5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

All you need to know about Premature Ejaculation

Many of the sexual issues are primarily not big problems. However, because of the taboo and inhibition around them, they are not discussed openly, hence they also fail to get resolved and become bigger. In fact most of the times there are no visible symptoms of any functional problems. Many of them are very basic issues and because of ignorance, myths, and social taboos lead to development of anxieties, distress and further worsening of the problem.

Often men are concerned about their performance in bed with their partner. They worry about- how best then can do, masturbation habits, size of penis and sperm quality. 

Consequences of Premature ejaculation (PE): 
Both you and your partner may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can significantly increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 

PE is one such sexual issue. It's not a disease; Not at all..!! 
If a person is sexually fit and experiences normal erections but just fail to hold the orgasm/ discharge for reasonable time then he is suffering from premature ejaculation. It's  a very normal problem, which if managed properly it can be easily resolved.

We will discuss this PE in 4 parts covering: what it is in actual, how does it happen, how to approach to resolve this problem with behavioural methods, exercise, techniques and medical remedies present in both modern and alternative medicine. 
Let s understand the problem in this 1st part!

What is Premature Ejaculation? 

Premature (early) ejaculation also referred to as rapid ejaculation; also called as early discharge. 
PE is the most common type of sexual dysfunction in men younger than 40 years and seen across all age groups. In elderly men (>60 years) erectile dysfunction is more common. A study conducted by the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed that this condition is almost equally prevalent in sexually active men of all age groups. 
If a man experiences uncontrollable ejaculation (discharge of semen from your penis) either before or shortly after sexual penetration (usually within 1-2 minutes of penetration), he may be suffering from PE. The Mayo clinic at the United States defines PE as a condition in which  a man  always or nearly always ejaculates within one minute of penetration."

Instances of PE:
An occasional instance of premature ejaculation might not be cause of concern, but, if the problem occurs more than 50% of attempted sexual relations signifies existence of abnormal pattern for which treatment is required.

Premature ejaculation takes place with negligible sexual stimulation and even before the desire 
to ejaculate. Another way of describing PE by most therapist or clinicians is the occurrence of ejaculation sooner during sexual intercourse than he or his partner would like. 

This broad definition thus avoids specifying a precise  normal  duration for sexual activity and reaching a climax. The duration of sexual activity is highly variable and depends on various factors specific to each individual. Take a situation, a male may reach orgasm after 7 to 8 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner is able to achieve climax mostly in 5 minutes and both are satisfied with this timing, then this is not defined as PE. 

Alternatively, a male might delay his ejaculation for up to 15- 20 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner, even with foreplay, requires 25-30 minutes of total sexual activity before reaching climax, he may still consider his ejaculation premature because his partner has not been satisfied (at least, not through intercourse). But in routine practice this kind of situation is NOT called as PE. So every individual and every couple is unique. Same individual may have different sexual behaviour with different partners and different circumstances. Varied situations and varied places of performing the act have a vital role to play in determining the outcomes of individual sexual performance/s.



Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 1: Understanding What is PE

Testosterone is a male hormone and can perhaps be referred to as the key to male libido. Low testosterone can therefore, create problems in your otherwise smoothly functioning sex life. It can even impair your overall health and it has been known to have severe psychological effects as well. It can lead to social isolation or can make a person suffer from acute inferiority. 

Some of the symptoms that can be used to identify low testosterone levels are:

Erratic moods and irritability: Physical processes of the human body are hugely dependent on testosterone secretions. A decrease in testosterone levels can make a man moody or irritable. He can lose his temper any minute or might feel unnecessarily discouraged.
Decreased muscle mass: Testosterone is known to be effective in strengthening one's muscles and in building up muscle mass. A man suffering from low testosterone will find it difficult to build muscle strength. Significant changes in lifestyle and regimented exercising might not help when testosterone levels are low.
Long spells of exhaustion: If you have been facing fatigue for quite some time now, your worries should be concentrated around your hormones for a change. The male hormone testosterone when secreted in less quantity can make you feel tired at the drop of a hat. 
Loss of bone mass: Hormonal imbalances in men, strictly characterized by decreased testosterone levels, can lead to thinning of bone mass. The bones grow weak and brittle and they are become prone to fractures.
Erectile dysfunction: A problem in your testosterone levels can impair your sex life. Men have been reported instances of erectile dysfunction with lower levels of this hormone. Some have even reported a marked decrease in their libido as well as semen or ejaculate volume.
Increased hair fall: The health of your hair is greatly influenced by your hormone secretions. Low testosterone can make you suffer from increased hair loss. Bald patches might develop on your scalp. Such bodily changes tend to have psychological effects on a person as well.  
Medical approaches to such a condition and risk factors involved.
To treat such a condition one may resort to testosterone injections or to implantable testosterone pellets. When such kinds of treatment are followed up on a regular basis, considerable improvement is noticed. However, the treatment procedures involve certain risks and thus it is best to consult your doctor, who can then prescribe the best combination of medicines and doses for the best effect.

Low Testosterone - 6 Signs to Help You Spot the Problem

It has been espoused in common knowledge that when you have inttercourse with your partner, it makes both of you feel happier, satisfied and contented. This helps bring you closer to each other and results in a stronger and better relationship. Sexual activities have a direct connection to your psychological well-being. However, the number of times you have sex isn t as important as the quality of the time you spend with your partner.

