HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

Bipolar disorder is also known as maniac depression. This usually sets in low and high moods in a person along with change in energy and sleep.
People with bipolar disorder tend to have periodical changes; sometimes they are over happy and other times they might feel sad, depressed and hopeless. Between these changes they are normal. The highs and lows are considered as extreme poles of moods, thus the name bipolar disorder.
Manic term is used when a person with bipolar disorder is highly excited and feels confident. Also, feelings of irritability and recklessness along with irrationality might occur. Some people with mania might have a hallucination that is they see and hear things that are not there, along with delusions. 
The term hypomania is used to describe mild symptoms of mania, in which a person does not have hallucinations and delusions and the symptoms do not interfere with their daily life. Similarly, the term depressive is used to describe a person's time when they feel depressed or sad. 
Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
The highs and lows in a bipolar disorder do not follow any set pattern. One might feel manic or depressed for hours or days or weeks, months and even years together before they actually switch to a happy mood. The severity depends from person to person and also changes with time by becoming less or more severe.
Symptoms of mania or the high are extreme excitement, change from being happy to angry and irritable along with restlessness, speech is rapid with low concentration, less sleep and increased energy, high se drive, grand plans, alcohol and drug abuse and impulsiveness.
Symptoms of low or depressive phase are lethargy, worthlessness, feeling of sadness and hopelessness, lowered concentration, irritability, loss of sleep or excessive sleeping, loss of appetite and suicidal tendencies.
Diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder:
In case someone exhibits symptoms of bipolar disorder, then talking to a psychiatrist or a doctor helps. Doctors ask questions related to the mental illness and the associated concerns. Diagnosis is basically recognizing the symptoms of the person, whether they are due to some underlying cause or mood swings because of excessive alcohol. The symptoms have to be noted and the duration for which they last along with the severity should all be noted. The most obvious symptoms are that of lows and highs in mood and changes in behavior, energy, sleep and thoughts.
Consulting a doctor or talking to family and friends helps to differentiate the symptoms of bipolar disorder from unipolar disorder.
Treatment:
Medicines which involve mood stabilizers such as lamotrigine, valproate, lithium, carbamazepine and antipsychotics such as olanzapine, quetiapine should be taken. Psychotherapy is also recommended.

Bipolar Disorder - What It Means

Panic disorder is a condition that strikes without reason or caution and can be serious. Indications of panic disorder usually include sudden attacks of panic and anxiety, in addition to physical side effects, such as sweating and a pounding heart. During a fit of panic, the reaction is based on the circumstances, which may not be threatening in general, but triggers a feeling of panic. After some time, a person with a panic disorder builds up a consistent fear of having another fit of anxiety, which can influence the every day functioning and lifestyle in general. Panic disorder usually occurs alongside other conditions like depression, liquor abuse, or drug abuse.

You might experience the ill effects of a panic disorder if you:

Encounter frequent, unforeseen fits of anxiety that are not attached to a particular circumstance or event
Stress over having another fit of anxiety
Are trying to avoid the places of your precious panic attacks
The most common symptoms of a panic disorder are as follows:

Trouble relaxing and feeling uneasy most of the time
Beating heart or abdominal pain with a feeling of nervousness
Serious irrational and emotional fear
Feeling as if you are out of breath
Feeling as if you are being choked or smothered
Dizzy spells
Trembling or shaking
Sweating constantly
Feeling nauseous or having a stomach ache
Shivering or numbness in the fingers and toes
Sudden chills or hot flashes
A fear that you are losing control or are about to die
While a single panic attack may just last a couple of minutes, the impact of the experience can leave a long lasting impression and make you susceptible to more such attacks. In case you have this issue, the repetitive fits of panic take an emotional toll. The memory of the fear that you felt during these attacks can affect your self-confidence and cause interruption to your regular day-to-day existence. In the end, this prompts to the following panic disorder effects:

Expectant uneasiness: Instead of feeling like yourself in the middle of panic attacks, you feel tensed and on edge. This uneasiness originates from a dread of having future attacks of anxiety. This fear is seen more often than not, and can be extremely disabling at times.
Phobic avoidance: You start to stay away from specific circumstances or situations. This might happen since you are maintaining a strategic distance because of your previous panic attack. On the other hand, you may stay away from areas where escape would be troublesome or help would be inaccessible in case you had a fit of panic.
Medicines: Medicines can be used to control or decrease a majority of the side effects of panic disorder. Even if medicines do not form a part of the main treatment, when combined with other treatments, medicines are very effective. Eg. therapy and lifestyle changes.

Panic Disorder - 12 Signs You Are Suffering From it!

Schizophrenia has been recognized as a mental disorder that combines symptoms like hallucinations with distorted thinking and others like fright and severe paranoia. This condition is one that gets progressively worse over time and leads to delusional thinking. Oversleeping and complaining of fatigue are usually the earliest signs of this condition's onset. Eventually, it becomes a debilitating factor in the life of the patient, who will not be able to function in a normal way due to the severe symptoms.

Read on to know more about the types and causes of this condition:

Genetic Causes: Schizophrenia may be caused due to genetic factors and it may be a learned or inherited disorder. It is known to affect patients who have a parent or a sibling who may have suffered from this condition. Yet, one must also remember that Schizophrenia can only be influenced by genetics, and not determined by the same.
Environmental Causes: When there has been an exposure to a viral infection during the pre natal stage, the patient is susceptible to this condition. Also, it may affect children who have been subject to the loss of a parent or separation at an early age. Physical and emotional abuse in one's childhood may also bring on this condition. Low level of oxygen at the time of birth is one of the causes of this condition in many patients.
Anomalies in Brain Structure: When the brain ventricles of the patient are enlarged, he or she may be prone to this condition. Also, anomalies in the temporal lobes and amygdala have links with the onset of this condition.
Types: A wide variety of mental and medical conditions can manifest with psychotic symptoms that must be considered in the differential diagnosis of schizophreniform disorder. These include psychotic disorder due to another medical condition or its treatment; delirium or major neurocognitive disorder; substance/medication-induced psychotic disorder or delirium; depressive or bipolar disorder with psychotic features; schizoaffective disorder; other specified or unspecified bipolar and related disorder; depressive or bipolar disorder with catatonic features; schizophrenia; brief psychotic disorder; delusional disorder; other specified or unspecified schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorder; schizotypal, schizoid, or paranoid personality disorders; autism spectrum disorder; disorders presenting in childhood with disorganized speech; attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder; obsessive-compulsive disorder; posttraumatic stress disorder; and traumatic brain injury.
Since the diagnostic criteria for schizophreniform disorder and schizophrenia differ primarily in duration of illness, the discussion of the differential diagnosis of schizophrenia also applies to schizophreniform disorder. 

Brief psychotic disorder. Schizophreniform disorder differs in duration from brief psychotic disorder, which has a duration of less than 1 month.

Residual Schizophrenia is a condition where the patient does not experience the various debilitating symptoms of the condition, and is on the road to recovery. Yet, even in this type of Schizophrenia, the patient will not really show any interest in life and the activities around him or her. Finally, the last type of Schizophrenia is Schizoaffective Disorder which is characterised by the symptoms of Schizophrenia as well as the symptoms of major mood disorders. When combined, this condition can lead to major complications and complex behavior.

A patient suffering from this condition will need to see a mental health specialist like a psychiatrist or a psychologist on an immediate basis. The treatment will be carried out on a long term basis for the results to start appearing.

Schizophrenia - Know the Causes Behind it

If you're suffering from weak memory or memory loss, Ayurveda might be able to solve your problems. Ayurveda uses natural remedies to cure many diseases, and even though forgetting where you put your glasses or cell phones may not sound discrete enough, it may be early signs of dementia. Before it escalates to that level, here are 5 foods that you may try to curb it as the first signs appear.
1. Almonds are the most effective food items to increase your brain power and cure amnesia. They are a rich source of Omega-3 fatty acids and antioxidants that hike up your mental prowess. It is best to have them early in the morning, grinded and mixed with milk and sugar (or a healthier supplement being honey), or otherwise, after being soaked overnight in water.
2. Ayurvedic herbs, like rosemary, brahmi, ashwagandha, shankhapushpi, licorice plant, etc., are all known to have medicinal properties that improve your brain power. Regulated incorporation of these herbs in your diet in requisite amount relaxes your mind, and thereby improves its functioning capacity.
3. Indian Gooseberry or amla, is rich in Vitamin C, as well as antioxidants, which helps boost immunity, but other than that, amla is also known to have properties to strengthen your nervous system. It is one of the best remedies for managing Alzheimer's disease. It can be consumed raw or dried, and at times along with white sesame seeds.
4. Fish oil is an excellent way to enhance your memory, especially if you are a non-vegetarian. It contains rich quantities of Omega-3 fatty acids, which help rejuvenate your brain cells. But if you are a vegetarian or vegan, fish oil or even fishes like salmon, might not be best suited to your dietary preference, in which case it may be more helpful to consume Omega-3 supplements which are readily available in the market, or even fenugreek seeds.
5. Cinnamon helps in revitalizing your mental health, when consumed, or even when smelled. Add a pinch of cinnamon to your food, or mix a teaspoon with honey, and it will work wonders for your mental health.

5 Ayurvedic Tips To Improve Memory Power - Boost Your Mind Power

Every smoker knows smoking is not good, yet the addiction stays. This addiction can lead to a variety of problems that can damage their body in  at times, irreparable ways. The tar in cigarettes is particularly damaging. It can lead to reduction in oxygen consumption and replenishment in the body and makes open or more susceptible to diseases such as emphysema and bronchitis. However the biggest killer is 'nicotine. There are ways to offset nicotine intake.

Adopt these methods to detox your body of nicotine.
 
1) Drink lots of water -  Having a lot of water helps. Lime water, chamomile or green tea help a lot in flushing out the nicotine that has accumulated your body for over the years.

2) Take diet rich in nutrients and fibres - Nicotine addiction and if you quit, smoking withdrawal may lead to unbalanced diet and weight gain. So, ensure that you consume enough fibre for regular bowel movement to clean out your system. Berries, grapes, mangoes and a variety of antioxidants are a must have.

3) Avoid these foods - There are certain foods you should consider avoiding. For instance, alcohol. Also, avoid soda, caffeine and fried foods as well.

4) Exercise - Strengthen the capacity of your lungs through deep breathing and other cardio-strength training exercises.

5) Make 'No Smoke' a Goal - The only long term help in detoxifying your body from nicotine is to remain smoke free. While your determination plays the most important role here, some people can leave it without many hassles, while others witness severe withdrawal symptoms. You can also opt for a nicotine patch or gum to help you with it.

If you have any further questions on issues related to smoking or other general health queries, click on 'consult.

From Lybrate: If you found this tip useful, please thank the doctor by clicking on the heart icon below. Also, spread good health by sharing this tip with your loved ones over WhatsApp, Facebook and other media.

Can't Stop Smoking? Atleast Follow This Advice.

Don't wait any longer, manage your Relationship Counsellor online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Relationship Counsellor - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES