Borderline personality disorder (bpd) is a mental illness. A patient suffering from bpd maintains unstable relationships with other people, shows inappropriate emotional reactions and possesses suicidal or self-harm tendencies. It is purely a personality disorder caused due to multiple factors. Patients suffering from bpd may find it difficult to stay alone. They fear abandonment and loneliness. Yet they have a tendency of showing mood swings, sudden emotional outburst or anger and hostility. This prevents them from having a long lasting relationship in life.

It usually starts affecting the patient's life from early adulthood. It however seems to improve with age. The patient also has distorted self-image. He or she is unclear about what they want from life or what they are in reality. Even minor incidents can trigger intense reactions in people with bpd.

Symptoms of borderline personality disorder.

The signs of suffering from bpd are listed below:

Intense and frantic effort to avoid abandonment or loneliness
Unstable relationships with people and changing the attitude towards them drastically. It can change from being in immense love with each other to intense hatred.
Developing paranoid thoughts and having dissociative feelings-the patient often lacks the feeling of self and suffers from identity crisis.
Suicidal feelings and attempts
Tendency to cause self harm or destruction by drug abuse, driving irresponsibly or be having unprotected sex
Reflecting intense depression
Chronic boredom
Sudden anger and hostility
Causes for borderline personality disorder.

Borderline personality disorder can be caused due to multiple reasons. Usually it has been found by researchers that it occurs to patients who have had a disturbed childhood. Complex and unpleasant happenings in the childhood may leave a deep impact on the patient's personality, which comes back as a disorder in his or her early adulthood. From mental, physical to sexual abuse in the childhood can lead to this condition in adults.

Besides, researchers have discovered recently that this illness has hereditary links. Some genes may be responsible for bpd. Improper functioning of the brain is also another factor. Especially, the portion of brain that controls emotions might not be functioning properly in co-ordination with other parts of it.

Diagnosis.

There is no particular clinical test that can diagnose bpd. It can be diagnosed by a series of interactive session with the patient by a psychiatrist.

Treatment.

The treatment of bpd involves three steps- psychotherapy, medications and support from peer and family. Dialectical behavioral therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and psychodynamic psychotherapy are used in treating the patient. There are no specific medicines to cure identity crisis, boredom and loneliness. However, other symptoms like mood swings, depression and anxiety can be treated with anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. Antipsychotic drugs are also helpful to a certain extent. In extreme cases, hospitalization may be needed.

A Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder

The activity of delaying or putting off something is known as procrastination. Even the best individuals battle with it consistently. However, some people accomplish something that the majority of us do not- they push past it. They do not permit it to influence their work. They develop brilliant and beneficial techniques to break past mental obstructions and remain productive. Here are a few ways with which you can beat procrastination:

Try to start: Starting something can be very difficult. However, in case that you can get over that part, you will have some level of energy. Even your brain will probably goad you to continue dealing with the task. This happens because of a mental phenomenon called the Zeigarnik impact. It says that unfinished tasks will probably stay in your memory. This is exactly why planned things and to-do lists consistently appear in your mind until you finish them.
Separate huge tasks into smaller assignments: Enormous tasks can frighten you, so you put them off. By taking that huge task and separating it into smaller assignments, you can decrease your burden make a start. This could include concentrating on one part of the research to begin with.
Ask yourself  why? : It is easier to inspire yourself to accomplish something you value. In case you are attempting to complete something, why not spend a couple of minutes asking yourself precisely why you need to do it and why it is so important to you. Weighing out the positives and negatives of the task and its benefits for you, can make you decide and perform better.
Attempt to take a break: For those who procrastinate out of having worked too much, it does not mean you have to complete the task at once. This is known as the "sunk cost bias." The "sunk cost bias" influences players, speculators, and even a procrastinator. They feel that the task will need to be completed now and cannot be completed in the future. In some cases, a task simply does not mean you have to work on it more and more after hours.
Go easy on yourself: To beat procrastination, you should be strict with yourself. However, that is not what science says. In case that you have procrastinated till now, you will probably begin on time going ahead. You need to show yourself some sympathy for your previous laziness instead of thrashing yourself about it.
Self-control is an important quality many successful individuals have. Having self-control permits you to carefully understand why you are procrastinating and can likewise, work towards it. When you understand why you are doing so, it will be easier for you to make a plan to beat it. This will allow you to see the underlying cause of your problem as well.

Procrastination - 5 Ways You Can Beat It!

Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

It's International Women s Day yet again. A time to celebrate women s accomplishments- both those of legendary creators including Mother Teresa, Kiran Bedi, Anuradha Koirala   the anti-sex-trafficking activist & Mary Kom to name a few and the women in our lives who mentor and inspire us every day. It s a day to celebrate our journey towards gender equality and women empowerment.

This year s International Women s Day theme is  Time is Now: Rural and urban activists transforming women's lives.  It comes on the heels of unprecedented global movement for women s rights, equality, and justice. The theme has taken the global campaigns and marches on issues ranging from sexual harassment and femicide to equal pay and women s political representation.

Women still have a long way to go to attain equality and non-discrimination from her male counterparts. 2018 International Women s day is an 'iron in the fire opportunity' to bring a call to action to entrust women with what they actually deserve, not only in a particular sector but to every woman who resides in urban as well as rural areas. It is a step to respect and appreciate the women who step out every day for the livelihood of their families and kids - a step to stop casual sexism faced by urban women in the workplace.

Women, experiencing sexual harassment in the workplace, not only bear strained relationships with their counterparts but also are at risk of numerous health problems. Let us know about the health effects of sexual harassment:

Depression: Self-doubt and criticism can lead to depression and loss of interest in work or other activities. Women also experience loss of self-confidence and feelings of failure & powerlessness.
Anxiety: Many women feel anxious about going to work, communicating with co-workers or being involved in social situations.
Insomnia: Sexual harassment trauma can cause nightmares and may lessen the woman's ability to sleep properly.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Studies say that sexual harassment meets the Criteria A1 and A2 of PTSD. The stress of sexual harassment may cause a woman to relive the trauma even when it is not happening, or avoid things or people that remind her of the sexual harassment.
The International Women s Day echoes a word for transforming the lives of women with a bold determination not just on papers but in reality to support the women all around the globe. Many working women have sad tales to tell as they are exploited at a very high level, and they actually lead a stressful life in comparison to their male counterparts.

So, the spotlight this year is to fight against the injustice that most women face every day and to bring about a change that will be remembered for years and will outshine the lives of such women who devote themselves for the livelihood of their families.

Join a campaign, embrace your inner activist and empower the women in your life...

The #TimeisNow To-

Raise your voice
Support each other
Share the workload
Get involved
Educate the next generation
Know your rights

#TimeIsNow - This International Women's Day, Empower The Woman In Your Life! 

Every packet of cigarette comes with the warning 'Smoking is injurious to health'. With every national budget plan, the prices of nicotine based additives are hiked. Yet, you cannot quit smoking because you find it extremely difficult to resist the nicotine urge. Ayurveda says that the root cause of addiction is mental stress due to one of the 3 Doshas that are Vata, Pitta, Kapha. People try to terminate them through temporary, addictive methods rather than a bit more natural, holistic methods. Here's how it can be easier for you to quit smoking by adopting Ayurvedic remedies.

Ayurvedic remedies:
1. Drink adequate amount of water, especially from a copper vessel. This helps to accumulate the wastes and release them.
2. Perform the Neti Kriya (inhaling saline water through one nostril and releasing it through the other and then reversing the procedure).
3. Performing the Bhastrika Pranayama twice every day, both in the morning and at night.
4. Consume 3 tablets or 1  teaspoon of triphala everyday before going to bed, to eliminate the deposited nicotine tar in your system.
5. Consumption of a measured mixture of ashwagandha, bala, shatavari and ginseng every day, or a chyawanprash containing these help in detoxification.

Changes in diet:
1. Avoid consumption of alcohol and other addictive drugs, such as coffee, sugar, etc. because they increase the urge to smoke.
2. Decrease intake of fatty foods because your metabolism rate is lower than at most other times, so you might risk gaining weight during this period.
3. Try a vegetarian diet because it increases the Sattvik quality of your mind. Every fresh food item contains prana or life which rejuvenates both your body and mind.
4. Chew anti-nicotine gums or suck on cinnamon sticks which curb your urge to smoke.
5. Keep eating low-calorie food items like carrots, apples or celery.
6. Incorporating regular exercise in your routine may help you to quit smoking more easily. It controls weight gain, which is a side-effect of quitting, and also offers you a fit and healthy lifestyle.
7. Meditating and doing yoga regularly helps in relaxing your mind. Yogic postures like Sabasan help attain internal peace and divert your mind from craving to smoke.

Besides these techniques, there are various other ways like taking help from a professional ayurvedic counselor, which will help you quit smoking, socializing with friends or spending quality time with your family, will keep your mind diverted from the stress of quitting.

Ayurveda and Smoking - Ayurvedic Medicines to Quit Smoking

Becoming a parent is one of the greatest joys in life. It is a magical feeling to hold your child in your arms for the first time. However, as your child grows up, you will notice certain behavioural changes that can be difficult to control or withstand. Temper tantrums are common in children. A child uses tantrums to vent frustration and anger, which he/she feels toward a person or a situation.

While such temper tantrums may lead you to lose your temper, remember that children do not have the same emotional maturity as that of an adult. Therefore, rather than being strict to your child, here are some ways to deal with temper tantrums.

1. Don t try to calm your child: Temper tantrums are often attention seeking in nature. Therefore, you will make it worse if you try too hard to calm your child while he/she is throwing such a tantrum. Instead, choose to ignore the behaviour and go about doing your job. However, keep an eye out to check that your child does not do anything to harm himself/herself or others during this time. You should also verbally clarify that such behaviour is not acceptable.

2. Speak softly but with resolve: Many parents seem to think that shouting at their kids helps against temper tantrums. It does not. In fact, the more your child shouts, the more softly you should interact with them. When you shout you give your child the opportunity to shout - they do this so that they can be heard. Instead, be stern. Sometimes offering a choice can help your child feel as if he/she is in control of the situation.

3. Empathize with your child: Seeing the world from your toddler s perspective is no easy task. This is why parents often think that a temper tantrum is meaningless. However, in most cases, a child s temper tantrum is rooted in the inability to perform a task or articulate his/her wishes. As a parent, you need to devise alternate forms of communication with your child, so that he/she can express feelings better.

4. Give them some space: Rather than scolding your child for throwing a tantrum, let him/her express their frustration. This is similar to the concept of adults venting undesirable feelings. However, tell your kids to express frustration in a non-destructive way. This approach helps your child become emotionally stronger, as they learn to deal with sadness and anger in their own way, without requiring support from elders.

You need to understand that all children throw temper tantrums at one time or another. How you handle the situation determines how your child will deal with frustration and sorrow in later parts of their life.

Parenting Tips To Tackle Temper Tantrums In Children!

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