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Recipe For A Happy Marriage!

Dr. Nisha Khanna 88% (51 ratings)
Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Recipe For A Happy Marriage!

Finding just the perfect recipe to make your marriage work is very hard to find. There are three ways to make your marriage work, the first is to understand your current situation, the second is to realize what you lack and what do you expect out of your marriage and the third point is actually moving towards your desired goal. When we sit and decide these goals it should be mutually decided, as there should be no confusion regarding the aspects that help the couple to lead a happy marital life.

Consider marriage to be a dish, in order to ensure that it turns to be well it requires proper ingredients. If the recipe lacks even one element the whole dish can get faulty. Just like how a pinch of salt can add to the taste, these little ingredients can enhance the married life.


Every relationship works on trust. Imagine a relationship where we are trapped in the feelings of insecurity and not knowing how to manage such feelings. It is essential to have faith when there is no faith in the relationship; it gets in a shaky position where the foundation goes weak and the chances of the marriage falling apart increase manifold. Any happy relationship is all about the level of trust that we invest in each other. High level of trust is essential to make the marriage work and to enjoy life together.

2. Intimacy

Intimacy is not just about the sexual relationship but the level at which you connect with one another. Intimacy is a broader concept and encompasses various aspects. Intimacy can be seen even in having dinner together. The only important point is to ensure that you are at the same level of the continuum.

3. Sexual Relationship

The sexual relationship is important for various reasons as it is all about intimacypleasure and sexual expression. It tends to have positive effects on the relationship and enables a better connection. The absence of sex can lead to a feeling of frustration and emptiness.  Healthy sex life is one of the most basic factors that the couple’s point about successful marriage.

4. Finances

Another problem stems taking into account the financial problem. Many times the couple is not able to meet the expenditure, as a result, they start to quarrel over small petty issues. A happy marriage requires you to have a clear understanding of how they are going to manage their finances. Money in today’s time defines our happiness level, the needs and demands have really increased and so has our expectation, we need money to fulfil all our desire and to ensure that we lead a stable life. As a couple, you should learn how to strike a balance between your needs and wants.

5. Companionship

The best way to lead a happy life is to ensure that you get married to your best friend or end up being best of friends. In the end, we need somebody with whom we can share our day to day problems. Another way is to have a social circle, it essential to make time and go out with friends. Thus, it is essential to have a strong friendly relationship and spend quality time together.

6. Communication

As an individual, we go through a series of feelings and emotions. Couples who are in a happy marriage are the ones, who know not only what to communicate but also how to put across their viewpoints. Sharing minute details about their day and putting across whatever goes in your mind is very essential. Not just sharing the good points but also what are your fears also holds your marriage together. Openness is an important aspect to make the marriage work. If you hide things and refrain from sharing your feelings then soon anger will build up. This pent-up anger can further aggravate the problems.

7. Understanding

In life, we need people who understand us and let us showcase our true self. Be it friends or relationship, to be happy with someone requires a level of understanding. When someone knows us in and out and knows our flaws, the person is more likely to accept who we are as an individual and provides us with a sense of comfort and security.

8. Space

No marriage is perfect and no marriage is ever conflict-free. Never make each other feel trapped in a relationship. Give space to each other to achieve not only goals together but also to focus on individual goals which help to increase self-esteem and focus on self-growth. In situations where things get little heated up taking space can help things to calm down.

9. Respect

Mutual Respect is very essential in every marriage, many problems arise when we start taking each other for granted and do not accept the difference of opinion in a positive way. Mutual Respect is regarding the boundariesneeds and wishes of the partner. It is very important to pay attention and appreciate the distinctive personality of your partner.

Acceptance is considered to be a part of respect. Many times we try to mould the person according to our expectations which can create few problems. Don’t just focus on the negatives and try and focus on the positive aspects. Nobody is perfect; we just need to accept each other for as they are. As every individual has few strengths and weakness working together can lead to greater insights.

