4 Things to Know Before You Lose Your Virginity

Losing your virginity can be a big experience and can be exciting as well as nerve-wrecking at the same time. Its significance is different for everyone and there are no wrong or right ways to lose your virginity. Making your first time a memorable experience is easy if you know and remember these 4 things:

1. Relax

You might be conscious about your body or nervous about pain or pleasing your partner, but you need not be. It is natural to feel insecure and nervous, but communicating your reservations with your partner will clear the air between both of you, helping you level your expectations and relax. Your first time is about exploring each other's body and pleasuring each other as well as an understanding partner will help you relax and forget your insecurities.

2. It might hurt a bit

If you are a woman, intercourse for the first time might hurt a bit if your vagina is not well lubricated before you have sex. Also, you might feel some pain and/or bleed if your hymen tears, but it will not be excruciating pain. Worrying about the pain is a lot scarier than the actual pain. Some women may not experience any pain at all. However, you should make sure you are well lubricated. Foreplay is a great way to get ready for intercourse and if it is still painful you could use additional lubricants to minimize discomfort and pain.

3. Go slow

If you are a man, help your partner be comfortable by going slow in accordance to their wish. Going too fast may hurt your partner if they are not comfortable and make your first time a traumatic experience. Try to gauge your partner's reactions and proceed in a way pleasurable to both of you. Penetrating too soon might cause you to ejaculate too quickly before your partner has climaxed. Indulge in foreplay so that both of you are ready. If your partner ejaculates too fast or is unable to hold his erection, do not feel rejected or angry, support him and help him get aroused again, as it is just an effect of nervousness and excitement.

4. Use protection

There is no truth in the saying that you cannot get an STD on your first time. It is completely possible and the only way to prevent that is to use condoms or not have penetrative sex. Women can get pregnant during unprotected sex and unless you plan to become pregnant, panicking about being pregnant for days after your first time will ruin your first time and peace of mind. Use birth control and/or condoms to prevent unwanted pregnancy after your first time, and both your partner and you will be able to enjoy losing your virginity without any worries.



4 Things to Know Before You Lose Your Virginity

All you need to know about Premature Ejaculation

Many of the sexual issues are primarily not big problems. However, because of the taboo and inhibition around them, they are not discussed openly, hence they also fail to get resolved and become bigger. In fact most of the times there are no visible symptoms of any functional problems. Many of them are very basic issues and because of ignorance, myths, and social taboos lead to development of anxieties, distress and further worsening of the problem.

Often men are concerned about their performance in bed with their partner. They worry about- how best then can do, masturbation habits, size of penis and sperm quality. 

Consequences of Premature ejaculation (PE): 
Both you and your partner may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can significantly increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 

PE is one such sexual issue. It's not a disease; Not at all..!! 
If a person is sexually fit and experiences normal erections but just fail to hold the orgasm/ discharge for reasonable time then he is suffering from premature ejaculation. It's  a very normal problem, which if managed properly it can be easily resolved.

We will discuss this PE in 4 parts covering: what it is in actual, how does it happen, how to approach to resolve this problem with behavioural methods, exercise, techniques and medical remedies present in both modern and alternative medicine. 
Let s understand the problem in this 1st part!

What is Premature Ejaculation? 

Premature (early) ejaculation also referred to as rapid ejaculation; also called as early discharge. 
PE is the most common type of sexual dysfunction in men younger than 40 years and seen across all age groups. In elderly men (>60 years) erectile dysfunction is more common. A study conducted by the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed that this condition is almost equally prevalent in sexually active men of all age groups. 
If a man experiences uncontrollable ejaculation (discharge of semen from your penis) either before or shortly after sexual penetration (usually within 1-2 minutes of penetration), he may be suffering from PE. The Mayo clinic at the United States defines PE as a condition in which  a man  always or nearly always ejaculates within one minute of penetration."

Instances of PE:
An occasional instance of premature ejaculation might not be cause of concern, but, if the problem occurs more than 50% of attempted sexual relations signifies existence of abnormal pattern for which treatment is required.

Premature ejaculation takes place with negligible sexual stimulation and even before the desire 
to ejaculate. Another way of describing PE by most therapist or clinicians is the occurrence of ejaculation sooner during sexual intercourse than he or his partner would like. 

