5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

When Should You Use Viagra?

Viagra is a very common drug prescribed for treating erectile dysfunction. It works by enhancing the flow of blood to the penis during sexual intercourse to bring about erection. Viagra actually contains the active ingredient Sildenafil Citrate which is a selective inhibitor of Cyclic Guanosine Monophosphate (cGMP)-specific phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5).

This drug works efficiently with sexual stimulation. Erectile dysfunction is very common among older men whose sexual function tends to fall after they reach their 50s. But these days even younger men in their 30's and 40's are experiencing an increased incidence of erectile dysfunction.

Doctors can even recommend the drug to both younger and elder men who suffer from erection problems.

Solidification of the arteries, the blood vessels that supply blood to the penis, can occur during the teen years. The problem then develops by the time they reach the age of 20-30 years and more, hindering their ability to get and maintain an erection. Men suffering from diabetes and facing the problem of Erectile dysfunction can be assisted by this drug.

The drug should be ideally taken an hour before the sexual intercourse.

On the other hand, you can also take Viagra half an hour to 4 hours before the sexual intercourse. You don't require having food in order to take the drug. But you need to keep in mind that if you take it after a meal high in fats, it can take a little bit longer for you to experience its effects.

Most importantly, the misuse of Viagra should be avoided. It should be taken only under medical supervision. The drug doesn't have the power to help you ejaculate easily if you suffer from problems related to orgasm or even enhance your sexual appetite. It does not enhance sexual timing, so should not be used to treat premature ejaculation. Men also shouldn't expect the drug to take the erections to unexpected heights.

Word of Caution:

One should never take the drug for recreational purposes. One can end up suffering from minor erectile dysfunction due such abuse.



When Should You Use Viagra?

6 Symptoms of Low Testosterone

Testosterone is an important hormone for men and is responsible for male sexual and reproductive health. It begins to spike during the years of puberty, helping in development of primary and secondary sexual characters. In boys, it helps to build muscles, deepens his voice, and boosts the size of their penis and testes. It plays an important role during later years as well, by maintaining mood, libido, emotional and physical health. That’s why low testosterone can cause a variety of problems in men. 

Here is a list of symptoms that will help you understand if you may have lower testosterone levels.

1. Drop in Energy: Sometimes, we all feel full of energy, but sometimes those energy levels are quite low. And then, there are occasions when we feel low on energy, you may feel that you are getting tired easily and frequently. Fatigue is one of the common effects of low testosterone. If this happens with you regularly, if you are tired all the time despite sleeping for 6-8 hours, consider getting yourself checked by a consultant.

2. Changes in Sex Life: A sudden drop in your sex drive or facing problems in erection (erectile dysfunction) can be another  common symptom of low testosterone. But you should get yourself tested for other conditions as well, including heart disease or diabetes, especially if you are over 35 years of age. Ask for online consultation if you want everything to be private and discreet.
 
 3. Fuzzy Thinking: Do you sometimes think that your thoughts are a blur? Low testosterone can also impact your memory. It can make you feel stressed, sad and even depressed, resulting in concentration problems. These  can be a result of low testosterone

4. Mood Changes: Testosterone directly impacts your mood, even leading to extreme sadness or psychological depression. If nothing seems to make you happy, if you are not what you used to be, then visit a doctor.

5. Muscle Changes: Muscle mass and strength reduces over the years. As testosterone helps build muscle, low levels may be the cause if you witness sudden drop in muscle mass. In such a case you should consult a doctor. It can be because of low hormone function.

6. More Body Fat: If you have been enjoying a more fit or healthier weight most of your life but suddenly start gaining weight, it might point towards low testosterone in the body. Also, if you are unable to lose weight even on a healthy diet, consider consulting a doctor.



6 Symptoms of Lower Testosterone - Most Important Male Sex Hormone

All you need to know about Premature Ejaculation

Many of the sexual issues are primarily not big problems. However, because of the taboo and inhibition around them, they are not discussed openly, hence they also fail to get resolved and become bigger. In fact most of the times there are no visible symptoms of any functional problems. Many of them are very basic issues and because of ignorance, myths, and social taboos lead to development of anxieties, distress and further worsening of the problem.

Often men are concerned about their performance in bed with their partner. They worry about- how best then can do, masturbation habits, size of penis and sperm quality. 

Consequences of Premature ejaculation (PE): 
Both you and your partner may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can significantly increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 

PE is one such sexual issue. It's not a disease; Not at all..!! 
If a person is sexually fit and experiences normal erections but just fail to hold the orgasm/ discharge for reasonable time then he is suffering from premature ejaculation. It's  a very normal problem, which if managed properly it can be easily resolved.

We will discuss this PE in 4 parts covering: what it is in actual, how does it happen, how to approach to resolve this problem with behavioural methods, exercise, techniques and medical remedies present in both modern and alternative medicine. 
Let s understand the problem in this 1st part!

What is Premature Ejaculation? 

Premature (early) ejaculation also referred to as rapid ejaculation; also called as early discharge. 
PE is the most common type of sexual dysfunction in men younger than 40 years and seen across all age groups. In elderly men (>60 years) erectile dysfunction is more common. A study conducted by the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed that this condition is almost equally prevalent in sexually active men of all age groups. 
If a man experiences uncontrollable ejaculation (discharge of semen from your penis) either before or shortly after sexual penetration (usually within 1-2 minutes of penetration), he may be suffering from PE. The Mayo clinic at the United States defines PE as a condition in which  a man  always or nearly always ejaculates within one minute of penetration."

Instances of PE:
An occasional instance of premature ejaculation might not be cause of concern, but, if the problem occurs more than 50% of attempted sexual relations signifies existence of abnormal pattern for which treatment is required.

Premature ejaculation takes place with negligible sexual stimulation and even before the desire 
to ejaculate. Another way of describing PE by most therapist or clinicians is the occurrence of ejaculation sooner during sexual intercourse than he or his partner would like. 

This broad definition thus avoids specifying a precise  normal  duration for sexual activity and reaching a climax. The duration of sexual activity is highly variable and depends on various factors specific to each individual. Take a situation, a male may reach orgasm after 7 to 8 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner is able to achieve climax mostly in 5 minutes and both are satisfied with this timing, then this is not defined as PE. 

Alternatively, a male might delay his ejaculation for up to 15- 20 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner, even with foreplay, requires 25-30 minutes of total sexual activity before reaching climax, he may still consider his ejaculation premature because his partner has not been satisfied (at least, not through intercourse). But in routine practice this kind of situation is NOT called as PE. So every individual and every couple is unique. Same individual may have different sexual behaviour with different partners and different circumstances. Varied situations and varied places of performing the act have a vital role to play in determining the outcomes of individual sexual performance/s.



Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 1: Understanding What is PE

Why you must try kegel exercises for an amazing sex life!

Kegel exercise, also known as pelvic floor exercise, is the repeated contraction and relaxation of the pelvic floor, which is the muscular base of the abdomen connected to the pelvis. These simple exercises are proven to enhance the functioning of the pelvic organs and improve sexual health. How you ask? read on to find out.

Both men and women can improve their sex life to a great extent by practicing Kegels.

How does it improve sexual function in women?

 tones and strengthens the vaginal muscles that boost arousal

 causes a tighter grip during intercourse

 leads to more intense contractions during orgasm

How does it improve sexual function in men?

 allows for men to have stronger, long-lasting erections

 keeps the hips and pelvic region healthy

 leads to greater control over ejaculation

 prevents the occurrence of erectile dysfunction

How does kegel exercise betters sex life?

To get started on kegel exercises for a better and healthier sex life, follow these simple steps:

1. Locating the right muscles: the most important part of doing kegel exercises is locating the pleasure-maxing muscles in the pelvic region. This can be done by stopping urination midstream or blocking the passage of gas. Once you've successfully managed to identify the target muscles, kegel exercises can be done anywhere at any time.

2. Staying focused: it is important to stay focused on exercising the pelvic floor muscles. Easy breathing while doing the exercise and keeping from flexing other muscles in the abdomen and buttocks are necessary parts of the routine.

3. Sharpening the technique: practice tightening and releasing the pelvic floor muscles till you have perfected the technique, working up to a 10-second hold before releasing and relaxing for 10 seconds between each contraction.

Repeat daily

Get into a regimen doing 10 to 20 kegel exercises three times a day, holding each one for 10 seconds.

Kegel exercises will not only improve your sex life, but also combat disorders of the bladder and lower intestines. Plus, they've been proven to enhance orgasms, turning them into more frequent occurrences than before.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: 5 Do's + Don'ts for a Healthy Sex Life

Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for an AMAZING Sex Life!

Why do men and women respond differently after sex?

Men and women look differently, act differently, dress differently and even communicate in dissimilar ways. Therefore, it's no surprise that their reaction to sex should be different. While men's minds and genitals are usually in alignment, women are less likely to have a link between their mind and genital area. This is because of one of the most complex creations of nature is the human brain, and there are subtle differences in its reactions to different things for both men and women.

How different are the reactions of both the genders to sex?

A study carried out by a psychology professor at queen's university, Meredith chiversk, revealed that while in men the mind and body seem to be in tune with each other, a woman's mind and genitals sometimes respond oppositely to sexual arousal.

What is the reason for this difference in responding?

Firstly, in the case of women, oxytocin (also known as intimacy/cuddle hormone) is released during sex and this hormone encourages bonding and empathy, which leads to an increased feeling of bonding and intimacy.

In the case of men the brain releases more of a hormone, which can make them susceptible to sex addiction. When a man has an orgasm, the main hormone which is released is dopamine (pleasure hormone) and this surge can be addictive.

Men's arousal pattern has repeatedly emphasized their sensitivity to visual stimuli. As soon as the lust-inspiring image registers in their brain, they become turned on, not only physically but also psychologically. Exposure to such erotic stimuli immediately activates that part of their brain that is related to getting an erection. Women, on the other hand, react differently to different stimuli, with their responses varying from emotional to sexual or a mix of both.

The study made use of a total of 134 previous studies of which approximately 1, 900 men and 2, 500 women were a part to come to this conclusion.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Tip: 8 Unbelievable Health Benefits of Masturbation

Why Do Men and Women Respond Differently After Sex?

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