Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

Contraceptives are generally drugs and devices, which are used to prevent pregnancy. A large number of contraceptives are available which allow the couple to enjoy sex without running the risk of unwanted pregnancies. The general categories of contraceptives are explained below:

Barrier Methods:
i. Male Condom: It is one of the most common forms of contraception. They are worn on the penis before sex is initiated. For safety purpose, a new condom should be used every time the person has sex.

ii. Female Condom: Much like male condoms, these are available at over-the-counter pharmacies without prescription. The condoms can be inserted to the vagina anytime within a period of 8 hours prior to sex.

iii. Diaphragm: This should be coated with a spermicide before sex and placed inside a woman's vagina so that the sperms are prevented from entering the uterus.

iv. Cervical Cap: These are used as replacements for diaphragms because some women may develop bladder infections such as cystitis while using it and these caps have lesser contact with the vagina.

Hormonal Methods:
The main implementation of hormonal changes to provide contraception is the pill. This is the most common form of female contraception available. It comes in two forms:
i. Combined contraceptive pill: Contains a combination of hormones such as progestin and oestrogen.
ii. Mini-pill: Contains only progestin: It is available only with the prescription of the doctor and should be used as per the prescription.

Intrauterine Devices
The intrauterine device (IUD) is a long-acting and reversible form of contraception for women. It is of two types: Copper IUD (contains copper) and Hormone-releasing IUDs (progestin hormone is released into the womb slowly). It is a small device that is fitted inside the womb and it provides contraception by facilitating the prevention of fertilization of the egg.

Sterilization
This is a lifelong option that is available for both men and women. In males, the procedure is known as vasectomy which basically ties and cuts off the tubes that carry the sperm.

In women, two forms of sterilization are available; surgical and non-surgical. Surgically, the fallopian tubes are cut and tied using small cuts in the belly so that the ovaries and uterus are not linked. Non-surgically, coils are inserted into the fallopian tubes so the resultant development of scars leads to complete blockage of the tubes.

Other forms of contraceptives include contraceptive patches, vaginal rings, contraceptive injections, spermicides and contraceptive implants.

Different Types of Contraceptives and Its Uses

Habits causing reduction in sperm count

There are a few very common things that a man consumes or does every day without even realizing, that they have a tendency to reduce his fertility. These causes start from drinking and could end with something as harmless as caffeine. Let’s see which habits can cause reduction in sperm count thereby reducing fertility of a man.

1. Eating processed meat harms sperm quality.
2. Excessive usage of laptop can also lead to reduction in sperm count because of the heat that a laptop releases.
3. Hormonal imbalance also causes low sperm production.
4. If a man is underweight or overweight, this could also lead to less production of sperm. So, a man should watch his weight before thinking of extending his family.
5. Exposure to too much heat for a prolonged time leads to reduction in sperm count.
6. Regular smoking also leads to reduction in sperm count.
7.Excessive stress also causes reduction in sperm count.
8. Regular and continuous exposure to chemicals like xylene, painting material and metal like lead also leads to low sperm count.
9. Chemicals present in sunscreen lotion can harm a man’s sperm count so one should be alert while using a sunscreen lotion.
10. Sex toys also cause infertility in men because of presence of phthalates in   them.
11. Regular intake of canned food can also contribute in low sperm count.
12. Regular drinking habits reduce testosterone levels thereby reducing the quality and production of sperm.
13. Excessive intake of canned food leads to intake of bisphenol A which lowers down the quality of the sperm.
14. Excess intake of caffeine also leads to reduction in sperm count.
15. Lack of exercise and laziness also reduces sperm count to a great extent.

Some of the above-mentioned things can be unavoidable, but point here is that taking everything in moderate quantity doesn’t do any harm but problem occurs when the intake is excessive, regular and beyond limit. So, it’s better to reduce the quantity and regular use of such things than letting it affect your sperm count.




Did You Know These 15 Habits Are Reducing Your Sperm Count?

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Resuming sex post pregnancy can take some time as the woman has to go through the initial phase of vaginal soreness and perpetual exhaustion before she can think of having sex. Whether a woman gives birth vaginally or through cesarian section, her body will require time to heal itself; and it is advisable to have intercourse six weeks after childbirth. 

Here are some of the common sex problems post-pregnancy.

1) An eager partner - Your partner might be ready for sexual intercourse but you are not. Even if it is six weeks after giving birth, when the wound inside has mostly healed and perhaps you're not sore anymore, you still may not want to have sex. This is because the hormones in your body are drastically changing, and the uterus is gradually shrinking and your episiotomy wound is progressively healing. In such situations, one should take it slow. Cuddling, kissing and spooning are some of the ways closeness can be fostered.

2) Delicate and tender breasts - Breasts may become sore, heavy and leaky due to nursing your baby. And it is natural that after breastfeeding the whole day, one may want them to be left alone at night. Wearing a nursing top or a tank top during sex is advised. Nursing your baby right before sex can also help as your breasts won't be as full and achy.

3) Sex won't feel the same - It is natural that after delivering a baby, sex won't feel exactly the same. This is because the vaginal muscles would be temporarily stretched out. And there is a chance of temporary soreness and inflammation within the vagina. Kegel exercises may help to get back on track.

So, in case you're a woman and felt strange about not being up for sex post your pregnancy, there's absolutely nothing to be stressed about. And men, if you are reading this tip, your woman needs you to understand her even more after her becoming a mother; so, treat her with utmost care.



3 Things You Need to Know about Post-Pregnancy Sex

Sex tips every woman needs to know by the time she is 30
 
Thirty is more or less the age by which you can consider yourself a woman of the world. You have toiled hard to get into a comfortable space at work and are into a stable relationship as well. An important aspect to not ignore is your sexual life. Be equipped with the right ideas and ways to enjoy that aspect of your life.

Some facts and tips for the women of today.

1. Safety is foremost: meaningless hookups or otherwise - you cannot be careless; safety must be your priority. 

2. Express yourself: men are bad at guessing. They will not be able to guess what you like and how you like it. Tell the man exactly what you expect.

3. Live in the moment: a quickie is never a bad idea. Having frequent sex has its perks for your mood as well as overall health. An impromptu quickie will only put a spring to your steps.

4. Watch each other pleasuring self: it is not just for visual appeal, it is in fact educative - you get to study exactly what type of touch, speed, grip, etc gives him the most pleasure. He gets to know the same about you.

5. Take the initiative: most men like being shown that they are desired too. Why should he always initiate sex. Take the lead.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on consult.


Sex Facts Every Woman Needs To Know By The Time She Is 30

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