Stressed out on sex!
Due to modern lifestyle and stress, young couples are increasingly finding it difficult to hit the bed together, thus putting sex on the backburner. Research states most young couples now consider sex as secondary, mechanical and monotonous, which can be kept for a later time. But that is not the sign of normalcy. You don t need to do it daily, but 2 or 3 times a week is beneficial for a healthy body, mind, and relationship.

Some of the benefits of having regular sex

    Sex releases endorphins hormone which reduces stress and also lets you experience euphoria. This makes you feel satisfied and happy during the act and in general with your life.
    It is directly related to promoting attractiveness. During sexual intercourse, the body releases pheromones which make you look more attractive to other people.
    If you experience orgasms during the activity, you are most likely to have an enhanced life span due to the promotion of better circulation within the body.
    Sex acts as an excellent pain reliever due to the release of endorphins.
    Sex also helps you to have better control of your bladder by working out the muscles during an orgasm.
    It has also been shown to lower the risk of prostate cancer in men.

How much is too much?
These are just a few of the reasons sexologists and health care experts advise you to have intercourse often, at least twice weekly. You don t need to do it regularly, as over indulgence will have negative effects too. It could also signal the start of problems with sexual addiction. Some of the negative effects of too much sex could be:

    It will lead to a detrimental effect on your sexual activity. You will find it difficult to get aroused often.
    You experience cramps on your body.
    You can experience difficulties in your bowel and urinary functions.
    You would be constantly distracted by the thoughts of sex which could lead to sex addiction.

It is best to stay within a limit, have fun with your partner twice or thrice a week and enjoy the health and psychological benefits of this natural marvel.

How Frequently Should You be Having Sex?

From a medical standpoint, sex during menstruation is completely fine. Most men have claimed that period sex seems messier when compared to intercourse on normal days, but, other than that, there aren t any risk regarding period sex. In fact, it is advisable to engage in vaginal intercourse during periods for a variety of reasons.

Here are a few things you should know about period sex:

Intercourse during periods isn t harmful: Contrary to the popular myth, period blood doesn t contain impurities which might affect the penis in any way. Instead, menstrual blood is normal blood mixed with disposed off tissues from the lining of the uterus and the penis isn t affected by menstrual blood in any way. The menstrual blood serves as excellent lubricant to make the process of intercourse smoother.
Chances of pregnancy still persist: It is not okay to completely ward off protective measures during periods because even though it is safer than other days, there might be a small chance that the sperm of a man lives on in the female body till early ovulation. Besides, the chance of getting a sexually transmitted disease is the same during period sex.
Can relieve cramps: Some women claim that having sex during their period helps ease their cramps as having an orgasm releases  pain- reducing endorphins  into the bloodstream. Also, some medical practitioners believe that sex provides relief by using up chemicals which are responsible for cramps. Thus, having period sex can prove to be relaxing and less painful than normal days.
Sexual arousal ups during menstruation: Most women feel hornier and more aroused during periods because of the increase in the hormonal levels. Some women feel heavier in the pelvic area which increases the sex drive; precisely the reason why having sex during this time is a good idea. So, for all you know, you might actually have a brilliant intercourse session when she s on her period.

Sex During Periods - What Should You Know About It!

Sexual problems might mean you have a broken heart, literally. The most common sexual problem in men is erectile dysfunction (ED). Erectile dysfunction affects >30% of men between 40 and 70 years of age. There are several different causes of ED, including depression, low testosterone, neurological problems, and some medications, such as beta blocker but the most common cause is a problem with the blood vessels called atherosclerosis.
Erectile dysfunction is frequently a sign of atherosclerosis, that can be the first clue to heart disease in men. It usually comes 3 to 5 years before a heart attack, so after ED is diagnosed, there is time to treat atherosclerosis and prevent a heart attack.
Sexual Activity and Cardiovascular Disease
Decreased sexual activity and function are common in patients with CVD and are often interrelated to anxiety and depression. In fact research has proved that there is a strong link between erectile dysfunction and heart disease. Studies have shown that if a man has ED, he has a greater risk of having heart disease. For instance, in one study, 57% of men who had bypass surgery and 64% of men hospitalized for a heart attack had had ED.
Several having ED can predict that a man will probably have heart disease symptoms within five years. In fact, having ED is as much a risk factor for heart disease as a history of smoking or a family history of coronary artery disease.
The Stockholm Heart Epidemiology Programme (SHEEP) study of post-MI patients (50% women) found that those who were sedentary had a higher risk of MI with sexual activity (relative risk 4.4) than did those who were physically active (relative risk 0.7).
How is the Heart and ED Related?
Deposition of cholesterol in the arteries causing atherosclerosis is taken as the most important reason for ED as the plaque formation reduces the blood flow in the penis, thereby affecting the erection process. However the latest studies show that ED is also due to the dysfunction of the inner lining of the blood vessels (endothelium) and smooth muscle. This causes inadequate blood supply to the heart and the penis which also aids in arthrosclerosis. Hence ED and heart disease are found to be inter related.
What to do?
If you are suffering from ED or heart disease , it is best to discuss your concerns with a specialist - for the heart a cardiologist and for the ED a urologist.

How Erectile Dysfunction and Cardiac Problems are Related

Don't wait any longer, manage your Premature Ejaculation online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Premature Ejaculation - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES