MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND ARGUMENTS? CHANGE THEM INTO FLOWING CONVERSATION
Conflicts and misunderstandings occur at all levels of interaction – at work, among friends, within families and between relationship partners. When conflict occurs, the relationship may be weakened or strengthened. Thus, conflict is a critical event in the course of a relationship. Arguments  and misunderstandings  can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship. If it is handled well, however, it can be productive – leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness. The health of any relationship is gauged by how the conflicts are resolved, rather than the number of conflicts between the participants. 
Conflicts run all the way from minor, unimportant differences to disputes which can threaten the existence of a relationship. Conflicts with a loved one or a long-term friend are, of course, different from negotiating with someone who does not care about your needs, like a stranger or a salesperson. 

 Principles that underscores all successful conflict resolution. 
1. Both parties must view their conflict as a problem to be solved together so that both parties have the feeling of winning.
2. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible to both. 

We may get so caught up with our own immediate interests that we damage our relationships. If we disregard the position of the other person, if fear and power are used to win, or if we always have to get our own way, the other person will feel hurt and the relationship may be wounded. Similarly, if we always surrender just to avoid conflict, we give the message to the other person that it is acceptable to be bullied and our needs don’t matter. Our feeling of self-worth suffers, resentment surfaces, and we feel frustrated in the relationship. Instead, it is healthier if both parties can remain open, honest, assertive and respectful of the other position. Mutual trust and respect, as well as a positive, constructive attitude, are fundamental necessities in relationships that matter.

SOME EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES TO HOLD EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS:
1. INITIAL AGREEMENT: The other person may be very angry with you and may be having loads of evidence to prove himself right. At that time, instead of arguing your position, simply agree at that time because there will be a grain of truth if nothing else. This doesn’t mean that you are giving up your values and principles. Sometimes its important to diffuse the emotional charge before working out on the differences. Sometimes its ok to “lose” individually in order to “win” together in the end.
2. EMPATHY: Sometimes putting yourself  in the other persons shoes and seeing the problem from their perspective helps build bridges. You could say,” I feel that you must be very upset with me for behaving like that with you, I should have been more considerate”. Half the battle is won and the other participant feels validated and will be more willing to listen to your tale of woes more amicably.
3. ASK QUESTIONS: When you ask questions, it shows that you care and are interested to resolve the problem at hand. Please note that while asking questions, be watchful of your words and tone. Asking exploratory  questions about the other persons thoughts and feelings rather than probing and insulting questions can take you miles on the way to effective resolution. For eg. “Is there anything that you would like me to know about this problem”?
4. USING “I” STATEMENTS: Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings rather than blaming the other person for making you feel like that. This decreases the chance that the other person will become defensive. For example, “I feel pretty upset that this thing has come between us.” This statement is much more effective than saying, “You have made me feel very upset.” 
5. COMPLIMENTS: Find something nice and genuine to say about the other person, even if the other is angry with you. Show a respectful attitude. For example, “I genuinely respect you for having the courage to bring this problem to me. I admire your strength and your caring attitude.” 

A RATIONAL APPROACH TO RESOLVING CONFLICTS:
Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. 
1. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have caused the disagreement. It is important to listen actively to what the other is saying, use “I” statements and avoid blame. 
2. Come Up With Several Possible Solutions. This is the brainstorming phase. Drawing on the points that you both agree on and your shared goals, generate a list of as many ideas as you can for solving the problem, regardless of how feasible they might be. Aim toward quantity of ideas rather than quality during this phase, and let creativity be your guide.
3. Evaluate These Alternative Solutions. Now go through the list of alternative solutions to the problem, one by one. Consider the pros and cons of the remaining solutions until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways of handling the problem. It is important for each person to be honest in this phase. The solutions might not be ideal for either person and may involve compromise. 
4. Decide on the Best Solution. Select the solution that seems mutually acceptable, even if it is not perfect for either party. As long as it seems fair and there is a mutual commitment to work with the decision, the conflict has a chance for resolution. 
5. Implement the Solution. It is important to agree on the details of what each party must do, who is responsible for implementing various parts of the agreement, and what to do in case the agreement starts to break down. 
6. Continue to Evaluate the Solution. Conflict resolutions should be seen as works in progress. Make it a point to ask the other person from time to time how things are going. Something unexpected might have come up or some aspect of the problem may have been overlooked. Your decisions should be seen as open to revision, as long as the revisions are agreed upon mutually. 

Keep in mind that differences will come up in any relationship just because you two are different individuals with different perspectives, ideologies, attitudes and perceptions. Too much similarity in personality and working styles may be comforting but can be very boring and uninspiring overtime. On the other hand, differences can bring change, novelty and an added spice to the relationship. Two very different people can pool their different strengths and work together as a stronger team. Though, extreme differences may overtime sour the relationship and make living or working together difficult. You also need to look out for an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, which is based on power differential rather than respect and trust. A person may then choose to opt out after an amicable “goodbye” or "agree to disagree".























A bad habit could range from smoking or drinking to knuckle breaking or nail biting. A bad habit is one that causes or is likely to cause you or the others in your life, harm. Here are eight steps that can help you break your bad habit:

Try to understand your habit: The most important thing to break a bad habit is to know it first. In case that some habit is hurting you then you certainly need to let go of it. You initially need to set your mind about bringing an end to that habit. It is also important to understand how this habit of yours is hurting you or the ones around you.
Change your thinking: Even when we get to know we have some unfortunate habit, more often than not we are not prepared to separate it since we have practised that habit since a long time and it is by all accounts intense to break that one. We have to change our reasoning about the habit and take a look at it in negative viewpoints since a thing having negative perspectives will be simpler to quit.
Begin small: In case that you have a negative behaviour pattern since quite a while then go slow to break it down in light of the fact that a bad habit is hard to separate at once. Try not to attempt to do everything at once since you would not have the capacity to do as such.
Make tiny improvements: Try not to make extreme improvements to your habit since it is your habit and it will some way or another takes its time to break. Rather make little improvements with the goal that it will not aggravate you and soon you will encounter a noteworthy change in your behaviour and afterwards you will separate the habit totally on a more lasting basis.
Change your environment: A few habits are built because of the environment we live in. The steady surrounding makes us construct that habit in a manner that it gets stronger day by day. So in case that you understand that some negative behaviour patterns have overtaken your life and are not going down, attempt to change your surroundings.
Keep a check: Simply going ahead to bring an end to any habit will not give you appropriate results. Keeping a survey helps you in checking on how much of your bad habit you have defeated and how far you are from breaking it completely.
Reward yourself: Offer yourself a reward each time you see that you have stopped behaving in a certain way, or practising a certain habit. This goes a long way in motivating the individual to strive towards that end goal of breaking the habit completely.

Want to Break a Bad Habit - 7 Steps You Must Follow!

In the modern day lifestyle, it is extremely difficult to be stress free. Even a tiny situation like losing your pen to a something like meeting a deadline at work can cause stress. Stress acts like a catalyst to different diseases like high cholesterol, hypertension, cardiac diseases, etc. You cannot avoid stress, but what you can do is help yourself fight it; and you can actually fight stress with the help of food as well. Here are a few food items which will help you with your fight against stress:

1. Chocolate: Chocolate is one of the best stress busters. It contains magnesium, phenyl ethyl amine and carbohydrates, all of which help lift your spirits. Chocolate helps in the reduction of stress hormones, helping you to relax.

2. Coffee: Coffee helps your brain signal the production of BDNF (a brain derived protein), which helps to keep your brain cells healthy. A low level of BDNF can cause a lot of stress and depression. Coffee triggers many neurotransmitters, which control your mood changes; so may be a cup or two of coffee will help your to be chirpier.

3. Green leafy vegetables: All green leafy vegetables like spinach contain a high quantity of magnesium. Magnesium prevents headaches and fatigue, which in turn reduces stress.

4. Black Tea: Black tea can relieve you of stress, quicker than any other food item. Black tea reduces the amount of cortisol, a hormone which causes stress, and gives you a feeling of calmness.

5. Milk: Milk contains calcium, which is known to ease anxiety and control sudden mood swings related to PMS or post menstrual stress.

6. Bananas: Bananas have a huge content of dopamine, which is a natural chemical that works towards boosting your mood. This is the same chemical released in your body after a session of working out. Bananas also have a lot of potassium and B group vitamins which work towards soothing your nervous system and a lot of magnesium which brings in positivity to your mood.

7. Almonds: Almonds are rich in vitamin E and group B vitamins, which will help you to be more resilient when you are depressed or anxious.

So if you are stressed out, pop in a few almonds or have a cup of tea, and release your stress.

7 Foods That Fight Stress

One of the worst neurological disorders to have is dementia. It is a general term used to describe cognitive decline of the brain. It s not specific disease but denotes several brain disorders and mental illnesses. A person suffering from dementia can have severe impairment in judgment, loss of memory and thinking. Dementia is a very difficult disease not only for the patient but also for their families and caregivers. 

Some facts about dementia are as follows:

It s not a mental disorder occurring in old age but it does degenerates with age.
An estimation of 47.5 million people worldwide suffers from dementia and 60% of these people live in low and middle-income countries and according to WHO this figure is likely to increase.
Every 4 seconds a new case of dementia is reported
Dementia is a collective term to describe the many types of in people, such as 

Alzheimer s Disease: It is one of the most common type of dementia accounting for 60-80% of dementia case. People suffering from Alzheimer s have fewer nerve cells and the size of the brain shrinks.
Vascular Dementia: Another most common form of dementia occurring after a stroke.
Lewy Body Dementia: It is neurodegenerative condition that involves a protein called alpha-synuclein which changes the brain. Symptoms may be similar to Parkinson s disease.
Symptoms of dementia can range from mild to moderate to severe that includes:

Memory Loss
Disorientation meaning inability to focus or pay attention
Changes in visual perception
Impairment in reasoning and judgment
Dementia can be caused by damage to brain cells or progressive brain cell death. As a result communication between brain cells become difficult. Other symptoms include:

