MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND ARGUMENTS? CHANGE THEM INTO FLOWING CONVERSATION
Conflicts and misunderstandings occur at all levels of interaction – at work, among friends, within families and between relationship partners. When conflict occurs, the relationship may be weakened or strengthened. Thus, conflict is a critical event in the course of a relationship. Arguments  and misunderstandings  can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship. If it is handled well, however, it can be productive – leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness. The health of any relationship is gauged by how the conflicts are resolved, rather than the number of conflicts between the participants. 
Conflicts run all the way from minor, unimportant differences to disputes which can threaten the existence of a relationship. Conflicts with a loved one or a long-term friend are, of course, different from negotiating with someone who does not care about your needs, like a stranger or a salesperson. 

 Principles that underscores all successful conflict resolution. 
1. Both parties must view their conflict as a problem to be solved together so that both parties have the feeling of winning.
2. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible to both. 

We may get so caught up with our own immediate interests that we damage our relationships. If we disregard the position of the other person, if fear and power are used to win, or if we always have to get our own way, the other person will feel hurt and the relationship may be wounded. Similarly, if we always surrender just to avoid conflict, we give the message to the other person that it is acceptable to be bullied and our needs don’t matter. Our feeling of self-worth suffers, resentment surfaces, and we feel frustrated in the relationship. Instead, it is healthier if both parties can remain open, honest, assertive and respectful of the other position. Mutual trust and respect, as well as a positive, constructive attitude, are fundamental necessities in relationships that matter.

SOME EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES TO HOLD EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS:
1. INITIAL AGREEMENT: The other person may be very angry with you and may be having loads of evidence to prove himself right. At that time, instead of arguing your position, simply agree at that time because there will be a grain of truth if nothing else. This doesn’t mean that you are giving up your values and principles. Sometimes its important to diffuse the emotional charge before working out on the differences. Sometimes its ok to “lose” individually in order to “win” together in the end.
2. EMPATHY: Sometimes putting yourself  in the other persons shoes and seeing the problem from their perspective helps build bridges. You could say,” I feel that you must be very upset with me for behaving like that with you, I should have been more considerate”. Half the battle is won and the other participant feels validated and will be more willing to listen to your tale of woes more amicably.
3. ASK QUESTIONS: When you ask questions, it shows that you care and are interested to resolve the problem at hand. Please note that while asking questions, be watchful of your words and tone. Asking exploratory  questions about the other persons thoughts and feelings rather than probing and insulting questions can take you miles on the way to effective resolution. For eg. “Is there anything that you would like me to know about this problem”?
4. USING “I” STATEMENTS: Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings rather than blaming the other person for making you feel like that. This decreases the chance that the other person will become defensive. For example, “I feel pretty upset that this thing has come between us.” This statement is much more effective than saying, “You have made me feel very upset.” 
5. COMPLIMENTS: Find something nice and genuine to say about the other person, even if the other is angry with you. Show a respectful attitude. For example, “I genuinely respect you for having the courage to bring this problem to me. I admire your strength and your caring attitude.” 

A RATIONAL APPROACH TO RESOLVING CONFLICTS:
Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. 
1. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have caused the disagreement. It is important to listen actively to what the other is saying, use “I” statements and avoid blame. 
2. Come Up With Several Possible Solutions. This is the brainstorming phase. Drawing on the points that you both agree on and your shared goals, generate a list of as many ideas as you can for solving the problem, regardless of how feasible they might be. Aim toward quantity of ideas rather than quality during this phase, and let creativity be your guide.
3. Evaluate These Alternative Solutions. Now go through the list of alternative solutions to the problem, one by one. Consider the pros and cons of the remaining solutions until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways of handling the problem. It is important for each person to be honest in this phase. The solutions might not be ideal for either person and may involve compromise. 
4. Decide on the Best Solution. Select the solution that seems mutually acceptable, even if it is not perfect for either party. As long as it seems fair and there is a mutual commitment to work with the decision, the conflict has a chance for resolution. 
5. Implement the Solution. It is important to agree on the details of what each party must do, who is responsible for implementing various parts of the agreement, and what to do in case the agreement starts to break down. 
6. Continue to Evaluate the Solution. Conflict resolutions should be seen as works in progress. Make it a point to ask the other person from time to time how things are going. Something unexpected might have come up or some aspect of the problem may have been overlooked. Your decisions should be seen as open to revision, as long as the revisions are agreed upon mutually. 

Keep in mind that differences will come up in any relationship just because you two are different individuals with different perspectives, ideologies, attitudes and perceptions. Too much similarity in personality and working styles may be comforting but can be very boring and uninspiring overtime. On the other hand, differences can bring change, novelty and an added spice to the relationship. Two very different people can pool their different strengths and work together as a stronger team. Though, extreme differences may overtime sour the relationship and make living or working together difficult. You also need to look out for an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, which is based on power differential rather than respect and trust. A person may then choose to opt out after an amicable “goodbye” or "agree to disagree".























Anger is a type of feeling whereas aggression is a type of behaviour. However, the two are frequently confused with each other. At different times individuals use their anger as a reason to act in an aggressive way. Here are a few differences between anger and aggression:

Anger is an acceptable feeling simply like bliss or sadness. Everybody feels angry once in a while. However, numerous individuals deny that they ever feel angry. For others, they have a tendency to wind up being angry to conceal different sentiments and emotions, for example, hurt and sadness. Angry sentiments can discharge endorphins, which are very powerful chemicals inside the body. This rush of energy can help individuals to alleviate themselves from feeling sad or hurt. Nonetheless, covering these very basic and fundamental feelings with anger is not a sound and healthy coping mechanism. Feeling angry is all right, however, the practice that people show when they feel angry may fall into the category of aggression. Anger is a very normal and typical feeling.

Aggression, on the other hand, is a decision. Just because you feel angry and furious does not give you the authorization to treat others poorly. Forceful practices tend to scare the other individual into doing something whether they need to or not. At the point when individuals carry on forcefully, they do not recognise the other individual's sentiments or necessities. Rather, they want the other individual to give in. There are a bunch of approaches to carry on aggressively and it might turn out to be physically injurious. Verbal types of aggression involve making threats or demands. It might incorporate verbally abusing or putting the other individual down. Physical types of aggression may incorporate tossing things, breaking things, hammering things, or physical assaults.

Aggressive conduct can be separated into different classes. These include instrumental aggression and receptive aggression. Instrumental aggression is objective guided aggression in which harm to another is not the essential objective, despite the fact that it can be an optional consequence of the activity. Another sort of aggression is called responsive aggression. Once in a while, it is referred to as hostile aggression. Responsive aggression is conduct that has harm as its primary and in some cases secondary objective. As a rule, this activity is because of an apparent unfairness, insult, or wrongdoing.

Anger is an impermanent emotional state brought on by disappointment and frustration. Aggression, on the other hand, is a regular attempt to hurt a person or to destroy property. In evaluating the conduct, try to make out the difference between anger and aggression that demonstrates emotional issues so as to lead a more normal and well-adjusted life. One can also take the help of anger management or therapy for better evaluation of the source of anger and its surrounding feelings. 

How to Differentiate Between Anger and Aggression?

Depression is spreading at a fast pace in modern India due to many reasons like poor diet, lifestyles, poor social support system and having too many unrealistic expectations from themselves and other people in their lives. It can affect the rich and the poor and any age group also. According to World Health Organisation, 1 in every 10 people suffer from depression. Due to the social stigma attached to it, most people remain undiagnosed and hence suffer from it silently. This is a huge waste of human potential and capability. Some common symptoms of Depression include:

Appetite loss or an increased hunger,
Insomnia or Oversleeping,
Pervading feelings of worthlessness, helplessness and hopelessness,
Anger and Irritability,
Intense physical, emotional and mental fatigue,
Self hatred for making mistakes and not coming up to the expectations of self or other people
Risky Behaviour like rash driving, addictions, dangerous sports,
Problems in Concentration, Memorising and Focussing
Unexplained aches and pains, stomach-aches, Back pain or Headaches
Sudden loss of Interest in Daily Activities, Hobbies. Work
Suicidal Thoughts or Attempts

Here are some basic tips to beat the blues.

Recognising and Conquering Self Criticising Inner Voice:
You would have heard this harsh voice which often reprimands you for making mistakes, or doing something silly or taking any risks. Often this voice would have said, "Its always your fault"," You are capable of nothing"," You are always making mistakes", "Only bad things have happened in my life", " My life is Over". These are called self destructive negative thoughts which can interfere and distract you from your daily activities and a general sense of confidence, power, wellbeing and balance. Depressed people often associate themselves with a negative image of self and of the world, which is very incapacitating and makes the person feel guilty, angry, worthless, hopeless and helpless. The trick is to combat this inner thinking process with evidence to disprove it and support the evidence with logical and rational reasoning and seeing the whole picture with its positives rather than focussing on the negative parts only. For eg.."Good things have also happened in my marriage"," I can learn from my mistakes and do things differently next time"," I have achieved many things in life so I am capable and intelligent"," Life is not over yet, there is hope because I am still alive". such statements are compassionate and help in restoring lost confidence, faith and hope which is vital to beat depression blues.

Be Active:
During depression, physical energy takes a beating as a person goes through an emotionally low phase. People who don't exercise regularly are more prone to depression as the body and mind lacks in blood circulation and "feel good" neuro chemicals called Endorphins. When you are feeling down in the dumps, exercising, yoga, gym, cycling, aerobics, dance can help in elevating the heart rate and thus increasing the blood circulation and elevating the moods. Cycling to work, using the stairs, walking just a little bit as a  daily small goal can be beneficial as energy levels can be very low in depression. Getting the sun on the back bone which carries many nerves is also important and helps in chemical synthesis in combating depression.

