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Mood Disorder Treatment Tips

Borderline Personality Disorder - How It Manifests In Your Life?

Ms. Sandhya C 89% (139 ratings)
M.Sc - Psychotherapy
Psychologist, Bangalore
Borderline Personality Disorder - How It Manifests In Your Life?

One of the most common personality disorders, BPD or borderline personality disorder often remains undiagnosed or repressed and gets passed off as mood swings or a volatile disposition. However this disorder is much more than just mood swings as it can seriously affect the quality of a person’s life. The primary manifestation of this disorder is in the way you think about yourself and others which result in the work that you need to do on a daily basis.

How does BPD manifest in your life?
The most common ways Borderline personality disorder can manifest in your life is with extreme mood swings or emotions, a discernable pattern in relationships becoming unstable after sometime, impulsive behavior, and a self–image which is distorted. BPD thus affects how you view yourself, how you feel about others and you resultant behavior in general. Some of the typical signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder are mentioned below.

Persistent feelings of emptiness

  1. Anger in inappropriate or unnecessary places, losing your temper very frequently, resulting in physical fights
  2. Fearing abandonment intensely, whether it is real or imagined and thus going huge lengths to stop it from happening
  3. Extreme instability in relationships which may cause a partner to be liked one moment and then hated the next
  4. People with BPD also tend to be suicidal which is often caused by the fear of rejection or separation
  5. Engaging in risky and impulsive behaviors such as
    • Engaging in unsafe sex despite being aware of the implications
    • Splurging money on gambling
    • Leaving a good job suddenly
    • A tendency to indulge in drugs
    • Binge eating
    • Reckless driving
    • Suddenly terminating a healthy and positive relationship
  6. Sudden changes in values and self-identity and goals and feeling low about yourself as a result

Causes of Borderline personality disorder
In most cases borderline personality disorder can’t be exactly attributed to a single cause and in most cases, is a combination of factors. While genetic or hereditary predisposition can cause BPD it may also be triggered by other factors. Also, not curbing mal-traits in young children or encouraging such behaviors may lead to BPD as they grow up. Some of the factors that contribute to BPD are

  • Genetics
  • Abnormalities in the brain
  • Childhood incidents which were stressful
  • Personality traits which have worsened

If you think you have been displaying some of the symptoms for a fairly prolonged period, it is advisable that you visit a mental health professional for counseling and start with therapy as advised by them. In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

Health Tip

Dr. A M Zulfiqar 90% (49 ratings)
MS - Orthopaedics
Orthopedist, Delhi
Health Tip
  • When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
  • Old but true saying. So, keep going so that in tough times of life, the life gets easy. Enjoy every moment whether happy or sad, because it's always like yesterday was not so bad.

Borderline Personality Disorder - How It Can Be Diagnosed?

Dr. Kalrav Mistry 90% (102 ratings)
MD - Psychiatry
Psychiatrist, Ahmedabad
Borderline Personality Disorder - How It Can Be Diagnosed?

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is such a disorder of personality that causes mood swings, self-esteem issues, impulsive behavior and recurrent self-harm behaviour. It is very difficult to lead a normal life with these varied psychological issues.

People suffering from BPD fear abandonment and loneliness. Yet, they have a tendency of showing mood swings, sudden emotional outburst or anger and hostility. This prevents them from having a long lasting relationship in life. It usually starts affecting the patient's life from early adulthood. It however seems to improve with age. The patient also has distorted self-image. He or she is unclear about what they want from life or what they are in reality. Even minor incidents can trigger intense reactions in people with BPD.

Symptoms of BPD:

  1. Disturbed self-image: People have self-esteem issues, they sometimes love or hate themselves or see themselves as evil. They have unclear goals, views, beliefs and often end up changing their friends, lovers, jobs, sexual identity frequently.
  2. Emotional instability: Intense feelings of rage, sorrow, anger, guilt and emptiness or loneliness are experienced by some sufferers of BPD. Extreme mood swings, lasting for a short span of time, are common in BPD. They may also have issues with their self-image where they cannot place themselves and don't know what they feel about themselves or who they are.
  3. Dysfunctional relationships: It is very difficult to maintain a normal relationship for people with personality disorder. They tend to have quick short-lived relationships and get put off very easily which leads to a lot of heartbreak. Suicidal tendencies and frequent self-harm behaviour like cutting skin using blades/ sharp objects are common. Drugs and alcohol abuse, eating disorders and sexual promiscuity are other forms of self-destructive behaviour commonly encountered in this population. Extreme aggression, delusions, transitional Psychotic states are other possible symptoms of BPD.

Causes for BPD:

  1. Usually it has been found by researchers that it occurs to patients who have had a disturbed childhood. Complex and unpleasant happenings in the childhood may leave a deep impact on the patient's personality, which comes back as a disorder in his or her early adulthood. From mental, physical to sexual abuse in the childhood can lead to this condition in adults.
  2. Besides, researchers have discovered recently that this illness has hereditary links. Some genes may be responsible for BPD. Improper functioning of the brain is also another factor. Especially, the portion of brain that controls emotions might not be functioning properly in co-ordination with other parts of it.

Diagnosis for BPD:

There is no particular clinical test that can diagnose BPD. It can be diagnosed by a series of interactive session with the patient by a psychiatrist.

Love and support from family and friends are crucial for patients suffering from this disease. Prolonged counseling sessions, therapies and the effort to break away from the chronic gloomy thoughts will definitely lead one to a better life.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

4374 people found this helpful

How To Be More Happy This New Year?

Mrs. Upasana Chaddha Vij 90% (102 ratings)
MA - Psychology, PhD Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
How To Be More Happy This New Year?

The 1st of January is a special day all over the world. It begins with exchanging New Year wishes, blessings, messages and phone calls with near and dear ones. When we wish each other, a HAPPY New Year, we hope for a joyous, fun-filled and peaceful 365 days for one another. It is important to ponder, as to what makes us happy and what keeps us happy. There have been numerous scientific studies in the field of positive psychology, which examines what leads to happiness. Being happy not only is a desirable state of mind but also is known to be associated with better physiological functioning and physical health.

People derive satisfaction from various sources, such as money, relationships, career, travel, basic comfort, possessing luxurious things, surprises etc. Though many of these things are a source of happiness, the same things at other times can become a source of stress, worry, and anxiety. So what leads to ultimate happiness? If we look around, we tend to find few people who are always happy, regardless of their situation or circumstances. It compels us to look at the characteristics of happy people that helps them to get over with any negative feeling or hurt or look beyond a hopeless situation to attain true happiness. Such people provide us with evidence that happiness is inherent within us, and its a choice that we make every moment to stay happy. 

Let us look at the characteristics of happy people and if you want to live a happier and more fulfilling life, try imbibing these characteristics.

  1. Gratitude: Happy people are grateful for all that they have in life. When you tend to appreciate all that you have instead of all that you don't have. You are a happier person as you fill your mind with your blessings and pay less attention to whats missing. Practice Gratitude. Each day, reflect upon 3 things that you could be grateful for. No matter how small or big it is.
  2. Experience over Possession: Happy people find happiness by being mindful of their experiences than acquiring possessions. If you have the money to spend, it is advised to spend it on experience than buying materialistic luxurious items. A vacation over an expensive smartphone will give you more happiness in the long-term. Experience gives you the opportunity to 'savor' your senses. We have heard, the cliche, " it's the little things that matter in life', stopping to watch the sunset, lying beneath a sky full of stars, listening to music, watching your child play, all these experiences helps you mindfully attending to and appreciate a positive stimulus. 
  3. Balanced Life: Happy people work to strike a balance in all areas of their life. They pay equal attention to all the areas of their life. They balance their time with attending to work, family, friends, exercise, spirituality, and recreation. Balance leads to contentment and happiness.
  4. Responsible: Happy people are responsible, they take up responsibility for all the things in their life. Owning the responsibility to things gives us a sense of control in life, which helps in taking action and being more productive.It is like you are the driver of your car and can maneuver over the bumps on the road rather than being in the backseat of the car and getting a bumpy ride.
  5. Self-Compassionate: Happy people are self-compassionate, they do not beat themselves up for any goof up. But learn from their mistakes than regret it. When you take responsibility for things and take control of your life, you'll tend to make mistakes, but if you beat your self up for it, it 'll lead to sadness and remorse. Though being sad, dejected is natural but is important to forgive yourself and move ahead and learn  
  6. Adaptable: Life is full of unexpected turns, and twists. No matter how much we plan things, there are unexpected obstacles, turmoils that come our way. They could be as tiny as possible Happy people are flexible and adaptable.  But the happiest people in life aren't the ones who focus on the interference or the obstacle, they're the ones who focus on finding the best way around the obstacle. Because they're adaptable, they don't have to worry about life's unpredictability, and they aren't as stressed when something major comes up. They simply find another way forward through the obstacles.
  7. Humour: Happy people are humorous. They tend to take things in a light way. Humour during the darkest times helps one to deal with the dark and depressing stuff more easily.

