Hello, doctor I really dont know from where to start m married since December 2012 after marriage our 1st year of married life is going on very well but after 1 year everything has changed we both have lots of fights arguments upon small small things and my husband always end up all this thing by saying let's get separate I want to give you divorce or go back to your mother's place but always it's me who dont want to end dis relationship cos I truly luv him a lot he also luv me alot but I dont know why he always demand for separation. Our marriage is love marriage we both r long distance cousin we know each other from childhood earlier we used to be a good friend den one day he proposed me nd after dat we got married but he also sometimes regret dat day dat why he proposed me he also say dat it was his life biggest mistake. M not a good wife I dont know anything I sometimes feel like killing my self but m coward I m scared to do so. Dont know how to settle all dis thing again cos for him I hardly matters. I just can not say all dis thing to any one neither to my family member nor to my friends. Cos I just dnt want to put a negative picture of after married life in front of any one nad also I luv him soo much dat I dnt want dat my family or friends feel dat he is a bad guy. Please I need some guidance I realy need to know what possible things I can do to put everything back on tracks again. Thanks.
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Let me be very very honest and straightforward in my approach! The fact that you had a love marriage and you want this marriage to continue suggests that you love your husband and he does too. There is no formula by which you can avoid dis harmonies in life. Differences in opinion are always going to be there. Both you and your husband should rather stop blaming each other and settle down to findings healthier ways to resolve differences in a much matured way. It is usually stress, anxiety, depression and one's personality which makes one vulnerable to react in a way which one doesnot actually want to or is it expected to. There is no bravery in committing suicide, in fact it is just a timid escape. Also negative thoughts and death wishes point to depression in you. I strongly suggest you to get evaluated for hormonal imbalances and start treatment for depressive symptoms. Also I suggest you and your husband to undergo counseling under a trained psychotherapist. Contact me online fir further assistance if you feel so.
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