In many cases; divorce and separation leads not only to bad blood between the parents, but also in a child alienating himself from one parent. Insulting or belittling one parent without justification or under pressure from the other parent is known as parental alienation syndrome. Parental alienation involves one parent undermining the other and interfering with the child s relationship with the other parent by limiting contact with them, bad mouthing them, forbidding discussion about them etc. This can have a very negative effect on the child s emotional state.

1. Self hatred: For children, hatred is not inborn, but developed by the situations they are in. By bad mouthing a parent and teaching the child to hate the parent, the child himself is harmed. With time, he begins to internalize this hatred and believe that there is something wrong with him that made the alienated parent not want him.

2. Low self esteem: When a child is not allowed to speak his mind and has to bottle up his thoughts, he becomes socially withdrawn. Often the child begins to feel that he is the cause for the rift in the family and makes himself responsible for the separation. This intensifies with time and makes the child lose confidence in himself leading to low self esteem.

3. Lack of trust: When a child is suddenly pulled away from one parent and told how that parent is not a  good person  the child is likely to feel betrayed. This creates a sense of doubt in the child s mind and makes it difficult for him to trust other people. As he grows up, this can affect his own adult relationships as well.

4. Depression: Depression is a commonly seen in children from broken homes and this is intensified in cases of parental alienation. It is rooted in the child s feeling unloved by either one of the parents and built up by the separation. Not being given a chance to speak about their feelings or talk about the situation makes them more depressed and they begin to withdraw into themselves. In many cases, it is noted that alienated children have strained relationships with their own children as well.

5. Substance abuse: Depression is one of the most common triggers for substance abuse. Alienated children often feels trapped and that they have no outlet to vent their feelings and frustrations. This often makes them turn towards drugs for relief and can make them victims of substance abuse.

Effects of Parental Alienation Syndrome on Children

What is Addiction?

Addiction is a condition in which individual engages in using a substance or seeking a behaviour which leads to rewarding effects in the brain and it reinforce the individual to repeat the using or seeking behaviour again and again. Addiction develops gradually over a period of time and due to the repetition of same pleasure seeking pattern individual become physically and psychologically dependent on the substance or to any other object at the center of addiction.

People can get addicted to many substances like, alcohol, nicotine, drugs, solvents, etc. In case of these substances, physical and mental dependency both can occur. There are other objects and behaviours which also activate brain reward system in the same way and can make people dependent on them, like gambling, shopping, videogames, watching pornography, etc. But in case of these objects or behaviours, psychological dependency can be more prominent.

It has been seen that there are lots of other mental problems found among individuals suffering from any kind of addiction, like anxiety, depression, personality disorders, psychosis, etc. Individual who is addicted to a substance or an object or behaviour indulge into compulsive pattern of seeking the same inspite of their detrimental consequences. Consequences of addiction can be seen on person s health, personal life, occupational life and social life. Addiction can lead to severe unmanageability in one s life.

Especially when it comes to substances, like alcohol, nicotine or any kind of drugs, we must understand how the tolerance level of the brain develops? Tolerance develops when an individual no longer responds to a substance in the way he/she did at first. So, it takes a higher dose of the substance to achieve the same effect as when the individual first used it. This is why people with substance use disorders use more and more of a drug to get the  high  feeling that they seek.



A blog posted by an alcoholic:

 I always wished I could drink like other people. But I never could. I thought it was the third drink that got me into trouble. If I only had two, then I d be fine. Thing is, once I put that first drink to my lips, I could no longer accurately predict what would happen next. I might go home, but I might not.

You d think if I made it home, then my drinking was a success. Wrong! If I made it home after two drinks, there was an insatiable need raging within me and I was gonna take it out on you.  After all, you re the reason why I had to come home. I would punish my family by being silent, or mean, or emotionally distant.

Looking back, it was never intentional. I didn t purposely choose not to go home.  I didn t leave the house with a suitcase containing a fresh set of clothes, a tooth brush and my cosmetics. Seriously, I was only going out for  a few. 

If anybody can relate to this or can understand this, he or she can understand tolerance, powerlessness and unmanageability.

How to recover from addiction?

