1. Wash Your Hands Thoroughly - Before having sex, do remember to wash your hands. Maintaining such a basic sexual hygiene habit is important as you will be running your fingers over the tender parts of your partner. Since your hands would have come into contact with germs of all kinds, having sex with dirty hands can bring about infections of those parts. Just as you would wash your hands before having your food, don't skip this habit when it comes to having sex.
2. Communicate - Communication is vital for a healthy sex life, and you'll both feel extremely satisfied if you're on the same page. Whether you need to have conversations about STDs such as HIV, HPV or on different sexual positions and techniques, talking to one another can help you and your partner to understand each other better in between the sheets.
3. Reciprocate - Reciprocity can make or break your sex life. Sex can be satisfying only when you both you and your partner experience the same amount of pleasure. So if your partner focuses on your pleasure spots, make sure to return the favour by turning your attention to his/her erogenous zones.
4. Don't be Afraid to Ask - Good sex is also about letting your partner know what your desires are. By doing so, your partner would be able to respond better to what you want and you'll find your sex life improving for the better.
5. Don't Criticise - In case of any sexual issue that may arise between you and your partner, it's best to solve it together instead of blaming each other. Whatever suggestions you may have for each other, always put them forward in positive terms. Criticism may make your sex life bitter and can also adversely impact your relationship in the long run, so it's best to avoid it.
Related Tip: How to Eliminate STRESS From Your SEX Liferead more
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I was having very bad thoughts regarding my erectile dysfunction. The overall cleanliness in the Perfect Clinic was amazing. Never once that I felt that Dr Rajiv Arora is getting impatient, rather he has always responded to my each and every doubt with immense patience. In order to diagnose my problem completely he asked me a number of questions. I feel so great after the completion of treatment. He is really a kind and soft hearted perosn. Also he has a broad knowledge in Sexology.
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Many people suffer from a low libido problem. This can be a problem for their partners as well as for themselves. A low sex drive can also reduce one's self esteem and confidence. In severe cases it also leads to depression.
Factors which cause low sex drive:
- Sexual problems: Many sexual problems also lead to a low sex drive. An inability to experience orgasm even after a lot of attempts can make one indifferent to sex. Some people also experience pain because of a tight vagina. In such cases their desire to have sex reduces greatly.
- Medical diseases: Many medical conditions also affects your libido, such as cancer, arthritis, blood sugar (diabetes), artery diseases, high blood pressure and neurological diseases.
- Medications: Some people suffer from depression and anxiety disorders. To get over these disorders most doctors prescribe them antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills, these medications create a very low libido.
- Habits: Many lifestyle habits such as over-consumption of alcohol can make your sex drive reduce a lot. Smoking also decreases the blood flow in your body which may make your libido fall.
- Surgery: Reconstructive surgeries such as breast reconstruction surgery and genital tract surgery can also affect sexual desire and give your body signals to not engage in an intercourse.
- Fatigue: Tiredness because of physical activities or caring for your old parents or young children can also make you uninterested in sex. Your body and brain might not have the energy to engage in an intercourse due to fatigue.
- Menopause: The levels of estrogen reduce greatly during menopause. Low estrogen levels make your vagina dry hence sex can be uncomfortable and painful. Women also go through hormonal changes which make them suffer from a low libido.
- Pregnancy: After pregnancy, breastfeeding your baby becomes an everyday activity. This can reduce sexual desire because of the pressure of caring for a new born baby.
Regular exercising complemented with enough sleep is known to reduce stress thus giving you a high sex drive. Avoid consuming alcohol. Testosterone replacement therapy (a therapy used for treating erectile dysfunction) also treats low desire. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Sexologist.
Menopause automatically brings about a dip in testosterone and estrogen levels in a woman’s body. It leads to certain changes in the body and also reduces libido. A drop in libido means that sexual arousal becomes a cause of concern. This can bring in certain problems in your sexual/conjugal life. Lower estrogen levels reduce supply of blood to the vagina, thus resulting in lubrication problems. A dry vagina during sexual intercourse can lead you to experience pain during sex.
