8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life - Sex is probably the most important part of a relationship along with compatibility, trust and comfort. To make your relationship stronger and deeper, happiness in sex life is crucial. It must be the part of your life that you always look forward to and that brings the two of you together irrespective of the way your days go.

Follow these simple protocol to make for a happy sex life and therefore a happy life.

1) Believe you are sexy - Stop undermining yourself. You are sexy, accept it. And believe that your partner gets turned on by you. When you believe that your partner finds you sexy, you will be more interested in sex and so will your partner be.

2) Believe in the little gestures - Sex is not always awesome while you are in the act. The build up through the day can be made with the simplest of actions. A meaningful touch on the breakfast table, a mid-day text saying you miss him and an intimate evening message, or simply holding hands while shopping for grocery, all add up to build the connection between both of you.

3) Focus on the positive - Tell your partner what he does that you like. The kiss on the nape or how their breathe on your skin makes your senses tingle ? tell that. When your partner knows what you like, your bedroom experiments can take interesting turns. Always help your partner focus gently to what gives you pleasure.

4) Make time for sex - When new in a relationship, couples tend to have more sex and the frequency diminishes once they are comfortable in the situation. Avoid this; sex should be in your priority list at all times. Sex indeed should be a natural event. However, our lifestyles don't permit it. Also, there are too many distractions. If you need to schedule sex, it's okay. The idea is to indulge in it. You both have your needs and they should be fulfilled, right?

5) Fantasize - One great way to keep the passion alive is to share your fantasies. Doesn't matter how dirty it is, don't worry about what your partner will think. Far from judging, you yourself might realize something new about your partner. Chances are, that you might love the fantasies you both talk about.

6) Take it easy -  In real life, it is okay to not be perfect, to stop to catch breath and be real. To be happy with your sex life doesn't mean having spectacular sex every time. More than how you perform, it is how the experience was for both of you. Enjoy the process, it is for real.

7) Be responsive - Respond, even if you are not in the mood. Don't shun your partner because you are not in the mood. But if one of you wants to have sex, pushing them away is not a good idea. And if you still don't want to go ahead, explain that it's not them, but the time and plan to connect some time in near future.

8) Be willing to have sex - If you would rather watch tv all day rather than have sex and then do it nevertheless just because your partner initiated it, they would know. Never make your partner feel that you are having sex out of obligation. This is a mood killer and a guarantee for low satisfaction derived. Make sex an enjoyable affair, think what all you like and show them to your partner. 

If you have any further questions on sexual health, ask me by clicking on 'Consult'.

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Having Better Sex - 8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life

What is Monogamous Relationship?

You (who have been tested for STD/STIs and don't have any) are having sex with only one partner (who also has been tested for STD/STIs and doesn't have any) who only has sex with you. And you both keep it that way! 

Stated another way, you are both STD/STI free and only have sex with each other. People of any sexual orientation can engage in monogamous relationships. The only thing implied by the term monogamy is that the relationship consists of two people who are romantically and/or sexually exclusive. Theoretically, outside of abstinence, this is really the safest type of "safer sex" that you can have. 

Celebrated on 1st December of each year, World AIDS Day, aims to spread awareness about HIV / AIDs. It is an STD wherein, HIV stands for human immunodeficiency infection and AIDS stands for acquired immune deficiency syndrome. The disease hinders the immune system in keeping up our body s security against sickness. HIV causes individuals to end up wiped out with infections that regularly would not affect them and HIV leads to AIDS.

Understanding the Symptoms:

HIV has few or no signs or symptoms for up to ten years or more before side effects of AIDS tends to manifest. There is no cure for HIV/AIDS, yet treatment is accessible. A few people have HIV symptoms not long after being infected. These include:

There are a few phases of HIV illness. The primary HIV side effects may include swollen glands in the throat, armpit, or crotch.
Other early HIV symptoms incorporate slight fever, headaches, exhaustion, and muscle throbs.
These symptoms may keep on going for just a couple of weeks. At that point, there are typically no HIV indications for a long time. That is the reason it can be difficult to know whether or not a person is suffering from HIV.
The symptoms of AIDS show up in the most advanced phase of the HIV disease. These are as follows:

Along with a severely damaged immune system, a person with AIDS may likewise have thrush. A thrush is a thick, whitish covering on the tongue that is brought about by a yeast infection and now and then joined by a sore throat.
Serious or repetitive vaginal yeast infection.
Pelvic inflammatory illness.
Serious and frequent infections.
Unexplained fatigue that might be followed by headaches, dizziness.
Loss of more than ten pounds of weight that is not because of physical exercise or consuming fewer calories.
Risk Factors: There are a lot of ways in which you can get the infection. HIV is transmitted through blood, semen, vaginal fluids and breast milk. The most well-known ways in which HIV is spread, are:

Having sexual intercourse without a condom with somebody who has HIV/AIDS.
Using needles or syringes that have been used by someone who has HIV/AIDS.
Being punctured with a needle or surgical instrument that has been contaminated with HIV.
Getting HIV blood, semen or vaginal discharge into open injuries or wounds.
Babies born to women with HIV/AIDS can get HIV from their mothers during birth or from breastfeeding.
There are numerous ways in which you can protect yourself from HIV. These are as follows:

The most secure way is to limit the number of sexual partners you take on.
Try to have safer sex and always use protection.
Get your partners tested for HIV.
HIV tests are a typical piece of social insurance.
In case that you think you may have been infected by HIV, talk to a specialist or a doctor about testing. Discussing what risks you might have taken can help you choose whether testing is ideal for you.

This World AIDS Day - Let's Spread the Awareness About HIV/AIDS

There is hardly any person who does not want to enjoy a healthy and satisfying sex life. As per Ayurveda, a healthy sex life is very much a reality provided one diligently follows the golden sex rules as mentioned in various Ayurvedic books and journals:

Ayurveda believes that a couple should refrain from having sex when the female partner is having her periods. Some health experts are of the belief that sex during periods may give rise to a condition termed as Endometriosis (the endometrial cells grow outside the uterus, often in the ovary or the fallopian tubes).
According to Ayurveda, an ideal sex position is one where the woman is lying with her face directed in an upward position.
Ayurveda also believes very overweight or obese people should avoid having sex.
Have sex only when your private parts are clean and healthy (as this helps to prevent infections and associated complications).
According to Ayurveda, loyalty and faithfulness are what gets a relationship going. Infidelity, adultery, or cheating on your wife is a crime that will only spell doom.
Ayurveda is against a couple having sex during pregnancy or immediately after delivery. One should have control over their urges. It further states that a 5-months time in the case of a C-section and 2-3 months interval in the case of a normal delivery will go a long way in ensuring a healthy sex life (will help the woman to recover well).
Ayurveda is vehemently opposes violent sex. Making love is suppose to soothe your soul rather than scar it. Violence during sex is not healthy at all.
Ayurveda believes in having sex using sexual organs. Thus, oral sex and other similar pleasures are a big No as per Ayurveda.
Ayurveda does not advocate the practice of having sex on days of prime significance such as festivals, various eclipses, on a full moon or new moon nights, to name a few.
Sex on empty stomach or after a heavy meal can trigger a plethora of health problems by causing a Vata and Pitta imbalance. The imbalance may give rise to digestive problems, headache, gastritis.
Ayurveda is strictly against the idea of having sex with aged women or with children.
Always have sex when both the partners are in a comfortable position. This is to ensure that you enjoy the intercourse sans any injury.
Never have sex if you are sick or physically and mentally not fit.
Having sex with animals (bestiality) is considered unhealthy as per Ayurveda.
Sex is not a wise idea when you have to lighten yourself (defecate or urinate).
According to Ayurveda, your sex life is governed by the four seasons during which your body strength changes.
The body strength is the lowest during the monsoon and summer, hence have less sex during that time (once in fifteen days).
With moderate body strength, sex once in three days is advisable during spring and summer.
During winter the body strength is at its peak, hence one can have sex daily.

Golden Sex Rules Of Ayurveda!

It has been espoused in common knowledge that when you have inttercourse with your partner, it makes both of you feel happier, satisfied and contented. This helps bring you closer to each other and results in a stronger and better relationship. Sexual activities have a direct connection to your psychological well-being. However, the number of times you have sex isn t as important as the quality of the time you spend with your partner.

Stressed out on sex!
Due to modern lifestyle and stress, young couples are increasingly finding it difficult to hit the bed together, thus putting sex on the backburner. Research states most young couples now consider sex as secondary, mechanical and monotonous, which can be kept for a later time. But that is not the sign of normalcy. You don t need to do it daily, but 2 or 3 times a week is beneficial for a healthy body, mind, and relationship.

Some of the benefits of having regular sex

    Sex releases endorphins hormone which reduces stress and also lets you experience euphoria. This makes you feel satisfied and happy during the act and in general with your life.
    It is directly related to promoting attractiveness. During sexual intercourse, the body releases pheromones which make you look more attractive to other people.
    If you experience orgasms during the activity, you are most likely to have an enhanced life span due to the promotion of better circulation within the body.
    Sex acts as an excellent pain reliever due to the release of endorphins.
    Sex also helps you to have better control of your bladder by working out the muscles during an orgasm.
    It has also been shown to lower the risk of prostate cancer in men.

How much is too much?
These are just a few of the reasons sexologists and health care experts advise you to have intercourse often, at least twice weekly. You don t need to do it regularly, as over indulgence will have negative effects too. It could also signal the start of problems with sexual addiction. Some of the negative effects of too much sex could be:

    It will lead to a detrimental effect on your sexual activity. You will find it difficult to get aroused often.
    You experience cramps on your body.
    You can experience difficulties in your bowel and urinary functions.
    You would be constantly distracted by the thoughts of sex which could lead to sex addiction.

It is best to stay within a limit, have fun with your partner twice or thrice a week and enjoy the health and psychological benefits of this natural marvel.

How Frequently Should You be Having Sex?

Does watching porn together help you have a better sex life?

It is often said that the couples who do most day-to-day activities together are more committed towards each other. But does the same stand true when it comes to watching sexual content or pornography? Well, research certainly seems to indicate that, with a whopping 96% couples watch pornography together. Here are some pros and cons of viewing porn with your partner.

PROs-

1.  It may help you both in discovering your sexual preferences
It is important for both you and your partner to be on the same page when it comes to discovering your sexuality and figuring out each other’s sexual preferences. Just like adolescent sex education, pornography too educates you about the mechanics of sexual play. It is a useful tool that brings out the kinky side in you and makes you more open to discussions on things that pique your curiosity in the bedroom. As and when you see such visual imagery, it may appeal to you enough to try it out with your partner. Discuss such desires with your partner. This may help you in discovering what really turns you and your partner on.

2. It may help you in maintaining sexual fidelity in your relationship
Watching porn together with your partner can potentially increase the intensity of physical attraction between the two of you.This, as a result, leads to greater gratification for both of you, and if you are sexually satisfied by your partner, you are less likely to look for pleasure outside your relationship. Also, it is way healthier to indulge in it as a team rather than discovering your partner watching porn alone.

3. It may help both of you to pick up newer positions
Porn has the ability to expose you to new and exciting positions you never knew. About 58% of couples who viewed pornography claimed that the shared activity had a positive effect on their sex lives. New moves and unique positions are known to spice up sex lives. Men can surprise their women (or vice versa) with an exotic move or two. Porn may also help in decreasing shyness and in opening up your minds so that you can pick up and practice new moves.

CONs-

Although porn viewing may consist of potential benefits, it may also affect your relationship adversely. When watched in excess, porn may cause certain problems in your relationship, which are-

1. It might set up wrong expectations in reality
Porn movies give you a warped view of what beauty is. It may cause you to have unrealistically higher expectations from your partner, whereas the reality may not match your imaginative hopes and standards. As a result, it may also lead to frustration, aggression and infidelity.

2. It may lead to pornography addiction
 The visual and physical appeal of porn may impact a person’s mental or social well-being. Increased porn viewing may hint at a person’s social isolation, loss of interest in career and other activities etc. It may also make you highly dependent on it, as it allows immediate sexual gratification. As a result the usage may go out of control and relate directly to compulsive behaviour.

3. It may affect your sexual drive and libido
Making love to your partner in real-life may become a foreign concept, as porn can decrease your physical drive with the possibility of making you sexually lazy. Porn may also have certain side effects including probable loss of libido and even difficulty in lasting longer. It may also make regular intercourse seem boring as it may not have the same sensual and visual appeal as pornography.
After realising its various pros and cons if you want to use porn, it is advisable to not use it as replacement but as an accessory for better sexual well-being.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Does Watching Porn Together Really Help You Have a Better Sex Life?

When Should You Use Viagra?

Viagra is a very common drug prescribed for treating erectile dysfunction. It works by enhancing the flow of blood to the penis during sexual intercourse to bring about erection. Viagra actually contains the active ingredient Sildenafil Citrate which is a selective inhibitor of Cyclic Guanosine Monophosphate (cGMP)-specific phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5).

This drug works efficiently with sexual stimulation. Erectile dysfunction is very common among older men whose sexual function tends to fall after they reach their 50s. But these days even younger men in their 30's and 40's are experiencing an increased incidence of erectile dysfunction.

Doctors can even recommend the drug to both younger and elder men who suffer from erection problems.

Solidification of the arteries, the blood vessels that supply blood to the penis, can occur during the teen years. The problem then develops by the time they reach the age of 20-30 years and more, hindering their ability to get and maintain an erection. Men suffering from diabetes and facing the problem of Erectile dysfunction can be assisted by this drug.

The drug should be ideally taken an hour before the sexual intercourse.

On the other hand, you can also take Viagra half an hour to 4 hours before the sexual intercourse. You don't require having food in order to take the drug. But you need to keep in mind that if you take it after a meal high in fats, it can take a little bit longer for you to experience its effects.

Most importantly, the misuse of Viagra should be avoided. It should be taken only under medical supervision. The drug doesn't have the power to help you ejaculate easily if you suffer from problems related to orgasm or even enhance your sexual appetite. It does not enhance sexual timing, so should not be used to treat premature ejaculation. Men also shouldn't expect the drug to take the erections to unexpected heights.

Word of Caution:

One should never take the drug for recreational purposes. One can end up suffering from minor erectile dysfunction due such abuse.



When Should You Use Viagra?

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