Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

You might be feeling that spending time on any social media network is a simple way to pass time and is a common habit. But a recent study by University of Chicago Booth School of Business says that social networking sites can be more addictive, than alcohol. The desire to consume alcohol can be controlled and turned down, but the desire to check Facebook is simply uncontrollable for most people, and it s a serious addiction.

About the study
The ground breaking study was done on 250 people in and around Germany aged between 18 and 85 years of age. They were sent messages at specific intervals to report their desires and cravings. It is found that most people had the desire to sleep and have sex during the day that they were able to control. But the desire for checking Facebook was much higher.

Reasons for Facebook addiction

One of the major reasons is that availability of Facebook is much easier and higher than alcohol availability.
Also, it is thought that the cost of checking Facebook is much less than consuming some amount of alcohol on a regular basis.
Even if a man wants to resist his desire, but due to easy availability and lesser cost, he is prone to use it again and again.
Alcohol consumption is prohibited in public and during office hours in many countries. But checking Facebook updates have no restrictions. People can check it whenever they feel the desire.
The most shocking part is the urges drove the people to such an extent, that they couldn t even resist themselves even if they wanted to do so.
Effects of Facebook addiction

Drainage of time: No matter how good we feel while checking Facebook updates, can you deny that it s simply a waste of time?
Self esteem reduced: When you see your peers enjoying their life with flying colors, no wonder you will feel depressed. But we are reluctant to believe this fact, that nobody shows his tragic part of life on Facebook. So, whom you think is the happiest person in the world, may be the saddest and is drowned in his own miseries.
Remedy of this so called addiction
The study says that when we are much worn out, we are unable to control our desire and our will power is depleted.

So, if you find yourself posting your status on Facebook at the midnight instead of sleeping, then it is high time you should try to come out of this addiction and give yourself a better life and health.

Facebook Vs Alcohol - Which Is More Addictive?

The brain is not a stagnant realm fed with a granted quota of intelligence and memory at birth. It is always in a state of flux. Exercising your brain in various ways accelerates its ability to perform better. It is in your hands to have a sharper take on situations and occurrences. Playing games that require brainstorming, solving quizzes, crosswords or playing chess makes you feel rejuvenated and tired at the same time; the reason being activated brain cells. A healthy brain will affect your life decisions positively and you probably will think rightly before you leap.

Tips to exercise those brain cells:

Meditate and calm your mind: Ten minutes of meditation each day can help you get over anxiety. When your mind is at peace you think out pros and cons with enhanced insight. This composure reflects in each of your actions. Meditation demands your brain to be quiet when it is accustomed to work; you therefore have greater control over it.
Music can improve your brain abilities: Music is the best antidote for a sloppy brain. Music excites the neurons healing a bruised memory. It gifts you with clarity of thought. Apart from listening to music one must try to play a musical instrument. Teaching yourself things puts your mind through a strict regimen of constructive activities.
Take out time to learn a new language: We are paralyzed the minute our brain gives up. Due to several external and internal reasons each one of us is likely to suffer from cognitive disorders on being subjected to extreme pressure or shock. Trying to learn a new language motivate your brain cells to have a wider vocabulary, which further restricts your chances of brain damage.  
Mental mathematics could better your intelligence: Calculators, computers and phones are ridding us of our ability to compute individual data. Computation and consolidation of data helps your mind to work faster with precision. So, you now know those lessons on mental mathematics in childhood were actually the key to a well rounded brain. 
Think of something novel: The more the number of neurons the merrier is your brain. Take pains to direct your mind on a novel track. Thinking beyond what is given and expected helps your brain grow new neurons. It builds up your creativity letting you discover more of your capabilities.

5 Tips To Help You Exercise Your Brain!

Problems with the arteries and veins present in the hands or legs can lead to vascular disorders. The arteries carry blood from the heart to other parts of the body in order to deliver nutrients and oxygen. The veins carry the blood back to the heart, after the nutrients have been used up. If these blood vessels of the arteries or veins become blocked or narrowed, it can lead to a vascular blockage.

A vascular blockage that occurs in the hands or legs comes under the category of Peripheral Artery Disease or PAD. These type of disorders are less common in the upper extremities of the arms or hands than in the lower extremities of legs. Few of the signs for the same are:

Pain and difficulty in movement due to decreased blood flow
Numbness or weakness of leg or fingertips
Sores on the toes or feet
If the blockage is deep, symptoms of redness, swelling, extreme pain or cramping can be experienced
Abnormal color changes in the fingertips
Ulcers or wounds that don t heal
Skin sensitivity problems when in cold temperatures
How can it be diagnosed?
The blockage can be detected by various methods namely-

Physical Examination   Your doctor may find decreased pulse at armpit, wrist or fingers, full veins, masses, wounds or gangrene.
Doppler or Ultrasound examination to determine the blood flow in the arteries and veins
MRI Scan of the affected area to pay special attention to the blood vessels
Cold Stress Test
Arteriography to show clear blood vessel details
Angiography to map blockages and narrowing of the arteries
What are the Risk Factors for Peripheral Artery Disease?
An individual is at risk for developing vascular blockages in the hands or legs if one or more of the following factors are present:

Smoking
Diabetes
Heredity Factors   A personal or family history of blood vessel disease
High blood pressure
High cholesterol
Aging   People aged above 50 years and older are more prone to vascular blockage
Can it be treated?
Treatments for vascular blockage can vary depending on the age, cause of the blockage, intensity and overall well-being.

