About a year ago i had a breakup, since then i have been suffering from depression, or so I presume, i have consulted counselors, tried everything possible to feel better, right from going out with friends, to eating healthy, taking adequate amount of sleep and whatever I could possibly do, however, i somehow have not been able to cope up with this,i still feel very low, i get zoned out, do not feel like doing anything, i just have developed a very gloomy attitude towards life. Please Help!

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist48yrs exp

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It is then established that this breakup was the cause. And you have tried most of what we would recommend to get out of this state. So, I won?t waste time on those considerations. I am going to wager a guess, and if I am completely off the mark, kindly excuse me. However, you can write again and clarify where I have gone wrong. So, here goes: I think that you may have had a poor relationship with your primary caretaker (your mom and sometimes father, though the later happens at a little later age) in early childhood and you are suffering from some dependency issues, which will concern trust, and acceptance needs. As a result you may have gotten into a symbiosis with your boyfriend trying to re-establish that failed relationship, somehow looking to resolve it. It won?t work because it is the wrong person and the relationship is based on a romantic one, with completely different agendas. If the other person is in the know of this need, he may perhaps help you fulfill that need but it will still have some major drawbacks in the actual working out of it. In that case, you will inadvertently become too clingy, controlling, demanding and tend to act in a regressed manner or even act with silly behaviors. Makes any sense? If this does, go and meet with a counselor and work out these unresolved childhood needs before venturing into a romantic relationship. 

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