All you need to know about Premature Ejaculation

Many of the sexual issues are primarily not big problems. However, because of the taboo and inhibition around them, they are not discussed openly, hence they also fail to get resolved and become bigger. In fact most of the times there are no visible symptoms of any functional problems. Many of them are very basic issues and because of ignorance, myths, and social taboos lead to development of anxieties, distress and further worsening of the problem.

Often men are concerned about their performance in bed with their partner. They worry about- how best then can do, masturbation habits, size of penis and sperm quality. 

Consequences of Premature ejaculation (PE): 
Both you and your partner may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can significantly increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 

PE is one such sexual issue. It's not a disease; Not at all..!! 
If a person is sexually fit and experiences normal erections but just fail to hold the orgasm/ discharge for reasonable time then he is suffering from premature ejaculation. It's  a very normal problem, which if managed properly it can be easily resolved.

We will discuss this PE in 4 parts covering: what it is in actual, how does it happen, how to approach to resolve this problem with behavioural methods, exercise, techniques and medical remedies present in both modern and alternative medicine. 
Let s understand the problem in this 1st part!

What is Premature Ejaculation? 

Premature (early) ejaculation also referred to as rapid ejaculation; also called as early discharge. 
PE is the most common type of sexual dysfunction in men younger than 40 years and seen across all age groups. In elderly men (>60 years) erectile dysfunction is more common. A study conducted by the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed that this condition is almost equally prevalent in sexually active men of all age groups. 
If a man experiences uncontrollable ejaculation (discharge of semen from your penis) either before or shortly after sexual penetration (usually within 1-2 minutes of penetration), he may be suffering from PE. The Mayo clinic at the United States defines PE as a condition in which  a man  always or nearly always ejaculates within one minute of penetration."

Instances of PE:
An occasional instance of premature ejaculation might not be cause of concern, but, if the problem occurs more than 50% of attempted sexual relations signifies existence of abnormal pattern for which treatment is required.

Premature ejaculation takes place with negligible sexual stimulation and even before the desire 
to ejaculate. Another way of describing PE by most therapist or clinicians is the occurrence of ejaculation sooner during sexual intercourse than he or his partner would like. 

This broad definition thus avoids specifying a precise  normal  duration for sexual activity and reaching a climax. The duration of sexual activity is highly variable and depends on various factors specific to each individual. Take a situation, a male may reach orgasm after 7 to 8 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner is able to achieve climax mostly in 5 minutes and both are satisfied with this timing, then this is not defined as PE. 

Alternatively, a male might delay his ejaculation for up to 15- 20 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner, even with foreplay, requires 25-30 minutes of total sexual activity before reaching climax, he may still consider his ejaculation premature because his partner has not been satisfied (at least, not through intercourse). But in routine practice this kind of situation is NOT called as PE. So every individual and every couple is unique. Same individual may have different sexual behaviour with different partners and different circumstances. Varied situations and varied places of performing the act have a vital role to play in determining the outcomes of individual sexual performance/s.



Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 1: Understanding What is PE

How to End Sexual Problems? Is Exercise the Real Solution?

Whether you suffer from premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, are unable to get an orgasm - or you just want to improve your sex life, Every problem is connected to one major solution, it's important to exercise your 'sex' muscles.

A. Kegel Exercises - Cure For Erectile Dysfunction, Urinary incontinence and Nightfall

What Are Kegel Exercises?

Kegel exercises are easy exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles.

How Do I Find My Pelvic Muscles?

In order to help strengthen you pelvic floor muscles, it is important that you take time to make sure you are exercising the right muscles.

Try to stop and start your urine stream while you are about to urinate . Try to do this two or three times. The muscles you use to stop your urine flow are your pelvic floor muscles.

How Do I Do A Kegel Exercise?

Now that you have located your pelvic floor muscles, you can exercise them even when you do not have to urinate  by following these simple steps:

1. Tighten and hold your pelvic floor muscles for five seconds (count 1 one thousand, 2 one thousand, 3 one thousand, 4 one thousand, 5 one thousand).

2. Relax your pelvic muscles.

You have just done one Kegel exercise. You should plan to do 10 to 20 Kegel exercises three to four times each day.

Another way to tighten your pelvic floor muscles is to:

1. Squeeze the muscles in your anus (like you are holding a bowel movement).

2. Relax your pelvic floor muscles after each attempt.

3. Repeat this exercise 10 to 20 times.

When you do your Kegel exercises, remember

Do not hold your breath.

Do not push down.

Squeeze your muscles together tightly and imagine that you are trying to lift this muscle up.

Do not tighten the muscles in your stomach, buttocks, or thighs

Relax your pelvic floor muscles between each squeeze.

How Often Should I Do Kegel Exercises?

Your goal should be to do 20 Kegel exercise three to four times each day. The great thing about Kegel exercises is that you can do them anytime you want to do them

Kegel exercises can help both men and women. Some men's partners do the exercises with them. The more you do them, the stronger your pelvic floor muscles will become.

It can take six weeks or longer to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles

B. The Push-Ups

Lower yourself Only halfway down while doing push up, do not touch the ground.

Halfway down push-ups are easier to achieve and enable you to do faster reps, which, as well as increasing your sexual strength, will also increase your sexual fitness and stamina. Do sets of 10 or 20 push ups.

C. Rebound Exercise

It is performed on a device known as a rebounder/mini-trampoline. Rebounding for 10 minutes twice a day will do wonders for your Sexual health. It strengthens your pelvic floor, abdominal, hip and upper leg muscles as well as strengthening your lymphatic system.



How to End Sexual Problem? Is Exercise the Real Solution?

