Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

The primary difference between pickle and chutney lies in the fact that pickles are meant to be preserved for months together while chutneys are devoid of preservatives and are required to be consumed very soon. Both of these food items proffer a host of health benefits including an optimum supply of all the needful minerals and vitamins along with the antioxidants. Some of the ingredients present in the pickle and chutney help in controlling high blood pressure, diabetes, improves digestion and immunity.

Pickles and the process of preparing the pickles
The process of making pickles is known to have originated in India, and it was the most viable way of preserving food items so that it can be stored for future usage. The process started as a means of preserving those food items, which are not available all through the year. The conventional means of preparing pickles in oriental style incorporates the usage of ingredients like oil, salt, chilli powder along with other condiments. The ingredients are mixed as per the set proportions, and there are many health benefits of eating pickles on a regular basis.

As per the reports of NSDA, pickles contain moisture, energy, fat, protein, carbohydrates, fibres, vitamins and sugar. The long list of vitamins includes Vitamin A, Vitamin B, Vitamin B-12, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Vitamin K, riboflavin, niacin, thiamin, and folate. Indian pickles abound in phosphorus, iron, magnesium, sodium and potassium. The health benefits of pickles include the supply of necessary antioxidants, probiotics which are the gut-friendly antibiotics, helps in digestion, improve haemoglobin levels in anaemic people. There are some pickles which aid in controlling blood pressure levels and have hepatoprotective properties.

Chutney and their health benefits
Chutneys are a ubiquitous component of Indian cuisine, and some of the most common flavours added to the chutneys include ginger, garlic, onion salt, sugar and tamarind among others. Homemade chutneys prepared in almost all Indian households can be preserved for about a week in the refrigerator. Chutneys are filled with vitamins along with other nutrients, and less usage of oil makes it fat-free. They are rich in antioxidants, and sometimes fresh leaves are added to ensure inclusion of chlorophyll.

Just like pickles, chutneys also offer a wide range of advantages for one s health. It provides the body with the needful amount of antioxidants which are the micronutrients that aid in protecting the body from the free radicals. These free radicals are a type of unstable chemicals being generated at the time of cellular metabolism and react with the cells and cause damage to the DNA. The DNA then becomes unstable and gives way to the production of more free radicals which can be controlled by the consumption of antioxidants. The chutneys also supply the body with all the vitamins, minerals and other micronutrients which are necessary for sustaining healthy living.

To conclude, both pickles, as well as chutneys, are a significant part of the Indian food habits. Both of these items have a great taste and offer a wide variety of health aids which testifies to their consumption on a regular basis.

Pickle vs Chutney - Which Is Healthier?

While it is widely felt that men commit all sex related mistakes, women are equally at the erring end with respect to sex.

Here are 6 mistakes women frequenty make without realising it- 

1) Not Initiating Sex: It is a myth that women are not interested in sex as much as men. Neither should men have to be the traditional intiators. In fact, because most guys feel that they are always the initiators, it tends to set up disequilibrium on the passion levels in the relationship. Women must show interest by taking the first step every now and then. Your partner will really appreciate it, and it will also be very satisfying for you.

2) Not Guiding Him: It might be awkward for a woman to directly talk about what she wants, but it is the only way to lead your man to understand what works for you. If you let your man know what you like and what you do not, it is easier for him and makes for a good experience for both.

3) Bothering About Your Looks: Accept and appreciate your body. Concerns about how you look, during intercourse stops you from enjoying yourself and ruins your chances of achieving an orgasm. Men want their partners to abandon themselves during the act. All they really care about is your enthusiasm, energy, interest and flexibity.

4) Assuming Men Are Casual About It: It is a myth that men are not romantic or take sex casually. It is important for them. Both men and women find sexual intimacy in the context of a committed relationship to be much more satisfying.

5) Assuming He Should Be Up For It Always: There are many aspects of life that men, just like you, deal with daily. The pressures of daily rouitne -- work, family, bills – sometimes affects a man’s libido. Women tend to be surprised by this and often take a man’s lack of interest in sex personally. Give your man space to be and accept things naturally.

6) Getting Upset When He Suggests Something New: Men like to experiement. And if he suggests something new that you cannot appreciate, try to convey it in a very subtle manner. Do not get upset. Always talk about your comfort level and discuss openly about moral grounds.

