8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life - Sex is probably the most important part of a relationship along with compatibility, trust and comfort. To make your relationship stronger and deeper, happiness in sex life is crucial. It must be the part of your life that you always look forward to and that brings the two of you together irrespective of the way your days go.

Follow these simple protocol to make for a happy sex life and therefore a happy life.

1) Believe you are sexy - Stop undermining yourself. You are sexy, accept it. And believe that your partner gets turned on by you. When you believe that your partner finds you sexy, you will be more interested in sex and so will your partner be.

2) Believe in the little gestures - Sex is not always awesome while you are in the act. The build up through the day can be made with the simplest of actions. A meaningful touch on the breakfast table, a mid-day text saying you miss him and an intimate evening message, or simply holding hands while shopping for grocery, all add up to build the connection between both of you.

3) Focus on the positive - Tell your partner what he does that you like. The kiss on the nape or how their breathe on your skin makes your senses tingle ? tell that. When your partner knows what you like, your bedroom experiments can take interesting turns. Always help your partner focus gently to what gives you pleasure.

4) Make time for sex - When new in a relationship, couples tend to have more sex and the frequency diminishes once they are comfortable in the situation. Avoid this; sex should be in your priority list at all times. Sex indeed should be a natural event. However, our lifestyles don't permit it. Also, there are too many distractions. If you need to schedule sex, it's okay. The idea is to indulge in it. You both have your needs and they should be fulfilled, right?

5) Fantasize - One great way to keep the passion alive is to share your fantasies. Doesn't matter how dirty it is, don't worry about what your partner will think. Far from judging, you yourself might realize something new about your partner. Chances are, that you might love the fantasies you both talk about.

6) Take it easy -  In real life, it is okay to not be perfect, to stop to catch breath and be real. To be happy with your sex life doesn't mean having spectacular sex every time. More than how you perform, it is how the experience was for both of you. Enjoy the process, it is for real.

7) Be responsive - Respond, even if you are not in the mood. Don't shun your partner because you are not in the mood. But if one of you wants to have sex, pushing them away is not a good idea. And if you still don't want to go ahead, explain that it's not them, but the time and plan to connect some time in near future.

8) Be willing to have sex - If you would rather watch tv all day rather than have sex and then do it nevertheless just because your partner initiated it, they would know. Never make your partner feel that you are having sex out of obligation. This is a mood killer and a guarantee for low satisfaction derived. Make sex an enjoyable affair, think what all you like and show them to your partner. 

If you have any further questions on sexual health, ask me by clicking on 'Consult'.

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Having Better Sex - 8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life

Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

Foods that kill sex drive in men
 
Do you wonder why suddenly at times you go on a zero sex drive? it could happen even when your chemistry with your partner is fine, nothing is heaving on your mind, and you are otherwise healthy too. Only you just don't feel like having sex. This might have to do with what you are eating. 
Here are some of the foods which can kill your sex drive.

1. Diet soda - while staying fit is an excellent idea, drinking diet sodas with artificial sweeteners can be absolute mood killers as they directly affect the levels of serotonin, a hormone which assists you in reaching the zone.
2. Caffeine - it certainly increases stamina for sex. However, for someone who is already nervous, this would mean increased anxiety which in turn would lower the sex drive. Overdose of coffee is known to increase one's stress hormone levels, too, affecting one's sex drive.
3. Chocolate - this is surprising since chocolate is known as an aphrodisiac. A study has shown that since it stimulates love and euphoria, it might also suppress, at times the testosterone levels in the body.
4. Mint - while mint is a good way to clear your breath after a meal, the menthol in it is also known to lower the testosterone. This lowers your sex drive.
5. Popcorn - when popcorn is made in the microwave and eaten, it could totally kill the mood for sex, especially in men. Research suggests that the bag's lining has chemicals which kill sex drive and in the long term can also cause prostrate problems.
6. Cheese - if made of cow's milk, cheese contains a lot of synthetic hormones which are known to mess with human body's natural hormone production that primarily includes testosterone and estrogen.


Did You Know These Shocking Foods Kill Sex Drive In Men?

Does watching porn together help you have a better sex life?

It is often said that the couples who do most day-to-day activities together are more committed towards each other. But does the same stand true when it comes to watching sexual content or pornography? Well, research certainly seems to indicate that, with a whopping 96% couples watch pornography together. Here are some pros and cons of viewing porn with your partner.

PROs-

1.  It may help you both in discovering your sexual preferences
It is important for both you and your partner to be on the same page when it comes to discovering your sexuality and figuring out each other’s sexual preferences. Just like adolescent sex education, pornography too educates you about the mechanics of sexual play. It is a useful tool that brings out the kinky side in you and makes you more open to discussions on things that pique your curiosity in the bedroom. As and when you see such visual imagery, it may appeal to you enough to try it out with your partner. Discuss such desires with your partner. This may help you in discovering what really turns you and your partner on.

2. It may help you in maintaining sexual fidelity in your relationship
Watching porn together with your partner can potentially increase the intensity of physical attraction between the two of you.This, as a result, leads to greater gratification for both of you, and if you are sexually satisfied by your partner, you are less likely to look for pleasure outside your relationship. Also, it is way healthier to indulge in it as a team rather than discovering your partner watching porn alone.

3. It may help both of you to pick up newer positions
Porn has the ability to expose you to new and exciting positions you never knew. About 58% of couples who viewed pornography claimed that the shared activity had a positive effect on their sex lives. New moves and unique positions are known to spice up sex lives. Men can surprise their women (or vice versa) with an exotic move or two. Porn may also help in decreasing shyness and in opening up your minds so that you can pick up and practice new moves.

CONs-

Although porn viewing may consist of potential benefits, it may also affect your relationship adversely. When watched in excess, porn may cause certain problems in your relationship, which are-

1. It might set up wrong expectations in reality
Porn movies give you a warped view of what beauty is. It may cause you to have unrealistically higher expectations from your partner, whereas the reality may not match your imaginative hopes and standards. As a result, it may also lead to frustration, aggression and infidelity.

2. It may lead to pornography addiction
 The visual and physical appeal of porn may impact a person’s mental or social well-being. Increased porn viewing may hint at a person’s social isolation, loss of interest in career and other activities etc. It may also make you highly dependent on it, as it allows immediate sexual gratification. As a result the usage may go out of control and relate directly to compulsive behaviour.

3. It may affect your sexual drive and libido
Making love to your partner in real-life may become a foreign concept, as porn can decrease your physical drive with the possibility of making you sexually lazy. Porn may also have certain side effects including probable loss of libido and even difficulty in lasting longer. It may also make regular intercourse seem boring as it may not have the same sensual and visual appeal as pornography.
After realising its various pros and cons if you want to use porn, it is advisable to not use it as replacement but as an accessory for better sexual well-being.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Does Watching Porn Together Really Help You Have a Better Sex Life?

Sex tips every woman needs to know by the time she is 30
 
Thirty is more or less the age by which you can consider yourself a woman of the world. You have toiled hard to get into a comfortable space at work and are into a stable relationship as well. An important aspect to not ignore is your sexual life. Be equipped with the right ideas and ways to enjoy that aspect of your life.

Some facts and tips for the women of today.

1. Safety is foremost: meaningless hookups or otherwise - you cannot be careless; safety must be your priority. 

2. Express yourself: men are bad at guessing. They will not be able to guess what you like and how you like it. Tell the man exactly what you expect.

3. Live in the moment: a quickie is never a bad idea. Having frequent sex has its perks for your mood as well as overall health. An impromptu quickie will only put a spring to your steps.

4. Watch each other pleasuring self: it is not just for visual appeal, it is in fact educative - you get to study exactly what type of touch, speed, grip, etc gives him the most pleasure. He gets to know the same about you.

5. Take the initiative: most men like being shown that they are desired too. Why should he always initiate sex. Take the lead.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on consult.


Sex Facts Every Woman Needs To Know By The Time She Is 30

6 Dangerous Effects of Alcohol on Your Sexual Well-Being

While small amounts of alcohol do not have any effect on your sexual health, moderate amounts of drinking are known to cause problems in both men and women.

Let's take a look at the effect alcohol may have on your body and sex life:

1. It acts as a depressant - Acting as a depressant (a drug that reduces stimulation or arousal in various parts of the brain), alcohol inhibits certain areas of the central nervous system that are important for orgasm and arousal, more specifically - the circulation, respiration, and feeling of nerve endings.

2. It dehydrates your body - Sexual arousal requires an adequate supply of oxygen and flow of blood to the private areas so as enable you to experience the different sensations that accompany a sexual act. Adequate blood flow in the case of women is important for lubrication and in the case of men for developing and sustaining an erection. Less fluid in the body and a depressed nervous system can affect your sexual performance.

3. It's not an aphrodisiac if you go overboard - Several studies show that alcohol can help certain people to overcome feelings of deficiency or sexual reserve. This can only happen if you limit your consumption to only 1-2 drinks. If you go overboard, the depressant action of the drink begins to take effect preventing your body's ability to react sexually.

4. It causes fewer erections - Drinking large amounts of alcohol or even long-term drinking can cause erection problems to develop. Erectile dysfunction is said to occur when too much drinking causes dehydration leading to a decrease in blood volume and an increase in the angiotensin hormone, which is associated with ED. The likelihood of this occurring gets further increased if the body's central nervous system is unable to act in a natural way.

5. It leads to delayed ejaculation and orgasm - A 2004 study reveals that about 11% of alcohol users face difficulty in having an orgasm. While the men faced difficulty in ejaculating, women participants required more stimulation to reach an orgasm, compared to men and women who did not drink or drank little.

6. It causes vaginal dryness - The dehydrating effect that normally occurs if you drink a lot can also cause vaginal dryness. It causes a decrease in your sensations and hampers the production of vaginal secretions for sexual penetration, leading to painful sex.



6 Dangerous Effects of Alcohol on Your Sexual Well Being

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