Please suggest me how to tackle school refusal problem in my seven year old son. He is good at studies, sports and a very active child but does not want to go school. This problem has been there since he was going to nursery. He says he wants to be with mummy papa and doest not like school. Although he never complains about teachers.

Mr. Kaartik GuptaPsychologist4yrs exp

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Dear Lybrate user, School refusal is a very common phenomenon seen among young children. It is imperative to know the reason why your child refuses to go to the school. Does it happen everyday or only sometimes? How do you as parents respond to the child's refusal to go to school? How is the overall parent-child relationship, family environment and environment at school? Questions like these need to be asked for a better understanding of the whole situation. Hence, I advise you to meet a Clinical Psychologist in person along with your child and address the issue. - Till then, try and talk to your child as to why he/she refuses to go to school? Listen to your child patiently and acknowledge his/her feelings appropriately. Make him/her feel assured and understood through your discussion. - In addition to this, it is extremely important for the parents to maintain their calm and handle the situation properly when your child does not want to go to school. Instead of shouting at your child or even hitting him/her try to maintain your calm so that it does not aggravate the situation and negatively reinforce the problem behaviour. - Positively reinforce your child with a hug, a kiss or with something that he/she likes on the days when he/she goes to school. Make it clear to them that this is a reward that they have earned by going to school so that they also understand that getting these rewards is contingent/dependent on their school going behaviour. It will instil a sense of responsibility in your child for his/her behaviours and the consequences they get. - These need to be followed consistently and always fulfil your promises to the child. These are just some ways to handle it slightly better, for proper management consult a Clinical or Child Psychologist in person. Best wishes.  

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