To remedy lubrication problems, use water soluble lubricants to lubricate your vagina. Avoid using non-water soluble products such as petroleum jelly as it can weaken the latex. Non water soluble lubricants are also known to aggravate bacterial vaginosis. You may also use vaginal moisturizers to address the issue. There are oral medications that are available, which cause the tissues of the vagina to thicken, thus causing less pain during sex.
Improving your libido
You can opt for estrogen therapy to reduce pain during sex as this therapy helps in vaginal lubrication. The main objective of estrogen therapy (Hormone Replacement Therapy) is to ease the discomforts associated with a deficiency of estrogen secretion in the body. You should consult a professional who will be able to guide and counsel you.
Certain other measures to rev up your libido have been listed below:
- Indulge in foreplay: Try and include activities such as oral sex and erotic massages in your agenda. Experimentation with foreplay can help spice things up between you and your partner.
- Try out new things: Change your sex poses, read erotic books or watch erotic videos as these may help in boosting your libido.
Bear in mind that menopause does not prevent STDs; you still need to take proper precautions before engaging in sexual intercourse. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Sexologist.
According to research, 80% of women fail to reach the pinnacle of gratification during physical intimacy. Therefore, certain tips may come in handy for women when it comes to achieving an orgasm by making the man last longer.
- Indulge in foreplay: Foreplay is usually very helpful in making the man last longer than usual. According to a popular woman's magazine, alternating between the actual intercourse and foreplay might actually titillate the man's senses even more, which helps him last longer.
- Change positions: Changing positions frequently may also delay orgasm for the man, thus helping him to last longer. Certain positions are rather helpful in this regard, especially the ones which let the woman take charge of things in the bedroom.
- Take it slow: It might be useful for the couple to begin slowly and for the woman to take her time in exploring her partner's body. The idea here is to increase the pace gradually instead of getting too fast too soon.
- Try to take his mind off the action: It usually helps a man last longer in bed by taking his mind off the immediate act. This reduces the heightened levels of arousal, making him to last comparatively longer.
- Indulge in more "between the sheets" action: Having more sex causes the man to be more sexually experienced, thus making him out-last his previous standards.
- Some DIY can help you beat the clock: Masturbating more frequently increases a man's ability to hold off ejaculation. This habit, though in excess is bad for a man's libido, if practiced in moderation, can help him stretch his couch sessions. If you wish to discuss any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
A normal healthy love life is as important as having a healthy body and mind. However, many men tend to have problems in maintaining a healthy love life due to the problem of impotence. A man is diagnosed as impotent when he experiences serious trouble getting an erection despite arousal or maintaining it during sexual intercourse.
Physical and mental impact:
If the erectile dysfunction becomes a regular phenomenon, it can severely affect the person’s relationship status, not to mention his self esteem. Sometimes, impotence might be an indication of a serious underlying condition.
You might be suffering from male impotence if:
1. You are experiencing recurrent and significant trouble in order to get and subsequently maintain an erection.
2. You are suffering from a low sex drive for a long amount of time.
3. A combination of the both.
Either way, a consultation with the doctor might help to cure male impotence through a prescribed dosage of medications. In extreme cases, the doctor might prescribe an artificial replacement of testosterone within the body or even a surgery in order to normalize things. If male impotence occurs due to psychological factors, sessions of counseling might help to improve the condition. If diagnosed and treated efficiently, male impotence is an easily curable condition.
Male impotence or erectile dysfunction might occur due to numerous physical or psychological factors. Some of the causes of erectile dysfunction are as follows:
Medication and treatments: Erectile dysfunction might occur due to the side effects of certain medications such as chemotherapy and blood pressure medications.
- Excessive alcohol consumption, tobacco usage or drug abuse: These elements put many harmful elements within your body and may result in prostate cancer or surgery within the pelvic area. If anyone has recently undergone surgery to treat prostate cancer or other problems of the pelvic area, it may cause impotence as well.
