Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

Here is a list of 3 scientifically proven ways of increasing intimacy with your partner.

1. Look them in the eye and tell them all about yourself

Self-disclosure is an important part of relationships, especially during the initial phase. However, gradually as people feel that they've known enough about each other, communication seems to come to a standstill.

But the actual reason for this is not the lack of things to talk about but resistance which arises out of a feeling of vulnerability. It mostly happens in established relationships because both the partners do not wish to break past the certainty and assurance.

Therefore, the revealing part that may lead to some changes in perception is often skipped. However, not doing so and truly communicating with your partner can help you in increasing intimacy and having a deeper connection with your partner.

2. Share the laughter

Sharing the joy and the humorous experiences is a great way of increasing intimacy with your partner. Since every person's sense of humour is different, humour is a deeply personal aspect of your personality. Therefore, when you share genuine laughter with your partner that is when your sense of humour matches with each other, it improves your understanding and builds intimacy.

3. Tell them how you feel and know how they feel

It is extremely important for you to talk with your partner about how you feel - not just about the relationship, but about other important aspects of your life as well. If conflicts are dealt with by discussing how you feel about them and not on the lines of rationality, you end up feeling more intimate with your partner. Honestly discussing and exchanging your feelings is an amazing way of increasing your intimacy with your partner.



3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

3 handy tips to eliminate stress from your sex life

Stress plays a significant role in creating rifts in relationships as it mostly forbids partners from meeting each other?s physical and emotional needs. This reduces intimacy in a relationship and results in an unhappy sex life. In the modern world of continuous work pressure and fast paced lifestyle, stress generally takes away all the energy required to enjoy a fulfilling sex life. Here are some tips, which will prove to be very effective in keeping stress away from your sex life.

1. Don?t make it seem necessary to have sex even if your partner is tired

If you find that stress due to problems at workplace or financial issues is affecting your partner considerably, then respect his/her decision of saying no to sex. Don?t pressurise your partner to get intimate just because you want it. Your patience and understanding nature will increase your partner?s admiration towards you, in turn leading to a more passionate and happier sex life.

2. Try to stay away from performance anxiety

Don?t let performance anxiety take a toll on your sex life. Studies show that being conscious about their performance in bed leads men to lose their erection, which takes all the pleasure away from intimate moments. Instead of being stressed about your sexual performance, focus on your partner?s needs and attend to them for a more pleasurable sex life.

3. Focus on getting rid of other stressful issues from your life

Common tensions of your daily life and everyday issues like the normal household chores, and your duties and responsibilities towards your family often leave you too exhausted to spend time with your partner. Moreover, getting preoccupied with social commitments also minimises the time available for just the two of you.

To prevent these stressful situations from affecting your sex life, try to focus on removing them. For this, you can ask for help from other family members to carry out household chores or diminish your time at social gatherings to be available for each other exclusively. Spending more time in each other?s company will not only brighten your day, but will also give you an enhanced and more intimate relationship.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.


How to Eliminate STRESS From Your SEX Life

6 Unexpectedly easy ways to give your sex life a whole new dimension

New Year is a good the time for new beginnings. At times our sex lives needs to be revived too. After a few years together, a couple’s sex life may begin to stagnate. A boring sex life can negatively impact your relationship as well. But by employing some very easy tricks in the bedroom, you can bring back the passion and add spark to your life. 
Can’t figure out where to start? Here are 6 tips and tricks to help you out. 

1. Be spontaneous: One of the main reasons a couple’s sex life dwindles is because they fall into a routine. Whether it’s the position you choose, or the sequence of events- right from foreplay to the actual intercourse- every couple has their own set routine. Break this monotony and try out new positions that can greatly enhance your pleasure. Also, try having sex somewhere else in the house that you haven’t before to spice things up.

2. Don’t be shy: Sex is one of the most intimate acts you can share with someone. However, sometimes you may find yourself being unable to open up to your partner about what gets you in the mood. This can make sex an unfulfilling experience. Try telling your partner what you’d like him/her to do. You might end up discovering that both of you share a common fantasy you hadn’t spoken about before.