This broad definition thus avoids specifying a precise  normal  duration for sexual activity and reaching a climax. The duration of sexual activity is highly variable and depends on various factors specific to each individual. Take a situation, a male may reach orgasm after 7 to 8 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner is able to achieve climax mostly in 5 minutes and both are satisfied with this timing, then this is not defined as PE. 

Alternatively, a male might delay his ejaculation for up to 15- 20 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner, even with foreplay, requires 25-30 minutes of total sexual activity before reaching climax, he may still consider his ejaculation premature because his partner has not been satisfied (at least, not through intercourse). But in routine practice this kind of situation is NOT called as PE. So every individual and every couple is unique. Same individual may have different sexual behaviour with different partners and different circumstances. Varied situations and varied places of performing the act have a vital role to play in determining the outcomes of individual sexual performance/s.



Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 1: Understanding What is PE

How much sex should you really have?

Sex is an extremely personal and subjective matter. Different individuals relate to and indulge in sex differently. The idea of sex also varies from person to person and may not always fit the stereotypical penile-vaginal penetrative intercourse.

There is no way of determining exactly how much sex is good and how much of it is too much. Some people like to be sexually active with thorough regularity while others find comfort in abstinence. Age also plays an important role here with people between the ages of 18-29 indulging in higher levels of sexual activity than those who are middle-aged or elderly.

The different levels and frequencies of sexual activity have varying degrees of impacts on the overall mental, physical and sexual health of a person. There are numerous health benefits attached to having an active sex life, which manifests themselves in both the body and the mind.

The health benefits of having sex are - 
As per studies conducted, it has been shown that having sex, at least, two times a week can boost overall physical and mental health. The many health benefits of being sexually active are as follows:
   It improves immunity and makes the body more resilient to diseases
   It improves bladder control in women and prevents urinary incontinence
   It prevents erectile dysfunction in men
   It improves blood circulation and lowers blood pressure
   It acts as a stress reliever
   It improves functioning of the heart and lowers the risk of heart disease
   It reduces sensitivity to pain
There are several other benefits of sex, which include the effective healing and nurturing of the body in a holistic manner.

Is there a limit to having sex?
A large number of people all around the world are concerned about their carnal compulsions and frequently approach sex therapists about what frequency of sex constitutes as a 'healthy' dose.

There really is no such thing as too much sex. But if overindulgence in sexual activities causes a disturbance in everyday activities such as work, classes, household responsibilities and other obligations, it becomes a problem. If such a situation arises, it might be signs of a sex addiction in which case it is important to consult a sexologist or sex therapist. Ideally, having sex two times a day is good for your body, mind and soul.



How much sex should you really have?

There is hardly any person who does not want to enjoy a healthy and satisfying sex life. As per Ayurveda, a healthy sex life is very much a reality provided one diligently follows the golden sex rules as mentioned in various Ayurvedic books and journals:

Ayurveda believes that a couple should refrain from having sex when the female partner is having her periods. Some health experts are of the belief that sex during periods may give rise to a condition termed as Endometriosis (the endometrial cells grow outside the uterus, often in the ovary or the fallopian tubes).
According to Ayurveda, an ideal sex position is one where the woman is lying with her face directed in an upward position.
Ayurveda also believes very overweight or obese people should avoid having sex.
Have sex only when your private parts are clean and healthy (as this helps to prevent infections and associated complications).
According to Ayurveda, loyalty and faithfulness are what gets a relationship going. Infidelity, adultery, or cheating on your wife is a crime that will only spell doom.
Ayurveda is against a couple having sex during pregnancy or immediately after delivery. One should have control over their urges. It further states that a 5-months time in the case of a C-section and 2-3 months interval in the case of a normal delivery will go a long way in ensuring a healthy sex life (will help the woman to recover well).
Ayurveda is vehemently opposes violent sex. Making love is suppose to soothe your soul rather than scar it. Violence during sex is not healthy at all.
Ayurveda believes in having sex using sexual organs. Thus, oral sex and other similar pleasures are a big No as per Ayurveda.
Ayurveda does not advocate the practice of having sex on days of prime significance such as festivals, various eclipses, on a full moon or new moon nights, to name a few.
Sex on empty stomach or after a heavy meal can trigger a plethora of health problems by causing a Vata and Pitta imbalance. The imbalance may give rise to digestive problems, headache, gastritis.
Ayurveda is strictly against the idea of having sex with aged women or with children.
Always have sex when both the partners are in a comfortable position. This is to ensure that you enjoy the intercourse sans any injury.
Never have sex if you are sick or physically and mentally not fit.
Having sex with animals (bestiality) is considered unhealthy as per Ayurveda.
Sex is not a wise idea when you have to lighten yourself (defecate or urinate).
According to Ayurveda, your sex life is governed by the four seasons during which your body strength changes.
The body strength is the lowest during the monsoon and summer, hence have less sex during that time (once in fifteen days).
With moderate body strength, sex once in three days is advisable during spring and summer.
During winter the body strength is at its peak, hence one can have sex daily.

Golden Sex Rules Of Ayurveda!

5 lifestyle changes that directly improve your sex life

You can improve your sexual experience as well as any sexual problem that you may encounter by adopting healthy lifestyle habits. A healthy lifestyle is vital for experiencing sexual arousal, which requires your overall health and cardiovascular system to be in their best form.

These 5 lifestyle changes will help you to achieve your goal:

1. Quitting smoking
Smoking causes the development of a condition known as vasoconstriction (which is a contraction of the blood vessels that brings about a decrease in blood flow), not to mention damage to the veins and arteries. The small veins in the penis are typically more prone to this kind of damage. The only way you can prevent this kind of damage from happening is by kicking this habit. As a consequence, you experience an increase in your sex drive as well as an improvement in your sex life.


2. Exercising regularly
Exercising regularly enables your body's cardiovascular system to remain healthy and this is important for maintaining and sustaining an erection as well as increasing your sex drive. It is also believed that exercise can increase sex hormones and endorphins level in a woman's body, apart from helping her to improve her body image.


3. Having a healthy diet
For good sexual health, you need to have fruits and vegetables that are rich in anti-oxidants such as strawberries, oranges, spinach or broccoli and omega - 3 fatty acids rich food options such as walnuts, flaxseeds, salmon or tuna. Taking supplements can also help in boosting your libido.


4. Limiting your drinks
Drinking in moderate amounts can help in protecting you from heart disease and certain cancers. But if you have too much of alcohol, it can act as a depressant and lead to anxiety problems as well as a host of sexual problems including delayed ejaculation, erections, and vaginal dryness. Ideally, you should have one drink a day if you're a woman and two in the case of men.

5. Reducing stress
Cutting down your stress levels can see your sex life improving for the better. This is because it raises the levels of hormones that get in the way of your sex hormones, namely, cortisol or stress hormone, and adrenaline (a hormone produced by the adrenal gland).

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Symptoms of Psycho-Sexual Disorder You Need to Know

5 Lifestyle Changes That Directly Improve Your Sex Life

Your good intention during intercourse might be to give your partner an intense orgasm, but orgasms aren t something one can  give . All you can do is make the conditions more favorable for the other person to have them by manipulating your moves. 

Here are six ways in which you can orgasm better: 

Don t skip the foreplay: Just like it is not a good idea to run a marathon without sufficient warm up, it isn t advisable to skip or shorten the foreplay. Explore and find out and choose the right kinds of foreplay that take the arousal to great heights. Oral sex, clitoral stimulation and self-stimulation during sex are incredible in achieving a better climax. 
Experiment with edging: Try what we call 'edging'. That is, bring yourself close to climax, then stop short of reaching climax, and after a pause a few seconds, rebuild your arousal   again just close to climax. Repeat this until you can't hold any more and then come! The resulting orgasm is very intense and worth the effort. 
Try sex toys: Once in a while let a sex toy join the fun. Sex toys are useful in maximizing the pleasure levels during intercourse or solo. 
Use a lubricant: Don t think that a lube just addresses the vaginal dryness and painful intercourse. Research shows that as many as 50% women get better orgasms when they use lubricants. The lubrication adds sensitivity to the genitals and helps get good orgasms. 
Target the C-spot: A lot of women have problems in getting orgasms during intercourse as the clitoris isn t stimulated enough. The clitoris has the maximum number of nerve endings and during intercourse, clitoral contact is needed for most women to reach orgasm. Tip: Try out woman-on top, side-to-side and doggy style positions for clitoral stimulation. There are many more options too. 
Do not overlook the testes: Stroking your sack upwards right before getting an orgasm adds more power to the orgasms in men. The testes are tremendous pleasure points for a man and gently stroking them is useful in heightening the arousal which leads to a stronger orgasm.

6 Ways To Orgasm Better

Don't wait any longer, manage your Sexual Dysfunction online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Sexual Dysfunction - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES