Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a type of personality disorder characterized by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image and behaviour. This often results in impulsive actions and problems in relationships and at work. You may experience intense episodes of various emotions like anger, depression and anxiety that may last for a few hours to a few days.

Diagnosis of BPD
If you experience the following 10 symptoms for a long time or if they have had a huge impact on your daily life, you may say that you are suffering from BPD:

Feeling of being abandoned. You feel that people may abandon you and are constantly worried about that. You would do anything to stop it.
Frequent mood swings. You experience intense emotions that last from a few hours to a few days. E.g. You suddenly start feeling low and depressed after feeling very happy and confident for a while.
Lack of identity. You don t know who you are and do not have a strong sense of your being.
Unable to sustain relationships. You find it very hard to retain relationships and make new ones.
You feel empty from within all the time.
Make impulsive decisions and show sudden reactions. You do things to harm yourself like binge eating, drug abuse or driving dangerously.
You inflict pain on yourself or have suicidal feelings.
You have anger issues which are very difficult to control.
You get paranoid or dissociate when you re stressed.
You experience all your emotions very intensely be it anger, happiness or sadness.
Self-Care - How can you help yourself?
If you start feeling overwhelmed, focus on one feeling at a time. It will help channelize your energy and thoughts into finding a solution for that emotion. Different therapies help different people at different times. You are the best judge to decide what benefits you the most.

Follow these tips to get through the various emotions that you may experience.

When you are angry and frustrated
Rip a newspaper
Hit a pillow
Listen to your favourite music
Go for a walk or do some vigorous exercise
When you are depressed and lonely
Wrap yourself in a blanket and watch your favourite movie or TV show.
Write all the negative feelings on a piece of paper and tear the paper.
Use positive affirmations to comfort yourself.
Cuddle a pillow/pet/soft toy
When you are tensed and anxious 
Try to shift your focus to something else like music, yoga or meditation.
Take a deep breath, use relaxation techniques and focus on your breaths.
Take a warm bath to help soothe your mood.
When you want to harm yourself
Rub ice over the parts where you want to hurt yourself.
Take a cold-water bath to cool yourself.



Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - Tips To Help You Diagnose The Problem!

Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

There are days when you wake up but you don’t want to move out of the bed. When your alarm goes off and you open your eyes feeling groggy and disoriented.Times when you accept defeat and stop moving towards what you want to achieve in life. These are just indicators of being low on motivation and lacking will power to chnage things. It’s more psychological than physical. Follow these simple tips, to come out of your cocoon and boost your willpower. 

Try these four ways to up your willpower.

1) Meditate - Meditation is the key to unleashing your powers, especially willpower. Practicing mindfulness, even for few minutes a day can help in boosting your willpower.

2) Exercise - The magic pill of exercise is another best way to boost your willpower. It is recommended that you exercise for 30 minutes, at least three times a week to ensure that you feel fitter, reduce your anxiety levels and boost your overall willpower to achieve bigger and better things in life.

3) Hold yourself accountable - That’s one of the best ways to boost your willpower. If you hold yourself accountable in your own life, if you know that those reasons of not getting out of the bed are mere excuses, then you would certainly increase your willpower.

4) Set Goals - One of the reasons why people experience a faltering in their will power is the fact that they don’t set their goals. Setting definitive targets is a must.You must ensure that the goal is set with measurable quantities, is specific, attainable, relevant and timely. All of this will certainly help you in enhancing your willpower.

If you have any further questions, ask me by clicking on 'consult'.

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Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

Drug addiction is one of the social menaces and in most people, what starts off as a result of peer pressure and trying to be cool ends up affecting lives significantly. It is not just social, but also affects financial, physical, emotional, and social well-being. The small periods of happiness given by the drug is followed by months and years of torment.

The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) has identified that drug addiction causes chemical and structural changes in the brain, leading to dangerous and self-destructive behaviours. The brain s response to stimulus like pleasure, joy, happiness, and pain are altered with constant drug abuse. For instance, the neurotransmitter called dopamine, which makes one feel good, is usually produced by the brain in small amounts. However, drugs increase this level to 2 to 10 times more, making the person feel extremely high and happy. Since the body is unable to reach the highest level of happiness on its own, the dependency on these drugs to feel good increases.

Repeated use of the drugs leads to increased dependency, wherein the brain refuses to feel good without reaching those high levels of dopamine. The issue is mostly seen in teenagers and young adults but can be seen in any age group.

October 2 is recognised as National Anti-Drug Addiction Day and nationwide campaigns and drives are done to help people overcome addiction. One of the main reasons a drive this size is required is because of the social stigma attached to the problem. Most families shun away from recognising it as a problem that can be easily treated, and so the affected person is sucked deeper into the problem.

Overcoming addiction: One of the main success factors for treating addiction is for the affected person to recognise that he or she is addicted and needs to get rid of the problem.

