No matter which kind of relationship couple are in, they always have some issues and look to be happier, and more connected, though the issues can be different for different couples -  money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc. Despite this, any relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it. Yet, following certain guidelines may help proceed happily in a relationship.

1.Love yourself

You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortfalls.

2.Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise. Just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things.

3.Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without regard for others. It is what makes a compromise in a relationship possible. If you realize that something you've done has hurt another person and you can empathize with his/her pain or unhappiness, you will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected).  And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection.

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way. Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love. Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships -- which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability -- damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

8 Guidelines for a Happy Relationship

When is your pain chronic?

Your pain is chronic if it last for more than a period of six months. Chronic pain is a long-term pain whose nature can vary from mild to excruciating, and it may trouble you either continuously or at short and regular intervals. Chronic pain is so dangerous that it does not only cause discomfort and inconvenience but also robs you entirely of your capacity to work for a long time.

Chronic pain can occur in a number of organs of the human body like head, joints, back, shoulders, neck etc. In fact, pain in any part of your body can turn into chronic pain. Here are a few symptoms that can help you identify if what you are going through is, in fact, chronic pain:

- persistent and severe body pain

- burning sensation accompanied by the body pain

- fatigue and sleeplessness

- weak immune system

- stiff and sore joints

The 4 types of chronic pain disorders that you should be aware of are:

1. Nociceptive pain

The pain that affects the soft tissues of the body such as the skin and the muscles or the organs that have sensory nerves present in them is called nociceptive pain. The sensory nerves, known as nociceptors can detect the stimuli of pain and send information to the brain and the spinal cord for interpretation. The pain could be either somatic (originating in the outer body) or visceral (originating in the internal organs).

2. Neuropathic pain

This pain is caused when the nerves stop functioning normally. It is caused due to nerve disturbances that result in pain stimuli being spontaneously transmitted to the brain and spinal cord. If you are suffering from this type of chronic pain disorder, you will feel a sharp, shooting and stabbing pain. Neuropathic pain can also be caused due to the formation of neuroma (abnormal growth of the nerve tissue).

3. Psychogenic pain

The pain that is caused by psychological disorders like depression and anxiety is known as psychogenic pain. Sometimes this pain can be accompanied by physical complications like fatigue, body pain and muscle weakness.

4. Idiopathic pain

The pain that exists even though there is no physical or psychological cause for it is known as idiopathic pain. This pain is more common in people who have suffered from a pre-existing painful disorder. Some common examples of idiopathic pain are fibromyalgia (intense pain all over the body) and tmj disorders (pain in the jaw area).

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Related Tip: Why does PAIN occur? Understand the Mechanism of Pain

Your Pain is Chronic if it Falls Under These 4 Types of Chronic Pain Disorders!

Smoking and its effect on tooth

Smoking is a phenomenon where the smoke emanated from a burning substance, usually tobacco, is inhaled. Smoking is a major cause for multiple diseases such as lung cancer, mouth cancer, blood pressure disorders etc.

Smoking tends to limit the capabilities of the immune system and this makes it easier for various diseases to affect the body. Smoking can lead to problems in the teeth where the gum tissues that attach the bone with the teeth are affected. This may cause the blood flow to the gums to be impaired and affect the functioning of the teeth.

The changes that the teeth undergo due to smoking are -

1. It may increase teeth sensitivity.
2. Smoking causes the teeth to be pulled away from the gums.
3. It can result in swollen and bleeding gums.
4. It may cause pain while chewing food.
5. Bone loss around the jawline occurs in smokers.
6. It can result in stained teeth and bad breath.

Disorders related to the teeth caused by smoking

There are various disorders of the teeth which are directly linked to smoking, they are -

-Mouth cancer - in this condition tumors are formed in the mouth
-It can cause plaque to accumulate in the teeth
-It may cause gum disease that can result in tooth loss
-It may interfere with healing period of any dental treatment
-It reduces the success rates of teeth implants
-Sweeteners present in the tobacco can also cause tooth decay

The effects of smoking on the tooth can be minimized by avoiding smoking altogether. Apart from that, following proper dental hygiene such regular brushing and flossing of the teeth will keep the teeth healthy. Avoiding smoking also reduces chances of lesion leukoplakia (white patches near teeth and gums).




