3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

Here is a list of 3 scientifically proven ways of increasing intimacy with your partner.

1. Look them in the eye and tell them all about yourself

Self-disclosure is an important part of relationships, especially during the initial phase. However, gradually as people feel that they've known enough about each other, communication seems to come to a standstill.

But the actual reason for this is not the lack of things to talk about but resistance which arises out of a feeling of vulnerability. It mostly happens in established relationships because both the partners do not wish to break past the certainty and assurance.

Therefore, the revealing part that may lead to some changes in perception is often skipped. However, not doing so and truly communicating with your partner can help you in increasing intimacy and having a deeper connection with your partner.

2. Share the laughter

Sharing the joy and the humorous experiences is a great way of increasing intimacy with your partner. Since every person's sense of humour is different, humour is a deeply personal aspect of your personality. Therefore, when you share genuine laughter with your partner that is when your sense of humour matches with each other, it improves your understanding and builds intimacy.

3. Tell them how you feel and know how they feel

It is extremely important for you to talk with your partner about how you feel - not just about the relationship, but about other important aspects of your life as well. If conflicts are dealt with by discussing how you feel about them and not on the lines of rationality, you end up feeling more intimate with your partner. Honestly discussing and exchanging your feelings is an amazing way of increasing your intimacy with your partner.



3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

Resuming sex post pregnancy can take some time as the woman has to go through the initial phase of vaginal soreness and perpetual exhaustion before she can think of having sex. Whether a woman gives birth vaginally or through cesarian section, her body will require time to heal itself; and it is advisable to have intercourse six weeks after childbirth. 

Here are some of the common sex problems post-pregnancy.

1) An eager partner - Your partner might be ready for sexual intercourse but you are not. Even if it is six weeks after giving birth, when the wound inside has mostly healed and perhaps you're not sore anymore, you still may not want to have sex. This is because the hormones in your body are drastically changing, and the uterus is gradually shrinking and your episiotomy wound is progressively healing. In such situations, one should take it slow. Cuddling, kissing and spooning are some of the ways closeness can be fostered.

2) Delicate and tender breasts - Breasts may become sore, heavy and leaky due to nursing your baby. And it is natural that after breastfeeding the whole day, one may want them to be left alone at night. Wearing a nursing top or a tank top during sex is advised. Nursing your baby right before sex can also help as your breasts won't be as full and achy.

3) Sex won't feel the same - It is natural that after delivering a baby, sex won't feel exactly the same. This is because the vaginal muscles would be temporarily stretched out. And there is a chance of temporary soreness and inflammation within the vagina. Kegel exercises may help to get back on track.

So, in case you're a woman and felt strange about not being up for sex post your pregnancy, there's absolutely nothing to be stressed about. And men, if you are reading this tip, your woman needs you to understand her even more after her becoming a mother; so, treat her with utmost care.



3 Things You Need to Know about Post-Pregnancy Sex

Foods that kill sex drive in men
 
Do you wonder why suddenly at times you go on a zero sex drive? it could happen even when your chemistry with your partner is fine, nothing is heaving on your mind, and you are otherwise healthy too. Only you just don't feel like having sex. This might have to do with what you are eating. 
Here are some of the foods which can kill your sex drive.

1. Diet soda - while staying fit is an excellent idea, drinking diet sodas with artificial sweeteners can be absolute mood killers as they directly affect the levels of serotonin, a hormone which assists you in reaching the zone.
2. Caffeine - it certainly increases stamina for sex. However, for someone who is already nervous, this would mean increased anxiety which in turn would lower the sex drive. Overdose of coffee is known to increase one's stress hormone levels, too, affecting one's sex drive.
3. Chocolate - this is surprising since chocolate is known as an aphrodisiac. A study has shown that since it stimulates love and euphoria, it might also suppress, at times the testosterone levels in the body.
4. Mint - while mint is a good way to clear your breath after a meal, the menthol in it is also known to lower the testosterone. This lowers your sex drive.
5. Popcorn - when popcorn is made in the microwave and eaten, it could totally kill the mood for sex, especially in men. Research suggests that the bag's lining has chemicals which kill sex drive and in the long term can also cause prostrate problems.
6. Cheese - if made of cow's milk, cheese contains a lot of synthetic hormones which are known to mess with human body's natural hormone production that primarily includes testosterone and estrogen.


Did You Know These Shocking Foods Kill Sex Drive In Men?

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Did you know keeping your private parts clean can avoid major health issues?

Private parts not only make or break intimacy but also also affect your overall health. Men and women - both need to keep them clean. Here are 5 things that you need to religiously follow.

1) Wash them everyday - In case you are not washing your private parts every day, let me share with you that it is a must-do! Your private parts are moist and house many bacteria. You can use soap to wash but an unscented or mild one. Wash them with lukewarm and clean water.

2) Clean them up before and after sex - Cleaning your private parts before and after sex is of great importance. Before sex because of etiquette. And, after sex for a healthy sexual life ahead! The body fluids or semen which gather on and near your reproductive organs, if not washed can harbour the growth of bad bacteria and set a stage for infections.

3) Groom them well - Untrimmed hair around the private parts is highly unhygienic. It can lead to too much of itching, increasing the chances of infection.

4) Wear fresh undergarments everyday - Unwashed shirts can do but unwashed boxer or briefs is a big no-no. You need to keep your underwears clean &amp; dry. Wear a fresh and clean undergarment every day. Changing your briefs after masturbation, sex, work-outs in gym is also highly recommended.

5) Don't delay visit to a doctor - If you are experiencing any sort of irritation, itching, redness, odour, swelling or other form of discomfort please do not delay in consulting a doctor. It can be a sign of a serious health problem or a severe infection.

5 Sexual Hygiene Musts For Men And Women

All you need to know about Premature Ejaculation

Many of the sexual issues are primarily not big problems. However, because of the taboo and inhibition around them, they are not discussed openly, hence they also fail to get resolved and become bigger. In fact most of the times there are no visible symptoms of any functional problems. Many of them are very basic issues and because of ignorance, myths, and social taboos lead to development of anxieties, distress and further worsening of the problem.

Often men are concerned about their performance in bed with their partner. They worry about- how best then can do, masturbation habits, size of penis and sperm quality. 

Consequences of Premature ejaculation (PE): 
Both you and your partner may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can significantly increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 

PE is one such sexual issue. It's not a disease; Not at all..!! 
If a person is sexually fit and experiences normal erections but just fail to hold the orgasm/ discharge for reasonable time then he is suffering from premature ejaculation. It's  a very normal problem, which if managed properly it can be easily resolved.

We will discuss this PE in 4 parts covering: what it is in actual, how does it happen, how to approach to resolve this problem with behavioural methods, exercise, techniques and medical remedies present in both modern and alternative medicine. 
Let s understand the problem in this 1st part!

What is Premature Ejaculation? 

Premature (early) ejaculation also referred to as rapid ejaculation; also called as early discharge. 
PE is the most common type of sexual dysfunction in men younger than 40 years and seen across all age groups. In elderly men (>60 years) erectile dysfunction is more common. A study conducted by the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed that this condition is almost equally prevalent in sexually active men of all age groups. 
If a man experiences uncontrollable ejaculation (discharge of semen from your penis) either before or shortly after sexual penetration (usually within 1-2 minutes of penetration), he may be suffering from PE. The Mayo clinic at the United States defines PE as a condition in which  a man  always or nearly always ejaculates within one minute of penetration."

Instances of PE:
An occasional instance of premature ejaculation might not be cause of concern, but, if the problem occurs more than 50% of attempted sexual relations signifies existence of abnormal pattern for which treatment is required.

Premature ejaculation takes place with negligible sexual stimulation and even before the desire 
to ejaculate. Another way of describing PE by most therapist or clinicians is the occurrence of ejaculation sooner during sexual intercourse than he or his partner would like. 

This broad definition thus avoids specifying a precise  normal  duration for sexual activity and reaching a climax. The duration of sexual activity is highly variable and depends on various factors specific to each individual. Take a situation, a male may reach orgasm after 7 to 8 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner is able to achieve climax mostly in 5 minutes and both are satisfied with this timing, then this is not defined as PE. 

Alternatively, a male might delay his ejaculation for up to 15- 20 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner, even with foreplay, requires 25-30 minutes of total sexual activity before reaching climax, he may still consider his ejaculation premature because his partner has not been satisfied (at least, not through intercourse). But in routine practice this kind of situation is NOT called as PE. So every individual and every couple is unique. Same individual may have different sexual behaviour with different partners and different circumstances. Varied situations and varied places of performing the act have a vital role to play in determining the outcomes of individual sexual performance/s.



Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 1: Understanding What is PE

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