To be an addict can t be anybody s choice, but recovery can be one s choice. The first key step to come out of your addiction is developing acceptance. For a person to admit their powerlessness in addiction to drugs or alcohol or to any other object at the center of addiction is a monumental first step to recovery. Powerlessness means the person do not have any control over his/her use of substance. Powerlessness may indicate weakness and helplessness; some may think it fosters a victim mentality. Acceptance starts developing when a person admit that he or she is powerless over the substance or object at the center of addiction and their life have become unmanageable because of that.

Addiction is a disease and recovery is not an easy process. Individuals who are already into the grip of addiction need to seek help. One cannot go through the journey of recovery alone. There is a myth that addiction is a habit and one can get out of it if he or she has the  Will Power . It s actually not true. To get out of the disease you need to develop  Skill Power , like skills to understand your physical and psychological mechanisms when it comes to the substance or the object of addictions, skills to handle cravings, skills to be assertive enough to manage social cues, skills to deal with day to day life stressors, etc. And in this process of developing skills and maintaining your recovery you need help of professionals.

A complete treatment program has three important approaches. First one is psychopharmacological (medicine) approach, second is psychotherapeutic approach and the third one is the 12 step program of alcohol/narcotics anonymous. A combination of psychotherapies along with the basic essence of 12 step program can bring greater outcomes in individual suffering from addiction.

Understanding Addiction And The Key Steps To Recover From It!

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a type of personality disorder characterized by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image and behaviour. This often results in impulsive actions and problems in relationships and at work. You may experience intense episodes of various emotions like anger, depression and anxiety that may last for a few hours to a few days.

Diagnosis of BPD
If you experience the following 10 symptoms for a long time or if they have had a huge impact on your daily life, you may say that you are suffering from BPD:

Feeling of being abandoned. You feel that people may abandon you and are constantly worried about that. You would do anything to stop it.
Frequent mood swings. You experience intense emotions that last from a few hours to a few days. E.g. You suddenly start feeling low and depressed after feeling very happy and confident for a while.
Lack of identity. You don t know who you are and do not have a strong sense of your being.
Unable to sustain relationships. You find it very hard to retain relationships and make new ones.
You feel empty from within all the time.
Make impulsive decisions and show sudden reactions. You do things to harm yourself like binge eating, drug abuse or driving dangerously.
You inflict pain on yourself or have suicidal feelings.
You have anger issues which are very difficult to control.
You get paranoid or dissociate when you re stressed.
You experience all your emotions very intensely be it anger, happiness or sadness.
Self-Care - How can you help yourself?
If you start feeling overwhelmed, focus on one feeling at a time. It will help channelize your energy and thoughts into finding a solution for that emotion. Different therapies help different people at different times. You are the best judge to decide what benefits you the most.

Follow these tips to get through the various emotions that you may experience.

When you are angry and frustrated
Rip a newspaper
Hit a pillow
Listen to your favourite music
Go for a walk or do some vigorous exercise
When you are depressed and lonely
Wrap yourself in a blanket and watch your favourite movie or TV show.
Write all the negative feelings on a piece of paper and tear the paper.
Use positive affirmations to comfort yourself.
Cuddle a pillow/pet/soft toy
When you are tensed and anxious 
Try to shift your focus to something else like music, yoga or meditation.
Take a deep breath, use relaxation techniques and focus on your breaths.
Take a warm bath to help soothe your mood.
When you want to harm yourself
Rub ice over the parts where you want to hurt yourself.
Take a cold-water bath to cool yourself.



Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - Tips To Help You Diagnose The Problem!

If you are a heavy drinker and consume excess alcohol, you may face severe consequences related to short-term and long-term health. Alcohol has several negative impacts and affects on your heart. Although occasional drinking does not cause much harm, excess drinking may lead to many heart complications. There are chances of the development of cardiovascular diseases in an alcoholic person.
Alcohol affects the heart in several ways. Binge drinkers are more prone to face these complications. A person who drinks alcohol regularly, drinks very fast and drinks much more than the recommended consumption limit during a single session is called a binge drinker.

Here the ways in which alcohol affects your heart:

Alcohol weakens the heart muscles: Heavy drinking for a long span of time tends to weaken the heart muscles. A condition known alcoholic cardiomyopathy may be caused. When the heart gets weakened, proper contraction gets disrupted and the heart is unable to pump sufficient amount of blood. Due to this, a person may experience certain symptoms such as tiredness, irregular heart rhythm, shortness of breath and swelling of the feet and legs. This can also lead to a heart failure.
Alcohol affects your heart beat rate: Binge drinking and regular drinking over a long period of time may affect the rate of the heart beat or how quickly the heart beats. Alcohol may cause the heart to beat too fast, and irregular beating is observed. This is a condition known as arrhythmias, which may have grave consequences on your health. If you are not a regular drinker but drink too much in a day, you could face this condition.
Alcohol can lead to high blood pressure and also cause a stroke: Binge drinking leads to increased blood pressure, also known as hypertension. The blood vessels become stiff, and this causes the pressure to rise in the arteries and veins. Heavy consumption of alcohol may also trigger several stress hormones to be released, which cause a constriction in the blood vessels. This leads to increased blood pressure. Hypertension may lead to a heart attack or stroke.
In order to reduce the negative impacts of alcohol on your heart and overall health, you must practice drinking in moderation. You must not drink more than fourteen units of alcohol in a single week. Consume these fourteen units in three to four parts instead of consuming it all at once. You should give gaps and avoid regular drinking.

Alcohol - How It Affects Your Health?

Effects of Smoking on Sexual Health

Smoking, in general, has a negative effect on the human body. It can cause a host of disorders such as mouth cancer, blood pressure problems, and lung cancer. Smoking affects the sexual performance of both men and women.

Here are some effects that smoking has on sex

1. Impotence: Smoking can damage the blood vessels that lead to erectile dysfunction (a condition where the penis cannot sustain an erection).

2. Decrease in libido: Smoking can cause various physical problems such as stamina reduction and lack of desire for sex. An individual who smokes won't be able to give an optimal sexual performance and this can further lower satisfaction levels.

3. Erectile dysfunction: Smoking can cause problems related to the circulation of the blood in the body. It can narrow the arteries that supply blood and this is directly linked with erectile dysfunction.

4. Tissue damage: Smoking can damage the tissues inside the penis thus impairing your ability to have an erection during sexual intercourse.

5. Early onset of menopause: It can affect the estrogen (a sex hormone) levels in the female body; so, women who smoke tend to reach menopause early.

6. Reduction in penis size: It can reduce the penis size in men by damaging the blood vessels and the structure of the tissue around the penis. This is more common in younger men.

7. Reduction in stamina: Smoking can cause a reduction in the stamina, thus a person will not be able to perform well sexually. It can lead to fatigue and tiredness during sex.

Of course, there are a lot of therapies which can help you recover from the damage already happened because of smoking and prevent further damage.

Does Smoking Affect Your Performance in Bed?

Just as children grow at different speeds, they respond to a speech therapist at different paces. Some children may need only one or two classes to master a sound, while others may need much longer. Some of the ways to make working with a speech therapist more productive are:

Have Clear Goals: When a speech therapist enters your family, the parents, therapist and child should have the same goals. Therapy would not help if the parents and therapists wanted to focus on different things. For example, the parents might be concerned with the child s vocabulary while the therapist may want to focus on articulations. Similarly, if the child does not understand the goal, he or she may not show much improvement. Ideally, a goal should be clear, measurable, realistic and be associated with a time frame. It should also be challenging but not out of reach.
Homework: A therapist has a limited amount of time to spend with the child. A majority of this time must be spent in learning something new each session. However, this will not be possible unless the child has made progress since the last class. Hence, it becomes important for the therapist to give the child homework and for the parents to oversee this. Video tutorials can be very helpful here. This helps parents know exactly what the child is supposed to practise.
Trust: A speech therapist may be an outsider to the family but he or she must be trusted to do their job in the way they think best. Very often, parents and therapists may not have the same views about how the child should be taught. Here, it is important to remember that the therapist is the expert and knows what he or she is doing. This is another reason why it is important to set clear goals together at the onset of therapy.
Speak Up: While the therapist may be an expert on how to build vocabulary and improve speech patterns, parents are experts on their child. Thus, it is important to communicate openly with the therapist. Answering therapist questions honestly can help him or her assess where the problem lies and in turn address it. Similarly, if you have questions, do not be afraid to speak to your therapist about them. Share the child s progress and changes that you have noted so that the therapist can adjust the lessons accordingly. 

Tips To Make The Speech Therapy More Effective!

Don't wait any longer, manage your Relationship Counsellor online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Relationship Counsellor - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES