For years I have been practicing as a psychotherapist in different parts of the world and what I have noticed is that no matter what kind of relationship or marriage a couple are in, when they end up in my office it's always for the same reason: they want to be happier, healthier and more-connected even though the issues can vary - money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc.

Despite this each relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

If you are struggling in your relationship (and if you are reading this article there is a big chance you are unless you are one of my friends..or both) you might find it helpful to follow some of these ideas:

1. Love yourself

You must love yourself before you can love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortcomings.

2. Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise... just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things repeatedly.

3. Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without any regard for others. It is what makes compromise in a relationship possible. If I realize that something I've done has hurt you (because I can empathize with your pain or unhappiness) I will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected.). And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way.

Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship. In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Given this definition, the act of loving someone and allowing them to love you may be the ultimate risk. Love is uncertain. It's risky because there are no guarantees and your partner could stop loving you. Exposing your true feelings may mean that you are at a greater risk for being hurt or criticized.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love.

Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Dr Perel, in her popular TED talk explains that neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships - which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability - damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

If after trying the above you are still struggling with your relationship, make sure you go and see a couple therapist.

Two couples talking in one couple's living room...

One says to the other, 'The work being done on your marriage.. are you having it done or are you doing it yourselves?'



8 Tips To Rev Up Your Relationship With Your Partner

Little or limited caffeine amount can definitely boost energy levels, but an excessive amount might lead to addiction, which is really quite a serious issue. This addiction cannot be kicked away with medications and rather you have to follow the natural ways. Practicing yoga asanas is one of the most improved solutions that can help you to get rid of acute or severe caffeine addiction and that too in a natural way without inviting any unhealthy side effects.

5 leading asanas that can help avoid caffeine addiction:

Mayurasana: This asana is mainly well known as the Peacock pose. The pose is very much useful for maintaining digestive and circulatory functions. The hands should be clasped backside and you should bend your head towards your feet. Standing straight is needed and you have to take deep breaths at the time of holding back the concerned posture.
Chakrasana: This is nothing, but a wheel pose which helps in system detoxification and toxin release. Your thyroid and pituitary glands will get naturally stimulated as a result of this pose. Extending arms overhead by keeping feet together you can perform this pose. You should bend backwards with your face down towards the floor, and you have to use your palms for support.
Sarvangasana: This pose needs to be done by keeping your shoulders in support. Without using yoga mats, this pose cannot be performed comfortably. Parathyroid and thyroid glands are stimulated along with the normalization of different body functions. Relief from constipation and indigestion can be gained from this pose. Keeping your shoulders in support, the legs should be extended upwards at 90-degree angle. The shoulders should take your full body weight at the time of doing this asana.
Halasana: This plough pose can help in reducing lethargy, fatigue and stress. Your nervous system can be calmed down, and you will feel completely relaxed. Energy channels of your body can be easily opened up by practicing this asana regularly. In this case, legs should be bended at your hips so that the legs can be flat over the ground. You should keep your hands beside your body.
Nadi-sodhan Pranayama: if you have got accumulated stress, then nothing can be a better option other than doing this asana. Both body and mind get completely relaxed as a result of practicing this pose. In this case, breathing patterns or techniques can be corrected along with the balancing of the nadis. You have to get a proper guidance in order to perform it in a correct manner.

Are You a Caffeine Addict? These 5 Yoga Asanas Will Help You Kick the Habit

Trouble with speech arises from a number of issues in the brain or the nerves that are responsible for the control of the larynx, vocal cords and facial muscles. Muscular disorders end up affecting the teeth, mouth and jaws which in turn will invariably impair speech. Sometimes many of the health conditions are present since childbirth whereas others might occur because of infections, injury, tumors and metabolic diseases.
There are different kinds of speech disorders; they are -

Aphasia is the inability to comprehend language in any form (written, spoken) and generally takes place because of disturbances in the brain.
Dysarthria is the condition that makes articulation difficult for patients suffering from it. Symptoms associated with dysarthia are difficulty swallowing and slurred speech.
Spasmodic dysphonia makes speaking a difficult job because of recurrent muscle spasms. These muscles affected in this disorder control the vocal chords, and therefore your speaking ability.
As most of the cases of speech disorders start to show early on in childhood, how can you tell if your child needs speech therapy?
Here are five signs that you should keep an eye out for:

There is a distinctive lack in social mixing or interactions. Children who are not able to comprehend and effectively respond to what you say need to be evaluated.
By the time the baby is twelve months old, she or he would be able to create words. By the time they turn eighteen months old they are able to connect words. If the ability to create such words or make gestures or sounds are absent or are markedly reduced in your child then you need the help of a speech therapist.
Parents are capable of understanding what their child says by the time they turn one and a half to two years old. If this is not the case then you will have to seek the help of a therapist.
If your baby is nearly three years old and is still incapable of uttering simple words such as  Daddy sleep ,  mommy hungry  then you might need external help.
If your precious baby is significantly facing trouble with consonants such as  ma   ba ,  pa  at the age of two or is incapable of making sounds such as  k  or  g  then your child most likely has a speech disorder. You should get him evaluated at the earliest.

5 Telltale Signs That Your Child Needs Speech Therapy!!

Post-traumatic stress disorder is a serious mental health condition that can affect every aspect of a person s life. With proper management, therapy and support, this disorder can be successfully treated. 

PTSD Causes 
Researchers usually believe that post-traumatic stress disorder is not caused by any one single factor. Rather, a variety of predispositions and risk factors, work together that leads to the development of PTSD following a traumatic event. The most commonly cited causes are:

Genetic Factors: Anxiety disorders are hereditary and PTSD also tends to run in families. People having first-degree relatives struggling with any anxiety disorder are at a higher risk of developing the disorder themselves. While it is not a definitive cause for PTSD, exposure to a traumatic event does make a person more vulnerable to developing the disorder.
Environmental Causes: Those having a history of trauma or stress are more susceptible to PTSD than those who do not have a similar history. Children growing up in families marred by addiction problems are more predisposed to such a condition.
Brain Structures: Certain areas of the brain that are believed to regulate fear and emotions are varied in people diagnosed with this condition as compared to them who have not developed PTSD after a traumatic event.
Psychological Factors: People struggling with certain types of mental disorders, notably depression and anxiety are at a greater risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorder.

PTSD is caused due to exposure to a traumatic incident or frightening event such as sexual assault, natural disaster, war, accidents or the threat of death/death or any grave illness to one s self or a dear one. Post-traumatic stress disorder is a lifelong consequence of any such extreme traumatic event that affects a person s ability to deal with such an incident.

Most of the times, people having been exposed to trauma develop feelings of shock, fear, anger, anxiety and guilt.
These reactions are completely normal in regard to an unnatural event and eventually fade over time. A person diagnosed with PTSD develops unusual strong feelings post such an event that they hinder the person from leading a meaningful (normal) life. Sadly, the symptoms of PTSD don t fade with time and these feelings amplify till the person is so overwhelmed that they are unable to function.
This disorder can occur at any age. It has even been observed during the first year of an individual s life. Symptoms generally begin to appear by the first three months following the traumatic incident but it can also start showing up months or years later.
Certain individuals who have been exposed to a disturbing experience might develop symptoms of PTSD directly after experiencing such an event. This is known as acute stress disorder. People having acute stress disorder experience a varying amalgamation and duration of the symptoms, but most of them usually recover within three months of the causative event.
Some people with an acute stress disorder experience prolonged periods of symptoms that may be triggered by memories of the traumatic incident.


Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - 4 Things That Can Lead To It!

Drug abuse is characterized by the excessive use of illegal drugs, prescription drugs or even over-the-counter drugs. Drug abuse eventually leads to drug dependency whereby the drug begins to take control over you and affects your daily activities as well as your physical health.

Treatment

Treatment of drug abuse normally involves a series of steps to be undertaken. These are:

1. Group therapy
2. Counseling
3. Drug addiction

Furthermore, treatment of drug abuse generally follows a 12-step program which continues even after the treatment as a part of the recovery process.

Detoxification

Detoxification, or simply detox, is a procedure involving medical care while attempting to deal with withdrawal symptoms after your initial break from drug use. Since dealing with withdrawal symptoms can be quite problematic, you will certainly have to consult a doctor who will probably prescribe you certain medications.

Therapy
There are different types of therapy needed to overcome the problem of drug abuse. These include:

1. Group therapy, where you can interact your problems with other people who are going through the same ordeal.

2. Motivational interviewing (mi), where you can resolve mixed feelings with regard to quitting and treatment.

3. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), where you can learn to take control over your actions as well as change your thought and behavior pattern in order to adjust to a drug-free life.

4. Motivational enhancement therapy (met), where motivational interviewing is used to help give you more motivation with respect to quitting drug consumption.

5. Family counseling, or even couples therapy, where you can learn how to stay drug-free as well as improve your relationship with your family members or with your partner.

Treatment programs

Treatment programs are often similar to therapies and are classified into three types:

1. Inpatient treatment
2. Outpatient treatment
3. Residential treatment.

How to Treat Drug Abuse

Brain is just like other muscles in the body; stimulation of the brain cells on a continuous basis will lead to a well-functioning brain. In fact, exercising your brain through various brain exercises helps in forming new neural pathways inside it. Neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to change and adapt when it is stimulated.

The various methods you can adopt to improve your mental health are -

Learn a musical instrument:
Start taking music classes to learn an instrument such as guitar or piano as it helps in improving mental health. It also helps in delaying age related problems such as alzheimer's disease.

Do math exercises in your head:
Try figuring out various mathematical sums inside your head, as this will keep your brain sharp. It has also been known to improve intelligence quotient.

Try to recall past events:
When you try to recall past events, the section of the brain dealing with memory is stimulated and thus, leads to stronger neural connections.

Learning a new language:
Learning a new language is good for the brain as well because it helps in delaying the process of decline of cognitive functions. Chances of being affected by mental health disorders decrease significantly.

Aerobic exercises:
You should follow a regular exercise regimen consisting of aerobic exercises and cardiovascular exercises as they help in improving your blood circulation. Apart from keeping you fitter and lean, it also improves your overall wellbeing.

Improve your hand-eye coordination:
Do activities such as painting, knitting or solving puzzles as they help in improving your hand eye coordination. It fine tunes your motor skills and keeps you mentally sharp.

Cooking:
Learning to cook helps in activating various parts of the brain such as sight, smell and taste. This is related to different parts of the brain resulting in an overall development.


Brain Exercises - Why You Should Do Them

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