3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

Here is a list of 3 scientifically proven ways of increasing intimacy with your partner.

1. Look them in the eye and tell them all about yourself

Self-disclosure is an important part of relationships, especially during the initial phase. However, gradually as people feel that they've known enough about each other, communication seems to come to a standstill.

But the actual reason for this is not the lack of things to talk about but resistance which arises out of a feeling of vulnerability. It mostly happens in established relationships because both the partners do not wish to break past the certainty and assurance.

Therefore, the revealing part that may lead to some changes in perception is often skipped. However, not doing so and truly communicating with your partner can help you in increasing intimacy and having a deeper connection with your partner.

2. Share the laughter

Sharing the joy and the humorous experiences is a great way of increasing intimacy with your partner. Since every person's sense of humour is different, humour is a deeply personal aspect of your personality. Therefore, when you share genuine laughter with your partner that is when your sense of humour matches with each other, it improves your understanding and builds intimacy.

3. Tell them how you feel and know how they feel

It is extremely important for you to talk with your partner about how you feel - not just about the relationship, but about other important aspects of your life as well. If conflicts are dealt with by discussing how you feel about them and not on the lines of rationality, you end up feeling more intimate with your partner. Honestly discussing and exchanging your feelings is an amazing way of increasing your intimacy with your partner.



3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

4 Easy ways to increase your libido

Libido is a term that is used to describe the sexual desire for sexual activity. According to WHO, sexual health is a state of physical, mental and social well-being, which is why libido is one of the key factors to a sound and healthy life. As men have 40 times as much testosterone as women, they are thought to have a more intense sexual drive. Dopamine plays a strong role in libido and motivation. Physical issues like low testosterone, too much exercise, and alcohol can cause low libido. Psychological issues may include depression and stress in everyday life.

The good news is that libido can be increased through some simple measures, which are:

1. Have a positive outlook

Prolonged stress can diminish your interest in sex, and men and women have different reactions to stressful situations. Both partners need to discuss their stressful jobs each day and find a non-stressful time for sex. Besides, being self-confident and optimistic makes you feel more sexual and charming to your partner.

2. Following a proper balanced diet

Natural supplements can increase your blood flow and help fight vaginal dryness. You can try the much-touted libido-boosting foods, known as aphrodisiacs. Figs, bananas, avocados, eggs, chocolate, and mangoes can help to increase libido. Foods rich in vitamin E, vitamin C, vitamin B complex, and zinc may help to boost sperm count, improve sperm motility and increase testosterone production in men.

3. Prepare for intimacy

If you are planning some quality time with your partner and hope to get him/her 'in the mood' you can try chocolate and coffee. Chocolate has been as the symbol of a desire not only for its delectable taste but because of its power to improve sexual desire. Coffee and chocolate both produce positive mood states, releasing endorphins, providing energy and increasing physical endurance. Wine, or any other form of alcoholic drink, consumed in a small amount, may help people to relax and get in the mood. However, caution must be maintained as excessive consumption can result in impotence in men.

4. Take time to meditate and relieve stress

Being stressed out can affect your sex drive. To relieve stress you can indulge in sports activities and exercises. Lifting the weight or doing resistance training exercises like pushups help to break down and rebuild muscles, creating a spike in testosterone production. For many couples, working out together can become a stimulating experience that gets them in the mood. Exercises can increase performance, range of motion, endurance, boost confidence and help you look younger and more attractive.



4 Easy Ways to Increase Your Libido

There are phases in life when you do not feel energetic enough to engage in sex. It could be due to stress, long work hours or other biological reasons. A healthy, active sexual life helps in reducing a number of health issues, keeps you de-stressed, happier and most importantly, helps in keeping the relationship's spark alive! Certain foods are known to address just that and help in running your libido.

Try these boosters to get the spark back in your life.

1) Black Raspberries - They will get you into mood. Snack on it as it helps in increasing your sexual endurance. Consume at least 10 black raspberries an hour before getting busy.

2) Figs - Figs are considered excellent stimulants of fertility, enhance the secretion of pheromones. Try feasting on a few figs every day to notice a difference.

3) Cloves - Cloves are sex-superfoods. In fact, they have been used as a natural treatment for sexual dysfunction for years. They possess aphrodisiac qualities. Having a few will naturally up your libido.

4) Watermelon - Watermelon is known for boosting serotonin and endorphin levels, both of which are linked to improved sexual performance. Have the fruit regularly.

5) Eggs - Poach them, scramble them, make an omelette or do a sunny side up. There are just so many ways to eat an egg. But no matter how you eat it, the results will be the same - your libido will rocket up. It is used for heart ailments and erectile dysfunction as well.

6) Ginger - A little bit of ginger every day boosts circulation and so enhances your libido.

7) Lettuce - Lettuce is a libido booster for both men and women. Have iceberg lettuce with little salad or just nibble it and you will be good to go!

If you have any questions on improving sexual health, please click on 'Consult.

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Boost Your Sex Drive With These 7 Foods

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

How too much sugar can adversely affect your sex life

Sugar is an important source of calories in the body as it can provide immediate energy to the body after consumption. Sugar being a simple carbohydrate is digested quickly and released into the bloodstream to be used as energy. However, too much sugar in the bloodstream at once can cause a host of disorders in the body including affecting one's sex life. Outlined below are the ways how sugar adversely affects sex life-

1. Impairs the gene that regulates sex hormones

Glucose and fructose are synthesized in the liver, where the excess is converted into fat. When fat synthesis rate goes up in the body, it affects SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin) gene in the body. This gene is responsible for regulating the levels of testosterone and estrogen in the body. Hence, in this case, the affected person becomes highly susceptible to infertility.

2. Lowers testosterone levels

Indulging in a diet that consists of too much sugar affects insulin resistance. Due to this, testosterone levels drop in both men and women. This causes disorders related to sexual function such as erectile dysfunction and also reduces sex drive.

3. Fatigue and reduced energy levels

Foods high in sugar cause temporary spikes in blood sugar which in turn results in fatigue, thus reducing sex drive. It also decreases levels of Orexin, a neurotransmitter that regulates feelings of arousal in the body, causing fatigue and lethargy.

4. Increases stress

Increased stress levels as a result of sugar consumption occur when high insulin levels cause the body to produce cortisol, a stress hormone. Too much cortisol in the body decreases libido



How too much sugar can adversely affect your sex life

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