For human beings, the body is considered the temple, one that they strive to keep fit and in shape. In fact, the plethora of ailments, which people complain of suffering from, almost always deal with their physical health. In this over engagement to restore the physical health, the well being of the mental health is never considered. However truth remains that the health of the mind is equally if not more important and must be given its share of priority. With the growing age and times, depression has emerged as a gnawing problem, one that is plaguing individuals indiscriminately and one that must be eradicated as soon as possible. 
Some of the ways to combat this fatal ailment are: 

1. Exercises 
Everyday a bit of exercise not only keeps the body fit and healthy, but also goes a long way in easing and calming the mind. You need not indulge in strenuous exercises, but must make it a conscientious habit to work out a bit daily.

2. Talk to people
Though depression makes one inexorably quiet and silent, the first thing that is prescribed as a remedial measure is talk to people. Engaging in conversations with people, telling them what exactly is troubling you are proven ways to combat depression.

3. Meditate 
There is no better way to treat mental ailment than meditating.  When you suffer from depression, your body undergoes severe conflict. Meditating not only calms the mind, but also soothes away the worries.

4. Develop a support system
Depression is almost always followed by an unfathomable sense of loneliness. Talking to others does help, but at the same time try to develop a support system. Find an individual, be it parents, relatives or friends and confide in him or her. Not sharing what you are going through is never a solution and only exacerbates the fatality of the situation.

5. Change the daily routine
Monotony is never exciting and it is only time, before the humdrum of life gets to you. Changing the daily routine and incorporating something new and exciting go a long way in recuperating you from the mental dullness and fatigue.

Tips to Combat Depression

Most people will give you a blatant No. And they are quite right to do so. But if you have been a habitual offender who can't unwind without their drink, pregnancy is going to be a big problem. So does the rule stand in all cases? What if you drank when you didn't know you were pregnant yet? What if you had a light drink here and there, will it literally spell disaster? Let's find out.

Contradictory advice everywhere: Most doctors will advice you to stay away completely from alcohol as soon as that first positive emerges in your test. Others may give you a little leeway and let you have an occasional drink. There are friends who'll confess to have cheated during their pregnancy and snuck in a beer or two and say that their kids turned out just fine. There are other friends will scorn on you for even thinking such a thing. Same goes for your relatives. Like all things in pregnancy, random advice will just not work.

How much can you drink? Let's assume that you are confident nothing will happen and want to be adventurous and give it a cautious try. Danish researchers have some good news for you. Some studies have shown that low to moderate consumption of alcohol does not harm the baby. In fact, in 2012, Danish researchers released a highly publicized study that found no major problems in children below 5 years whose mothers had consumed 1- 8 alcoholic drinks a week during pregnancy.

Unfortunately, not all research is made equal. With pregnancy, each mother, each child and progression of each pregnancy is different. It really has to be on a case by case basis and nothing can be taken on face value. Most people will still advise you to completely go off alcohol as there is 'no safe' amount during pregnancy. Some women have a larger quantity of the enzyme that breaks down alcohol. If a woman with lower levels of this enzyme drinks alcohol, it is more likely to harm her unborn child as the alcohol will remain in her bloodstream longer.

How alcohol can affect your child?

A number of disorders that can affect your child when in the womb and even after because of alcohol consumption. These disorders are collectively called 'Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder'. It is characterized by increased risk in miscarriage and stillbirth. It can also result in the baby having low birth weight and increase problems with learning, speech, attention span, language and hyperactivity. Alcohol consumption may also affect girl child and a baby boy differently. While both may turn out to have aggressive and delinquent behaviour, girls are more likely to develop mental health problems too.

If you are unable to give up on alcohol, you need to immediately get professional help to overcome your addiction. Also note that the term 'non-alcoholic' beverage is misleading as they can contain trace amounts of it. Consult a doctor today on which drinks are safe for you.

Alcohol in Pregnancy: Is it Safe?


A new relationship involves a lot of weighing from both the sides. Learn what really matters to win people over in this post. When you want to build a new relationship, whether it is for work, business, personal, marriage, friendship etc there are several factors that help take off and bloom the relationship. These factors are broadly the same in different age groups as far as psychological impact matters. Some of the most important influential factors from a psychological point of view have been highlighted here. 

1. Presentation- When you want to draw someone into relationship with you for any reason, it is important that you present yourself at you best levels be it physical or mental. Like they say that the first impression is the best impression, your display of you strengths creates an impression that helps people decide what they want to do with you. This doesn't mean you should hide all your weaknesses but highlighting your strengths is as important as making your weaknesses clear. Always learn to put your best foot forward as sometimes that itself may not be enough. You can't really send your neighbour for your job interview!! There are many instances when people send different photographs in their applications and different ones appear for the exams. This is mere cheating and not winning.

