One of the most common personality disorders, BPD or borderline personality disorder often remains undiagnosed or repressed and gets passed off as mood swings or a volatile disposition. However this disorder is much more than just mood swings as it can seriously affect the quality of a person s life. The primary manifestation of this disorder is in the way you think about yourself and others which result in the work that you need to do on a daily basis.

How does BPD manifest in your life?
The most common ways Borderline personality disorder can manifest in your life is with extreme mood swings or emotions, a discernable pattern in relationships becoming unstable after sometime, impulsive behavior, and a self image which is distorted. BPD thus affects how you view yourself, how you feel about others and you resultant behavior in general. Some of the typical signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder are mentioned below.

Persistent feelings of emptiness

Anger in inappropriate or unnecessary places, losing your temper very frequently, resulting in physical fights
Fearing abandonment intensely, whether it is real or imagined and thus going huge lengths to stop it from happening
Extreme instability in relationships which may cause a partner to be liked one moment and then hated the next
People with BPD also tend to be suicidal which is often caused by the fear of rejection or separation
Engaging in risky and impulsive behaviors such as
Engaging in unsafe sex despite being aware of the implications
Splurging money on gambling
Leaving a good job suddenly
A tendency to indulge in drugs
Binge eating
Reckless driving
Suddenly terminating a healthy and positive relationship
Sudden changes in values and self-identity and goals and feeling low about yourself as a result
Causes of Borderline personality disorder
In most cases borderline personality disorder can t be exactly attributed to a single cause and in most cases, is a combination of factors. While genetic or hereditary predisposition can cause BPD it may also be triggered by other factors. Also, not curbing mal-traits in young children or encouraging such behaviors may lead to BPD as they grow up. Some of the factors that contribute to BPD are

Genetics
Abnormalities in the brain
Childhood incidents which were stressful
Personality traits which have worsened
If you think you have been displaying some of the symptoms for a fairly prolonged period, it is advisable that you visit a mental health professional for counseling and start with therapy as advised by them.

Borderline Personality Disorder - How It Manifests In Your Life?

How to brush off stress from your life

Current lifestyle is such that stress becomes inevitable. But you might be aware how disastrous stress can be, it does take control of our lives. What one needs to consciously do is, take steps to address the stress that they are under. 
Here are simple and effective ways to do it.

1) indulge in physical activities - most of us have sedentary lifestyles which add to stress. While indulging in workouts won't take away your stress, what will happen is that there will be clarity in your thoughts, and your emotional intensity will come down, calming you.
2) believe every problem has a solution - it is easy to be scared of the problem and let it take control of your mind &amp; your life. Take control of them. Try to actively address your problem and look for solutions. When you act towards solving your problem, irrespective of the solution, your mind has more positive in it than stress.
3) give it away - meet people, socialize, and connect with other lives. This is actually going to solve half your problem. Not only will more things occupy your mind, and you will know of other people's problems too, but at times, sharing your stress problem warranties a quick solution!
4) treasure yourself - take some time for yourself and do what you love to do the most. Go to the spa, go shopping, read or just sleep. But make sure you have time away from work and daily chores, where you can rejuvenate your sense by doing what makes you the happiest. If nothing, meet up with friends.
5) indulge in volunteering work - helping others not only preoccupies your mind with problems of others rather than staying immersed in your own, but also helps you be more resilient. You will come out stronger and with more will to address your own issues.
6) try to stay positive all the time - appreciate what you have rather than concentrate on what you don't. Be thankful.
7) accept what you cannot change - however much we try to solve our problems, some things we cannot resolve right at the time. And there is no point in pondering over them. Accept that this is how things will be, and move on.

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How To Brush Off Stress From Your Life

Can true love happen more than once?

The world revolves around love. Our movies, books, stories, ambitions, desires, anything and everything, is guided by the magical power of love. Shahrukh khan famously said in his movie kuch kuch hota hai, that 'love can only happen once'. Is that true or, can true love happen more than once?

The question occurs more often than not when someone is going through a breakup, or when people wait and stay single, guided by the belief that there is only one perfect person for everyone, who would give them a happily ever after.

Let's see what truth really is.

