Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

The risks and harms of smoking are pretty much common knowledge to most people. Especially when the pack of cigarettes practically screams it out to you in bold letters. Yet, as statistics would say, smoking in young adults has been on the rise in the recent years. What makes them take this step? Maybe it is peer pressure, or maybe they do it for the thrill of it. Every country takes a great initiative in educating their population, yet some fail to understand the complexity of the situation.

Here are some of the reasons that will tell you that even a single puff of the deadly tobacco can severely harm your health and general well-being

Cigarette smoking is the leading cause of cancer. It can cause cancer in most organs of the body. Smoking cigarettes can cause the following
Nose cancer
Throat cancer
Larynx cancer
Mouth cancer
Oesophageal cancer
Lung cancer
Liver cancer
Cervix cancer
Stomach cancer
Kidney cancer
Colorectal cancer
Cervical cancer etc.
Smokers are more prone to respiratory diseases because smoking is capable of compromising the immune system of the body.
Autoimmune diseases such as Crohn s disease and Rheumatoid Arthritis are more likely to occur in smokers as their immune system is compromised by smoking.
Smoking has been linked to Diabetes type 2. This type of diabetes develops during adulthood. The more cigarettes a person smokes, the more likely is the person to develop this disease.
Smoking puts you at risk of developing several heart diseases such as angina, heart attacks, etc. because the nicotine in the body results in the lowering of good cholesterol. This causes deposition of bad cholesterol in the arteries.
Tobacco can cause tooth decay and several other oral problems such as gingivitis and other problems of the gum.
Cigarettes constrict your blood vessels. This constant narrowing of blood vessels can cause erectile dysfunction in men and leads to the infertility in both men and women. It also makes them difficult to achieve orgasms.
You might find yourself craving for cigarettes when you re stressed out. This is because the effect of nicotine in the cigarettes is lowered by the hormone produced during a stressful situation, i.e. cortisone.
Nicotine that causes momentary central nervous system stimulation can cause addiction and dependence.

How Smoking is Harmful For Your Health?

Marriages very well might be bonds made in heaven, but for all practical reasons, they remain enacted on earth. When two different people meet, it s the union of two different mind-cultures too. It contains two diverse goals, two different habits of living, dissimilar aspirations & overall different priorities, that needs to be fused to restart a new common journey.

"To know themselves in order to discover the other  is the key here. Most relationships will get strained at some time, resulting in a failure to function optimally and produce self-reinforcing, maladaptive patterns. These patterns may be called "negative interaction cycles".

There are many possible reasons for this, including insecure attachment, ego, arrogance, jealousy, anger, greed, poor communication/understanding or problem-solving, ill health, third parties and so on. Changes in situations like financial state, physical health, and the influence of other family members can have a profound influence on the conduct, responses, and actions of the individuals in a relationship. Marriages require the maximum efforts from both the individuals.

Given the growing concept of individualism and personal independence, people fail to put in or sometimes understand the requirement of working towards their marriage, leaving them searching for an escape route as soon as the going gets tough. Marital issues may lead to major individual psychological problems with each partner trying to hurt the other emotionally as the relationship gets bitter.

Consequently, divorce rates in this country have shown a considerable increase in the past decade. This article should help you figure out some of the ways to save and improve the bond that is marriage while keeping the importance of individualism and personal space in mind-

Teamwork: It is essential for both the individuals to work towards their marriage and show equal commitment. With only one person trying to build a better relationship while the other one shows minimal effort and goes astray reduces the sense of belongingness; eventually leading to estrangement.

Take Responsibility: Apologize when it s your mistake and take responsibility for your actions, instead of going around in a continuous loop of the blame game.

Keep the Spark Alive: Take out time for each other whenever possible. A simple date night once in a while or a weekend getaway with undivided attention to the partner helps to keep the romance alive in long term relationships which more often than not fades away with time, without effort from the partners.

Appreciate: Appreciating the partner s efforts are probably the most important factor in any marriage. It avoids the individual feeling as though he/she has been taken for granted; which is the root cause of most marital problems.

Therapy: Marital therapy is usually beneficial when people are unable to deal with their differences within the marriage. Through marital counselling, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding and strengthening your relationship or going your separate ways. The therapist can help with many specific issues, including communication problems, sexual difficulties, conflicts about child rearing, intrusion from extended family, substance abuse, anger, and infidelity.

Marriage counselling might also be helpful in cases of domestic abuse. In a collectivist society like ours, family therapy is usually used because the families of both partners play a major role in their lives. Family therapy is a type of psychological counselling (psychotherapy) that can help family members improve communication and resolve conflicts.

Marriage - How To Strengthen It?

If someone in your family or your partner is suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, your mental health is at stake too. You will have to take care of yourself and your emotional needs first. Life can be frustrating for you all the time. But, you need to identify your  feel good  activities and take some time out of your daily life to relax and calm down. Remember, you can succeed in the critical task of appeasing or pleasing your dear one with BPD, only when you are at peace with yourself first. Destress yourself to fight back the depression or emotional drainage caused by handling a BPD patient.

Here are few things that can help you have a better life while being in a relationship with a person suffering from BPD:

1. Don t isolate yourself: You must be in touch with people you like to be with. You need emotional support from friends and family to deal with life. Spending some quality time with friends and family members can add little happiness to your life. It will boost up your energy level to fight back the dark side of life. You must remember that you have a life as well.

2. Take care of your health: Sometimes, relatives of BPD patients forget to take care of their physical health. They forget basic stuffs like having proper meals, exercising, etc just because they are caught-up in a stressful relationship. But, remember you can help your loved one better only when you are physically fit.

3. Manage stress: Don t get anxious or depressed with the ongoing stress in your life. It will only add to your existing problems. Keep your nerves cool to have a better life for yourself as well as your sweetheart with BPD.

4. Believe in the 3c s formula: Well, it is a formula recommended by most of the mental health practitioners. Don t blame yourself for the irrational behaviour of your friend or dear one. The patient with BPD is solely responsible for his or her destructive behaviour or abnormal outburst. You will have to remember these 3c s: I didn't cause it; I can't cure it; and I can't control it.

5. Careful communication: You have to be very careful while communicating with BPD patients. Don t argue or try to convince them, when they are already in a disturbed frame of mind or agitated. They might end up getting destructive. Listen to their words carefully and patiently. Occasional nodding in between a conversation is advisable to let them feel assured about the fact that they are being heard and understood.

Don t forget to acknowledge their feelings. It is also important that you stay calm when the patient is angry and has turned destructive.

How to Deal with a Person Suffering from Borderline Personality?

Sadly, millions of people around the world attempt to commit suicide every day. This can be defined as the act of purposefully taking one s life. There can be many causes for a person to take this extreme step but in most cases, the person gives out warning signs before committing suicide. It is important for us as family and friends to look out for these signs and protect our loved ones.

Social withdrawal: When a person loses interest in things he or she likes to do normally or starts keeping a distance from others, it may be cause for concern. Social withdrawal is one of the most common symptoms of depression. Depression could in many cases trigger suicidal thoughts.
Focus on death: People having suicidal thoughts may talk openly about death and wanting to die. Do not take this lightly. In other cases, they may be fixated on death and begin researching various ways to take their life. This could also take the form of buying a gun, sleeping pills or a sharp knife.
Despair: Nobody likes listening to others crib but in many cases, this may be a way for a depressed person to seek help. Many people commit suicide not to end their lives but to end the physical or emotional pain they are suffering from.
Making Plans: People thinking of committing suicide may begin drafting suicide notes or start making plans to get rid of their belongings. This could be in the form of a sudden garage sale or drawing up a will.
Reckless behavior: People who are depressed and contemplating suicide may show signs of reckless behavior as they think they have nothing to lose. They could start drinking excessively or doing drugs or even have unprotected sexual intercourse. Drugs and alcohol could also be a way for them to lessen their pain. Driving under the influence or driving too fast could also be a sign to look out for.
How can you help?
If you do notice something strange, do not ignore it. Try talking to the person and help them express their frustration in words. Find ways for them to meet more people and do something different. You should also encourage the person to talk to a professional mental health care expert. If you are in a situation where someone threatens suicide, do not leave them alone. Try to calm them down and call for help immediately.

How To Identify Suicidal Behaviour?

Drug addiction is an addiction of a very severe kind. This causes the sufferer i. E. The drug addict to seek and use drugs compulsively despite the destructive consequences to themselves and those around them. This is known as a chronic brain disease because of the functional and structural changes it causes in the brain. It is the overpowering dependence on illegal or legal medications and drugs. One cannot quit taking drugs just by strong will or good intentions. Ayurveda's holistic method combines exercises, meditation, and herbal medicines to cure addiction towards drugs.

Ayurvedic remedies:

Panchakarma therapies-only an ayurvedic expert should perform the panchakarma therapies and rituals on you. It promotes cleanliness and helps in detoxifying the body. These therapies are done using various herbs and oils in accordance with the ancient traditions to eliminate negative conditions.
Virechana-it is the most useful panchakarma therapy to treat addiction. Virechana is known to cleanse the gastro-intestinal tract and purify the blood of toxins of a period of a few days. It helps decontaminate your spleen, stomach, liver, kidneys, colon, intestines and sweat glands through varied herbs and laxatives such as castor oil, mango juice, raisins, cow's milk, psyllium seeds, flaxseed husk, prune and senna.
Rasayana therapies-rasayana therapy is another very useful ayurvedic treatment for treating drug abuse and addiction. It is based upon the transmutation and conservation of energy to improve the mental as well as physical characteristics in order to increase your body's natural metabolic processes while enhancing your immune system and brain function. Rasayana therapy consists of intricate face, head and full body massages which are combined with medicated creams and herb oils. This therapy is also useful to remove artificial aging which occurs due to prolonged drug abuse.
Yoga-the chaotic chemicals are known to wreak havoc on the drug addict's brain during the process of recovery. Resorting to exercise or yoga will help generate extra endorphins which are very helpful for clarity. To recover from drug addiction, you must join a structured yoga class along with other ayurvedic therapies. Yoga is beneficial since it stimulates every part of your body without applying too much stress on any one part.

Ayurvedic Remedies for Drug Addiction

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