5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

6 Unexpectedly easy ways to give your sex life a whole new dimension

New Year is a good the time for new beginnings. At times our sex lives needs to be revived too. After a few years together, a couple’s sex life may begin to stagnate. A boring sex life can negatively impact your relationship as well. But by employing some very easy tricks in the bedroom, you can bring back the passion and add spark to your life. 
Can’t figure out where to start? Here are 6 tips and tricks to help you out. 

1. Be spontaneous: One of the main reasons a couple’s sex life dwindles is because they fall into a routine. Whether it’s the position you choose, or the sequence of events- right from foreplay to the actual intercourse- every couple has their own set routine. Break this monotony and try out new positions that can greatly enhance your pleasure. Also, try having sex somewhere else in the house that you haven’t before to spice things up.

2. Don’t be shy: Sex is one of the most intimate acts you can share with someone. However, sometimes you may find yourself being unable to open up to your partner about what gets you in the mood. This can make sex an unfulfilling experience. Try telling your partner what you’d like him/her to do. You might end up discovering that both of you share a common fantasy you hadn’t spoken about before.

3. Explore all erogenous zones: There are a lot of erogenous zones on a man and woman’s body. Take your time and get to know every single one of them. If you don’t know where they are, explore your partner’s body and see what turns him/her on and where. This is a great exercise that also sets the foundation for more fulfilling sex in the future. 

4. Experiment with your lingerie: Clothes can be a turn on or a turn off depending on what you wear. Try experimenting with your lingerie. A host of options are available out there for both men and women. These days you can even buy edible lingerie on leading online shopping sites. Choose bright shades like red, as they’ve been proven to increase arousal.

5. Play around with sex toys: Introducing sex toys in your bedroom can prove to be very stimulating as well as exciting for both you and your partner. Sex toys come in all shapes and sizes, for both men and women. You can take your pick from vibrators and vibrating rings, handcuffs, etc; even lubricants and gels can be used to enhance pleasure and make sex more exciting.

6. Shave your pubic hair: Another way to give your sex life a whole new dimension, shaving off your pubic hair can increase the sensitivity in your genitals making sex a more pleasurable experience. Besides, for many shaved genitals have a visual appeal and cause intense arousal, which is very important when it comes to having a satisfying sex life. 

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

6 Easy Ways to Give Your Sex Life a New Dimension in 2016

Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

Viagra doesn t boost your libido, it simply works when the man is sexually aroused, by giving him the power to perform and enjoy a passionate stance. Instead of depending on an external drug, go natural by adopting the following means by not only increasing your libido but also enhancing performance.

4 powerful ways to make your sex life better

1) Natural Nitric Boosters - They are a must have if you want a better sexual health. Nitric oxide is one of the main reasons behind an  erection  and therefore, it can be directly taken in the form of food or as a supplement. It helps in preventing blood pressure, cardiovascular diseases and improves the blood flow. There are certain foods that can boost nitric oxide naturally, such as dark chocolate, walnuts, pomegranate, watermelon, brown rice, beets and garlic.

2) Exercise - It is important to exercise and stay fit if you want a healthier sex life. You shouldn t have to do furious strength training. Instead, simply opt for cardio exercises, do strength training or weight lifting if you like. 

3) The greens - There are several greens that, when combined with the bacteria in your gut can help in transforming nitrites to nitric oxide. This includes cabbage, iceberg lettuce, parsley, spinach, celery and collard greens.

4) Sunlight - Sunlight provides us with Vitamin D and also gives the skin an opportunity to synthesize more nitric oxide. 


4 Recommended Natural Sex Boosters 

Tips to last longer in bed
 
You cannot enjoy your sexual life to the fullest if you are unable to last long enough during the act of intercourse. And the primary reason for not being able to do so is not having a good stamina. However just like athletic activities, sexual performance can get a boost if you work on stamina and follow these simple ways to achieve the same.

1. Try pelvic floor exercises: common knowledge is that women or people with bladder issues need to do pelvic floor exercises. What is little known is that pelvic floor exercises can help men treat premature ejaculation.

2. Let there be setting of mood: a pregame is a great mood setter and however crazy this sounds, it actually can help you last longer. Get your partner to massage you. Guide her into how you would like it and take it slow instead of rushing into the act. Research also suggests that if the man masturbates some time before he has sex; he can last longer.

3. Be open to being lead: men usually prefer to be in charge but a lot of times, especially in the bed, a woman taking the charge can prove to be a great experience for both; particularly if you have any problem or stress. Most men feel embarrassed to see a doctor for any sexual problem, ignoring the fact that if treated early, there might not exist any problem at all. Be open to consult a sexologisif you feel somethings not right.

4. Stop and go: while having sex, a little bit of stop and start can prove to be a good way to l cool down and start with renewed energy. When you stop, you can probably try bonding with each other to further help you satisfy each other.
If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

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4 Surest Ways For Men To Last Longer in Bed

There are phases in life when you do not feel energetic enough to engage in sex. It could be due to stress, long work hours or other biological reasons. A healthy, active sexual life helps in reducing a number of health issues, keeps you de-stressed, happier and most importantly, helps in keeping the relationship's spark alive! Certain foods are known to address just that and help in running your libido.

Try these boosters to get the spark back in your life.

1) Black Raspberries - They will get you into mood. Snack on it as it helps in increasing your sexual endurance. Consume at least 10 black raspberries an hour before getting busy.

2) Figs - Figs are considered excellent stimulants of fertility, enhance the secretion of pheromones. Try feasting on a few figs every day to notice a difference.

3) Cloves - Cloves are sex-superfoods. In fact, they have been used as a natural treatment for sexual dysfunction for years. They possess aphrodisiac qualities. Having a few will naturally up your libido.

4) Watermelon - Watermelon is known for boosting serotonin and endorphin levels, both of which are linked to improved sexual performance. Have the fruit regularly.

5) Eggs - Poach them, scramble them, make an omelette or do a sunny side up. There are just so many ways to eat an egg. But no matter how you eat it, the results will be the same - your libido will rocket up. It is used for heart ailments and erectile dysfunction as well.

6) Ginger - A little bit of ginger every day boosts circulation and so enhances your libido.

7) Lettuce - Lettuce is a libido booster for both men and women. Have iceberg lettuce with little salad or just nibble it and you will be good to go!

If you have any questions on improving sexual health, please click on 'Consult.

From Lybrate: If you found this tip useful, please thank the doctor by clicking on the heart icon below. Also, spread good health by sharing this tip with your loved ones over WhatsApp, Facebook and other media.

Boost Your Sex Drive With These 7 Foods

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