In some cases, frustration can tend to be positive and can give you another perspective or view on things. It can also give you the ability to continue going further until you achieve your objective. However, there are times when you are going in circles and the dissatisfaction makes you frustrated and this frustration can cloud your mind and judgment.
To avoid that from happening, there are certain approaches that will help you overcome your frustration:
Then again, you could also take your time to understand that you may have taken a lot of pressure or things have been extreme. Hence, you have to take some time or a couple of days to simply unwind, deal with yourself and maybe calm down a bit.
One of the most common personality disorders, BPD or borderline personality disorder often remains undiagnosed or repressed and gets passed off as mood swings or a volatile disposition. However this disorder is much more than just mood swings as it can seriously affect the quality of a person’s life. The primary manifestation of this disorder is in the way you think about yourself and others which result in the work that you need to do on a daily basis.
How does BPD manifest in your life?
The most common ways Borderline personality disorder can manifest in your life is with extreme mood swings or emotions, a discernable pattern in relationships becoming unstable after sometime, impulsive behavior, and a self–image which is distorted. BPD thus affects how you view yourself, how you feel about others and you resultant behavior in general. Some of the typical signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder are mentioned below.
Persistent feelings of emptiness
Causes of Borderline personality disorder
In most cases borderline personality disorder can’t be exactly attributed to a single cause and in most cases, is a combination of factors. While genetic or hereditary predisposition can cause BPD it may also be triggered by other factors. Also, not curbing mal-traits in young children or encouraging such behaviors may lead to BPD as they grow up. Some of the factors that contribute to BPD are
If you think you have been displaying some of the symptoms for a fairly prolonged period, it is advisable that you visit a mental health professional for counseling and start with therapy as advised by them.
Self-Awareness can be understood as knowing about oneself i.e. one’s thoughts, feelings and other characteristics of self. It is important because when we have a better understanding of ourselves, we are able to experience ourselves as unique and separate individuals and then have ability to make changes and focus on our strengths as well as identify the areas where we would like to make improvements.
One should Take out time to look inwards which can help shape the person as who they are, become what they intend to. Looking inward can help one take positive steps in life. It is a necessary part of gaining self-awareness of:
* who you are
* how you see yourself
* what you think about yourself.
Along with how others see you, experience you what they think about you and what they can either enjoy about you or be distanced by in you. At the very least, Introspection can help you make morally appropriate and much more personally responsible conscious decisions.
5 Benefits of Self-Awareness-
1. Character Building-Looking inward forces one to confront the person who they really are – the positive, the negative, the weaknesses and the strengths and motivates one to work on them.
2. Rational Neutral Thinking- The conscious awareness about self makes one think about all the available information and then guide their thoughts accordingly.
3. Better Decision Making- Introspection helps one take better decisions about self, keeping in mind one’s desires, abilities and strengths.
4. Fight With One’s Own Fears – Through self-awareness one can acknowledge one’s own fears and move towards managing the feelings they bring in.
5. Acknowledgement Of Choices- Introspection helps individual in defining the true authentic self which will help them to empower themselves to identify the real authentic choices and to feel much more confident in them and with them.
Thus, one must cultivate this practice of Self-Awareness for better understanding of self and make better decisions about self and ultimately be happy.
Manic depression, also known as bipolar disorder in recent days, is a major mood disorder characterized by hypomanic or manic episodes (deviation from one's usual mood along with abnormally high energy levels). Mania involves sleeplessness, along with psychosis, hallucinations, rage, grandiose delusions or paranoia. Mania or hypomania isn’t usually harmful to the patient and they might exhibit increased capacity for work and creativity. Depressive episodes however, can be debilitating and often life threatening as the person becomes self-destructive and suicidal in many instances.
The extent of mood swings can vary from extreme to very mild. They can occur progressively or suddenly and might last for few days to weeks. Patients affected by bipolar disorder may experience disturbances in thinking apart from depressive or manic episodes. Distortions of perception and impaired social functioning are also not uncommon. The cause of bipolar disorder is not fully understood like most mental health conditions and is often thought to be hereditary.
The extent of the seriousness of the bipolar symptoms varies from person to person. In some people, the disorder is not full blown and they don’t exhibit all the symptoms. Others who aren’t that lucky might have to be hospitalized multiple times in their lives as the symptoms creep into their work and personal life and make living a normal life a tough challenge.
Psychotic symptoms such as disorganized thinking, hallucinations and delusions might make a person do things that demand the urgency of hospitalization to keep them safe from their suicidal impulses. These symptoms might need to be urgently addressed by a psychiatrist and with the help of medications, the person might be able to regain control of their lives.
The symptoms of bipolar disorder are many and can be mainly categorized into two (sometimes overlapping) categories of mania or hypomania and depression:
Manic symptoms include:
Depressive symptoms include:
Mood stabilizers, such as lithium are commonly employed to treat bipolar disorder. Anticonvulsants, benzodiazepines and anti psychotics can also be used in the treatment. Along with medications, support from family and friends is of the utmost importance as they need to help provide all the support required in making the person functional and healthy.
Elderly people are usually prone to social isolation which can take a toll on their health. With physical inability or limitations to move around, socializing also gets limited and loneliness comes into your life. Thus, a major section of the senior population tends to have psychological issues as well which may be caused due to the loss of company and lesser interaction as well as a generation gap in trying to deal with younger people. If you are finding it hard to cope with loneliness, here are a few initiatives worth giving a try:
Meet New People: Try giving an effort into meeting new people and enjoying their companionship. With time, few of these relationships might culminate into deep friendship. You can always turn to these people for emotional support as well as keeping company.
Community Volunteering: Volunteer your time engaging yourself in local community activities and social events. Also try and get into interest groups where you can find people who have common interests as yours.
Get back to your long lost hobbies: Re-kindle your long-lost zeal by adopting or getting back to hobbies you truly love, for instance, art and craft, gardening, sewing, playing an instrument, reading and writing, puzzles and writing to pen pals.
Get a pet: Pets can add a new meaning to your life through their unconditional love. There is no greater joy than the joy of bringing up a pet. Ensure how don’t have allergy problems and will be able to keep up with the readily requirements of pets.
Reminisce your good old days: Recollection would enhance your emotional health and will less likely make you feel withdrawn.
Invite people over: In case you are home-bound, coming across people each day would be difficult. In that case invite your mates over tea or keep in touch with them through phone or internet. The internet is also a great resource to keep yourself occupied and to find hobbies that you can get into.
Keep depression at bay: Loneliness can often make you fall prey to depression. Keep a check on any sign of physical or mental deterioration such as the feeling of despair and sadness, sleep-troubles, suicidal thoughts, unwillingness to take decisions, apathy and appetite loss.
Help others: Use your acquired experiences and knowledge of your life-time in helping people out. Teach as well as learn something new each day.
Write it down: Maintain a personal journal to pen down the things you are looking forward to or devise a plan for the forthcoming week.
Take initiative: Do not wait for others to call on you. Instead travel by yourself to visit them. Seize every chance to initiate a conversation and smile even if life seems hard so that people are automatically attracted to you.
Emotional problems make direct tasks and simple errands harder. High feeling, bubbling disappointment and hurt emotions motivate the person. Certain people become very protective. Protectiveness causes us to pry on others. Others might want to disconnect completely and resolve issues in a different manner. A great many people manage their emotional issues by opposing, quelling and overlooking them. At this point, your brain feels uneasy and you end up making rash decisions. However, there are ways to deal with emotional problems. These are as follows:
In case that you continue facing this frequently, you will soon find that your relationship with your mind will begin to change. You will build up an intense metacognition (the capacity to face your reasoning) which helps you to handle your emotions and feelings in a great manner.
Everything you do in your life is basically to get someone to like you, or at least, not to dislike you. You may try to impress your parents, friends, spouse or even your colleagues, or rather you may just want someone to like you more. But this urge of ‘wanting to be liked by others’ is something almost all humans desire. In fact, it has become a way of life. Most people associate likability to physical appearance. While it does work to some extent initially, in the long run, it is your personality and behaviour that actually make a difference.
Seven ways to get people to like you:
1. Find out their interests: Every individual’s thought process is ultimately around his/her own self. Therefore, when you show a level of interest in a person, that person begins to reciprocate the interest in you. Hence the first step towards getting people to like you is by showing interest in them. This mutual admiration society builds itself in time from being virtual & simulated towards authenticity and genuinely being interested.
2. Be kind, compassionate and empathic: When someone shows warmth, it breaks the ice and makes it easier to become friendly. You don’t need to overdo anything to look attractive. You just need to be clean and maintain good hygiene and be kind to be reciprocated with the same.
3. Being humorous: People are generally more attracted towards someone who can make them laugh at times of distress. The class clown, for instance, is usually a popular kid. However, don’t constantly joke around or play pranks as the other person may get annoyed and frustrated instead.
4. Be energetic and enthusiastic: We actually tend to mirror the behaviour of those we spend more time with. Talk about what you love doing and show sincere enthusiasm and that energy will attract millions. Show them your enthusiasm through your voice, your body language and your confidence.
5. Your body language plays a role: Avoid the body language that conveys the signals of boredom or disinterest. For instance, crossing your arms at your chest gives an impression that you are disinterested in the other person and don’t want to be talked to, or, sighing heavily conveys the message that you are disgusted or frustrated.
6. Don’t be judgemental; accept the person as he/she is: Pay attention to other’s concerns and try nodding your head as you speak. Generally, people tend to mirror the body language of those around them in order to better understand what other people are feeling. By nodding your head you convey the message that you consider their views to be desirable which makes people more inclined to agree with you.
7. Smile and make an eye contact: The eyes are an incredible part of our body. Making an eye contact with someone tells them that you are engaged in what they have to say and are interested in them. Smile with your eyes, as if you are truly happy meeting or speaking to that person.
However, you don’t need to fake yourself up to get others to like you. Just be yourself and love yourself first. Being yourself however doesn’t mean you can do what ever you wish to, as you cannot be happy if you are not empathic. One needs to balance eastern and western perspectives and live by good values and integrity and others will naturally start liking you.
Borderline personality disorder is connected with the mental health of the patient and is usually seen in the way the patient perceives himself or herself. This has a deep impact on the brain and overall functioning of the patient. It leads to problems in the personal life and relationships of the patient. These problems are usually triggered by a fear of abandonment. Let us explore the signs and symptoms of this condition to understand it in a better manner:
With the amount of time and energy that we invest in a relationship, it is always difficult to see it come to an end. But as the adage goes, life must go on, and so it is important to move on. Once you break up a relationship, take a while to look back at the good memories and important lessons of the relationship and get over it. In most cases, the fault is with neither person – it is just the compatibility between the two individuals which probably was just not good enough. Therefore, though there could be the usual blame-games, it is best to agree that it is time to move on and go about it.
Some of the ways to get over a breakup are listed below-
What works for one person may not work for another. It also depends on how mature a person is and how much they were into the relationship.
Give it a few days, and then… move on!!!
Stonewalling is a term that was developed by psychologist Dr John Gottman, who specializes in relationship research and therapy. Stonewalling means when a person “withdraws from the interaction, shutting down and closing themselves off from the speaker because they are feeling overwhelmed or physiologically flooded”.
Stonewalling is when a person withdraws from a conversation and refuses to deal with concerns. Stonewalling occurs when individuals tends to completely decline to communicate or cooperate. Stonewalling is different from rare timeout, stonewalling occurs when an individual is absolutely denies another partner’s perspective. Stone walling occurs in various situations. Both verbal and non-verbal behavior can be an indicator of stonewalling. Stonewalling is considered to be a manipulative technique and it can hamper the relationships.
Communication is considered to the essence of every relationship. When one or both partners engage in stone walling, this reflects that the couple refuses to communicate their feelings. Communication is considered to be the essence of every relationship. Thus stone walling tends to outweigh the positive effects of communication and leads to vicious cycle where couples avoid discussing about their concerns.
Stonewalling can be considered to have psychological as well as physiological effect. Stonewalling is considered to be a form of fight or flight responses. It is considered to be a controlling tactic that can lead to emotional abuse. Stonewalling is ineffective and can damage your relationship. The problem of stonewalling is seen not only between the couples but also exist in families.
Stonewalling is considered to closing stages to communication and can appear to be hurtful to the person who is at the receiving end. It can create feelings of abdondonment and detachment in the relationship.
Despite the fact whether stonewalling is intentional or not but the message it conveys can be still very hurtful as it tend to show that your partner is not worth responding to and their thoughts and feelings also don’t matter.
While stonewalling many times occurs in the form of coping mechanism, it can have catastrophic implications when it is used over period of time.
Stonewalling or Silent treatment can be most destructive pattern of communication that destroys relationship because it can create feeling of loneliness and rejection. Stonewalling can be frustrating, unbearable and isolating for individuals who are at receiving end.
When people engage in stonewalling is to avoid dealing with the situation, to get attention, to show power and to express anger. Every individual experiences conflict in their relationship and every couple should resolve the issue sooner rather than later. No couple can ever be conflict free. Happy couples are those who know how to deal with problems when they arrive. Showing love and affection can really help couple win the battle.
A relationship marked by recurrent stonewalling behavior can cause suffers tremendous rift between the two partners. Unless the couple, doesn’t learn how to communicate with each other more productively the problems will continue to persist. The partners become more distant from each other and the intimacy declines. They may continue to live their lives without sharing any activities or interests with each other.
Relationships can be tricky. They require a lot of patience and good communication. Many times the problem arises when the couple avoids dealing with the problem which can cause deterioration in the relationship. It is essential for the couple to learn and grow along side.
No matter what the reason is behind stonewalling it is important to communicate rather than shutting all the means of communication.
If you recognize that your partner is stonewalling you, it is also essential to understand that how you may be contributing to the problem and take steps in the desired action. When the problem seems to get out of control seek help from professional marriage counsellor or relationship expert in order to improve self-esteem and communication skills is essential.