Treatments can include:

Self-care   Reducing risk factors and making lifestyle changes to quit smoking, sedentary life or diabetes, blood pressure and cholesterol management can reverse symptoms of vascular disease.
Medications   A variety of drugs can be prescribed to lower the risk and progression of narrowing blood vessels or prevent blood clotting.
Interventional Procedures   Minimally invasive surgery like saloon angioplasty, stenting or removal of artery plaque build-up.
Surgery   If the blockage is severe, surgery may be performed to lessen the vessel narrowing, reconstruct the artery or tie it off, depending on the circumstances.

Pain in the Hands or Legs!

Is depression eating you up from within? are you facing severe emotional meltdown? emotional disturbances can ruin your life and this is why you have to look for the best preventive ways. You can have a consultation with any counsellor so that you can share your problems. Your counsellor will definitely help you to get some potential way out. 

Best ways for preventing emotional meltdown:

 Detecting the signs: the actual signs of emotional meltdown need to be detected and then only you can get rid of the same. Both your facial expressions and behavioural changes are to be observed carefully as these will help you to detect the signs. If you are remaining silent for most of the times, then there is something going on in your mind for sure. 
 Early intervention: you should rely on your intuition or sixth sense so that you can sense the troubles you are going to face. You should have a good observation power so that you can sense things easily. Remain quiet and calm so that you can take the right decisions. 
 Living well: you need to choose a completely healthy way of living, otherwise you will never get freedom from emotional troubles. Do not think much about past incidents, rather you should look forward so that you can go ahead. You should develop only positive mentality in order to discharge your duties in a perfect manner. Remain happy and keep everybody happy and then only you will be able to get the actual essence of life. Healthy eating and good habits are also needed so that your life can become more lively and refreshing. 
 Have proper communication: if you think that your friends or family members are pretty reliable, then you can openly communicate with them. This would help you to get mental relief and relaxation. If you open up your emotions and share them with anybody, then you will feel relaxed and your mind will be calm at all times. 
 Have counselling: it is not always possible to share all your secrets with your loved ones and this is the reason you have to look for the most reliable option. You can go for thorough counselling, and this can help you to get rid of depressing thoughts and other mental troubles. In this case, you have to look for the best counsellor in your locality so that you can disclose all your hidden secrets.

How to Prevent an Emotional Meltdown?

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is a psychological disorder where you feel compelled to perform irrational tasks in continuous patterns almost ritualistically. These compulsive thoughts may seem, upon examination that they are without any particular reason or rhyme. Naturally, a psychological disorder is not voluntary and people who suffer under this disorder don t voluntarily like to make their lives difficult contrary to some who would say  if you don t like it don t do it. 

It is not a simple matter, OCD can have a lot of underlying reasons which makes life even more difficult and wears you out. You still can t get over a particular thought until you have performed it a given number of times even if it harms your health and the relief is also short lived. For the naysayers who don t realise, how difficult life can be for people suffering from OCD here are a few reasons that you should consider:

Depression: People with OCD are also prone to suffering from depression. A sense of feeling like you are not like others, you see the world a little differently and obsessively repeat such compulsive lines of thought until it wears you out mentally. It is a side effect of OCD and deeply affects their lifestyle negatively.
Anxiety: When you have OCD you suffer from constant anxiety about things you may not have done that you must do or vice versa, or very intrusive thoughts that make you anxious wondering about the kind of person you are or becoming. It is a constant battle everyday trying not to repeatedly perform all the compulsive behaviours that may strike you and makes daily life immensely difficult.
Eating disorders: Suffering from OCD also affects your diet and food habits. You either start over eating or not eating enough resulting in huge amounts of weight gain or noticeable weight loss or just a fluctuation in weight.
Skin rashes: The outer manifestations of OCD are numerous. If you suffer from obsessive, washing of hands or clothes or any activity that requires constantly irritating your skin then you will develop rashes which will cause more anxiety in you. It s just a facet of OCD wherein you become obsessed with cleanliness and can t go without feeling anxious about the number of toxins surrounding you so you go about trying to almost sterilise yourself and end up damaging your skin.
Sleep disturbances: Your sleeping pattern gets affected if you can t build up a routine and then you can t sleep until it s a certain hour at a certain time of the day. Or if you suffer from paranoia then you are unable to sleep because you are actively worried about something or the other. Anxiety also contributes to restlessness.

5 Reasons Why OCD Makes Life Difficult!

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