There is no set algorithm or formula to say how many partners one can actually sustain in a lifetime. That depends on the idea of love individually for different people. Some people after a failed relationship give up the fight, and give up on the idea of love too, thinking that they had gotten once chance, and they blew it. While on the other hand, some people move on from one relationship to another, investing equally in every relationship, and never losing hope on finding their happiness.

The notion of just one love per lifetime may have been imbibed in us by the society that promotes monogamy. Insisting that it is morally correct for a couple to always stand by each other, no matter how incompatible they may be.

But the more pressing reason for the above notion is fear. The fear of falling in love again, and losing at it again, stops many people from even considering that as an option. There is a comfort in thinking that you tried your hand at love, but failed, and thus, never trying again will never let you suffer from the inexplicable pain that the failed love left you with.

However, we as humans, having the ability to connect with our family and friends, are designed to love more than one person in our lives. So it is clear that we are capable of falling in love again. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and truly so.

There are many people out there who you will be able to connect with, feel immensely happy around, and feel at home with. The thought that there is only one perfect person for everyone is not just restrictive, but also unhealthy. If you feel too damaged to love again or too scared to love even for the first time, try to look at the feeling logically than emotionally. Try to assess your compatibility with the person; see if your interests match, see what differentiates you both that'll help you both grow; see if you are able to picture a future with them, and so on.

Sometimes our past baggage or our fears clog our judgment. We all deserve second chances in life, and hence, we deserve a second, or even a third or fourth chance at love. So, do not stop at one failed relationship. Go out and seek love again in a person who is able to provide you with a more fulfilling and emotionally satisfying relationship.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.

Is Shahrukh correct when he says 'Love can happen only once'?

Addiction not only includes physical things we consume, such as drugs or alcohol, but also includes virtually anything, such abstract things as gambling to seemingly harmless products, such as chocolate, etc. In other words, addiction may refer to a substance dependence (e. G. Drug addiction) or behavioral addiction (e. G. Gambling addiction).

Causes

There is a link between the repeated uses of an addictive substance and how the human brain experience pleasure, its use has a nice reward, leading to further and more frequent use. The addictive substance, be it nicotine, alcohol or some drug actually causes physical changes in some nerve cells in the brain. After a while, the user of the potentially addictive substance does not get the same pleasure and has to increase the dose, as his/her body's tolerance to it increases. Eventually, the user no longer experiences pleasure from the substance and takes it simply to prevent withdrawal symptoms taking the substance just makes them feel normal. When tolerance increases, the risk of addiction is much greater.

Signs and symptoms

A person starts to show symptoms when a person takes the substance, such as nicotine, alcohol etc. And has given a serious attempt to stop, but is unable to do so because of the withdrawal symptoms. The body of an addict will go in withdrawal state when once the level of the substance abused is below a certain level. When a person goes in withdrawal state it will show signs, such as craving, bouts of moodiness, bad temper, poor focus, extreme temperament, poor focus, continuous feeling of depression, emptiness, frustration, anger, bitterness and resentment. Apart from these the addict will also display symptoms such as increased appetite, insomnia, constipation, and diarrhea. Withdrawal caused by some substances can also trigger signs like violence, seizures, hallucination, sweating and trembling, etc. However, the addiction continues despite health problem awareness. An addicted person commonly feels they need their drug in order to deal with their problems.

Investigation of addiction

Blood test is advised to determine whether the substance is still in the blood (whether the substance has been taken recently). Dsm criteria for substance dependence that is a patient diagnosed with substance dependence (an addiction) must meet criteria laid out in the dsm (diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders), a manual published by the american psychiatric association.

What you can do?

Acknowledge the problem and consult for help from an expert. Family members must be supportive in creating a congenial environment for the addicted person.

Role of homeopathy in management of addiction

The first step for the addicted person is to acknowledge that there is a substance dependency problem (addiction problem). The next step is to get help. In most of the world there are several support groups and professional services available. Treatment options for addiction depend on several factors, including what type of substance it is and how it affects the patients. Typically, treatment includes a combination of inpatient and outpatient programs, counselling (psychotherapy), self-help groups, pairing with individual sponsors, and medication.

Talking of medication, homoeopathy definitely has a major role to play in the de-addiction journey of a'patient. Over the years it has been seen that homeopathy has produced tremendous results in such cases. People have approached for quitting alcohol, smoking, drugs, etc. And majority of them have been wonderfully helped by homoeopathy. Those who haven't achieved desirable results have either lacked willingness or conviction on their own part, or have had a non-congenial and non-co-operative environment at home and work place. For any de-addiction plan to be successful for a patient these 2 factors are the most important. A willing person with a co-operative and supportive environment is much more receptive and responsive to the medical treatment.

The commonest attacking area for any addictive substance is the central nervous system (cns). The substance inhibits the release of neurotransmitters, which are responsible for carrying nerve impulses. Once these neurotransmitters are inhibited in their normal functioning, a person develops delayed nervous responses and irregular nerve impulses leading to addiction. It is a vicious circle. So, as the centre of attack is the cns, a medical system that boosts and strengthens the cns would automatically prove beneficial in such dreadful cases. Homoeopathy is that very medical science! the homoeopathic medicines are absorbed through the nerve root endings of the tongue and directly hit the cns. There are some very powerful homoeopathic medicines, which have the ability to shake up the cns and work in a normal manner as it is used to be. These homoeopathic medicines, thus have the ability to develop control and also the power to abstain from the substance in later stages of the treatment.

But the first and foremost attempt is made to manage the withdrawal symptoms. It is the fear of the withdrawal symptoms only that a patient may lose conviction and confidence in him and give in to the indulgence once again. This is where the role of family and friends also comes in. When the struggle of 1 man becomes fight for the whole team; chances are very high of coming out victorious. There are brilliant medicines in homoeopathic science, which can help the person in managing and fighting with the withdrawal symptoms with ease. Medicines like nux vomica, kali phos, arsenic album, coffea cruda, aconite, gelsemium, argentum nitricum, ipecac, acid sulphurosum, caladium, daphna indica, quercus, etc. Have proved to be extremely effective in helping a person wean off completely of the addictive substances.

Mind the mind

Over the past two issues, we took up the burning problem of addiction as a mental illness, explored its, nature and probable causes that go into the making of an addict. The current issue is aimed at spreading awareness about the available evidence based psychological treatments for de-addiction.

1. Psychotherapy: also called as'talk therapy, is aimed at helping the patient to understand the link between their thoughts, feelings and behaviour so that the maladaptive ones can be replaced with more adaptive and productive processes. Interventions in terms of cognitive behaviour therapy (cbt), motivation enhancement therapy (met) and behaviour therapy are efficient in the treatment of addiction behaviour.

2. Craving control: use of certain medicines and behavioural techniques can help a person deal with the intense feelings of craving when it seems too much to bear. It gives a sense of greater control to the person over the substance, which in turn motivates him/her to stay away from using the substance. Many people report that they tend to continue the abuse the substance since they are unable to handle the period of intense craving, which can come all of a sudden.

3. Relapse prevention: arguably it is the most important component of de-addiction program. Leaving the substance is not that hard, but staying away from it is the most difficult part as reported by many patients with addiction. To ensure that the person stays clean and healthy without the substance, they are taught some techniques like asking for help whenever they feel the need to do the substance or staying away from potentially, dangerous situations, like going to party where alcohol is available. With therapy, the individual gains more confidence in his/her own abilities rather than depending on the substance for facing life situations. In addition to this, they also start enjoying their life without the substance. Both the patient and his/her family play an important part in this process hence they are educated about it and are advised regarding appropriate ways of ensuring sobriety for the patient.

4. Alcoholics anonymous (aa): it is a self-hellp group in which ex-alcoholics come together and share their experiences, for instance how they got into drinking, how it affected their life and now how they are maintaining their sobriety. These are mostly weekly sessions and have been found to be very effective in supporting the recovery of alcoholics to stay motivated and be clean without the use of alcohol. Similar to aa, there is na (narcotics anonymous for drug addicts) and al-anon (for the family members and friends of problem drinkers).

5. Yoga and exercise: a healthy daily routine with yoga or regular exercise promotes feelings of general well-being and ensures healthy mind and body. It detoxifies the body faster and even helps in recovering from the damage caused due to excessive substance use.

6. Social skill training: an important aspect for being away from drugs/alcohol is the ability to say no to such offers from others. Assertive behaviour, healthy communication pattern and good problem solving ability are skills that are taught to assist the person to stay healthy without feeling the need to take the substance.

One of the simplest, yet very powerful principles of staying healthy is'one day at a time! instead of making any long-term plans for staying sober, which might seem over-whelming and extremely difficult, just plan for that very day and decide to be clean without the substance.

