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Kill The Anger Before It Kills You!

Dr. Mansi Arya 87% (63 ratings)
BHMS, C.S.D.(Skin Diseases), M.D.(Medicine), M.Sc. In Counselling & Psychotherapy
Homeopath, Delhi  •  12 years experience
Kill The Anger Before It Kills You!

Anger is one of the most common negative emotions, in that when a person is upset or frustrated over somebody or something, it manifests as anger. Though we may not notice on a routine basis, there are various forms of anger and it has a lot of negative effect on the overall physical and emotional health. Some people also are more prone to feel angry and manifest it openly, who is known as “short-tempered.” Read on to know more about anger and how to manage anger effectively.

In today’s world though, you cannot throw a fit of rage and say it is because of your short-tempered nature. There are extreme instances of violence triggered by anger, so it is necessary to learn to conquer your anger. 

DIFFERENT PEOPLE RESPOND TO ANGER IN DIFFERENT WAYS, COMMONLY AS:

  1. Verbal anger: The person who is angry, abuses the other person or sometimes throws rage at a totally different person to vent out the anger. 
  2. Passive anger: Though these people are less expressive when angry, they show their anger through sarcasm directed at the person who induced anger. 
  3. Self-inflicted Anger: These people inflict anger on themselves through self-harm acts like minor cuts, bruises, beating oneself, digging nails into their flesh or burns to release their anger.

SYMPTOMS OF ANGER AND AGGRESSION 
We may respond to anger in physical and psychological ways such as those listed below:

  1. Anger – physical responses: increased heart rate and blood pressure, sweating, muscle tension, clenched jaw 
  2. Anger – psychological responses: feelings of frustration, feelings of rejection, feelings of mistreatment, hostility towards some people 
  3. Aggression: shouting at people (e.g. family, colleagues, strangers, physical violence (e.g. hitting, punching people or slamming doors), ignoring or socially excluding others (passive aggression)

WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE SHORT-TEMPERED
Some people really are more impetuous than others. They get aggressive more easily and more intensely as compared to others. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. People who are easily angered don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they get off socially, sulk, drink/smoke or get physically ill.

Easily angered people generally have what we call as "A low tolerance for frustration, aggravations and hassles of daily living" and sometimes overreact to the many common problems of daily living. They feel that they should not be subjected to frustration, annoyance, or inconvenience. They can't take things in stride, and are particularly infuriated if the situation in some way seems illogical: for example, such people might be miffed on being corrected for even a minor blunder. 

HOW ANGER AFFECTS OUR LIVES

Physical effects of anger: Anger triggers the body’s ‘fight or flight’ response. Other emotions that trigger this response include anxiety, fear and excitement. The adrenal glands flood the body with stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. The brain shunts blood away from the gut and towards the muscles, in preparation for physical exertion. Heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increase, the body temperature rises and the skin perspires. The mind is sharpened and focused.

Health problems with anger: The constant flood of stress chemicals and associated metabolic changes that go with recurrent unmanaged anger can eventually cause harm to many different systems of the body. Some of the short and long-term health problems that have been linked to unmanaged anger include: 

  1. Headache 
  2. Insomnia 
  3. Digestion problems, such as abdominal pain 
  4. Increased anxiety 
  5. High blood pressure 
  6. Depression 
  7. Heart attack 
  8. Stroke 
  9. Skin problems, such as eczema

IMPACT OF ANGER ON OUR RELATIONS

  1. Anger at home: Anger is a normal emotion but not being able to control your anger at home can damage your personal relationships. When you get angry, it stresses your partner out and breaks the trust in your relationship. When it comes to children, shouting at them can confuse them and make them afraid of you. In the long run, this can affect their social skills.
  2. Anger at the workplace: Getting angry at your workplace can reduce your productivity and harm your relationships with your colleagues. The angrier you get in the office, the more your colleagues and clients will avoid you. Thus, you may risk missing out on crucial teamwork projects that can affect your career growth. A reputation for anger can also make you a target for revenge and lawsuits.
  3. Anger in society: Nobody wants to interact with a person who has a reputation for getting easily offended and angered. Thus the angrier you get, the more your friends will keep away from you. This can be quite frustrating and can make you an even angrier person. Uncontrolled anger can also lead to physical outbursts that can put you in trouble with the law.

Anger is a strong and powerful emotion. If it isn’t handled appropriately, it may have destructive results for you and those closest to you. Uncontrolled anger can lead to arguments, physical abuse, physical fights, self-harm and assault. On the other hand, well-managed anger can be a useful emotion that motivates you to make positive changes

ANGER MANAGEMENT - SUGGESTIONS FOR LONG-TERM ANGER MANAGMENT 
The way you typically express anger may take some time to modify. Suggestions include:

  1. Keep a diary of your anger outbursts, to try and understand how and why you get mad. 
  2. Learn relaxation techniques, such as meditation or yoga
  3. Consider assertiveness training, or learning about techniques of conflict resolution. 
  4. See a counsellor or psychologist if you still feel angry about events that occurred in your past. 
  5. Exercise regularly.

BENEFITS OF REGULAR EXERCISE IN MOOD MANAGEMENT
People who are stressed are more likely to experience anger. Studies have documented that regular exercise can reduce stress levels and improve one's mood. This may be because physical exertion burns up stress chemicals, and it also boosts production of mood-regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, including endorphins and catecholamines.

TEACHING CHILDREN HOW TO EXPRESS ANGER
Expressing anger appropriately is a learned behaviour. Suggestions on helping your child to deal with strong feelings include:

  1. Lead by example. 
  2. Treat your child’s feelings with respect. 
  3. Let them know that anger is natural and should be expressed appropriately. 
  4. Teach practical problem-solving skills. 
  5. Encourage open and honest communication in the home. 
  6. Explain the difference between aggression and anger. 
  7. Teach your child different ways of calming and soothing themselves. 
  8. Punish aggression or violence, but not appropriately expressed anger. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Homeopath.
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