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Why do men and women respond differently after sex?

Men and women look differently, act differently, dress differently and even communicate in dissimilar ways. Therefore, it's no surprise that their reaction to sex should be different. While men's minds and genitals are usually in alignment, women are less likely to have a link between their mind and genital area. This is because of one of the most complex creations of nature is the human brain, and there are subtle differences in its reactions to different things for both men and women.

How different are the reactions of both the genders to sex?

A study carried out by a psychology professor at queen's university, Meredith chiversk, revealed that while in men the mind and body seem to be in tune with each other, a woman's mind and genitals sometimes respond oppositely to sexual arousal.

What is the reason for this difference in responding?

Firstly, in the case of women, oxytocin (also known as intimacy/cuddle hormone) is released during sex and this hormone encourages bonding and empathy, which leads to an increased feeling of bonding and intimacy.

In the case of men the brain releases more of a hormone, which can make them susceptible to sex addiction. When a man has an orgasm, the main hormone which is released is dopamine (pleasure hormone) and this surge can be addictive.

Men's arousal pattern has repeatedly emphasized their sensitivity to visual stimuli. As soon as the lust-inspiring image registers in their brain, they become turned on, not only physically but also psychologically. Exposure to such erotic stimuli immediately activates that part of their brain that is related to getting an erection. Women, on the other hand, react differently to different stimuli, with their responses varying from emotional to sexual or a mix of both.

The study made use of a total of 134 previous studies of which approximately 1, 900 men and 2, 500 women were a part to come to this conclusion.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Tip: 8 Unbelievable Health Benefits of Masturbation

Why Do Men and Women Respond Differently After Sex?

Your good intention during intercourse might be to give your partner an intense orgasm, but orgasms aren t something one can  give . All you can do is make the conditions more favorable for the other person to have them by manipulating your moves. 

Here are six ways in which you can orgasm better: 

Don t skip the foreplay: Just like it is not a good idea to run a marathon without sufficient warm up, it isn t advisable to skip or shorten the foreplay. Explore and find out and choose the right kinds of foreplay that take the arousal to great heights. Oral sex, clitoral stimulation and self-stimulation during sex are incredible in achieving a better climax. 
Experiment with edging: Try what we call 'edging'. That is, bring yourself close to climax, then stop short of reaching climax, and after a pause a few seconds, rebuild your arousal   again just close to climax. Repeat this until you can't hold any more and then come! The resulting orgasm is very intense and worth the effort. 
Try sex toys: Once in a while let a sex toy join the fun. Sex toys are useful in maximizing the pleasure levels during intercourse or solo. 
Use a lubricant: Don t think that a lube just addresses the vaginal dryness and painful intercourse. Research shows that as many as 50% women get better orgasms when they use lubricants. The lubrication adds sensitivity to the genitals and helps get good orgasms. 
Target the C-spot: A lot of women have problems in getting orgasms during intercourse as the clitoris isn t stimulated enough. The clitoris has the maximum number of nerve endings and during intercourse, clitoral contact is needed for most women to reach orgasm. Tip: Try out woman-on top, side-to-side and doggy style positions for clitoral stimulation. There are many more options too. 
Do not overlook the testes: Stroking your sack upwards right before getting an orgasm adds more power to the orgasms in men. The testes are tremendous pleasure points for a man and gently stroking them is useful in heightening the arousal which leads to a stronger orgasm.

6 Ways To Orgasm Better

Contraceptives are generally drugs and devices, which are used to prevent pregnancy. A large number of contraceptives are available which allow the couple to enjoy sex without running the risk of unwanted pregnancies. The general categories of contraceptives are explained below:

Barrier Methods:
i. Male Condom: It is one of the most common forms of contraception. They are worn on the penis before sex is initiated. For safety purpose, a new condom should be used every time the person has sex.

ii. Female Condom: Much like male condoms, these are available at over-the-counter pharmacies without prescription. The condoms can be inserted to the vagina anytime within a period of 8 hours prior to sex.

iii. Diaphragm: This should be coated with a spermicide before sex and placed inside a woman's vagina so that the sperms are prevented from entering the uterus.

iv. Cervical Cap: These are used as replacements for diaphragms because some women may develop bladder infections such as cystitis while using it and these caps have lesser contact with the vagina.

Hormonal Methods:
The main implementation of hormonal changes to provide contraception is the pill. This is the most common form of female contraception available. It comes in two forms:
i. Combined contraceptive pill: Contains a combination of hormones such as progestin and oestrogen.
ii. Mini-pill: Contains only progestin: It is available only with the prescription of the doctor and should be used as per the prescription.

Intrauterine Devices
The intrauterine device (IUD) is a long-acting and reversible form of contraception for women. It is of two types: Copper IUD (contains copper) and Hormone-releasing IUDs (progestin hormone is released into the womb slowly). It is a small device that is fitted inside the womb and it provides contraception by facilitating the prevention of fertilization of the egg.

Sterilization
This is a lifelong option that is available for both men and women. In males, the procedure is known as vasectomy which basically ties and cuts off the tubes that carry the sperm.

In women, two forms of sterilization are available; surgical and non-surgical. Surgically, the fallopian tubes are cut and tied using small cuts in the belly so that the ovaries and uterus are not linked. Non-surgically, coils are inserted into the fallopian tubes so the resultant development of scars leads to complete blockage of the tubes.

Other forms of contraceptives include contraceptive patches, vaginal rings, contraceptive injections, spermicides and contraceptive implants.

Different Types of Contraceptives and Its Uses

Don't wait any longer, manage your Sexual Therapy online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Sexual Therapy - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES