Why do men and women respond differently after sex?

Men and women look differently, act differently, dress differently and even communicate in dissimilar ways. Therefore, it's no surprise that their reaction to sex should be different. While men's minds and genitals are usually in alignment, women are less likely to have a link between their mind and genital area. This is because of one of the most complex creations of nature is the human brain, and there are subtle differences in its reactions to different things for both men and women.

How different are the reactions of both the genders to sex?

A study carried out by a psychology professor at queen's university, Meredith chiversk, revealed that while in men the mind and body seem to be in tune with each other, a woman's mind and genitals sometimes respond oppositely to sexual arousal.

What is the reason for this difference in responding?

Firstly, in the case of women, oxytocin (also known as intimacy/cuddle hormone) is released during sex and this hormone encourages bonding and empathy, which leads to an increased feeling of bonding and intimacy.

In the case of men the brain releases more of a hormone, which can make them susceptible to sex addiction. When a man has an orgasm, the main hormone which is released is dopamine (pleasure hormone) and this surge can be addictive.

Men's arousal pattern has repeatedly emphasized their sensitivity to visual stimuli. As soon as the lust-inspiring image registers in their brain, they become turned on, not only physically but also psychologically. Exposure to such erotic stimuli immediately activates that part of their brain that is related to getting an erection. Women, on the other hand, react differently to different stimuli, with their responses varying from emotional to sexual or a mix of both.

The study made use of a total of 134 previous studies of which approximately 1, 900 men and 2, 500 women were a part to come to this conclusion.

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Tip: 8 Unbelievable Health Benefits of Masturbation

Why Do Men and Women Respond Differently After Sex?

Why you must try kegel exercises for an amazing sex life!

Kegel exercise, also known as pelvic floor exercise, is the repeated contraction and relaxation of the pelvic floor, which is the muscular base of the abdomen connected to the pelvis. These simple exercises are proven to enhance the functioning of the pelvic organs and improve sexual health. How you ask? read on to find out.

Both men and women can improve their sex life to a great extent by practicing Kegels.

How does it improve sexual function in women?

 tones and strengthens the vaginal muscles that boost arousal

 causes a tighter grip during intercourse

 leads to more intense contractions during orgasm

How does it improve sexual function in men?

 allows for men to have stronger, long-lasting erections

 keeps the hips and pelvic region healthy

 leads to greater control over ejaculation

 prevents the occurrence of erectile dysfunction

How does kegel exercise betters sex life?

To get started on kegel exercises for a better and healthier sex life, follow these simple steps:

1. Locating the right muscles: the most important part of doing kegel exercises is locating the pleasure-maxing muscles in the pelvic region. This can be done by stopping urination midstream or blocking the passage of gas. Once you've successfully managed to identify the target muscles, kegel exercises can be done anywhere at any time.

2. Staying focused: it is important to stay focused on exercising the pelvic floor muscles. Easy breathing while doing the exercise and keeping from flexing other muscles in the abdomen and buttocks are necessary parts of the routine.

3. Sharpening the technique: practice tightening and releasing the pelvic floor muscles till you have perfected the technique, working up to a 10-second hold before releasing and relaxing for 10 seconds between each contraction.

Repeat daily

Get into a regimen doing 10 to 20 kegel exercises three times a day, holding each one for 10 seconds.

Kegel exercises will not only improve your sex life, but also combat disorders of the bladder and lower intestines. Plus, they've been proven to enhance orgasms, turning them into more frequent occurrences than before.

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Related Tip: 5 Do's + Don'ts for a Healthy Sex Life

Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for an AMAZING Sex Life!

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

In today's time there are various factors, which affects our relation with our partner and among such factors is low libido. Low libido or a decreased sexual activity can affect a relationship in a big way. In some extreme cases, the impact is such that it leads to irreconcilable marital discords. Time and again, an individual, irrespective of their age, sex or occupation can go through periods of low libido. Decreased sexual desire over a longer period of time needs thorough investigation. It could be an indication of something big and serious lying ahead. 
7 critical factors that attribute to low libido: 

1. Hormonal imbalance: women, mostly menopausal and postmenopausal, experience low libido. This is because during menopause, there is a significant drop in the oestrogen level. Reduced oestrogen level can have a huge impact on sexual desires and performance. It can also make the vagina dry, resulting in painful penetration and intercourse. Hormonal imbalance or changes during pregnancy can also result in low libido in females. In males, low libido has been found to be associated with decreased levels of testosterone. 

2. Stress: an individual's mental and emotional state is greatly reflected in their sexual performance. A sound mental health can enhance a performance thousand folds. On the contrary, factors like depression, anxiety and stress, lowers the sexual desires in a person. To enjoy a healthy and normal sexual life, it is important to keep stress and chronically blue moods at bay.

3. Sound sleep to the rescue: the benefits of a sound sleep are beyond imagination. A good 6 - 8 hours of sleep can do your sexual desires or libido a world of good. A sleep deprived soul will be agitated and cranky, both on and off the bed. Continuous sleep deprivation can also lower the testosterone level, resulting in low libido.

4. Medical condition: medical conditions like diabetes, cardiac problems, high blood pressure, or ailments of the coronary artery can rupture an individual's sexual life immensely. Improper functioning of the thyroid glands is another factor contributing to low libido. In such cases, it is best to consult a physician at the earliest. Rest legs syndrome can also contribute to low libido. It is a condition whereby, a male experience an uncontrollable urge to move his legs.

5. Smoking: a killer habit, which affects a person's sexual activity is smoking. Drug abuse and drinking (to some extent) can be equally responsible for a low libido.

6. Change in weight: a sudden change in body weight (gain or loss) can play a significant role in low libido. Take pride in your body structure. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

7. Take a break: boredom can mask your sexual life greatly. Break the monotony, take short breaks, go on vacations and low libido will be a thing of the past.

7 Things That Might Be Causing Your Low Libido

8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life - Sex is probably the most important part of a relationship along with compatibility, trust and comfort. To make your relationship stronger and deeper, happiness in sex life is crucial. It must be the part of your life that you always look forward to and that brings the two of you together irrespective of the way your days go.

Follow these simple protocol to make for a happy sex life and therefore a happy life.

1) Believe you are sexy - Stop undermining yourself. You are sexy, accept it. And believe that your partner gets turned on by you. When you believe that your partner finds you sexy, you will be more interested in sex and so will your partner be.

2) Believe in the little gestures - Sex is not always awesome while you are in the act. The build up through the day can be made with the simplest of actions. A meaningful touch on the breakfast table, a mid-day text saying you miss him and an intimate evening message, or simply holding hands while shopping for grocery, all add up to build the connection between both of you.

3) Focus on the positive - Tell your partner what he does that you like. The kiss on the nape or how their breathe on your skin makes your senses tingle ? tell that. When your partner knows what you like, your bedroom experiments can take interesting turns. Always help your partner focus gently to what gives you pleasure.

4) Make time for sex - When new in a relationship, couples tend to have more sex and the frequency diminishes once they are comfortable in the situation. Avoid this; sex should be in your priority list at all times. Sex indeed should be a natural event. However, our lifestyles don't permit it. Also, there are too many distractions. If you need to schedule sex, it's okay. The idea is to indulge in it. You both have your needs and they should be fulfilled, right?

5) Fantasize - One great way to keep the passion alive is to share your fantasies. Doesn't matter how dirty it is, don't worry about what your partner will think. Far from judging, you yourself might realize something new about your partner. Chances are, that you might love the fantasies you both talk about.

6) Take it easy -  In real life, it is okay to not be perfect, to stop to catch breath and be real. To be happy with your sex life doesn't mean having spectacular sex every time. More than how you perform, it is how the experience was for both of you. Enjoy the process, it is for real.

7) Be responsive - Respond, even if you are not in the mood. Don't shun your partner because you are not in the mood. But if one of you wants to have sex, pushing them away is not a good idea. And if you still don't want to go ahead, explain that it's not them, but the time and plan to connect some time in near future.

8) Be willing to have sex - If you would rather watch tv all day rather than have sex and then do it nevertheless just because your partner initiated it, they would know. Never make your partner feel that you are having sex out of obligation. This is a mood killer and a guarantee for low satisfaction derived. Make sex an enjoyable affair, think what all you like and show them to your partner. 

If you have any further questions on sexual health, ask me by clicking on 'Consult'.

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Having Better Sex - 8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life

5 reasons your partner doesn't want to have sex anymore

There are innumerable explanations as to why couples in long-term relationships find themselves in situations when either one of the partner's starts avoiding sex for a reason the other cannot comprehend.

The explanation for your partner's behaviour may be due to an underlying medical issue or various emotional or psychological factors. Following are a few reasons why your partner does not want to have sex anymore:

1. Physical factors: your partner might be experiencing a loss of libido due to physical ailments, particularly ones pertaining to the endocrine and circulatory systems. Disorders such as diabetes, hypothyroidism, heart complications to name a few, affect the hormone levels in the body, which leads to the lack of sexual drive.

2. Psychological factors: Many mental and emotional factors also affect libido in both men and women. Stress and depression, which often cause sleep deprivation, are two of the biggest causes of unwillingness to have sex. Talk to your partner about what the root of the problem is and ascertain what is creating stress and triggering depression. Communication and counselling are the main ways of dealing with such a situation.

3. Excessive masturbation: If a person watches too much pornography and consequently indulges in masturbation frequently, sexual function is automatically lowered when it comes to performing during intercourse. If your partner masturbates too much, simply ask that the practice needs to be put an end to.

4. Lack of affection: When there is a lack of warmth and affection between partners, the desire to engage in sexual intercourse is automatically diminished. Communicate with your companion to determine ways in which you can rekindle love and passion in the relationship.

5. Addiction to narcotics: If your partner has developed an addiction to certain narcotics, such as nicotine, morphine and various anti-depressants that reduce sex drive, it could be the reason for not wanting to have sex.

The reasons for developing an aversion to sex are often extremely subjective and complex. Open and honest communications between partners may unravel the problem but in many cases, therapy and medical assistance provides the solution.



5 Reasons Your Partner Doesn't Want to Have Sex Anymore

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