Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

Change in voice or voice mutilation happens when the voice breaks that commonly occur when a person reaches puberty. Before puberty, almost all the girls and boys have the same voice pitch. But after puberty, a boy s voice deepens an octave and the girl s voice deepens only several tones. Therefore, it becomes easy to identify the gender through voice. 

Another type of change in voice is known as voice crack. It happens when a person unintentionally enters a higher voice pitch zone for a brief period of time. It may be due to singing, shouting, talking in noise, and several other reasons. Also, there are several medical conditions leading to voice break or hoarseness. 

Medical Causes for Change in Voice

Acute Laryngitis: In this, the hoarseness or voice loss starts suddenly. One of the reasons can be a viral infection that causes swelling of vocal cords. Staying hydrated and less talk can treat it. 

Chronic Laryngitis: It can cause acid reflux disease. Exposure to irritating smoke, infections of vocal cords, or asthma can be some of the reasons. It can be cured only through medication.

Laryngopharyngeal Reflux Disease: This problem causes a change in voice. Due to this disease, people may also suffer from swelling issues, a lump in the throat, hoarseness in voice, and throat pain. 

Voice Misuse: Excessively loud voice, prolonged talking, and inefficient voice use can cause a change in voice and also known as voice misuse. 

Risk Factors That Can Cause Voice Disorder

Aging, alcohol use, and allergies are some of the major reasons for the voice disorder. Apart from these, smoking and throat cancer also results in a change in voice or voice disorders. All these are highly risky causes for the throat and may result in long-time problems. 

Some other risk factors are thyroid, psychological stress, and neurological disorder. 

How to Treat Voice Disorder?

One can use an air humidifier to keep the air of the surrounding moist because breathing moist air is a simple solution to the problem.

Giving rest to voice is also a solution.

One must drink plenty of liquids to keep the throat hydrated.

One must avoid whispering and decongestants to take care of the throat.

One must avoid shouting for a long time.

Avoid staying in a polluted area for a long time.

Gargling the throat every day with lukewarm water is good.

Staying warm during winters is also necessary.

All these remedies are simple and can be tried comfortably. A simple change in voice can turn out to be serious if not taken proactive measures. Therefore, one must not ignore any small unintentional change in the voice.

Conclusion
One must consult ENT doctor immediately for any sudden change in voice and if the problem lasts for a long period of time. 



Change In Voice - What Can Cause It?

The risk of developing depression is found by the means of various researches to be two to three times higher in individuals suffering from a chronic disease than in normal individuals. Type 1 and type 2 Diabetes are chronic diseases that can prove to be very challenging to manage due to various setbacks and complications that can come in the way. Regular monitoring of the blood sugar levels is essential in managing the blood sugar. Navigation of the health care facilities, side effects caused by medications, and other related health conditions or even diabetic complications can cause an increased risk of developing depression. If left undiagnosed and untreated, depression can give way to a poor lifestyle choice that can further deteriorate the physical health of a person. 

Various risk factors that are associated with diabetes and depression are as follows- 

lack of physical activity
poor social environment
poverty
stress during pregnancy
Depression in diabetes can occur simultaneously due to a variety of factors. These include the psychological and psychosocial impact of the disease on an individual, a potential common genetic susceptibility and certain common pathophysiological abnormalities that involve neuro-immunological and neuro-endocrinal pathways, as well as microvascular brain lesions due to diabetes mellitus. However, issues concerning pathogenesis and causality of this high co-occurrence are not fully determined yet. Still, the presence of depression in patients with diabetes mellitus is of vast importance, as it is usually associated with poor disease control, adverse health outcomes and quality of life impairment.

When an individual is suffering from diabetes, the awareness of risks of developing depression is essential. It has been widely researched and found that these two conditions can occur simultaneously, where depression is usually undiagnosed. Diabetes, specifically type 2, and depression affect each other in a bi-directional manner, which means that each of the disease can prove as a risk factor for the other. In a state of depression, it is common for a person to consume high calorie foods and also to lead a sedentary lifestyle. This tendency can prove to be a risk factor for developing type 2 diabetes. 

If an individual already has type 2 diabetes, the stress experienced during the management of disease can cause depression. Type 1 diabetes develops as result of the defect of pancreas in production of insulin. 

People with type 1 diabetes can also develop depressive symptoms due to difficulties in the management of the disease. If the symptoms of depression develop in the patient already suffering from diabetes, management of diabetes also becomes difficult. This can lead to cause various diabetes related complications and also decrease the life expectancy. 

Various signs that can be observed in a state of depression are as follows: 

Complete lack of interest in doing any activity
Irritation or mood swings
Depressed mood
Disturbed sleep pattern
Changes in the appetite
Constant feeling of despair
Guilt Fatigue, weakness
Difficulty in concentration, transient memory loss
Suicidal tendency
There is a certain risk observed between the consumption of antidepressant medicines and development of diabetes. It has been researched and concluded that consuming antidepressants should always be on physician recommendation, with a prior advice on the risks of developing diabetes. It has also been found that the people with type 2 diabetes, who are using insulin regularly, are at higher risk for developing depression as compared to the people on non-insulin medications or following only diet or lifestyle modification habits. An additional stress experienced in managing diabetes and accessing the health care services can cause such complication in insulin users. 

Common treatment protocol for depression includes psychotherapy or the cognitive behavioral therapy. It helps people to correct destructive thought patterns and behaviors that tend to increase the depressive symptoms. Other interventions like a structured problem solving approach, motivational interviewing, and interpersonal approach towards the patient is also effective in management. Certain medications can also help in mood-lifting and the management of symptoms of depression.

In diabetics, the treatment options that are available in addition to the standard medical healthcare provision includes self-management training sessions that help the people to increase healthy habits and improve control on their blood sugar levels. Diabetes as well as depression can improve with complete focus on lifestyle changes, like proper diet management and exercising regularly.

How Diabetes Can Lead To Depression?

What happens when you are addicted to a chemical substance? You lose control of your life. It doesn t matter what you are addicted to alcohol, nicotine or drugs the effects are the same. It is usually not easy to get rid of an alcohol and/or nicotine addiction. Most people find it difficult to give up these substances even after years in de-addiction therapy. Hence, it s prudent to let Ayurveda, the ancient science of healing handhold us in getting rid of addictions. 

Cigarette smoke contains over 4,000 chemicals, including 43 known cancer-causing (carcinogenic) compounds and 400 other toxins. These cigarette ingredients include nicotine, tar, and carbon monoxide, as well as formaldehyde, ammonia, hydrogen cyanide, arsenic, and DDT. Perhaps this list of ingredients that are found in cigarettes is enough to make you want to quit smoking for good! - Lowell Kleinman, M.D., and Deborah Messina-Kleinman, M.P.H 

Addiction - The Ayurvedic View
Ayurveda considers alcohol and nicotine consumed in large quantities as  Visha  or toxic. According to Ayurveda, alcohol has the following properties-

Light or Laghu
Hot or Ushna
Sharp or Tikshna
Drying or Visada
Rough or Ruksha
Expensive or Vikaasa
Swift or Aasuga
Sour or Amla
Subtle or Sookshma
These properties are all opposite to the qualities that ojas possesses. Ojas has all life-giving properties and alcohol and nicotine have life-negating qualities.

Why do humans get addicted to alcohol and nicotine?
Human brain produces Dopamine normally and what alcohol does is to activate the nervous system to promote dopamine formation. The brain thus remembers the taste of alcohol and nicotine by creating special cells called receptor cells. As a person increases the quantity of alcohol, these cells also increase in numbers. When the person wants to give up his addictions these receptor cells agitate and create withdrawal symptoms with unpleasant and even dangerous symptoms.

De-addiction - Ayurveda Way
De-addiction treatments in Ayurveda comprise the following:

Purification therapies or Panchkarma: These are used for getting rid of all toxins present in the patient s body. These must always be done under the supervision of an ayurvedacharya as they are quite potent. After Panchakarma, the patient is given vomiting therapy or Vamana, followed by purgative therapy or Virechana, Basti or enema therapy and administration of Nasya or nasal drops therapy. All these help in detoxifying the body and mind and prepare the patient for further de-addiction ayurvedic treatments like Rasayana therapies which nourish and strengthen the body after Panchkarma. For treatment of addictions, Rasayana treatments include changes in diet and use of oral herbal medicines both.
Herbal medicines used in de-addiction: A range of herbal medicines and their combinations are used in the treatment of addictive problems in Ayurveda and these are to be consumed orally. Ayurveda prescribes Chamomile and Ashwagandha in combination to heal the lungs. These help in cleansing lungs of smoke- related problems. Doctors also prescribe congestion relieving herbs like ginger and pepper mixed with honey or lemon. 
In addition, herbs to improve memory, concentration and to fight depression are also given. These are:

Shankhpushpi
Kanphool or dandelion
Brahmi
Ashwagandha
In addition, herbs to treat sleep disturbances like Jatamansi, Sarpgandha, Brahmi and Jaiphal are also prescribed. Since most addicts have impaired liver function, herbs that improve liver function like Aloe Vera, Punarnava, Long pepper, Kutki, Tulsi are given to revive the liver.

Ayurvedic View on Alcohol and Nicotine De-addiction

Did you know that almost all of your nerves converge in your feet and that your foot is the most sensitive part of the human body? Did you also know that if there are any complications to your body, then the feet can show the symptoms indirectly? Science has time and again proved this and it is high time that you give the adequate care for your feet.

This is nowhere explained better than in ancient Ayurveda, where it emphasises the importance of foot massage and the need to strengthen the nerves. Ayurveda has a long traditional foot massage therapy called as  Padabhyanga  which can be traced back to more than 5000 years. The foot massage with essential oils would improve blood and lymphatic circulation, nourishes the skin, and calms the restless mind.

Foot massaging can relax the muscles of the feet and legs, it can also help in relieving stress and anxiety. Just like how the tree gets their nourishment from their roots, channelling a proper foot massage can rejuvenate the entire mind and body.  Let us look at in detail.

What is Padabhyanga?

The word Padabhyanga comes from the two Sanskrit words  Pada+abhyanga   Pada  means foot and  Abhyanga  means massage. It is one of the most calming and soothing massage therapy and can keep your mind and soul revitalised if done in a proper way. Participating in this massage therapy daily can allow you to release the clogged energies.

3 Types of Padabhyanga Massage:

The massage can be segregated into three different types as detailed below.

Padabhyanga with hand: This type of massage is the fundamental form of massage and is basically done by your hand in the rubbing and stroking of foot. The heat is generated by it and the cardiovascular circulation gets activated. The massage uses sesame seed oil generally and in some cases even herbal infused oil is also used for a better cure.
Padabhyanga with kasa bowl: In this type of massage, a Kasa bowls with oil coating are wormed. Then the bowl s round surfaces are used to massage the foot and sole in a circular motion. The kasa bowls are generally made of copper and tin. Massaging in such a manner can eliminate toxins and it can also release negative energies from your body.
Padabhyanga marma therapy: This type of therapy is very similar to acupuncture, where the pressure points of your feet are activated. These are called as marma points and special care is taken to make sure that these marma points are activated by pressing them over a small period of time. The therapy releases negative energy and relaxes your mind with rejuvenation.

Foot Massage - How It Can Help Relieve Stress?

You might be feeling that spending time on any social media network is a simple way to pass time and is a common habit. But a recent study by University of Chicago Booth School of Business says that social networking sites can be more addictive, than alcohol. The desire to consume alcohol can be controlled and turned down, but the desire to check Facebook is simply uncontrollable for most people, and it s a serious addiction.

About the study
The ground breaking study was done on 250 people in and around Germany aged between 18 and 85 years of age. They were sent messages at specific intervals to report their desires and cravings. It is found that most people had the desire to sleep and have sex during the day that they were able to control. But the desire for checking Facebook was much higher.

Reasons for Facebook addiction

One of the major reasons is that availability of Facebook is much easier and higher than alcohol availability.
Also, it is thought that the cost of checking Facebook is much less than consuming some amount of alcohol on a regular basis.
Even if a man wants to resist his desire, but due to easy availability and lesser cost, he is prone to use it again and again.
Alcohol consumption is prohibited in public and during office hours in many countries. But checking Facebook updates have no restrictions. People can check it whenever they feel the desire.
The most shocking part is the urges drove the people to such an extent, that they couldn t even resist themselves even if they wanted to do so.
Effects of Facebook addiction

Drainage of time: No matter how good we feel while checking Facebook updates, can you deny that it s simply a waste of time?
Self esteem reduced: When you see your peers enjoying their life with flying colors, no wonder you will feel depressed. But we are reluctant to believe this fact, that nobody shows his tragic part of life on Facebook. So, whom you think is the happiest person in the world, may be the saddest and is drowned in his own miseries.
Remedy of this so called addiction
The study says that when we are much worn out, we are unable to control our desire and our will power is depleted.

So, if you find yourself posting your status on Facebook at the midnight instead of sleeping, then it is high time you should try to come out of this addiction and give yourself a better life and health.

Facebook Vs Alcohol - Which Is More Addictive?

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