Have any further questions on your sexual health and relationships? Click on consult privately to ask me.

From Lybrate: If you found this tip useful, please thank the doctor by clicking on the heart icon below. Also, spread good health by sharing this tip with your loved ones.

6 Sex Mistakes Women Make

For a healthy relation it is important that we learn to communicate our feelings with our partners. Foreplay not only plays an essential role in sexual arousal prior to the act of sexual intercourse, but it also has a number of health benefits for both men and women, which are both physical and emotional in nature. It also works towards increasing intimacy between couples and often leads to a higher level of sexual satisfaction, again for both sexes. 

Here are some foreplay moves you can use to make your time in the bedroom more satisfactory.

1. Engage in conversation: Communicating with your partner is often a great way to get things started. Talking dirty not only increases intimacy between the couple, but also makes it more fun for both, thus reducing stress level, it often reduces the performance anxiety disorder, especially in men.

2. Take it slow: Taking your time during foreplay, with prolonged periods of kissing and sexual stimulation, can exponentially increase levels of arousal for both sexes, and thus add to the chances of reaching orgasm in the ensuing act of intercourse. Many women have also reported that climaxing during foreplay itself increases the probability of achieving multiple orgasms, due to release of a high number of endorphins, thus inducing feelings of euphoria.

3. Try to provide equal attention to all erogenous zones: Spending time in stimulation of each and every erogenous zone of the body such as the neck, breasts and clitoris (for women), penis and scrotum (for men), etc., can often prove to be very useful in sexually arousing your partner and increasing chances of achieving an orgasm.

4. Erotic massages work great: Deep and sensuous massages, especially of erogenous zones, coupled with small breaks to kiss your partner can lead to high levels of arousal due to the friction between your hands and their skin, which aids the release of several arousal hormones, and works great to maximize pleasure.  

5. Engage in oral sex: Though many may be averse to the idea of engaging in oral sex, it has been found that it has a number of health benefits. It not only acts as a stress buster but also helps regulate blood pressure levels, increases chances of conception, relieves pain, and even reduces chances of prostate cancer in men.

5 Foreplay Moves To Get It All Started

You must be aware that while emotional intimacy is highly required for a healthy relationship, physical intimacy is equally important. And, to keep things exciting and satisfying for both the partners trying out several sex positions could be the key.

If you are looking for ways to stimulate your woman to achieve orgasm and ensure pleasurable intercourse moments, mission in-her-possible, a variant of the popular missionary position, can be a good option to try. Understand the intricacies involved with this position by reading further.

What it has to offer to the women?
Women who face difficulties in having an orgasm very often can find this particular sex positions, especially known for its stimulation, is an ideal position to try. Offering the perfect clitoris and G-spot stimulation in its every thrust, it can be one of the best sex positions that can give a woman that perfect long elusive taste of pleasure when a man presses his pelvis against her clitoris. With one leg placing up in the air and one leg placing on the bed, it lets women feel the pleasure of sex and stimulation like never before.

Why will men love it too?
Men who often feel self-conscious and worried about not being able to make their partners achieve an orgasm or stimulate properly, this position can take away all their worries. Though it may demand a bit of endurance from the men's side as they have to lean forward, relying upon the resting leg of women for further guidance and support, and also a certain penis size, still, considering the results, trying this position is worth all the efforts.

Some quick facts about the position

Numbered as 13, mission in-her-possible is for specifically experienced couples. Yes, considering the difficulty levels of it, sexologists recommend it to those who have previous experience in trying various sex positions. 
It doesn t require much of stretching, despite appearing to be so. While the level of pleasure, acquired from this position, can be low for men but as far as women are concerned, pleasure level it provides is high. 
The position may not be very suitable for men with a small penis and for the women who experience pain during intercourse. Men with a penis size of 7 inches or more may be perfectly suitable for this position. 
The requirement of both stamina and flexibility for this position is medium and the pleasure quotient is high.
Remember, whenever trying this particular sex position, both the man and the woman must feel comfortable with each other. Trying  mission in-her-possible' indeed helps in improving the chances of women having an orgasm, but it is only possible when the interest of trying it develops in both the partners, participating in the sexual act.

Sex Position: Mission In-Her Possible!

Don't wait any longer, manage your Sexual Dysfunction online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Sexual Dysfunction - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES