Depression- 

The feeling of depression is something we all experience from time to time. It can even help us to recognise and deal with problems in our lives. In clinical depression or bipolar disorder, the feeling of depression is much worse. It goes on for longer and makes it difficult or impossible to deal with the normal things of life. If you become depressed, you will notice some of these changes:

Emotional:

• feelings of unhappiness that don't go away
• feeling that you want to burst into tears for no reason
• losing interest in things
• being unable to enjoy things
• feeling restless and agitated
• losing self-confidence
• feeling useless, inadequate and hopeless
• feeling more irritable than usual
• thinking of suicide.  

Thinking:

• can’t think positively or hopefully
• finding it hard to make even simple decisions
• difficulty in concentrating. 

Physical:

• losing appetite and weight
• difficulty in getting to sleep
• waking earlier than usual
• feeling utterly tired
• constipation
• going off sex. 

Behaviour:

• difficulty in starting or completing things – even everyday chores
• crying a lot – or feeling like you want to cry, but not being able to
• avoiding contact with other people.

Causes:

1. Biological Causes: Experts say that patients with bipolar disorder often show physical changes in their brains. Nobody is sure why the changes lead to the disorder.
2. Genetic Traits: Researchers are involved in finding out whether or not the causes of bipolar disorder arise out of genes and other hereditary factors. If you have a first-degree relative or a sibling who is/was affected by this condition, you would probably have it too.
3. Neurotransmitters: Mood swing disorder is caused by an imbalance in brain chemicals known as ‘neurotransmitters’.

Treatment Methods:

1. Initial Treatment: The initial treatment method is to take medications to balance and control the mood swings. After the symptoms are in control, one has to start working with his/her trusted doctor for chalking out an effective and practical long-term treatment procedure.

2. Recovery from substance abuse: Problems related to excessive alcohol and drug abuse are solved by this therapy. Failing this step, this disorder can be unmanageable.

3. Day care treatment: Day care treatment programs can be recommended by your doctor. This treatment method includes counseling and support which keep the bipolar traits under control.

4. Hospitalization: Hospitalization or immediate medical support is recommended in case of suicidal thoughts or when a person starts exhibiting erratic behavior (being psychotic).

5. Medications: Medications include the administration of antipsychotics (such as ziprasidone, olanzapine), antidepressants (usually in combination with a mood stabilizer or an anti-psychotic), mood stabilizers (such as valproic acid, lithium, divalproex sodium) and anti-anxiety medications.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!