Stroke
Brain Tumor
Head Injury
Prion Disease
HIV Infection
Reversible Factors

There are no definite tests for dementia. Doctors and neurologists have to medical history, blood tests and CT scans to find out whether a person has dementia or not. However, the most potent evaluation comes from a set of questions that are asked to a patient suspected of having dementia. The ability to answer those questions correctly is one of the best diagnoses for dementia.
There is no specific treatment for dementia as it is not a curable disease and degenerates with time. However, medicines or drugs given for Alzheimer s can be given to people suffering from dementia.
Although results vary depending upon a person s lifestyle s and habits, doctors suggest eating healthy, exercising regularly, and stopping smoking and drinking may prevent some types of dementia.
The best treatment for dementia is to treat the person with care and love so that they don t feel neglected.
Dementia is often associated with old age but that is not always true. It is important to gain knowledge and educate others also.

Dementia - Quick Facts You Must Know About It!

Lower abdomen pain can originate from a range of medical issues. In some cases, the pain disappears just like the way it came, in some cases, it takes longer medical treatment to cure the pain. Once the origin and the root cause of the pain are diagnosed, there are plenty of medical options to cure the pain. In this piece, we will briefly touch upon the causes of lower abdomen pain:

Appendicitis: This is one of the most common causes of lower abdomen pain. It typically originates from the right side of the stomach and soon diverges into the other side as well. The pain can become unbearable in a matter of hours.
Pelvic inflammatory disease: This is an infection that is caused in the reproductive system of a woman. This is often characterized by vaginal discharge, fever, weakness, intercourse related pain and pain in the lower abdomen.
Miscarriage: In case there is a loss of fetus on or before the twentieth week, the mishap is termed as miscarriage. It results in acute pain in the lower abdomen pain, vaginal bleeding, back pain, fluid expulsion from the vagina etc.
Fibroids: This is a growth in the uterus that is often non-cancerous and is commonly characterized by symptoms such as heavy periods, constipation, pain in the legs and back area, pain in the lower abdomen area, frequent urination etc.
Cancer: A cancerous growth in the lower abdomen area can lead to very sharp pain in the back and surrounding area. The pain is dull in nature and slowly spreads to other areas in a short interval of time.
Cholecystitis: This is a disorder that results in swelling of the gallbladder area. It results in a sharp pain in the lower abdomen area. A doctor needs to be immediately consulted if a person is suffering from this disease.
Intestinal obstruction: When the lower bowl gets blocked due to the contents of the lower intestine, a person can feel a sharp pain in the lower abdomen area.
Salpingitis: When a woman faces stiff pain in the lower abdomen area due to an inflammation of the fallopian tube, Salpingitis is the culprit behind it. This is a sexual disease and needs a doctor s consultation to get rid of it.
PMS: A woman can face throbbing pain in the lower abdomen area during her monthly periods. Other symptoms include cramps, weakness, fatigue etc.
Endometriosis: When there is an extension of the uterus tissue just outside the wall of the uterus, it leads to symptoms such as lower abdomen pain, cramps etc.
Polycystic ovarian syndrome: This is a disorder of the hormone and can lead to symptoms such as heavy periods, a growth of facial hair accompanied with sharp pain the lower abdomen area.

Pain In Lower Abdomen - What Could Be The Causes?

Is depression eating you up from within? are you facing severe emotional meltdown? emotional disturbances can ruin your life and this is why you have to look for the best preventive ways. You can have a consultation with any counsellor so that you can share your problems. Your counsellor will definitely help you to get some potential way out. 

Best ways for preventing emotional meltdown:

 Detecting the signs: the actual signs of emotional meltdown need to be detected and then only you can get rid of the same. Both your facial expressions and behavioural changes are to be observed carefully as these will help you to detect the signs. If you are remaining silent for most of the times, then there is something going on in your mind for sure. 
 Early intervention: you should rely on your intuition or sixth sense so that you can sense the troubles you are going to face. You should have a good observation power so that you can sense things easily. Remain quiet and calm so that you can take the right decisions. 
 Living well: you need to choose a completely healthy way of living, otherwise you will never get freedom from emotional troubles. Do not think much about past incidents, rather you should look forward so that you can go ahead. You should develop only positive mentality in order to discharge your duties in a perfect manner. Remain happy and keep everybody happy and then only you will be able to get the actual essence of life. Healthy eating and good habits are also needed so that your life can become more lively and refreshing. 
 Have proper communication: if you think that your friends or family members are pretty reliable, then you can openly communicate with them. This would help you to get mental relief and relaxation. If you open up your emotions and share them with anybody, then you will feel relaxed and your mind will be calm at all times. 
 Have counselling: it is not always possible to share all your secrets with your loved ones and this is the reason you have to look for the most reliable option. You can go for thorough counselling, and this can help you to get rid of depressing thoughts and other mental troubles. In this case, you have to look for the best counsellor in your locality so that you can disclose all your hidden secrets.

How to Prevent an Emotional Meltdown?

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Dr. Balaji Sainath Annaluru

Dr. Sushil Kumar Sompur

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