Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

Anger is one of the most common negative emotions, in that when a person is upset or frustrated over somebody or something, it manifests as anger. Though we may not notice on a routine basis, there are various forms of anger and it has a lot of negative effect on the overall physical and emotional health. Some people also are more prone to feel angry and manifest it openly, who is known as  short-tempered.  Read on to know more about anger and how to manage anger effectively.

In today s world though, you cannot throw a fit of rage and say it is because of your short-tempered nature. There are extreme instances of violence triggered by anger, so it is necessary to learn to conquer your anger. 

DIFFERENT PEOPLE RESPOND TO ANGER IN DIFFERENT WAYS, COMMONLY AS:

Verbal anger: The person who is angry, abuses the other person or sometimes throws rage at a totally different person to vent out the anger. 
Passive anger: Though these people are less expressive when angry, they show their anger through sarcasm directed at the person who induced anger. 
Self-inflicted Anger: These people inflict anger on themselves through self-harm acts like minor cuts, bruises, beating oneself, digging nails into their flesh or burns to release their anger.
SYMPTOMS OF ANGER AND AGGRESSION 
We may respond to anger in physical and psychological ways such as those listed below:

Anger   physical responses: increased heart rate and blood pressure, sweating, muscle tension, clenched jaw 
Anger   psychological responses: feelings of frustration, feelings of rejection, feelings of mistreatment, hostility towards some people 
Aggression: shouting at people (e.g. family, colleagues, strangers, physical violence (e.g. hitting, punching people or slamming doors), ignoring or socially excluding others (passive aggression)
WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE SHORT-TEMPERED
Some people really are more impetuous than others. They get aggressive more easily and more intensely as compared to others. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. People who are easily angered don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they get off socially, sulk, drink/smoke or get physically ill.

Easily angered people generally have what we call as "A low tolerance for frustration, aggravations and hassles of daily living" and sometimes overreact to the many common problems of daily living. They feel that they should not be subjected to frustration, annoyance, or inconvenience. They can't take things in stride, and are particularly infuriated if the situation in some way seems illogical: for example, such people might be miffed on being corrected for even a minor blunder. 

HOW ANGER AFFECTS OUR LIVES

Physical effects of anger: Anger triggers the body s  fight or flight  response. Other emotions that trigger this response include anxiety, fear and excitement. The adrenal glands flood the body with stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. The brain shunts blood away from the gut and towards the muscles, in preparation for physical exertion. Heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increase, the body temperature rises and the skin perspires. The mind is sharpened and focused.

Health problems with anger: The constant flood of stress chemicals and associated metabolic changes that go with recurrent unmanaged anger can eventually cause harm to many different systems of the body. Some of the short and long-term health problems that have been linked to unmanaged anger include: 

Headache 
Insomnia 
Digestion problems, such as abdominal pain 
Increased anxiety 
High blood pressure 
Depression 
Heart attack 
Stroke 
Skin problems, such as eczema
IMPACT OF ANGER ON OUR RELATIONS

Anger at home: Anger is a normal emotion but not being able to control your anger at home can damage your personal relationships. When you get angry, it stresses your partner out and breaks the trust in your relationship. When it comes to children, shouting at them can confuse them and make them afraid of you. In the long run, this can affect their social skills.
Anger at the workplace: Getting angry at your workplace can reduce your productivity and harm your relationships with your colleagues. The angrier you get in the office, the more your colleagues and clients will avoid you. Thus, you may risk missing out on crucial teamwork projects that can affect your career growth. A reputation for anger can also make you a target for revenge and lawsuits.
Anger in society: Nobody wants to interact with a person who has a reputation for getting easily offended and angered. Thus the angrier you get, the more your friends will keep away from you. This can be quite frustrating and can make you an even angrier person. Uncontrolled anger can also lead to physical outbursts that can put you in trouble with the law.
Anger is a strong and powerful emotion. If it isn t handled appropriately, it may have destructive results for you and those closest to you. Uncontrolled anger can lead to arguments, physical abuse, physical fights, self-harm and assault. On the other hand, well-managed anger can be a useful emotion that motivates you to make positive changes

ANGER MANAGEMENT - SUGGESTIONS FOR LONG-TERM ANGER MANAGMENT 
The way you typically express anger may take some time to modify. Suggestions include:

Keep a diary of your anger outbursts, to try and understand how and why you get mad. 
Learn relaxation techniques, such as meditation or yoga. 
Consider assertiveness training, or learning about techniques of conflict resolution. 
See a counsellor or psychologist if you still feel angry about events that occurred in your past. 
Exercise regularly.
BENEFITS OF REGULAR EXERCISE IN MOOD MANAGEMENT
People who are stressed are more likely to experience anger. Studies have documented that regular exercise can reduce stress levels and improve one's mood. This may be because physical exertion burns up stress chemicals, and it also boosts production of mood-regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, including endorphins and catecholamines.

TEACHING CHILDREN HOW TO EXPRESS ANGER
Expressing anger appropriately is a learned behaviour. Suggestions on helping your child to deal with strong feelings include:

Lead by example. 
Treat your child s feelings with respect. 
Let them know that anger is natural and should be expressed appropriately. 
Teach practical problem-solving skills. 
Encourage open and honest communication in the home. 
Explain the difference between aggression and anger. 
Teach your child different ways of calming and soothing themselves. 
Punish aggression or violence, but not appropriately expressed anger.

Kill The Anger Before It Kills You!

Stuttering is a type of speech disorder wherein, a person speaks slower than normal. It is quite  common in the age group of 3 to 8. The relationship between stress and stuttering has been pondered over for decades now. A lot of people seem to believe that stress and stuttering are co-related. On the contrary, recent studies show that stress is more of a consequence rather than a cause of stuttering. If you take the first theory into consideration, then according to that, children would be the greatest victims of anxiety and stress. But it is seen that the level of stress increases proportionately with the increase in age.

Social anxiety in teenagers increases due to stuttering, when they come across individuals who can speak in a normal pace. This in turn can crush their self confidence and lead them to isolate themselves from social groups and people in general. Hence, it is important to deal with stuttering in the early ages or as and when it occurs. 

Sometimes stuttering can develop due to physical or mental trauma.  Most people with stuttering do not seek therapy for it because they might not think of it to be too severe. Little do they realise that a simple process of speech therapy can help them overcome this disability and rejuvenate their level of self-confidence.

It has also come to light, that people with relapse in stuttering post therapy has shown a three-fold increase in anxiety levels than normal. Hence we cannot ignore the strong relationship between stress and stuttering. So from the above evidence, it is safe to conclude that social anxiety or stress develops as a result of chronic stuttering.

How to deal with stress related to stuttering?

Seeking help is a great start to tackle your disability. If your stuttering is prominent enough to warrant therapy, you must seek professional help for the same. You must also learn to control your anxiety by dismissing any anxious thought or make sincere efforts in controlling physical anxiety.

You can also try to increase your social skills by participating in events, such as public speaking that can reduce your stress levels and make yourself more confident about yourself. One must also remember that a person is defined by what he does rather than what he says. So never let a minor disability come in the way of your self worth!

Stress and Stuttering - How to Deal with It?

PTSD or post traumatic stress disorder is a confusion that develops in a few people who have encountered a shocking, unnerving, or dangerous event. It is natural to be scared during and after a traumatic event. Fear triggers numerous brief and instant changes in the body to protect us from the threat or to stay away from it. Here are a few myths and facts about PTSD:

Myth 1: Everyone who has been through a life threatening event will develop PTSD.
Fact: In reality, a great many people who are exposed to such events will not get PTSD in most of the cases, and a lot of them see a decrease in the symptoms gradually over the months or even days. The number of individuals who may be diagnosed after an event that can result in PTSD ranges from under ten percent of people after twelve months of exposure to general trauma. Where as, thirty seven percent of the individuals are exposed to deliberate trauma.

Myth 2: People who are weak, get PTSD.
Fact: It is not clear why a few people get PTSD and others do not. Women are twice as prone to be determined to have it than men are, however, women will probably have numerous mental issues since they will probably look for help, and accordingly get an analysis. Individuals who are presented to interpersonal injury, for example, rape or fighting, will probably have more pronounced PTSD symptoms than survivors of mishaps, accidents or natural disasters.

Myth 3: After a specific measure of time, one should be over the trauma.
Fact: Depending on the nature of the trauma, it might stick around. Furthermore, in some cases, a person may seem to get over it. However, something triggers the recollections and they get tormented by symptoms again. Additionally, as individuals age, the movement that keeps the long-term memory far away from the brain, starts to diminish, exposing the person with seasoned recollections.

Myth 4: The trauma was such a long time ago that it is past the point where it is possible to recover from the trauma.
Fact: The good news is that it is never past the point where it is possible to address your shock or trauma. In fact, most of the patients are middle-aged child sexual abuse survivors. There is a great deal of reasons that somebody would hold back from getting treatment, yet the decades isolating them from their trauma are not an obstruction by any means.

Myth 5: I should have the capacity to handle this myself.
Fact: Frequently it takes more strength to get help than to battle alone, especially for specific events. Cases of individuals who might be particularly hesitant to connect include men who have been conditioned by the society to not express sentiments or show helpless. Marginalised people have a more troublesome time looking for somebody who can relate to them. 

Myths and Facts About PTSD!

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can occur after one has been in an accident or has faced an event that has left a scar in their memory. The accidental trauma overpowers you with sentiments of misery and weakness, which in turn can trigger PTSD. Here are a few ways in which you can get over the trauma.

Tip 1: Get moving

Exercise can help your nervous system relax and be unstuck on the trauma by discharging endorphins.
Rhythmic exercises that use both your arms and legs, instead of concentrating on your trauma, can help you divert your mind. Eg. walking, running, swimming etc.
Exercises like mountain climbing, boxing, weight lifting, or combative training can make it simpler to concentrate on your body developments and make you stronger.
Plan to exercise for 30 minutes every day or if it is less demanding, three sets of 10-minute workouts are also good.
Tip 2: Self manage your nervous system

Discovering that you can change your arousal framework and quiet yourself down can specifically question the feeling of vulnerability, which is a typical symptom of PTSD.
Careful breathing is a fast approach to calm yourself down. Take 60 breaths, centering your concentration.
Similar to how particular sights, actions or smells can transport you back to the traumatic event, so can sensory information rapidly calm you down. The key is to locate the sensory information that works for you.
Reconnecting to uncomfortable feelings and emotions without getting to be overpowered by them can have a positive effect on your brain to adjust your state of mind.
Tip 3: Connect with others
Once the reflex has been activated, face-to-face association with people who make you feel protected and safe is the fastest and the best method for bringing your nervous system into its right place. The kind backing of others can be important to your recovery. Search for someone you can converse with for a long period of time, somebody who will hear you out without judging you or constantly being occupied. That individual might be your better half, a relative, a companion, or an expert advisor.

Tip 4: Make healthy life changes

The side effects of PTSD can be difficult for your body. So it is important to deal with yourself and build up a healthy lifestyle.
Take out some time to relax. For example, meditation, deep breathing, back rub, or yoga can initiate the body's relaxation reaction and get rid of the side effects of PTSD.
Stay away from liquor and medications. When you are dealing with troublesome feelings and traumatic memories, you might want to opt for elf-cure with liquor or medications. Eat a healthy diet. Begin your day with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with adjusted nutritious meals for the entire the day.
Get enough rest. Lack of sleep leads to outrage, irritation and grumpiness. Sleep for at least seven to nine hours each day.

Accident Trauma - How To Get Over It?

It is good to meditate as it gives solutions of many problems & stress is released, but sometimes it becomes compulsion with no or less results.  The aim of meditation is achieved with mind management and after this the mind gets the solution to all the stress and unfulfilled desires. The solutions that you get with mind management are permanent & not available anywhere else.

And, once it is done the mind is left with no reason for the production of stress again in future at all and it stops permanently in case of that perticular topic and for all aspects of life.

Benefits of Mind Managemnt

It is a scenario where once the mind gets all the solutions it is in meditaion, in syn with work, and thinks about useful thoughts. 
It is an acquired practice and with time our mind can be trained. Once you start practicing it and master it is then a permanent solution for all your worries. The mind management is a simple, easy  and is very less time consuming thing. 
It can help you find explanations and implementations that are not available anywhere.
Mind management is a perfect way to guide on the path of love, respect. progress and most importantly happiness
It can cure problems such as diagnosed, undiagnosed, autoimmune diseases and other number of problems with efficient and powerful techniques


Mind Management - A Perfect Way To Resolve Your Problems!

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