Addiction: Signs and Symptoms

Bipolar mood disorder, otherwise called manic depressive disorder or manic depression, is a genuine and serious mental problem. It is a disorder that can lead to unsafe conduct, damaged relations and career, and even self-destructive inclinations if it is not treated properly and on time.

Bipolar disorder is portrayed by outrageous changes in the state of mind, from mania to depression. Between these mood swings, a man with bipolar disorder may encounter normal moods as well. Here is how it can affect a relationship:

Bipolar disorder can turn into an issue from the very begin of a relationship. Exploring any sentimental relationship - whether it is dating or marriage - can be a risky attempt. Including bipolar disorder with its crazy ride of feelings in with the general problems in a relationship, and connections can turn out to be all the more difficult.
However, not everybody with bipolar disorder encounters the state of mood swings of depression and mania, but when those scenes do happen, they can destroy a relationship.
During the hyper stage, a person can lose his or her feeling of judgment. That implies spending all their money carelessly, breaking rules, and taking part in dangerous practices like medication and liquor abuse. When you have a partner with the bipolar issue who gets into a hyper stage, it can be extremely harmful to a great degree for the relationship since they might do things that hurt you or may trouble you financially.
Any number of things, from work problems to financial issues, can lead to fights and put a strain on a marriage. However, if one of the partners has a bipolar disorder, simple stressors can trigger their mood swings. That might be the reason why around ninety percent of the relations and marriages with a bipolar partner, fail.
Having a relationship when you live with bipolar disorder is troublesome. Nevertheless, it can surely be dealt with. It takes the efforts of both the partners to make it work.
The initial step is to get diagnosed and treated for your condition. Your specialist can give you hormone balancing drugs, for example, Lithium, with antidepressants to control your symptoms. Treatment with a clinician or psychologist is additionally vital. With treatment, you can figure out how to control the practices that are putting pressure on your relationship.

Here are a couple of different approaches to alleviate a portion of the weight on your relationship:

Take your medicine as recommended
Take a marriage education and counselling class
Manage your stress in different ways whether it is writing in a diary, taking long strolls, or listening to music
Attempt to adjust work with more calming exercises
Adhere to a customary rest cycle
Eat healthy and exercise frequently
Maintain distance from liquor and caffeine

Bipolar Mood disorder - Is It Hampering Your Relationship?

Alcohol addiction commonly known as alcoholism is a fairly common problem that has shown to affect people from every walk of life. Scientists have tried to pinpoint the absolute cause behind alcoholism, but to no success. Certain factors like sex, genetic, and socioeconomic factors have shown to have some effect on alcoholism. The cause of alcoholism is never singular. Alcohol addiction is indeed a disease, where a person may not have full control over his actions and is seen to change the neurochemistry of the brain.

The symptoms of alcohol addiction can be seen in many ways and the severity of the situation varies from person to person. Other factors such as the frequency of consumption may also be specific. While some people are heavy drinkers and drink throughout the day; others may drink occasionally and remain sober for a few days.

A person who is dependent on alcohol will prioritise drinking over other essential activities and will eventually cause disruption in his social life, work or other areas of his life. It can also create a negative effect in the victim s life along with their families and their near and dear ones.

What are the signs of alcohol addiction and alcohol abuse?
The signs and symptoms of alcoholism or addiction are rather conspicuous. Since drinking alcohol is common in social events in most cultures around the world, it becomes difficult to recognise when someone is addicted to alcohol, unlike drugs like cocaine and heroin.

The physical signs of alcohol abuse include:

Loss of control over the quantity of alcohol consumed.
Lack of adequate sleep, followed by overcompensation for sleep.
Expression of anger and other negative behaviours my increase in inappropriate places and situations.
Lack of proper attention towards the priorities in life.
How does alcohol affect the body?
Chronic abuse of alcohol can have negative effects on almost every part of your body and plays havoc in your system. Alcohol is liable to cause irreversible damage to several organs of the body which is vital for sustenance:

Nervous system
Stomach or Intestines
Liver
Heart
Brain
Alcoholism in itself can lead to several diseases like:

High blood pressure
Cancer
Increased incidences of osteoporosis, especially in women
Sexual issues

Alcohol - How Over Consumption Affects Your Body?

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