5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

6 Dangerous Effects of Alcohol on Your Sexual Well-Being

While small amounts of alcohol do not have any effect on your sexual health, moderate amounts of drinking are known to cause problems in both men and women.

Let's take a look at the effect alcohol may have on your body and sex life:

1. It acts as a depressant - Acting as a depressant (a drug that reduces stimulation or arousal in various parts of the brain), alcohol inhibits certain areas of the central nervous system that are important for orgasm and arousal, more specifically - the circulation, respiration, and feeling of nerve endings.

2. It dehydrates your body - Sexual arousal requires an adequate supply of oxygen and flow of blood to the private areas so as enable you to experience the different sensations that accompany a sexual act. Adequate blood flow in the case of women is important for lubrication and in the case of men for developing and sustaining an erection. Less fluid in the body and a depressed nervous system can affect your sexual performance.

3. It's not an aphrodisiac if you go overboard - Several studies show that alcohol can help certain people to overcome feelings of deficiency or sexual reserve. This can only happen if you limit your consumption to only 1-2 drinks. If you go overboard, the depressant action of the drink begins to take effect preventing your body's ability to react sexually.

4. It causes fewer erections - Drinking large amounts of alcohol or even long-term drinking can cause erection problems to develop. Erectile dysfunction is said to occur when too much drinking causes dehydration leading to a decrease in blood volume and an increase in the angiotensin hormone, which is associated with ED. The likelihood of this occurring gets further increased if the body's central nervous system is unable to act in a natural way.

5. It leads to delayed ejaculation and orgasm - A 2004 study reveals that about 11% of alcohol users face difficulty in having an orgasm. While the men faced difficulty in ejaculating, women participants required more stimulation to reach an orgasm, compared to men and women who did not drink or drank little.

6. It causes vaginal dryness - The dehydrating effect that normally occurs if you drink a lot can also cause vaginal dryness. It causes a decrease in your sensations and hampers the production of vaginal secretions for sexual penetration, leading to painful sex.



6 Dangerous Effects of Alcohol on Your Sexual Well Being

8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life - Sex is probably the most important part of a relationship along with compatibility, trust and comfort. To make your relationship stronger and deeper, happiness in sex life is crucial. It must be the part of your life that you always look forward to and that brings the two of you together irrespective of the way your days go.

Follow these simple protocol to make for a happy sex life and therefore a happy life.

1) Believe you are sexy - Stop undermining yourself. You are sexy, accept it. And believe that your partner gets turned on by you. When you believe that your partner finds you sexy, you will be more interested in sex and so will your partner be.

2) Believe in the little gestures - Sex is not always awesome while you are in the act. The build up through the day can be made with the simplest of actions. A meaningful touch on the breakfast table, a mid-day text saying you miss him and an intimate evening message, or simply holding hands while shopping for grocery, all add up to build the connection between both of you.

3) Focus on the positive - Tell your partner what he does that you like. The kiss on the nape or how their breathe on your skin makes your senses tingle ? tell that. When your partner knows what you like, your bedroom experiments can take interesting turns. Always help your partner focus gently to what gives you pleasure.

4) Make time for sex - When new in a relationship, couples tend to have more sex and the frequency diminishes once they are comfortable in the situation. Avoid this; sex should be in your priority list at all times. Sex indeed should be a natural event. However, our lifestyles don't permit it. Also, there are too many distractions. If you need to schedule sex, it's okay. The idea is to indulge in it. You both have your needs and they should be fulfilled, right?

5) Fantasize - One great way to keep the passion alive is to share your fantasies. Doesn't matter how dirty it is, don't worry about what your partner will think. Far from judging, you yourself might realize something new about your partner. Chances are, that you might love the fantasies you both talk about.

6) Take it easy -  In real life, it is okay to not be perfect, to stop to catch breath and be real. To be happy with your sex life doesn't mean having spectacular sex every time. More than how you perform, it is how the experience was for both of you. Enjoy the process, it is for real.

7) Be responsive - Respond, even if you are not in the mood. Don't shun your partner because you are not in the mood. But if one of you wants to have sex, pushing them away is not a good idea. And if you still don't want to go ahead, explain that it's not them, but the time and plan to connect some time in near future.

8) Be willing to have sex - If you would rather watch tv all day rather than have sex and then do it nevertheless just because your partner initiated it, they would know. Never make your partner feel that you are having sex out of obligation. This is a mood killer and a guarantee for low satisfaction derived. Make sex an enjoyable affair, think what all you like and show them to your partner. 

If you have any further questions on sexual health, ask me by clicking on 'Consult'.

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Having Better Sex - 8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life

Viagra doesn t boost your libido, it simply works when the man is sexually aroused, by giving him the power to perform and enjoy a passionate stance. Instead of depending on an external drug, go natural by adopting the following means by not only increasing your libido but also enhancing performance.

4 powerful ways to make your sex life better

1) Natural Nitric Boosters - They are a must have if you want a better sexual health. Nitric oxide is one of the main reasons behind an  erection  and therefore, it can be directly taken in the form of food or as a supplement. It helps in preventing blood pressure, cardiovascular diseases and improves the blood flow. There are certain foods that can boost nitric oxide naturally, such as dark chocolate, walnuts, pomegranate, watermelon, brown rice, beets and garlic.

2) Exercise - It is important to exercise and stay fit if you want a healthier sex life. You shouldn t have to do furious strength training. Instead, simply opt for cardio exercises, do strength training or weight lifting if you like. 

3) The greens - There are several greens that, when combined with the bacteria in your gut can help in transforming nitrites to nitric oxide. This includes cabbage, iceberg lettuce, parsley, spinach, celery and collard greens.

4) Sunlight - Sunlight provides us with Vitamin D and also gives the skin an opportunity to synthesize more nitric oxide. 


4 Recommended Natural Sex Boosters 

Habits causing reduction in sperm count

There are a few very common things that a man consumes or does every day without even realizing, that they have a tendency to reduce his fertility. These causes start from drinking and could end with something as harmless as caffeine. Let’s see which habits can cause reduction in sperm count thereby reducing fertility of a man.

1. Eating processed meat harms sperm quality.
2. Excessive usage of laptop can also lead to reduction in sperm count because of the heat that a laptop releases.
3. Hormonal imbalance also causes low sperm production.
4. If a man is underweight or overweight, this could also lead to less production of sperm. So, a man should watch his weight before thinking of extending his family.
5. Exposure to too much heat for a prolonged time leads to reduction in sperm count.
6. Regular smoking also leads to reduction in sperm count.
7.Excessive stress also causes reduction in sperm count.
8. Regular and continuous exposure to chemicals like xylene, painting material and metal like lead also leads to low sperm count.
9. Chemicals present in sunscreen lotion can harm a man’s sperm count so one should be alert while using a sunscreen lotion.
10. Sex toys also cause infertility in men because of presence of phthalates in   them.
11. Regular intake of canned food can also contribute in low sperm count.
12. Regular drinking habits reduce testosterone levels thereby reducing the quality and production of sperm.
13. Excessive intake of canned food leads to intake of bisphenol A which lowers down the quality of the sperm.
14. Excess intake of caffeine also leads to reduction in sperm count.
15. Lack of exercise and laziness also reduces sperm count to a great extent.

Some of the above-mentioned things can be unavoidable, but point here is that taking everything in moderate quantity doesn’t do any harm but problem occurs when the intake is excessive, regular and beyond limit. So, it’s better to reduce the quantity and regular use of such things than letting it affect your sperm count.




Did You Know These 15 Habits Are Reducing Your Sperm Count?

6 Symptoms of Low Testosterone

Testosterone is an important hormone for men and is responsible for male sexual and reproductive health. It begins to spike during the years of puberty, helping in development of primary and secondary sexual characters. In boys, it helps to build muscles, deepens his voice, and boosts the size of their penis and testes. It plays an important role during later years as well, by maintaining mood, libido, emotional and physical health. That’s why low testosterone can cause a variety of problems in men. 

Here is a list of symptoms that will help you understand if you may have lower testosterone levels.

1. Drop in Energy: Sometimes, we all feel full of energy, but sometimes those energy levels are quite low. And then, there are occasions when we feel low on energy, you may feel that you are getting tired easily and frequently. Fatigue is one of the common effects of low testosterone. If this happens with you regularly, if you are tired all the time despite sleeping for 6-8 hours, consider getting yourself checked by a consultant.

2. Changes in Sex Life: A sudden drop in your sex drive or facing problems in erection (erectile dysfunction) can be another  common symptom of low testosterone. But you should get yourself tested for other conditions as well, including heart disease or diabetes, especially if you are over 35 years of age. Ask for online consultation if you want everything to be private and discreet.
 
 3. Fuzzy Thinking: Do you sometimes think that your thoughts are a blur? Low testosterone can also impact your memory. It can make you feel stressed, sad and even depressed, resulting in concentration problems. These  can be a result of low testosterone

4. Mood Changes: Testosterone directly impacts your mood, even leading to extreme sadness or psychological depression. If nothing seems to make you happy, if you are not what you used to be, then visit a doctor.

5. Muscle Changes: Muscle mass and strength reduces over the years. As testosterone helps build muscle, low levels may be the cause if you witness sudden drop in muscle mass. In such a case you should consult a doctor. It can be because of low hormone function.

6. More Body Fat: If you have been enjoying a more fit or healthier weight most of your life but suddenly start gaining weight, it might point towards low testosterone in the body. Also, if you are unable to lose weight even on a healthy diet, consider consulting a doctor.



6 Symptoms of Lower Testosterone - Most Important Male Sex Hormone

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