- Psychological trauma: Since the brain is one of the most important agents responsible for erections, any form of psychological trauma, anxiety or stress might trigger a dysfunction in the process as well.
Sexual frustration is very common and almost everyone experience it at some point in their lives. Sexual frustration can occur because of a lack of having a sexual partner or having a partner with whom you cannot fully sexually express yourself. Sometimes, having a partner who doesn't understand your sexual needs can become very frustrating. It is necessary to understand the root cause of this problem and take help to feel better.
How can you deal with sexual frustration?
- Masturbation: It is safe, healthy and makes you aware of your pleasure points. Masturbation is considered a taboo and is frowned upon in many societies. You will have to work on this and try and try to overcome this. Sexual frustration can also build up due to the lack of achieving an orgasm. By masturbating daily, one can release endorphins in the body. Endorphins are a chemical which act as a natural stress buster and thus can ease the levels of anxiety and stress. Achieving an orgasm through masturbation can also release chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine which help you to relax your muscles.
- Accept yourself: Sexual frustration can also arise because of low self confidence of your body. Many men and women think that they might not get a sexual partner because they are unlovable, unworthy or unattractive. Learn to accept yourself so that you can reduce sexual frustration. Surround yourself with people who care for you and make you feel positive. Stop feeling guilty of your body image and learn to love yourself the way you are.
- Stop focusing on orgasms: Many times we concentrate way too much on achieving an orgasm and thus, we become depressed when we fail to achieve one. Try to focus on other things and try to enjoy the intercourse rather than being fixated on achieving an orgasm.
- Take professional help: Sometimes sexual frustration can occur from anxiety, stress and depression. A history of sexual abuse can also restrict you from enjoying it with your partner which results to sexual frustration. Booking an appointment with a sex therapist or a counselor can help you reduce depression and combat sexual frustration. Thus, don’t be afraid or feel inhibitions in seeking professional help.
- Experiment more: If you have been in a relationship with your partner for a long time, it is possible that sex becomes less exciting and intense which leads to sexual frustration. It is important to experiment with sex to spice up your sex life. Try engaging in role play, erotic story-telling and light forms of titillation such as BDSM (Bondage, Dominance and Submission and Masochism) or other role playing techniques.
What is Nightfall?
Nightfall or night discharge is a condition when some men ejaculate in sleep usually in the early hours of morning or late night. This problem usually worsens due to the weakness in muscles and nerves of penis due to past bad history of excessive masturbation, thinning of semen viscosity, fluctuation in hormones and a full bladder. Usually men are able to hold the semen but when it excess then it is eliminated in the form of nightfall.
In case of excessive semen flow and nightfall, a person might experience insomnia, dizziness, weakness, loss of memory and sight, pain in knees, weaker sexual incapacity, infertility, erectile, dysfunction and not to forget stress. In rare cases a person might pass urine along with semen.
Treatment for Nightfall:
It is believed that the best way to stop nightfall is by changing the lifestyle and treating with guidance of doctor. This includes reducing the frequency of masturbation and avoiding porn and nude pictures. However, there are some ways to cure nightfall naturally by doing the following:
1. Meditation increases concentration and inner feelings can be controlled. This helps distract men from indulging in unwanted activities and is very effective in controlling nightfall.
2. Exercise and Yoga allow a person to have full control of their mind, body and soul. By doing regular yoga and exercises sex related activities which induce nightfall can be avoided.
3. Bathing with essential oils before going to bed is helpful as it relaxes the body and mind and allows a good sleep.
4. Change in diet can prevent nightfall. Men who suffer from this problem should avoid acidic food.
Curing nightfall is easy and should be recognized so that it does not hamper the sex life of a man.
Following home remedies can also be taken to control or prevent the situation:
1. Bottle Gourd has a cooling effect thereby cools the system which is responsible for nightfall. It can be used in two ways, either by drinking bottle gourd juice before bedtime or by mixing the juice with sesame oil and massaging it.
2. Gooseberry or Amla, helps in increasing the immunity of the body. It is believed that drinking a glass of gooseberry juice can help get rid of nightfall.
3. Onions and garlic are known to cure many health related conditions. 3-4 cloves of raw garlic and onions in the form of salads should be had to cure nightfall.
4. Milk when combined with pre soaked almonds, banana, and ginger helps to eliminate this problem. Banana has a cooling property which helps to control the problem. Also, eating curd is beneficial as it has healing properties which cool the system and increase immunity.
5. Juice of celery and fenugreek are very helpful in night fall as well as premature ejaculation. These juices can be mixed with honey in a ratio of 2:1.
In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!
Yes we all desire for that perfect physical gratification that we get from being with our partners and we all look forward to a supercharged physical intimacy. However, what can go wrong with it? Most people will experience some sort of sexual difficulty at some point in their lifetime. Luckily, various healthcare professionals, including sex therapists and counselors, are trained to help people with these issues. Although individual cases vary in their specifics, a few sexual concerns are quite common.
Top Sexual Concerns among Women:
The top two sexual concerns for women are low desire or complete lack of sexual desire. Up to 40 percent of women report that they have little or no desire to have sex.
- Low Desire or Lack of Sexual Desire: Low desire or lack of desire is an increasing trend among women (and some men). Lack of desire is often accompanied by discussions about lack of time or energy for sex.
- Body Image Issues: Not liking what you see in the mirror can make the thought of being naked in front of someone else unpleasant.
- Aging and Hormonal Changes: Changes associated with menopause may conspire to reduce a woman's interest in sex. Hot flashes, night sweats and weight gain can be some of the causes.
- Relationship Conflicts: Conflict with one's partner over everyday issues, from money concerns to childbearing, can reduce feelings of desire.
- Unskilled Sexual Partners: People who are experiencing unsatisfactory sex often lose desire. The more bad sex you have, the less you want (conversely, the more good sex you have, the more you want).
- Medical Conditions: Certain medical conditions may affect sexual desire. One of the symptoms of depression, for example, is a lack of interest in sex.
What You Can Do?
First, you should work with your physician to rule out any physical reasons for low desire. Next, it is important to understand how your body responds to touch. Make time for self-pleasuring (masturbation) and explore your capacity to experience pleasure. If you wish to discuss any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
A marriage can go stale due to several reasons. If you blindly believe in the maxim, "marriages are made in heaven" you are still living inside a bubble. The gamut of difficulties faced in making a marriage work can leave newlyweds in complete awe. A marriage doesn't tiptoe on a tightrope between success and failure; it is more of a road taken towards happiness.
If your marriage doesn't fill you with contentment or you can sense the lack of bliss in your partner there are reasons to worry. Apart from the regular tiffs and grave contradictions a married couple could also bicker or part ways due to the non consummation of their marriage. At times only one person has to experience the toll of little sexual intimacy while at other times, both individuals suffer from its absence.
A newly wed couple fails to have sex for 3 main reasons:
- Male Issues: Erectile dysfunction (failure to get or maintain erection) and very early ejaculation before vaginally insertion.
- Female Issues: Either tight hymen or severe fear of pain & bleeding
- Position Difficulties: Surprisingly, many couples find it difficult to take proper position for sex as many do not have proper orientation of each other's body too.
Probable reasons behind non consummation of a marriage:
- Extreme exhaustion: Being very tired or exhausted can make you sexually inactive. One might be stressed due to work pressure. You or your partner could be tired of balancing professional and personal life. All these factors could lead to non consummation of marriage.
- Real or apparent rejection: In many cases only one person makes efforts to consummate the marriage. The partner may not directly decline your advances, but might not show much passion. This kind of passive response makes the other person feel rejected. You tend to avoid communication of such feelings and that complicates your situation. Along with lack of intercourse there arises a lack of love as well.
- Any kind of substance abuse: Addiction can deter you from performing in bed. Alcohol or drug abuse can reduce your sexual capabilities. There is also a range of medications leading to erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness as a side effect. Having a physical inadequacy can make you recede from the idea of consummation.
- Lack of emotional attachment: Two people might have gotten married under societal or familial pressure. They may not feel love for each other or might not have anything in common to strike a chord of friendship. Lack of emotional attachment can prohibit the consummation of your marriage.
- Sexual trauma: A person might have experienced instances of sexual abuse in childhood or at some point of time in life. Such instances scar them forever; the scars could be deep enough to come in the way of intercourse after marriage. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Sexologist.
Genophobia or coitophobia is the irrational psychological fear of intercourse. It is a type of a phobia and people suffering from it fill all or most of the criteria of specific phobia according to the ICD (The International Statistical Classification of Diseases). Genophobic people may be terrified of sexual intercourse or all acts involving sex. It is different from erotophobia in the sense erotophobia is the irrational fear of sexuality and not the act in itself.
- The causes of genophobia may be attributed to different experiences and origins according to different psychological perspectives. According to the psychoanalytic perspective, genophobia may be caused by the rigid or extremely religious upbringing, which affected the development of ego, making the individual fear all acts that are sexual because it causes moral anxiety and a severe clash of the superego (ethical portion of one's personality)and i'd (primitive component of one's personality).
- According to the learning perspective, genophobia may develop due to an unpleasant sexual experience such as rape or molestation. Rape Trauma Syndrome leads the survivor to relive the trauma several times and develop apprehension. They may begin to fear sex eventually by relating it to the unpleasant experience, eventually leading to genophobia. It may also be caused if the individual observes sexual acts that are traumatizing in nature, in media or otherwise.
- It may also result from severe performance anxiety, especially for those who lack sexual experience and have abstained from sex for a prolonged period of time. There is also a chance that other phobias, such as the fear of diseases, especially STDs, may lead to a fear of sexual acts. Some people might relate sexual intercourse with acquiring diseases, thus leading to the development of genophobia.
Symptoms: Symptoms of genophobia include the fear of sexual intercourse and all acts within, breathlessness, nausea, dizziness, feeling sick and fear of losing control. All these symptoms take place in the context of sexual acts.
Treatment: Genophobia is treated like all other phobias. Therapeutic technique such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (a conversation centric therapy that focuses on how thoughts and beliefs can affect one's actions) is widely used in the treatment of genophobia along with medications. The therapeutic technique varies from patient to patient. For instance, the therapeutic technique used for a rape survivor would be completely different from that which is used for an individual with a fear of STDs. With proper treatment, genophobia is curable, eventually allowing the individual to have a particularly healthy sex life. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Sexologist.
Low libido or a decreased sexual activity can affect a relationship in a big way. Time and again, an individual, irrespective of their age, sex or occupation can go through periods of low libido. Decreased sexual desire over a longer period of time needs thorough investigation. It could be an indication of something big and serious lying ahead.
Critical factors that attribute to low libido are:
- Stress: An individual's mental and emotional state is greatly reflected in their sexual performance. A sound mental health can enhance a performance thousand folds. On the contrary, factors like depression, anxiety and stress, lowers the sexual desires in a person. To enjoy a healthy and normal sexual life, it is important to keep stress and chronically blue moods at bay.
- Sound sleep: The benefits of a sound sleep are beyond imagination. A good 6 - 8 hours of sleep can do your sexual desires or libido a world of good. A sleep deprived soul will be agitated and cranky, both on and off the bed. Continuous sleep deprivation can also lower the testosterone level, resulting in low libido.
- Smoking: A killer habit, which affects a person's sexual activity is smoking. Drug abuse and drinking (to some extent) can be equally responsible for a low libido.
- Change in weight: A sudden change in body weight (gain or loss) can play a significant role in low libido. Take pride in your body structure. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
- Take a break: Boredom can mask your sexual life greatly. Break the monotony, take short breaks, go on vacations and low libido will be a thing of the past. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.