2. Plan – Let people know what you want to do with them and what they can they can do with you. No one can say they don’t have a plan. There is always some plan. Knowing it strengthens why you want to have that relationship in the first place. Otherwise it's like something which is there but you can never want to do anything with! When you are honest with your plans and they workout as you described it, it creates confidence in relationship or else it is destroyed forever. You can cheat a person with your plans once, not forever.

3. Possibilities- Will this relationship bring me trouble? Obviously nobody wants to get into a relationship with anybody that brings them trouble be it physical or mental. Next question is whether it will benefit me? Small or big depends on person's needs. Some relationships neither bring us trouble nor benefits us, such relationships are better than the ones which can cause harm.

4. Potential – Question. Does this relationship you are trying to develop have any possibilities of growth a few or many years down the line. Obviously we have a lot of friends who wither by passing of time. Does this relationship have an expiry date irrespective of how well or bad it goes? Like when we join college we know for sure that the friends will be with us till the duration of the course and that's it. We will know that if we study together it will help us achieve great grades in college and hence a great life later. These kind of growth possibilities or possibilities of deterioration are important to be well aware of and will naturally decide the course of relationships.

5. Progress – No matter what our initial assessments are, how the relationships helps us fare in the outside world will ultimately decide the future of any relationship. Loss, sorrow, tragedy, degradation in any aspect of life, insults, injury, loss of health etc will never help any relationship continue or last.

6. Partnerships – When we want to build a relationship with someone, the best way to do it is to obviously partner with that person in as many activities as possible. The more interested a person is the more activities that person will involve you in and try to do it with you. This type of partnership activities, be it spending a few hours in the evening, or a few minutes on phone, or an association of months or years are a foolproof way to show you are interested. Conversely a person who doesn't partner with you in anything is extremely unlikely to ever have any sort of relationship with you. Partnership in activities is the only way to show and know that you are interested or the other person is interested respectively. After all chasing the moon, stars and rainbow are activities of people who don’t realize its out of their reach. Sensible people are busy with what their eyes see, hands feel, ears listen, tongue tastes and thinking perceives as appropriate.

7. Positioning attitudes- As a tree bends with the winds to prevent from cracking, we all have to be flexible with our attitudes towards each other. Being too rigid about our protocol on how relationships should run irrespective of the reality and circumstances of the person we are having a relationship with is naturally going to break relationships. After all a doctor who heals and prevents all illnesses is better than a doctor who abuses his patients for falling ill but never does anything for them. Eg: You get bed and good food in a hotel as well as at your home. A hotel will provide food only on payment of money, but family will provide it whenever your hungry. Hence hotels can never expect the same emotions as family can, and this is as natural as it should be. Hence be careful what you want from a relationship. Whether you want to be treated as a hotel or family is entirely how you play yourself with others. After all only families can expect loyalty not hotels.

8. Politeness- In any relationship, many years down the line, what our long term memory retains is how comfortable we were in that relationship. Even if we profit from a particular relationship, the fact that it shook us mentally and emotionally will never allow us to go back or retain that relationship. Life is short and the only thing that matters is to spend it comfortably. Not destroy our peace for some benefit that destroys our peace of mind.

9. Personation- While sending a representative of your organization for a client meeting may work in business, you cant really send a representative to meet you wife or kids at home. In personal relationship, lack of your physical presence obviously means that you don’t have time for them. In any relationship, individuality matters a lot. Just imagine, if all actors acted exactly the same in movies, why would you prefer any particular one over the other as your favourite? The nuances and differences in our personalities are what makes us all unique. We are not robots from a particular brand to behave exactly the same way. If a person in a relationship doesn't sense your individuality you are wasting their time by trying to have a relationship with them, especially a personal one.

10. Positive reinforcement- When we get into a relationship, it is important that we feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. If you feel like a shoplifter entering a shop, you will not feel good about that relationship. When a shopkeeper welcomes us, shows us his products, tells us their details and provides all the explanations on how we will be well off with the product, provides his guarantee for it, confirms its essence, many people buy it even if they don’t compulsively need it. It’s the same in relationships. On the same side if a shopkeeper is arrogant, avoidant, abusive, insulting etc you are very unlikely to buy anything in that shop because you are not sure that the shopkeeper means any good and will be happy with the shopkeeper s product. The experience of buying is as important as the product we buy. Nobody is happy about something they got when they weren't treated the right way or is interested in retaining it when they don’t get good service for it.

11. Persistence on all Ps – Obviously when we want relationships to last, we need to be persistent on all the above P's. Otherwise it wont take long for a relationship to be counted in “once upon a time”!! A simple conversation even if for a few minutes every now and then when you need it may make it seem that you are still there for a person. Without even that people may even find it hard to remember that they even had something to do with you sometime before keeping in mind the the numerous activities we involve daily to maintain our lifestyles.

“KNOWING IS DOING AND NOT KNOWING IS UNDOING EVEN IF DOING!”

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How To Win Over New Relationships

You might be feeling that spending time on any social media network is a simple way to pass time and is a common habit. But a recent study by University of Chicago Booth School of Business says that social networking sites can be more addictive, than alcohol. The desire to consume alcohol can be controlled and turned down, but the desire to check Facebook is simply uncontrollable for most people, and it s a serious addiction.

About the study
The ground breaking study was done on 250 people in and around Germany aged between 18 and 85 years of age. They were sent messages at specific intervals to report their desires and cravings. It is found that most people had the desire to sleep and have sex during the day that they were able to control. But the desire for checking Facebook was much higher.

Reasons for Facebook addiction

One of the major reasons is that availability of Facebook is much easier and higher than alcohol availability.
Also, it is thought that the cost of checking Facebook is much less than consuming some amount of alcohol on a regular basis.
Even if a man wants to resist his desire, but due to easy availability and lesser cost, he is prone to use it again and again.
Alcohol consumption is prohibited in public and during office hours in many countries. But checking Facebook updates have no restrictions. People can check it whenever they feel the desire.
The most shocking part is the urges drove the people to such an extent, that they couldn t even resist themselves even if they wanted to do so.
Effects of Facebook addiction

Drainage of time: No matter how good we feel while checking Facebook updates, can you deny that it s simply a waste of time?
Self esteem reduced: When you see your peers enjoying their life with flying colors, no wonder you will feel depressed. But we are reluctant to believe this fact, that nobody shows his tragic part of life on Facebook. So, whom you think is the happiest person in the world, may be the saddest and is drowned in his own miseries.
Remedy of this so called addiction
The study says that when we are much worn out, we are unable to control our desire and our will power is depleted.

So, if you find yourself posting your status on Facebook at the midnight instead of sleeping, then it is high time you should try to come out of this addiction and give yourself a better life and health.

Facebook Vs Alcohol - Which Is More Addictive?

Schizophrenia is a mental disorder which is characterized by disturbed mental thoughts in the patient, paranoia, phobias, hallucination, slow dementia and etc. As it is clear from this brief definition, Schizophrenia is a serious mental illness which can leave a patient stranded from performing basic day-to-day activities or even keeping healthy relationships with their close ones. 

Even though there is no particular age where people are vulnerable from suffering from this disease, yet from a common observation and study conducted on the patients, it has been observed that schizophrenia hit men in their early 20 s and early 30 s in case of women. The study also feels that it is impossible for a schizophrenic to be of age younger than 12 or older than 40. According to another study conducted by the universities, the life of a schizophrenic patient is not guaranteed. 

Symptoms of Schizophrenia:

As mentioned above, there is a common pattern in each schizophrenic patient, however, it is next to impossible to diagnose schizophrenia in teenagers since the onset of the disease is symbolized by the patient's constant change of friends or decrease of performance in school, both of which is normal in teen years. Schizophrenics also isolate themselves and become moody which again, is a common instinct of the teenager. However, apart from these, there are other differentiating symptoms as mentioned below which help in the accurate diagnosis of the disease. 

Hallucinating
Delusional
Emotionally dull and disconnected with their loved ones
Negative social life and academic performance
Dementia
Disability of remembering easy-to-learn and remember things
Causes of Schizophrnia

According to the researchers, there are more than one reasons for this disease. Read them all below:

Genetic mutation and inheritance- genetics play an important role in this disease. It needs more than one mutational combination of schizophrenia to happen and that is why it is observed in less than 1% of the population only. Those who have had a family history of schizophrenia are very hard to inherit the disease because patients hardly ever reach the stage of life called marriage. But a family history of psychosis is sure a determining factor. 
Neurotic reason- this reason includes the brain chemistry and important brain chemical such as- dopamine and glutamate.
Drug abuse- it has been revealed that consuming hallucinating and mind-altering drugs during teenage years are greatly responsible for the increase in the number of schizophrenia cases in early 20 s.
Treatment

As it was mentioned above, there is absolutely no way to cure schizophrenia known to man as of yet. However, the only way to approach it medically is by managing its symptoms separately. Such as:

Antipsychotic medication
Psychotherapies Self-help groups
Nursing care

Schizophrenia - What Causes It?

HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

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