3. Explore all erogenous zones: There are a lot of erogenous zones on a man and woman’s body. Take your time and get to know every single one of them. If you don’t know where they are, explore your partner’s body and see what turns him/her on and where. This is a great exercise that also sets the foundation for more fulfilling sex in the future. 

4. Experiment with your lingerie: Clothes can be a turn on or a turn off depending on what you wear. Try experimenting with your lingerie. A host of options are available out there for both men and women. These days you can even buy edible lingerie on leading online shopping sites. Choose bright shades like red, as they’ve been proven to increase arousal.

5. Play around with sex toys: Introducing sex toys in your bedroom can prove to be very stimulating as well as exciting for both you and your partner. Sex toys come in all shapes and sizes, for both men and women. You can take your pick from vibrators and vibrating rings, handcuffs, etc; even lubricants and gels can be used to enhance pleasure and make sex more exciting.

6. Shave your pubic hair: Another way to give your sex life a whole new dimension, shaving off your pubic hair can increase the sensitivity in your genitals making sex a more pleasurable experience. Besides, for many shaved genitals have a visual appeal and cause intense arousal, which is very important when it comes to having a satisfying sex life. 

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

6 Easy Ways to Give Your Sex Life a New Dimension in 2016

Foods that kill sex drive in men
 
Do you wonder why suddenly at times you go on a zero sex drive? it could happen even when your chemistry with your partner is fine, nothing is heaving on your mind, and you are otherwise healthy too. Only you just don't feel like having sex. This might have to do with what you are eating. 
Here are some of the foods which can kill your sex drive.

1. Diet soda - while staying fit is an excellent idea, drinking diet sodas with artificial sweeteners can be absolute mood killers as they directly affect the levels of serotonin, a hormone which assists you in reaching the zone.
2. Caffeine - it certainly increases stamina for sex. However, for someone who is already nervous, this would mean increased anxiety which in turn would lower the sex drive. Overdose of coffee is known to increase one's stress hormone levels, too, affecting one's sex drive.
3. Chocolate - this is surprising since chocolate is known as an aphrodisiac. A study has shown that since it stimulates love and euphoria, it might also suppress, at times the testosterone levels in the body.
4. Mint - while mint is a good way to clear your breath after a meal, the menthol in it is also known to lower the testosterone. This lowers your sex drive.
5. Popcorn - when popcorn is made in the microwave and eaten, it could totally kill the mood for sex, especially in men. Research suggests that the bag's lining has chemicals which kill sex drive and in the long term can also cause prostrate problems.
6. Cheese - if made of cow's milk, cheese contains a lot of synthetic hormones which are known to mess with human body's natural hormone production that primarily includes testosterone and estrogen.


Did You Know These Shocking Foods Kill Sex Drive In Men?

1. Wash Your Hands Thoroughly - Before having sex, do remember to wash your hands. Maintaining such a basic sexual hygiene habit is important as you will be running your fingers over the tender parts of your partner. Since your hands would have come into contact with germs of all kinds, having sex with dirty hands can bring about infections of those parts. Just as you would wash your hands before having your food, don't skip this habit when it comes to having sex.

2. Communicate - Communication is vital for a healthy sex life, and you'll both feel extremely satisfied if you're on the same page. Whether you need to have conversations about STDs such as HIV, HPV or on different sexual positions and techniques, talking to one another can help you and your partner to understand each other better in between the sheets.

3. Reciprocate - Reciprocity can make or break your sex life. Sex can be satisfying only when you both you and your partner experience the same amount of pleasure. So if your partner focuses on your pleasure spots, make sure to return the favour by turning your attention to his/her erogenous zones.

4. Don't be Afraid to Ask - Good sex is also about letting your partner know what your desires are. By doing so, your partner would be able to respond better to what you want and you'll find your sex life improving for the better.

5. Don't Criticise - In case of any sexual issue that may arise between you and your partner, it's best to solve it together instead of blaming each other. Whatever suggestions you may have for each other, always put them forward in positive terms. Criticism may make your sex life bitter and can also adversely impact your relationship in the long run, so it's best to avoid it.



5 Do's + Don'ts for a Healthy Sex Life

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