 

Happiness is not a goal to attain, it is a journey that is ongoing. Happiness needs to be pursued, it is not outside of you but within you. Practise gratitude, being present, striking a balance in life, be more adaptable, humorous for a happily ever after.

7 people found this helpful

Ways To Treat Borderline Personality Disorder!

Dr. Vimal Kumar 91% (115 ratings)
MD - Psychiatry, MBBS
Psychiatrist, Delhi
Ways To Treat Borderline Personality Disorder!

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental illness. A patient suffering from BPD maintains unstable relationships with other people, shows inappropriate emotional reactions and possesses suicidal or self-harm tendencies. It is purely a personality disorder caused due to multiple factors. Patients suffering from BPD may find it difficult to stay alone. They fear abandonment and loneliness. Yet they have a tendency of showing mood swings, sudden emotional outburst or anger and hostility. This prevents them from having a long lasting relationship in life.

It usually starts affecting the patient's life from early adulthood. It however seems to improve with age. The patient also has distorted self-image. He or she is unclear about what they want from life or what they are in reality. Even minor incidents can trigger intense reactions in people with BPD.

Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder:

The signs of suffering from BPD are listed below:

  1. Intense and frantic effort to avoid abandonment or loneliness
  2. Unstable relationships with people and changing the attitude towards them drastically. It can change from being in immense love with each other to intense hatred.
  3. Developing paranoid thoughts and having dissociative feelings-The patient often lacks the feeling of self and suffers from identity crisis.
  4. Suicidal feelings and attempts
  5. Tendency to cause self harm or destruction by drug abuse, driving irresponsibly or be having unprotected sex
  6. Reflecting intense depression
  7. Chronic boredom
  8. Sudden anger and hostility

Causes for Borderline Personality Disorder: Borderline Personality Disorder can be caused due to multiple reasons. Usually it has been found by researchers that it occurs to patients who have had a disturbed childhood. Complex and unpleasant happenings in the childhood may leave a deep impact on the patient's personality, which comes back as a disorder in his or her early adulthood. From mental, physical to sexual abuse in the childhood can lead to this condition in adults.

Besides, researchers have discovered recently that this illness has hereditary links. Some genes may be responsible for BPD. Improper functioning of the brain is also another factor. Especially, the portion of brain that controls emotions might not be functioning properly in co-ordination with other parts of it.

Diagnosis: There is no particular clinical test that can diagnose BPD. It can be diagnosed by a series of interactive session with the patient by a psychiatrist.

Treatment:  The treatment of BPD involves three steps- psychotherapy, medications and support from peer and family. Dialectical Behavioral therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and psychodynamic psychotherapy are used in treating the patient. There are no specific medicines to cure identity crisis, boredom and loneliness. However, other symptoms like mood swings, depression and anxiety can be treated with anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. Antipsychotic drugs are also helpful to a certain extent. In extreme cases, hospitalization may be needed.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

2614 people found this helpful

Understanding IQ, EQ, AQ for Better Life

Dr. Hemesh Thakur 86% (644 ratings)
CCH, BHMS
Homeopath, Delhi
Understanding IQ, EQ, AQ for Better Life

Understanding IQ, EQ, AQ for Better Life

Let's try to understand the importance of IQ, EQ, AQ in our daily lives to better deal with life situations happily, wisely. First of all, we will try to know the meanings of these 3Q's & then we will discuss the rest.

IQ stands for intelligent quotient of an individual which signifies mental potential, efficiency, caliber, ability to understand the things esp. on academic front which is required to achieve success, position, monetary things & so on in an individual's life. 

EQ stands for emotional quotient of an individual which signifies the emotional ability of an individual to deal/ manage the emotional issues of one's life effectively, positively. Persons with high emotional bank account are well off in managing such emotional issues.

AQ stands for adversity quotient of an individual who can manage the equilibrium of mental state in adverse situations of life as well find the solutions of coming out of it.

Persons with balanced IQ, EQ, AQ are best individuals who can manage the ups & down, emotional traumas effectively with their neutral approach in understanding the situations of life. Each Q has significant value in life at different stages such as IQ is very important in career development, achievements & so on. But it depends on nature of an individual as everyone is different from others, the ratio of IQ, EQ, AQ would differ in each person depending on family, society, environment, surroundings etc.

  • As we grow, the importance of Q's also changes in different aspects / stages of life. For example: during childhood IQ matters the most & as we enter into teenage, there is a blend of IQ & EQ representing an individual. Later on after marriage, EQ becomes most important & desirable. As we understand family comprises of husband & wife, their children & so on, one needs to be emotional enough to understand the aspect of others feeling FIRST & comment one's own afterwards.
  • The emotional bank account must be huge to lead a better married life. Both partners should be in the position to understand the emotional sensitivity of each other to react accordingly with empathy. That will positively help them to know each other in depth to maintain peace, happiness, prosperity for years to come.
  • Furthermore, AQ stands to become highly required in many areas of life where individuals face adversities of life such as financial crisis, loss of loved ones, natural calamity & so on. People who can withstand above said adversities & find the best possible solutions tend to display their AQ which becomes fundamental in such situations of life.
  • Last but not the least, to my experience, EQ & AQ seems to be highly important in understanding the life in depth to manage the equilibrium of life situations which will eventually facilitate a better understanding of individuals to lead happier & healthy life!
1 person found this helpful

10 Tips To Stop Overthinking

Mrs. Namrata Grover 92% (53 ratings)
M.A In Clinical Psychology, B.A - Psychology
Psychologist, Faridabad
10 Tips To Stop Overthinking

10 simple ideas to free yourself from overthinking.

1. Awareness is the beginning of change.

Before you can begin to address or cope with your habit of overthinking, you need to learn to be aware of it when it's happening. Any time you find yourself doubting or feeling stressed or anxious, step back and look at the situation and how you're responding. In that moment of awareness is the seed of the change you want to make.

2. Don't think of what can go wrong, but what can go right.

In many cases, overthinking is caused by a single emotion: fear. When you focus on all the negative things that might happen, it's easy to become paralyzed. Next time you sense that you starting to spiral in that direction, stop. Visualize all the things that can go right and keep those thoughts present and up front.

3. Distract yourself into happiness.

Sometimes it's helpful to have a way to distract yourself with happy, positive, healthy alternatives. Things like mediation, dancing, exercise, learning an instrument, knitting, drawing, and painting can distance you from the issues enough to shut down the overanalysis.

4. Put things into perspective.

It's always easy to make things bigger and more negative than they need to be. The next time you catch yourself making a mountain out of a molehill, ask yourself how much it will matter in five years. Or, for that matter, next month. Just this simple question, changing up the time frame, can help shut down overthinking.

5. Stop waiting for perfection.

This is a big one. For all of us who are waiting for perfection, we can stop waiting right now. Being ambitious is great but aiming for perfection is unrealistic, impractical, and debilitating. The moment you start thinking" this needs to be perfect" is the moment you need to remind yourself" waiting for perfect is never as smart as making progress"

6. Change your view of fear.

Whether you're afraid because you've failed in the past, or you're fearful of trying or overgeneralizing some other failure, remember that just because things did not work out before does not mean that has to be the outcome every time. Remember, every opportunity is a new beginning, a place to start again.

7. Put a timer to work.

Give yourself a boundary. Set a timer for five minutes and give yourself that time to think, worry, and analyze. Once the timer goes off, spend 10 minutes with a pen and paper, writing down all the things that are worrying you, stressing you, or giving you anxiety. Let it rip. When the 10 minutes is up, throw the paper out and move on--preferably to something fun.

8. Realize you can't predict the future.

No one can predict the future; all we have is now. If you spend the present moment worrying about the future, you are robbing yourself of your time now. Spending time on the future is simply not productive. Spend that time instead on things that give you joy.

9. Accept your best.

The fear that grounds overthinking is often based in feeling that you aren't good enough--not smart enough or hardworking enough or dedicated enough. Once you've given an effort your best, accept it as such and know that, while success may depend in part on some things you can't control, you've done what you could do.

10. Be grateful.

You can't have a regretful thought and a grateful thought at the same time, so why not spend the time positively? every morning and every evening, make a list of what you are grateful for. Get a gratitude buddy and exchange lists so you have a witness to the good things that are around you.

Overthinking is something that can happen to anyone. But if you have a great system for dealing with it you can at least ward off some of the negative, anxious, stressful thinking and turn it into something useful, productive, and effective.

9 people found this helpful

The Mind & Body Connection - Understanding the Metaphysical Side!

Ms. Aarathi Selvan 85% (22 ratings)
B.A. Hons . Psychology, MA Psychological Counseling, EDM Psychological Counseling, Trauma Specialist, MPhil Clinical Psychology
Psychologist, Hyderabad
The Mind & Body Connection - Understanding the Metaphysical Side!

People who have good emotional health are aware of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. They have learned healthy ways to cope with the stress and problems that are a normal part of life. They feel good about themselves and have healthy relationships.

However, many things that happen in life can disrupt your emotional health and lead to strong feelings of sadness, stress, or anxiety. Good changes can be just as stressful as bad changes. These things include:

  1. Being laid off from your job
  2. Having a child leave or return home
  3. Dealing with the death of a loved one
  4. Getting divorced or married
  5. Suffering an illness or an injury
  6. Getting a job promotion
  7. Experiencing money problems
  8. Moving to a new home
  9. Having a baby

What is the mind-body link?

You may already be familiar with phrases which describe the mind-body connection in day-to-day life such as something being a “pain in the neck” - it generally symbolises 'burden over mind'.

When we talk about mind, people usually understand it as a collection of thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitudes, memories, past experiences and personality that make up a person’s internal world.

Mind vs Brain

In colloquial terms, the words mind and brain may be used interchangeably but, the two are in fact not the same. While the brain is a physical organ, the mind can be described a virtual entity present within each cell of our body and extended to minimum 2 inches outside the body. That is why mind controls the body as a collection of thoughts, emotions, imagination and memories. When compared to a computer, the brain acts as the hardware while the mind is the software within it.

Is it all in my head?

Experiencing happiness or sadness not only affects your frame but also affects your physical health. For example, indigestion is commonly triggered by stress and anxiety. On the other hand, physical ailments also affect an individual’s mental well-being. Do you know anyone who feels happy when they are sick? Thus, the mind and body share a deep, cyclic connection. To be physically healthy is it important to be psychologically healthy and vice versa.

Emotions manifest themselves on an individual’s body in a number of ways. This ranges from changes in internal body temperature and blood sugar levels to hormonal imbalances and altered brain chemistry. Happiness and joyous emotions have the ability to boost immunity, alleviate pain and relax muscles while sadness and anxiety can increase heart beats, tighten muscles and dilate blood vessels. Over time, it can also lower a person’s immunity and make them more susceptible to bacterial and viral infections. Anxiety and depression can keep a person from eating nutritious food and exercising and hence lower his or her overall health. Poor emotional health could also encourage the use of stimulants such as alcohol and drugs that cause weight fluctuation, insomnia, tiredness, weakened gut health, sexual problems etc.

How do your thoughts and feelings affect your health?

Your brain produces substances that can improve your health. These substances include endorphins, which are natural painkillers, and gamma globulin, which strengthens your immune system.

Research shows that what your brain produces depends in part on your thoughts, feelings, and expectations. If you're sick but you have hope and a positive attitude and you believe that you'll get better, your brain is likely to produce chemicals that will boost your body's healing power.

Negative thoughts and emotions can keep your brain from producing some of the chemicals that help your body heal. But this doesn't mean you should blame yourself for getting sick or feeling down about a health problem. Some illnesses are beyond your control. But your thoughts and state of mind are resources you can use to get better.

The mind-body link and your health

Some of the body’s systems are more affected by the mind-body link more than others. You may recognise some listed below:

  1. Digestive System Changes: It is common to experience an upset stomach (e.g. nausea, diarrhoea, bloating or pain) during times of stress. There are lots of nerve connections between the brain and the gut. In fact, the gut is sometimes called the ‘Little Brain’ for this reason.
  2. Skin Conditions: People with skin conditions, including eczema or psoriasis, notice that during stressful periods their symptoms can become worse and respond less well to conventional treatments.
  3. Heart Symptoms: Changes in the way the heart works are common in stressful or exciting circumstances. For example, stress or excitement can cause the heart to beat faster and raise blood pressure. These normal changes in heart rate and blood pressure as a result of stress can be concerning for people with or without heart conditions.
  4. Fatigue: Fatigue can also be affected by how we think and feel. For example, boredom can lead to feeling fatigued and sleepy whereas an unexpected piece of good news could give you a burst of energy. Fatigue can also be present as part of mood problems such as depression and anxiety. People who experience health problems may struggle with fatigue which is a combination of physical and emotional factors.
  5. Thinking Styles: How you think - your ‘thinking style’ - can affect how you feel emotionally and physically. Some common thinking styles make it seem very likely that something bad is going to happen. This can make you feel worried, sad or upset even though the thought is not true.

Mind-Body Therapies

Below is a short list of some of the more common types of psychotherapy. Some therapy techniques have been scientifically tested on a large scale basis; while others are newer and often combined with more established psychotherapies.

  1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
  2. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
  3. Psychodynamic Therapy
  4. Interpersonal Therapy (IPT)
  5. Hypnotherapy

Using the mind-body link to help you manage your health

  • Learning how to relax can help your mind and body. You can try different things until you find one that works for you. For example: Listen to relaxing music.
  • Spend five minutes focusing on the rhythm of your breath.
  • Try using prayer or meditation to relax.
  • Imagine being in a peaceful scene, such as a beach or woodland. Notice what you can see, hear, touch, taste and smell.
  • Try not to rush around during the day. Leave plenty of time for your planned activities.
  • Talk to someone when you are feeling stressed, anxious or down you might not feel like doing anything.

Thankfully, like physical ailments, emotional ailments too can be treated.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

4147 people found this helpful

Feeling Needy - Is There A Way To Reduce That Feeling?

Dr. Srikant Sharma 87% (162 ratings)
MD - Psychiatry, MBBS
Psychiatrist, Delhi
Feeling Needy - Is There A Way To Reduce That Feeling?

Man is different from the other species in that we are social beings. One of the main differentiators is our constant need to 'connect' with our fellow beings. Be it family or friends or society at large, we constantly need to be connected to our near and dear ones and want attention, affection, and assurance.

We need to respect this basic desire and appreciate that there is nothing wrong in feeling needed. Problems arise when this feeling to be needed gets excessive. There is a significant constant demand from the needy person, especially from those who are close to them.

Some cases where neediness is demonstrated are in new relationships. In the beginning, there is a great urge to please and therefore a greater focus on interacting with them. There is a fear of losing attention, there is insatiable excessive demand for attention - be it pleas, accusations, or demands - so as to not feel abandoned and deserted. Neediness is also quite evident in people with depression. Again, an attempt to not be abandoned by their near and dear ones.

By making a conscious effort, the neediness can be reduced, thereby making the relationships smoother and less painful to both the parties involved. As the saying goes - 'acknowledging the problem is half the problem solved'.

Needy people should realize or accept if told that there is an issue and make a conscious effort to work on reducing neediness.

1. Divert attention - As simple as it might sound, it is equally effective. Indulge in whatever interests you - exercise, meditation, dance, sing, etc. The idea is to divert attention so that the urge to feel needy and act on that instinct is reduced. This reduces the fear of being lonely and works magic. The busier you get, the less bored you are. As they say, be alone but not lonely.

2. Clarity in communication - One of the intricacies of neediness is making unclear demands. Sadly, quite often, the person does not know what he wants, and so are the demands or requests which are equally unclear. Once you are aware that your neediness is making you do this, make an effort to clearly communicate what you actually want. This reduces the stress on both the parties involved and leads to a happier engagement.

3. Clarity in relationships - Take a step back and see if your neediness is affecting any major relationships. If yes, revisit and clarify. Make an attempt and reestablish the relationships. If it is your truly near and dear ones, they will be very forthcoming and understanding.

4. Move on - In cases where your neediness has affected another person, be wise to accept their wishes and not be more 'needy' or clingy. This acceptance will make way for a lot of healthier relationships as you learn to deal with accepting your issues.

5. Socialize - Use your hobbies to make more friends and socialize more. Having more people to interact with reduces your need to be accepted by the same people. You have more people to rely on and might make more friends for keeps.

These are some simple ways to reduce neediness on others, but as mentioned, the first step is to accept and then work on ways to reduce it.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

3569 people found this helpful

My Child Is Getting Stubborn. How Do I Handle This?

Dr. Ajay Gupta 90% (23 ratings)
MD - Paediatrics
Pediatrician, Bathinda


A common scene" while you are shopping with your child, he stops in front of a shop and asks for an expensive toy. You try convincing him that he already has many. He refuses to listen, starts crying rolls over on the floor, you try to stop. You yell and shout at him but nothing seems to work. You finally buy the toy for him. Now he is happy!”


Are all kids stubborn?

Most kids are stubborn at times. This is considered normal in the first few years of life. However, if this behavior is persistent, then it calls for evaluation and introspection on part of the parents.


What problems can arise due to their stubborn behavior?

  • A pervasive stubborn and adamant attitude in children can lead to the following:
  • Increased anxiety and stress in the family
  • Child may lag behind in academics
  • Child can develop an understanding that through his behavior, he can get his way always
  • Will have difficulty adjusting in school and with friends
  • May develop a defiant and aggressive attitude

Is punishment an effective method?

Punishment works as a temporary method to stop stubborn behavior. However, it is not recommended always. First it is important for parents to understand reason for kids being stubborn.


What can parents do when child is in the midst of a tantrum?

When the child is in the midst of a tantrum, it is important that parents stay calm and composed. Time out, walking away from the situation, ignoring the child, till he gets out of it is the best solution.


What is a time out?

Time-out is a form of behavioural modification that involves temporarily separating a child from an environment where unacceptable behavior occurred. Time-outs may be on a chair, in a corner, bedroom, or any other location where there are no distractions, and reduced access to fun items, activities and people.
This procedure is preferable to other punishments such as reprimanding, yelling at or spanking the child for their misbehavior.


How much time can I give a time out for?

Time outs must be brief. A rule of thumb for time outs is" one minute per year of age, for example if your child is 5 yrs old, time out given maybe for 5 mins.


What is positive reinforcement?

Positive reinforcement is catching your child doing good and praising/ rewarding him for the same. It is an effective means to improve behavior in children. Set up a target for your child, give him stars on days when he meets set goals and at the end of the week, reward him with something that he wants. This is called behavioral charting and is very effective in kids.


Common parenting tips to be followed:

  • Children learn by observing parents. Parents attitude and behavior influences child’s behavior in a major way
  • Listen, don’t argue
  • Stay calm
  • Reinforce positive behavior. Catch your child doing any good and praise him for it. Let him know his good behavior is being noticed and appreciated, it will help to increase this behavior
  • Ignore tantrums
  • Understand your child’s behavior
  • Do not give into his blackmailing
  • Spend quality time with your children. Let them know you are available for them
  • Be aware of your own emotions and actions
  • Respect them
  • Ensure your child is engaged and busy. Boredom many times can trigger tantrums
  • As parents, understand the difference between needs and wants

Identify the antecedents to their stubborn behavior. Do not scold them or beat them, but be composed when you deal with them. Do not give in to their demands in the midst of a tantrum. Ignoring the tantrum is the best way out.

Most crucial aspect is to ensure that all members of the family agree on the same disciplining method. Convince all at home that being firm with the child when he throws tantrums is in the best interest of the child.

Disclaimer" the information is based on standard medical guidelines and is purely informative. Not to be used for treatment.”

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