Tips to last longer in bed
 
You cannot enjoy your sexual life to the fullest if you are unable to last long enough during the act of intercourse. And the primary reason for not being able to do so is not having a good stamina. However just like athletic activities, sexual performance can get a boost if you work on stamina and follow these simple ways to achieve the same.

1. Try pelvic floor exercises: common knowledge is that women or people with bladder issues need to do pelvic floor exercises. What is little known is that pelvic floor exercises can help men treat premature ejaculation.

2. Let there be setting of mood: a pregame is a great mood setter and however crazy this sounds, it actually can help you last longer. Get your partner to massage you. Guide her into how you would like it and take it slow instead of rushing into the act. Research also suggests that if the man masturbates some time before he has sex; he can last longer.

3. Be open to being lead: men usually prefer to be in charge but a lot of times, especially in the bed, a woman taking the charge can prove to be a great experience for both; particularly if you have any problem or stress. Most men feel embarrassed to see a doctor for any sexual problem, ignoring the fact that if treated early, there might not exist any problem at all. Be open to consult a sexologisif you feel somethings not right.

4. Stop and go: while having sex, a little bit of stop and start can prove to be a good way to l cool down and start with renewed energy. When you stop, you can probably try bonding with each other to further help you satisfy each other.
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4 Surest Ways For Men To Last Longer in Bed

Why do men and women respond differently after sex?

Men and women look differently, act differently, dress differently and even communicate in dissimilar ways. Therefore, it's no surprise that their reaction to sex should be different. While men's minds and genitals are usually in alignment, women are less likely to have a link between their mind and genital area. This is because of one of the most complex creations of nature is the human brain, and there are subtle differences in its reactions to different things for both men and women.

How different are the reactions of both the genders to sex?

A study carried out by a psychology professor at queen's university, Meredith chiversk, revealed that while in men the mind and body seem to be in tune with each other, a woman's mind and genitals sometimes respond oppositely to sexual arousal.

What is the reason for this difference in responding?

Firstly, in the case of women, oxytocin (also known as intimacy/cuddle hormone) is released during sex and this hormone encourages bonding and empathy, which leads to an increased feeling of bonding and intimacy.

In the case of men the brain releases more of a hormone, which can make them susceptible to sex addiction. When a man has an orgasm, the main hormone which is released is dopamine (pleasure hormone) and this surge can be addictive.

Men's arousal pattern has repeatedly emphasized their sensitivity to visual stimuli. As soon as the lust-inspiring image registers in their brain, they become turned on, not only physically but also psychologically. Exposure to such erotic stimuli immediately activates that part of their brain that is related to getting an erection. Women, on the other hand, react differently to different stimuli, with their responses varying from emotional to sexual or a mix of both.

The study made use of a total of 134 previous studies of which approximately 1, 900 men and 2, 500 women were a part to come to this conclusion.

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Tip: 8 Unbelievable Health Benefits of Masturbation

Why Do Men and Women Respond Differently After Sex?

Link between Erectile Dysfunction and Premature Ejaculation

Erectile Dysfunction is the inability of a man to achieve a penetrable erection while premature ejaculation is a man's inability to take control of his ejaculations during or before sexual intercourse. These conditions are two of the most common sexual dysfunctions observed among men. The prevalence of these two conditions can be found among all socioeconomic groups and among men of varying ages.

The incidence of premature ejaculation is higher and hence more common among both young and old men. Studies show that an estimated 40% of men suffer from the condition of premature ejaculation. On the other end, research also reveals that erectile dysfunction is associated with advancing age though a host of other factors like diabetes, kidney and heart diseases and certain medications can also be responsible.

How are these two conditions actually related?

It is found that in most men who have been primarily diagnosed with erectile dysfunction, the secondary concern has been premature ejaculation. The reason for both the problems is more or less the inadequate flow of blood to the penis required for a penetrable erection.

Moreover, in some cases, it was found that premature ejaculation occurred when a person was diagnosed with both mild and acute erectile dysfunction. In a similar manner, it was found that among men who suffered from ED and required constant stimulation to maintain a penetrable erection found out the instances of occurrence of premature ejaculation was high.

In some cases, it was found that the chief cause of erectile dysfunction was premature ejaculation. Because of these reasons, the two conditions are often found to co-exist and overlap one another.

In cases where both the conditions exist, treatment for ED is recommended to be sought first.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

What is the Link between Erectile Dysfunction and Premature Ejaculation?

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

6 Dangerous Effects of Alcohol on Your Sexual Well-Being

While small amounts of alcohol do not have any effect on your sexual health, moderate amounts of drinking are known to cause problems in both men and women.

Let's take a look at the effect alcohol may have on your body and sex life:

1. It acts as a depressant - Acting as a depressant (a drug that reduces stimulation or arousal in various parts of the brain), alcohol inhibits certain areas of the central nervous system that are important for orgasm and arousal, more specifically - the circulation, respiration, and feeling of nerve endings.

2. It dehydrates your body - Sexual arousal requires an adequate supply of oxygen and flow of blood to the private areas so as enable you to experience the different sensations that accompany a sexual act. Adequate blood flow in the case of women is important for lubrication and in the case of men for developing and sustaining an erection. Less fluid in the body and a depressed nervous system can affect your sexual performance.

3. It's not an aphrodisiac if you go overboard - Several studies show that alcohol can help certain people to overcome feelings of deficiency or sexual reserve. This can only happen if you limit your consumption to only 1-2 drinks. If you go overboard, the depressant action of the drink begins to take effect preventing your body's ability to react sexually.

4. It causes fewer erections - Drinking large amounts of alcohol or even long-term drinking can cause erection problems to develop. Erectile dysfunction is said to occur when too much drinking causes dehydration leading to a decrease in blood volume and an increase in the angiotensin hormone, which is associated with ED. The likelihood of this occurring gets further increased if the body's central nervous system is unable to act in a natural way.

5. It leads to delayed ejaculation and orgasm - A 2004 study reveals that about 11% of alcohol users face difficulty in having an orgasm. While the men faced difficulty in ejaculating, women participants required more stimulation to reach an orgasm, compared to men and women who did not drink or drank little.

6. It causes vaginal dryness - The dehydrating effect that normally occurs if you drink a lot can also cause vaginal dryness. It causes a decrease in your sensations and hampers the production of vaginal secretions for sexual penetration, leading to painful sex.



6 Dangerous Effects of Alcohol on Your Sexual Well Being

Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

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