10. Appreciation

It is essential to remember that in order to build a strong and stable marriage requires hard work and perseverance. Focus on the small happy moments that you build together and let these moments define who you are as a couple.

Accept that relationships are dynamic and learn how to manage these changes over time. Following these tips can help you to strengthen your relationship. In case a couple finds it difficult to reach any of these ingredients then it is best advised to seek help from a professional marriage expert or relationship counsellor. A marriage counsellor can help you understand ways to make your marriage happy.

5 Signs You Are In A Relationship With A Narcissist!

Dr. Nisha Khanna 88% (51 ratings)
Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
5 Signs You Are In A Relationship With A Narcissist!

Relationships are entirely dependent on the personalities of the two individuals involved in it. While some are easy going and make it seem like a cakewalk, others have a tough time keeping the relationship stable and happy. If one of the partners is a narcissist, the relationship is going to suffer, as relationships are about mutual give-and-take, which never happens with narcissists.

By definition, they give themselves too much importance and do not have much regard for the other person. The good news though is that there are tell-tale signs which can help one identify if they are dealing with a narcissist and become aware at the earliest before too much physical or emotional damage is done. Read up and for best results!

  1. Right over you and your stuff: They feel that they are entitled to all their wants, irrespective of how the other person feels. There is also no reciprocation involved here.
  2. No rules apply: The person behaves as if no rules apply to them and do not feel any shame in skipping queues, jumping lanes or traffic signals, etc. They feel rules are not for them but only others.
  3. Emotional swings: Blow hot, blow cold syndrome where they are blowing praises on you one minute and embarrassing you and mocking you the next.
  4. Think too much of themselves: They also make their partner feel like they are indispensable and the person cannot live without them.
  5. Take credit: If the partner has done or achieved something good, the narcissist will make sure they draw credit for it or they might not give credit or might praise them for their achievements.

If one feels that a person has narcissism that could be causing harm to oneself or to others around, and if you are unable to handle the situations yourself then they can seek professional help or counseling.

2 people found this helpful

How And Why Mood Swings Impact Relationship?

Dr. Nisha Khanna 88% (51 ratings)
Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
How And Why Mood Swings Impact Relationship?

In our daily interactions, we often meet people who have mood swings and their state may vary from a few hours to a few days. The impact of these unhealthy mood swings damages their personal as well as professional life. The person suffering from these mood swings may have depressionbipolar or borderline personality disorder. There are more than 10 million individuals diagnosed with each of these psychological issues every year in India. In this article, we are going to talk about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or emotional instability i.e. a pattern of abnormal behaviour characterized by unstable relationships with other people at a longer period of time.

Individuals with such instability have an unstable sense of self, may feel empty or afraid of being neglected. They might be unusually sensitive in a relationship, have trust issues with everyone, difficulty in regulating their emotions, and quite impulsive in nature. This impulsive nature mostly provides them immediate relief from their emotional pain and in extreme situations to lesser down this pain, they get involved into risk-takingdangerous behaviours like rash driving, compulsive gambling, substance abuse, binge eating, unprotected sex, accumulating debt, the threat of suicide or self-mutilation tendencies.

They most likely have a history of breakups or a sequence of a futile love relationship. Even the possibility of multiple sexual partners, not just impulsively but intentionally too. It helps them to fight the feelings of emptiness. Whenever they feel empty, lonely, or even bored, sex may generate positive feelings. While, some individuals, on the other hand, can even have a negative attitude towards sex, thus avoidance of sex for fear of experiencing an exacerbation of their symptoms is also quite common amongst them.

Individuals with this psychological illness tend to believe in an all or none phenomenon, they might feel intense joy and gratitude at perceived expressions of kindness, and intense sadness or anger at perceived criticism or hurtfulness. A slight disappointment with others can cause a shift in their feeling from admiration or love to anger or dislike. These mood disturbances can undermine relationships with family, friends and even colleagues. We all might be ignorant about such mood swings, but we have to understand that at times they could be quite abnormal and require professional help.