Smoking and Its Effect on Teeth

Anger is one of the most common negative emotions, in that when a person is upset or frustrated over somebody or something, it manifests as anger. Though we may not notice on a routine basis, there are various forms of anger and it has a lot of negative effect on the overall physical and emotional health. Some people also are more prone to feel angry and manifest it openly, who is known as  short-tempered.  Read on to know more about anger and how to manage anger effectively.

In today s world though, you cannot throw a fit of rage and say it is because of your short-tempered nature. There are extreme instances of violence triggered by anger, so it is necessary to learn to conquer your anger. 

DIFFERENT PEOPLE RESPOND TO ANGER IN DIFFERENT WAYS, COMMONLY AS:

Verbal anger: The person who is angry, abuses the other person or sometimes throws rage at a totally different person to vent out the anger. 
Passive anger: Though these people are less expressive when angry, they show their anger through sarcasm directed at the person who induced anger. 
Self-inflicted Anger: These people inflict anger on themselves through self-harm acts like minor cuts, bruises, beating oneself, digging nails into their flesh or burns to release their anger.
SYMPTOMS OF ANGER AND AGGRESSION 
We may respond to anger in physical and psychological ways such as those listed below:

Anger   physical responses: increased heart rate and blood pressure, sweating, muscle tension, clenched jaw 
Anger   psychological responses: feelings of frustration, feelings of rejection, feelings of mistreatment, hostility towards some people 
Aggression: shouting at people (e.g. family, colleagues, strangers, physical violence (e.g. hitting, punching people or slamming doors), ignoring or socially excluding others (passive aggression)
WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE SHORT-TEMPERED
Some people really are more impetuous than others. They get aggressive more easily and more intensely as compared to others. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. People who are easily angered don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they get off socially, sulk, drink/smoke or get physically ill.

Easily angered people generally have what we call as "A low tolerance for frustration, aggravations and hassles of daily living" and sometimes overreact to the many common problems of daily living. They feel that they should not be subjected to frustration, annoyance, or inconvenience. They can't take things in stride, and are particularly infuriated if the situation in some way seems illogical: for example, such people might be miffed on being corrected for even a minor blunder. 

HOW ANGER AFFECTS OUR LIVES

Physical effects of anger: Anger triggers the body s  fight or flight  response. Other emotions that trigger this response include anxiety, fear and excitement. The adrenal glands flood the body with stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. The brain shunts blood away from the gut and towards the muscles, in preparation for physical exertion. Heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increase, the body temperature rises and the skin perspires. The mind is sharpened and focused.

Health problems with anger: The constant flood of stress chemicals and associated metabolic changes that go with recurrent unmanaged anger can eventually cause harm to many different systems of the body. Some of the short and long-term health problems that have been linked to unmanaged anger include: 

Headache 
Insomnia 
Digestion problems, such as abdominal pain 
Increased anxiety 
High blood pressure 
Depression 
Heart attack 
Stroke 
Skin problems, such as eczema
IMPACT OF ANGER ON OUR RELATIONS

Anger at home: Anger is a normal emotion but not being able to control your anger at home can damage your personal relationships. When you get angry, it stresses your partner out and breaks the trust in your relationship. When it comes to children, shouting at them can confuse them and make them afraid of you. In the long run, this can affect their social skills.
Anger at the workplace: Getting angry at your workplace can reduce your productivity and harm your relationships with your colleagues. The angrier you get in the office, the more your colleagues and clients will avoid you. Thus, you may risk missing out on crucial teamwork projects that can affect your career growth. A reputation for anger can also make you a target for revenge and lawsuits.
Anger in society: Nobody wants to interact with a person who has a reputation for getting easily offended and angered. Thus the angrier you get, the more your friends will keep away from you. This can be quite frustrating and can make you an even angrier person. Uncontrolled anger can also lead to physical outbursts that can put you in trouble with the law.
Anger is a strong and powerful emotion. If it isn t handled appropriately, it may have destructive results for you and those closest to you. Uncontrolled anger can lead to arguments, physical abuse, physical fights, self-harm and assault. On the other hand, well-managed anger can be a useful emotion that motivates you to make positive changes

ANGER MANAGEMENT - SUGGESTIONS FOR LONG-TERM ANGER MANAGMENT 
The way you typically express anger may take some time to modify. Suggestions include:

Keep a diary of your anger outbursts, to try and understand how and why you get mad. 
Learn relaxation techniques, such as meditation or yoga. 
Consider assertiveness training, or learning about techniques of conflict resolution. 
See a counsellor or psychologist if you still feel angry about events that occurred in your past. 
Exercise regularly.
BENEFITS OF REGULAR EXERCISE IN MOOD MANAGEMENT
People who are stressed are more likely to experience anger. Studies have documented that regular exercise can reduce stress levels and improve one's mood. This may be because physical exertion burns up stress chemicals, and it also boosts production of mood-regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, including endorphins and catecholamines.

TEACHING CHILDREN HOW TO EXPRESS ANGER
Expressing anger appropriately is a learned behaviour. Suggestions on helping your child to deal with strong feelings include:

Lead by example. 
Treat your child s feelings with respect. 
Let them know that anger is natural and should be expressed appropriately. 
Teach practical problem-solving skills. 
Encourage open and honest communication in the home. 
Explain the difference between aggression and anger. 
Teach your child different ways of calming and soothing themselves. 
Punish aggression or violence, but not appropriately expressed anger.

Kill The Anger Before It Kills You!

Depression is often equated with isolation and brooding but this is not always the case. Many people may actually suffer from depression without showing the typical symptoms of this condition. Hence, this form of depression may go unnoticed for many years. Such cases are known as high-functioning depression. Some of the symptoms of this condition include:

Having difficulty expressing happiness: Though a person may be able to work normally, a person suffering from high-functioning depression will find it difficult to express emotions such as happiness. Thus he or she may not know how to act in the event of a promotion at work, the beginning of a new relationship or any other such happy events. In such cases, the happiness a person experiences from these events is temporary and muted.
Lowered energy levels: Unlike not being able to get out of bed when suffering from typical forms of depression, a person suffering from high-functioning depression can follow his or her usual routine. However, they often find themselves lacking the energy they would normally have and feel the need to put extra effort into their normal tasks. This reduces the amount of satisfaction derived from completing tasks.
Persistent self-doubt: While being self-critical is good to a certain extent, a person suffering from this form of depression is rarely satisfied with their work. Even when recognised by their peers or given an award for their work, they feel that this praise is misguided and have trouble accepting it. Thus, suffering from this condition is akin to swimming a race against the current and with additional unnecessary weights.
Substance abuse: Since this form of depression can go undiagnosed for many years, patients often turn to alcohol and other addictive substances in frustration. This can further delay diagnosis as many of the symptoms of this condition can also be attributed to substance abuse.
Feeling like a failure: Many people suffering from this condition feel as though they are constantly wasting time no matter how much they achieve in a day. This can make them feel hopeless and cause frequent changes in jobs.
The good news is that depression can be cured. Hence if someone around you or you, yourself experience such symptoms, talk to a doctor. Alternatively, you could make a few changes in your lifestyle to lift your mood. Try meditating in the morning or fit in some light exercise into your day. You could even take up a new hobby. However, this cannot replace cognitive therapy and psychological counselling.

High Functioning Depression & Anxiety!

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an abnormal condition of the mind that develops when a person is exposed to certain traumatic events in life such as accidents, sexual assault or warfare.

The major symptoms of PTSD are:

Reliving the traumatic experience over and over again; this leads to severe and long-term mental distress.
Recurring dreams about the events.
Provocation of traumatic thoughts by the slightest event that causes distress to the individual.
Avoiding memories and thoughts that might remind them of the event.
Developing a negative view of themselves and the world.
Developing social or specific phobias.
Treatment

Medication and antidepressants: Medicines such as paroxetine, sertraline and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) help the individual address insomnia-related problems that occur due to PTSD and suppress nightmares.
Psychotherapy: This form of therapy is used to cure both mental health conditions (such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety and depression) as well as emotional problems that result from PTSD. Skilled mental health experts are needed for this form of treatment to be administered. They would listen to each individual patiently and provide effective strategies to give solutions to the problems. Some of these therapies are:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: This therapy enables the individual to adapt to changes and recognize thought patterns which lead to irrational and negative behaviour and actions.
Exposure therapy: This therapy causes the affected individual to first become anxious by exposing him/her to the traumatic memories, situations and objects by simulating them. The therapy helps the person to overcome his/her fears and become comfortable in the same environment that had previously caused fear and anxiety.
Group therapy: This popular and effective form of therapy allows the individual to share his/her feelings, fears and thoughts with a group of people who have themselves experienced similar trauma in their lives. Sharing such experiences helps reduces stress levels.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - Ways It Can Be Managed!

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