How much sex should you really have?

Sex is an extremely personal and subjective matter. Different individuals relate to and indulge in sex differently. The idea of sex also varies from person to person and may not always fit the stereotypical penile-vaginal penetrative intercourse.

There is no way of determining exactly how much sex is good and how much of it is too much. Some people like to be sexually active with thorough regularity while others find comfort in abstinence. Age also plays an important role here with people between the ages of 18-29 indulging in higher levels of sexual activity than those who are middle-aged or elderly.

The different levels and frequencies of sexual activity have varying degrees of impacts on the overall mental, physical and sexual health of a person. There are numerous health benefits attached to having an active sex life, which manifests themselves in both the body and the mind.

The health benefits of having sex are - 
As per studies conducted, it has been shown that having sex, at least, two times a week can boost overall physical and mental health. The many health benefits of being sexually active are as follows:
   It improves immunity and makes the body more resilient to diseases
   It improves bladder control in women and prevents urinary incontinence
   It prevents erectile dysfunction in men
   It improves blood circulation and lowers blood pressure
   It acts as a stress reliever
   It improves functioning of the heart and lowers the risk of heart disease
   It reduces sensitivity to pain
There are several other benefits of sex, which include the effective healing and nurturing of the body in a holistic manner.

Is there a limit to having sex?
A large number of people all around the world are concerned about their carnal compulsions and frequently approach sex therapists about what frequency of sex constitutes as a 'healthy' dose.

There really is no such thing as too much sex. But if overindulgence in sexual activities causes a disturbance in everyday activities such as work, classes, household responsibilities and other obligations, it becomes a problem. If such a situation arises, it might be signs of a sex addiction in which case it is important to consult a sexologist or sex therapist. Ideally, having sex two times a day is good for your body, mind and soul.



How much sex should you really have?

Contraception is not only restricted to married couples in today's world. Most of the young couples refrain from seeking medical advice for contraception may be because of social concerns or simply because they feel hesitant and shy.

There are many contraceptive pills available over the counter which youngsters are tempted to buy and use as it seems to be the easy way out. Frequent and improper use of such emergency pills can lead to a lot of hormonal disturbances and the menstrual cycle goes topsy turvy. Then the dilemma starts. As it becomes difficult to interpret the cycle dates and erratic bleeding which happens is disturbing.

In my practice I have seen many young girls popping in pills randomly every now and then. Sometimes at weekly intervals as they are unable to manage the stress of their relationship getting disturbed. What youngsters should try and understand is there is nothing wrong in having pills for contraception but it should be done with proper guidance and the selection of the right pill for that particular individual is important which can be done easily by getting into consultation with a doctor. Need not necessarily be a gynecologist always.

Emergency pills are ok for once in a blue moon kind of use. But it should not become a habit.


Misuse Of Emergency Contraceptive Pills

3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

Here is a list of 3 scientifically proven ways of increasing intimacy with your partner.

1. Look them in the eye and tell them all about yourself

Self-disclosure is an important part of relationships, especially during the initial phase. However, gradually as people feel that they've known enough about each other, communication seems to come to a standstill.

But the actual reason for this is not the lack of things to talk about but resistance which arises out of a feeling of vulnerability. It mostly happens in established relationships because both the partners do not wish to break past the certainty and assurance.

Therefore, the revealing part that may lead to some changes in perception is often skipped. However, not doing so and truly communicating with your partner can help you in increasing intimacy and having a deeper connection with your partner.

2. Share the laughter

Sharing the joy and the humorous experiences is a great way of increasing intimacy with your partner. Since every person's sense of humour is different, humour is a deeply personal aspect of your personality. Therefore, when you share genuine laughter with your partner that is when your sense of humour matches with each other, it improves your understanding and builds intimacy.

3. Tell them how you feel and know how they feel

It is extremely important for you to talk with your partner about how you feel - not just about the relationship, but about other important aspects of your life as well. If conflicts are dealt with by discussing how you feel about them and not on the lines of rationality, you end up feeling more intimate with your partner. Honestly discussing and exchanging your feelings is an amazing way of increasing your intimacy with your partner.



3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Female condoms are generally pouches made of latex and polyurethane, which are used by women during sex in order to prevent pregnancy and thereby reduce the chances of infection by sexually transmitted diseases. Each end of these pouches are made of rings that are flexible. They should be inserted deep inside the vagina before sex is initiated and held in the position by utilizing the rings available at the closed end while the rings which are at the open end remain outside the vagina during sex.

Even though it can be safely used by most people, some women would find female condoms to be an inappropriate form of contraception and would not feel comfortable with their genital areas being touched. Thus, it is very important that the appropriate form of contraception be considered for you and your partner. Condoms should be used correctly. In case of need for extra protection, other options of contraception should be considered.

Pros of female condoms
1. Since the exchange of bodily fluids, such as semen and vaginal fluid is prevented, female condoms aid in offering protection against many sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV.

2. Condoms can prove to be reliable pregnancy averting methods if they are properly and consistently used.

3. Female condoms are only needed during the time of sex. Any form of advance preparation is not required, hence making them suitable for unplanned sex.

4. Prescriptions are not needed

5. The condoms are usually small in size, disposable as well as easy to carry

6. Usually, using condoms does not show any medical side effects.

7. Insertion of female condoms can be done up to a duration of eight hours before sex. The responsibility for utilizing condoms properly should be shared by the woman as well as the partner.

Cons of female condoms
1. Even though condoms are generally very strong, they are prone to splitting or tearing in case of improper use.

2. Availability of female condoms pales in comparison to the male counterparts and they are usually more expensive.

3. The outer ring might produce a cumbersome feeling.

Pros and Cons of Female Condoms

People who have healthy sex life are not only happier but also healthier than those who don't. Here are 9 health benefits you never knew sex can provide -

1) Rocking Immune System: Regular sex ensures higher levels of what defends your body against germs, viruses, and other intruders.

2) Lowers Blood Pressure: One landmark study found that sexual intercourse specifically (not masturbation) lowered systolic blood pressure.

3) Great Exercise: Sex is a really great form of exercise. It is a muscular exercise that burns calories and increases your heart rate.

4) Lowers Heart Attack Risk: Great sex life is good for your heart. It not just raises your heart rate, sex helps keep your estrogen and testosterone levels in balance.

5) Reduces Pain: Getting an orgasm can block pain. Vaginal stimulation can block chronic back and leg pain, and can reduce menstrual cramps, arthritic pain, and in some cases even headache.

6) Improves Sleep:  People usually dose of quickly after sex and tend to get a sound sleep.

7) Relieves Stress: Sexual arousal releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain's pleasure and reward system. Sex and intimacy relieve you of stress and boost your self-esteem and happiness too.

8)  Reduces Risk Of Prostate Cancer: A study, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association revealed that men who ejaculated frequently (at least 21 times a month) were less likely to get prostate cancer.

9) Helps Women's Bladder Control: Incontinence, a problem that affects about 30% of women at some point in their lives is helped with a regular sex. Good sex is like a workout for their pelvic floor muscles. An orgasm causes contractions in those muscles thus strengthening them

Click on consult privately to ask me any follow-up questions on this.

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Having Sex - 9 Health Benefits

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