There are various reasons for the very occurrence of this type of emotional instability or BPD, some of them are:

  1. The most prominent cause is molestationsexual or physical abuse experienced by an individual. Research points out that an incident of sexual or physical abuse can increase the chances of developing disorder manifold.
  1. Traumas like being neglected, rejected, separated from their parents, at an early age can have a later impact too.
  1. Brain Development also plays a major role many people with BPD have something wrong with the neurotransmitters in their brain, particularly serotonin. Altered levels of serotonin have been linked to depressionaggression and difficulty controlling destructive urges.
  1. Family History where parents or sibling might be suffering from BPD can also lead to a higher risk of developing it. It can injure many areas of life.
  1. Not just inheritance but also the environment in which an individual grows up influences his thought process and his behavioural patterns. People have a hard time dealing with it and their hypersensitivity often results in a very intense and variable response by a person. The individual learns to express his emotions in an extreme way or completely inhibits them. The root cause of the problem can be traced back to childhood.
  1. Emotionally unstable individuals lack self-awareness and are not very certain about how they see themselves and their interests. In most of the cases, people suffering from it have low self-worth and self-image. Their behaviour is very intense and most of the time doesn’t fit the situation.

The psychological condition (mood swings) can last for years and may be quite long-lasting, so it would be highly recommendable to seek for professional help if you are facing such issues. Borderline Personality Disorder is usually treated with counselling (talk therapy). Although medication may reduce the symptoms, they do not cure as the therapies do. Therapy is beneficial for people at this stage as the counsellor has the appropriate training and patience to comprehend the emotional crises that the person experiences. The main intent of the counsellor is to help the person to identify the cause of these mood swings and to make the individual learn how to modify such behavioural patterns. The counsellor also further helps them to develop better communicative strategies and improve interpersonal relationships. Through counselling, the individuals learn how to cope positively in stressful situations, tolerate distress and how to start responding instead of reacting.

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Manic Behaviour - What Are The Signs?

Dr. S. Gopinath 87% (16 ratings)
MD - Psychiatry
Psychiatrist, Chennai
Manic Behaviour - What Are The Signs?

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. A person’s mood and emotions can be altered drastically due to bipolar disorder, but they do not have more than one personality. Split personalities problem is more commonly seen in those with dissociative disorders. 

There are four basic types of bipolar disorder; all of them involve clear changes in mood, energy, and activity levels. These moods range from periods of extremely “up,” elated, and energized behavior (known as manic episodes) to very sad, “down,” or hopeless periods (known as depressive episodes). Less severe manic periods are known as hypomanic episodes.

  1. Bipolar I Disorder— defined by manic episodes that last at least 7 days, or by manic symptoms that are so severe that the person needs immediate hospital care. Usually, depressive episodes occur as well, typically lasting at least 2 weeks. Episodes of depression with mixed features (having depression and manic symptoms at the same time) are also possible.
  2. Bipolar II Disorder— defined by a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes, but not the full-blown manic episodes described above.
  3. Cyclothymic Disorder (also called cyclothymia)— defined by numerous periods of hypomanic symptoms as well numerous periods of depressive symptoms lasting for at least 2 years (1 year in children and adolescents). However, the symptoms do not meet the diagnostic requirements for a hypomanic episode and a depressive episode.
  4. Other Specified and Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorders— defined by bipolar disorder symptoms that do not match the three categories listed above.

The disorder has two strong phases: 1) Bipolar Mania and 2) Depression.


Mania is a state of heightened energy and euphoria - an elevation of mood. It is in direct contrast to depression. Mania can vary in severity from hypomania, where, in addition to mood and energy elevation, the person shows mild impairment of judgement and insight, to severe mania with delusions and a level of manic excitement that can be so exhausting that hospitalisation is required to control the episode.

The mood, energy and other related symptoms define both mania and hypomania, with psychotic features being an 'add on' component experienced by a sub-set of individuals. 

You have an intense sense of well-being, energy and optimism. It can be so strong that it affects your thinking and judgement. You may believe strange things about yourself, make bad decisions, and behave in embarrassing, harmful and - occasionally - dangerous ways.
Like depression, it can make it difficult or impossible to deal with day-to-day life. Mania can badly affect both your relationships and your work. When it isn't so extreme, it is called 'hypomania'.
If you become manic, you may notice that you are:


  • very happy and excited
  • irritated with other people who don't share your optimistic outlook
  • feeling more important than usual. 


  • full of new and exciting ideas
  • moving quickly from one idea to another
  • hearing voices that other people can't hear


  • full of energy
  • unable or unwilling to sleep
  • more interested in sex.  


  • making plans that are grandiose and unrealistic
  • very active, moving around very quickly
  • behaving unusually
  • talking very quickly - other people may find it hard to understand what you are talking about
  • making odd decisions on the spur of the moment, sometimes with disastrous consequences
  • recklessly spending your money
  • over-familiar or recklessly critical with other people
  • less inhibited in general.

If you are in the middle of a manic episode for the first time, you may not realise that there is anything wrong – although your friends, family or colleagues will. You may even feel annoyed if someone tries to point this out to you. You increasingly lose touch with day-to-day issues – and with other people's feelings. 


The feeling of depression is something we all experience from time to time. It can even help us to recognise and deal with problems in our lives. In clinical depression or bipolar disorder, the feeling of depression is much worse. It goes on for longer and makes it difficult or impossible to deal with the normal things of life. If you become depressed, you will notice some of these changes:


  • feelings of unhappiness that don't go away
  • feeling that you want to burst into tears for no reason
  • losing interest in things
  • being unable to enjoy things
  • feeling restless and agitated
  • losing self-confidence
  • feeling useless, inadequate and hopeless
  • feeling more irritable than usual
  • thinking of suicide.  


  • can’t think positively or hopefully
  • finding it hard to make even simple decisions
  • difficulty in concentrating. 


  • losing appetite and weight
  • difficulty in getting to sleep
  • waking earlier than usual
  • feeling utterly tired
  • constipation
  • going off sex. 


  • difficulty in starting or completing things – even everyday chores
  • crying a lot – or feeling like you want to cry, but not being able to
  • avoiding contact with other people.


  1. Biological Causes: Experts say that patients with bipolar disorder often show physical changes in their brains. Nobody is sure why the changes lead to the disorder.
  2. Genetic Traits: Researchers are involved in finding out whether or not the causes of bipolar disorder arise out of genes and other hereditary factors. If you have a first-degree relative or a sibling who is/was affected by this condition, you would probably have it too.
  3. Neurotransmitters: Mood swing disorder is caused by an imbalance in brain chemicals known as ‘neurotransmitters’.

Treatment Methods:

  1. Initial Treatment: The initial treatment method is to take medications to balance and control the mood swings. After the symptoms are in control, one has to start working with his/her trusted doctor for chalking out an effective and practical long-term treatment procedure.
  2. Hospitalization: Hospitalization or immediate medical support is recommended in case of suicidal thoughts or when a person starts exhibiting erratic behavior (being psychotic).

  3. Medications: Medications include the administration of antipsychotics (such as ziprasidone, olanzapine), antidepressants (usually in combination with a mood stabilizer or an anti-psychotic), mood stabilizers (such as valproic acid, lithium, divalproex sodium) and anti-anxiety medications.

  4. Recovery from substance abuse: Problems related to excessive alcohol and drug abuse are solved by this therapy. Failing this step, this disorder can be unmanageable.

  5. Day care treatment: Day care treatment programs can be recommended by your doctor. This treatment method includes counseling and support which keep the bipolar traits under control.

490 people found this helpful

Is Depression A Kind Of Mood Disorder?

Dr. N A Khan (Unani Specialist) 91% (819 ratings)
Doctor In Unani Medicine(D.U.M.B.I.M)
Sexologist, Delhi
Is Depression A Kind Of Mood Disorder?

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn't worth living.

More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn't a weakness and you can't simply "snap out" of it. Depression may require long-term treatment. But don't get discouraged. Most people with depression feel better with medication, psychotherapy or both.

How to Protect Children from Parental Alienation?

Dr. Nisha Khanna 88% (51 ratings)
Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
How to Protect Children from Parental Alienation?

One of the scariest fallouts of divorce is parental alienation for the child. In most cases, the custody of the child is passed on to the mother. In such cases, the child is very likely to be separated from the father. The child can develop a sense of alienation towards his father. The reverse is also true. Sometimes the feeling develops to such an extent that the child may refuse to meet the father or mother at all. This is the tragic fallout of a toxic divorce. 

Why It Happens

Parental alienation is common to children of divorced partners. Divorce alters the family structure dramatically. Children don’t have any say or control over such changes. They love both their parents and want to stay with both of them. Although many parents understand this, there are some that don’t. These are the people who stoke parental alienation in their children.

In their zeal to win over the confidence of their children, some parents take stern measures. They take recourse to measures like keeping the child away from its father/mother or speaking badly about the former partner in the presence of their children. Such measures can strike a sense of hatred among children about their father or mother. If one partner continues to engage in such activities, the child may develop a deep sense of alienation towards his separated father or mother. Parents should not use their children to fulfil an urge for vengeance on their former partners.

Immediate Requirement

The need of the hour is to protect children from parental alienation irrespective of the toxicity between the parents. However, protecting children from such abuse is easier said than done.

How to Protect Children from Parental Alienation?

Ways to help a child from parental alienation depends on the age of the child to a large extent. If the child has come out of its infancy and is able to learn and retain things, one needs to maintain the following:

  • Don’t ever speak badly of former partner, especially in front of the child.

  • Don’t ever try to go one up above the other partner, especially with gifts or punishments.

  • One needs to love the child unconditionally. Children love their parents unconditionally and parents need to reciprocate that in order to be in their reckoning.

  • If the person blames his/her children for something or the other, he or she may develop a sense of alienation.

  • Reminisce the fun times with the child. If possible, get together with a former partner and spend some happy moments.

  • One needs to be on time for routine visits with former partners. Children look forward to such visits. Dithering with such visits with children may develop a sense of parental alienation.

Parental alienation is one of the most difficult situations for children to deal with. They go through a mix of emotions, which is why both parents should understand the impact of divorce or separation on their children. It can even spoil the personality of the child. One should always comfort his/her child and avoid situations where a child needs to choose one of the parents.

1748 people found this helpful

Overcoming Depression!

Dr. N A Khan (Unani Specialist) 91% (819 ratings)
Doctor In Unani Medicine(D.U.M.B.I.M)
Sexologist, Delhi
Overcoming Depression!

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn't worth living.

More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn't a weakness and you can't simply "snap out" of it. Depression may require long-term treatment. But don't get discouraged. Most people with depression feel better with medication, psychotherapy or both.

Psychiatric Disorder - 5 Silent Signs Of It!

Dr. (Major) Sriniwas Gupta 91% (605 ratings)
MD- Psychiatry
Psychiatrist, Aurangabad
Psychiatric Disorder - 5 Silent Signs Of It!

Psychiatric disorders like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia do not appear all of a sudden. There are small changes that happen to an individual over a long period of time until the disease fully develops. These signs and symptoms might be too subtle in the early stage for other people to notice until they become obvious. But an early detection of any irregularity proves to be more beneficial for the patient in the long run.

It is important to know the telltale symptoms of mental disorder to distinguish between what is regular and what is not.

1. Withdrawal

Everyone needs some quiet time to cool off and relax but if a person continuously withdraws him/herself from social occasions and avoids meeting or speaking to friends, it could be a sign that something is wrong. Losing interest in life, work and people are symptoms of depression and psychotic disorder.

2. Thinking problems

Having trouble concentrating, remembering, understanding and explaining oneself in a coherent manner are some common signs of mental disorder.

3. Anxiety

Excessive stress and anxious behavior for a prolonged period are not normal. Frequent heart palpitations, headache, shortness of breath, racing mind and restlessness are cries of help that need to be heard.

4. Emotional outbursts

Sudden dramatic outbursts for no apparent reason, frequent mood swings and feeling distressed are potent signs of mental illnesses. These kinds of behavior are seen as part of a person's nature and so they are often unnoticed.

5. Changes in appetite and sleeping patterns

Oversleeping may be a sign of depression and insomnia could be a sign of anxiety. Changes in appetite and not caring about oneself or the world are indicators of a mental problem.

2445 people found this helpful

5 Reasons Of Sibling Rivalry!

Dr. Nisha Khanna 88% (51 ratings)
Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi

From the perspective of a brother-sister relationship

The relationship between siblings is quite a special one; they share the same childhood, in the same home, with the same parents. Having each other’s back, sharing and keeping all the secrets. But just like every relationship, even this one has its ups and downs. Even though there is a protective, caring and an affectionate relationship between the brother and sister, yet at times there are various differences that occur within the relation, and hamper the bond. The sibling rivalry between the brother-sister relationship can be a major factor affecting the bond.

The sibling rivalry manifests even before the birth of the second child, resulting in the child to feel being neglected by the parents, being jealous of the sibling and making numerous attempts to seek the attention of the parentsParental treatment, birth order and personality of the child majorly play role in sibling rivalry. It’s more intense when both the children are intellectually gifted. It can occur in the same gender also. Such rivalry usually continues throughout childhood and can be very frustrating and stressful to parents. Various reasons are found to be responsible for sibling rivalry, some of them are:

  1. In our society, we still discriminate vastly between the genders. The everyday household tasks such as cleaning, cooking, washing are generally given to the female, while the responsibility for the males is to provide monetary fund and be the pillar in supporting the family. This has an impact on the siblings at an early age, leading to a perception of supremacy associated with masculinity.
  2. The parents giving various kinds of perks and liberties to the child, such as sufficient monetary fund being saved for the education of the male child or the marriage of the girl child, resulting into jealousy or angertowards the opposite gender sibling. At times even extra allowances such as freedom to travel alone even during the odd hours can create differences.
  3. Even though female might have the same level of competence as the male child, the stigma created by the society puts them in a very disadvantageous situation. Most Indian families have the belief that females do not have an exposure to the real world or are not equally intelligent, thus depriving them of the right to speak during the family decision making process.
  4. Even comparing the two siblings by the parents has a similar harmful consequence, including the competition to succeed and prove their self-worth. Competition and Comparison between the siblings can occur when they see that the child with more marks, positive behaviour, and more obedience is appreciated by the parents.
  5. At times the differences between the siblings are also shaped after the marriage of either or both the siblings. The addition of a new member results in the creation of the division of attention and love, creating more the grievances between the siblings.

At times, the need for parental attention by the sibling is so much that they pick up fights with the sibling. It becomes important for the parents to help their child develop in a way that they maturely handle the shared parental attention as well as get along with each other. When the parents are unable to handle the situation, it is advisable to seek for professional help.

Sexual Problems And Depression!

Dr. N A Khan (Unani Specialist) 91% (819 ratings)
Doctor In Unani Medicine(D.U.M.B.I.M)
Sexologist, Delhi
Sexual Problems And Depression!

Sexual Problems and Depression

If you are clinically depressed and also experiencing sexual problems, you're not alone. Sexual problems, such as erectile dysfunction (ED) or an inability to have an orgasm, often co-exist with depression. The good news is that doctors can usually treat sexual problems that are related to depression.

What is the connection between sexual problems and depression?
Think of the brain as a highly sensitive sex organ. Sexual desire starts in the brain and works its way down. That's because of special brain chemicals known as neurotransmitters. These chemicals increase communication between brain cells and trigger more blood flow to the sex organs. The problem is, with depression and other mood disorders, the brain circuits that communicate using these chemicals don't function properly.

Many men and women with depression tell of having low or no sexual desire. And that puts a tremendous strain on intimate relationships

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