    There are national toll-free helplines that are set up, which can guide through the whole program. This way, if required, anonymity is maintained and support for overcoming addiction is increased.
    It involves a group effort involving the affected person, family and friends, medical and clinical personnel, and counsellors in some cases.
    Cognitive behavioural therapy: The person is made conscious of the change in behaviour and the way drugs affect it. Healthier patterns to be happy and joyful are discussed.
    In most cases, the underlying reason for reaching out to drugs needs to be addressed also to prevent relapse.
    Group therapies where the person makes friends who have faced similar issues and overcome the problem. This increases their accountability and commitment to getting rid of the problem.

Drug abuse is a national social menace and needs more free admittance and management.

National Anti-Drug Addiction Day - Overcoming Addiction

A cup of coffee or tea is not just enough to keep you alert throughout the day. They might be good for an early morning kick off. But you need a lot more in your diet to increase your concentration power.

Here s a list of food items that work wonders in gifting you a focused mind:

Coconut Oil: When it comes to your brain, coconut oil full of benefits, too. Coconut oil works as a natural anti-inflammatory, suppressing cells responsible for inflammation. It can help with memory loss as you age and destroy bad bacteria that hangs out in your gut.
Dark Chocolate: It has been found that dark chocolate boosts the production of serotonin and endorphin. These are essential for increasing concentration. Dark chocolates are also useful antioxidants and are rich in vitamins, and minerals, including potassium and copper. It is believed by many that regular intake of cocoa improves the blood supply to the brain and thus increases concentration power.
Blueberries: Are you fond of the tasty blueberries? There s good news for you then. Blueberries are not just good for taste, they are memory boosters. According to a study published in 2010 in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry, it has been found that people, who drank blueberry juice daily for two months, ended up having improved memory and concentration power.
Egg Yolks: Yolks contain large amounts of choline, which helps in fetal brain development for pregnant women. It also breaks down bethane, a chemical that produces hormones related to happiness. That s right, eggs can make you happy! If you ve kept away from eating eggs whole because of cholesterol concerns, there s good news. Studies show that eating eggs had no effect on the cholesterol levels of healthy adults and might, in fact, help raise good cholesterol levels. 
Walnuts: It turns out that eating walnuts can keep you from going nuts. Just munching on a few walnuts a day can improve your cognitive health. Their high levels of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals also improve mental alertness. The vitamin E in the nuts can also help ward off Alzheimer s. 
Salmon: Believe it or not, but salmon improves your memory and concentration to a great extent. It contains omega-3 fatty acids, which is needed for rebuilding brain cells. Omega-3 is also good for enhancing the synapses in the brain. 

Want Better Concentration - 6 Foods You Must Have!

Loss and grief are two unfortunate partners where the latter follows the former. While the type of grief or the nature of the loss may differ from person to person, there are five distinct stages of loss and grieloss and grief are two unfortunate partners where the latter follows the former. While the type of grief or the nature of the loss may differ from person to person, there are five distinct stages of loss and grief that all people universally go through, when faced with such a situation. Here are the five stages of this process and the different ways in which one can cope with each stage.

Denial and isolation:

In this phase, the patient usually ends up blocking out the words as well as the thoughts and reactions that surround this sad event, which can lead to a numbing action of the brain. While we all do this in some measure during such situations, some people take it especially hard by acting as if nothing has happened at all. If this phase does not come to pass within a short frame of time, then psychological and medical intervention may be required.

Anger:

When a person begins to acknowledge the loss, there is a sense of unfairness which can lead to frustration and anger that is basically the way the person may be dealing with the re-emergence of the pain and the fact that it is here to stay. Therapy and sedation may be required if this frustration and repeated spells of tantrums carries on for a prolonged period. Do not hesitate to talk things out rather than flaring up at this point, as the unchangeable has already happened.

Bargaining:

In this phase, desperation enters the mind of the patient where a lot of'what ifs' come up. The patient begins to question what if things had been done differently and other such aspects. If not dealt with in an engaging manner and with empathy, this phase can lead back to anger and frustration.

Depression:

Private mourning of the loss and regret to do with the practical aspects like loneliness and the cost of the loss can strike at this stage. Here, the patient must be made aware of rights as well as the people around him or her who can help out to prevent this depression from becoming a full-fledged condition.

Acceptance:

In this final stage, the patient becomes more accepting of this new reality. Yet, even this must be taken up cautiously as a grief stricken heart may lead to a variety of mental ailments in the long run.

The way to deal with these stages is with therapy and proper guidance where the patient is allowed to channel all the thoughts and anger before accepting the situation. Do not hesitate to ask for counselling and embrace the changes in your life without regret, guilt and depression. F that all people universally go through, when faced with such a situation. Here are the five stages of this process and the different ways in which one can cope with each stage.

Denial and isolation: 

In this phase, the patient usually ends up blocking out the words as well as the thoughts and reactions that surround this sad event, which can lead to a numbing action of the brain. While we all do this in some measure during such situations, some people take it especially hard by acting as if nothing has happened at all. If this phase does not come to pass within a short frame of time, then psychological and medical intervention may be required.

Anger:

When a person begins to acknowledge the loss, there is a sense of unfairness which can lead to frustration and anger that is basically the way the person may be dealing with the re-emergence of the pain and the fact that it is here to stay. Therapy and sedation may be required if this frustration and repeated spells of tantrums carries on for a prolonged period. Do not hesitate to talk things out rather than flaring up at this point, as the unchangeable has already happened.

Bargaining:

In this phase, desperation enters the mind of the patient where a lot of'what ifs' come up. The patient begins to question what if things had been done differently and other such aspects. If not dealt with in an engaging manner and with empathy, this phase can lead back to anger and frustration.

Depression: 

Private mourning of the loss and regret to do with the practical aspects like loneliness and the cost of the loss can strike at this stage. Here, the patient must be made aware of rights as well as the people around him or her who can help out to prevent this depression from becoming a full-fledged condition.

Acceptance:

In this final stage, the patient becomes more accepting of this new reality. Yet, even this must be taken up cautiously as a grief stricken heart may lead to a variety of mental ailments in the long run.

The way to deal with these stages is with therapy and proper guidance where the patient is allowed to channel all the thoughts and anger before accepting the situation. Do not hesitate to ask for counselling and embrace the changes in your life without regret, guilt and depression.

Coping with Grief and Loss: The Five Stages

Depression is spreading at a fast pace in modern India due to many reasons like poor diet, lifestyles, poor social support system and having too many unrealistic expectations from themselves and other people in their lives. It can affect the rich and the poor and any age group also. According to World Health Organisation, 1 in every 10 people suffer from depression. Due to the social stigma attached to it, most people remain undiagnosed and hence suffer from it silently. This is a huge waste of human potential and capability. Some common symptoms of Depression include:

Appetite loss or an increased hunger,
Insomnia or Oversleeping,
Pervading feelings of worthlessness, helplessness and hopelessness,
Anger and Irritability,
Intense physical, emotional and mental fatigue,
Self hatred for making mistakes and not coming up to the expectations of self or other people
Risky Behaviour like rash driving, addictions, dangerous sports,
Problems in Concentration, Memorising and Focussing
Unexplained aches and pains, stomach-aches, Back pain or Headaches
Sudden loss of Interest in Daily Activities, Hobbies. Work
Suicidal Thoughts or Attempts

Here are some basic tips to beat the blues.

Recognising and Conquering Self Criticising Inner Voice:
You would have heard this harsh voice which often reprimands you for making mistakes, or doing something silly or taking any risks. Often this voice would have said, "Its always your fault"," You are capable of nothing"," You are always making mistakes", "Only bad things have happened in my life", " My life is Over". These are called self destructive negative thoughts which can interfere and distract you from your daily activities and a general sense of confidence, power, wellbeing and balance. Depressed people often associate themselves with a negative image of self and of the world, which is very incapacitating and makes the person feel guilty, angry, worthless, hopeless and helpless. The trick is to combat this inner thinking process with evidence to disprove it and support the evidence with logical and rational reasoning and seeing the whole picture with its positives rather than focussing on the negative parts only. For eg.."Good things have also happened in my marriage"," I can learn from my mistakes and do things differently next time"," I have achieved many things in life so I am capable and intelligent"," Life is not over yet, there is hope because I am still alive". such statements are compassionate and help in restoring lost confidence, faith and hope which is vital to beat depression blues.

Be Active:
During depression, physical energy takes a beating as a person goes through an emotionally low phase. People who don't exercise regularly are more prone to depression as the body and mind lacks in blood circulation and "feel good" neuro chemicals called Endorphins. When you are feeling down in the dumps, exercising, yoga, gym, cycling, aerobics, dance can help in elevating the heart rate and thus increasing the blood circulation and elevating the moods. Cycling to work, using the stairs, walking just a little bit as a  daily small goal can be beneficial as energy levels can be very low in depression. Getting the sun on the back bone which carries many nerves is also important and helps in chemical synthesis in combating depression.

Be Social:
Man is a social animal by evolutionary process. We tend to feel better in harmonious social communities for our social and psychological wellbeing. Identify people who are well meaning and supportive of your condition. Don't withdraw from the society, thought hat may be the easiest and logical thing to do in depression. Meeting people with similar interests as yours, people who value you for who you are and some people who are funny and can make you laugh will be of immense importance for boosting your self esteem and self worth. See if some one can benefit from your care..caring for others is a huge booster of self worth and self esteem. Having a pet and caring for it can be another activity that you can look into. Watching comedy shows, movies, laughing at your own mistakes or other people mistakes can be a wonderful way to look at life more objectively. Don't take yourself and other people too seriously..everyone makes mistakes and nobody is perfect.


By no means is this list complete. Please look around and find more tips that can help in beating the blues. If Depression is caught in its early stages then its completely curable. Please don't self diagnose and take medications. Get it diagnosed with a psychiatrist or a psychologist. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Stress management, Marital Counselling, Meditations and relaxation techniques, Spirituality are very powerful in dealing with depression too.

3 ways to combat depression

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