Be Social:
Man is a social animal by evolutionary process. We tend to feel better in harmonious social communities for our social and psychological wellbeing. Identify people who are well meaning and supportive of your condition. Don't withdraw from the society, thought hat may be the easiest and logical thing to do in depression. Meeting people with similar interests as yours, people who value you for who you are and some people who are funny and can make you laugh will be of immense importance for boosting your self esteem and self worth. See if some one can benefit from your care..caring for others is a huge booster of self worth and self esteem. Having a pet and caring for it can be another activity that you can look into. Watching comedy shows, movies, laughing at your own mistakes or other people mistakes can be a wonderful way to look at life more objectively. Don't take yourself and other people too seriously..everyone makes mistakes and nobody is perfect.


By no means is this list complete. Please look around and find more tips that can help in beating the blues. If Depression is caught in its early stages then its completely curable. Please don't self diagnose and take medications. Get it diagnosed with a psychiatrist or a psychologist. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Stress management, Marital Counselling, Meditations and relaxation techniques, Spirituality are very powerful in dealing with depression too.

3 ways to combat depression

Being affected with bipolar disorder can not only strain any relationship but also disrupt different aspects of family life. The mood swings stemming from bipolar disorder tend to occur spontaneously without any particular reason. The effects too can be detrimental. Below are some of the best ways one can cope with the impact of a bipolar disorder:

Looking for patterns and signs: You should keep a watch for signs that indicate that you may be entering an episode of mania or depression. Along with a shift in the mood, one should look out for any changes in sleep patterns. It is also essential to keep a track of alcohol or drug usage, energy levels, level of concentration and self-confidence. Since stress is considered a major trigger of bipolar disorder, you should try to simplify life by staying away from any triggers of stress. You may also ask your family and friends to share responsibilities in case your job is too stressful.
Keeping an organized and regular schedule: Sticking to a regular and organized routine can help in controlling mood swings and symptoms of bipolar disorder. People with bipolar disorders generally don t deal well with a lot of changes. Regardless of whether one does errands or work irregularly, it is important to sleep and wake up at a particular time. Also, practising healthy sleeping habits and relax before bed by listening to music, reading books and taking a warm bath is recommended. Make sure that you don t watch thrilling television shows, surf the internet, or play video games since these habits can worsen the mood swings.
Getting regular exercise: Studies show that regular physical exercise can go a long way in improving your mood. You can start by taking a slow walk around your neighbourhood and can gradually increase the intensity of your workouts.
Avoiding alcohol and other drugs: Not just alcohol, caffeine is also a strong stimulant which can make you stay wide awake at night and trigger manic episodes. It is also advised to cut back on soda and other sugary drinks, particularly at night. Alcohol, as well as other drugs, can also affect the impact of the medication which, in turn, can trigger mood swings.
Writing down your feelings: Keeping a journal of the day to day life, stressors and other problems that you may have encountered through the day can be of help. With the passage of time, you will be able to identify the patterns that emerge as triggers which in turn can help you prepare yourself and manage the mood swings better.
These small lifestyle changes and coping strategies can aid in dealing with bipolar disorder effectually. Visiting a specialist can help you get an insight into the exact condition and assist in the management of the triggers.

5 Tips On How To Cope With Bipolar Disorder!

Alcohol, tobacco and drugs; these are some of the most common substances that people can get addicted to. Getting addicted is easy but to get rid of your habit is hard. 

Here are a few things that could help:

Set a date: Addicts who tell themselves that they will quit tomorrow often never end up doing so. Set a date for yourself when you will have your last smoke and drink. Ideally, you should set this date a few weeks from the day you decide to give up your bad habits to allow yourself to be mentally prepared.
Find new friends: Peep pressure is one of the most common reasons for an addiction to begin. Hence, the first thing to do when you are trying to give up a bad habit is to stay away from the people you associate with that habit and make new friends.
Hold yourself accountable to someone: While you can give in to yourself, it is harder to make excuses for doing something when you are being held accountable by someone else. Find a mentor or a friend who will be there for you and who will  sponsor  your deaddiction.
Find your weak spots: Every habit is triggered by certain factors. If you have decided to try and give up a bad habit, identify the factors that trigger it and avoid them. For example, your morning cup of coffee may trigger the need for a cigarette. By replacing coffee with juice, you can make your morning a little easier.
Take up a new hobby: A hobby is a great way to distract yourself from cravings. Crossword puzzles and Sudoku are great as indoor hobbies while swimming is an excellent outdoor hobby. You could even try gardening or crafts.
Exercise: One of the many benefits of exercising is that it can help boost endorphins and make you feel happier and thus less likely to crave cigarettes of alcohol. Aim for at least half an hours exercise each day.
Maintain a journal: Some days are good and some days are bad. To give yourself a balanced view of your deaddiction process, maintain a journal. Write down your achievements as well as your pitfalls and be proud of what you have achieved for yourself.
Help someone else: The best way to learn something is to teach it to someone else. Similarly, with addiction, the best way to be strong and give up a bad habit is to help someone else do it. This way, you are forced to be a good example and give up the habit yourself.
Ask for help: Do not be so proud as to not be able to ask for help when you need it. Remember, it is better to appear weak and ask for help rather than go back to your addiction.
Don t give up: Relapses are common but they do not have to be the end of your efforts. If you do have a bad day and have a few drags of smoke or maybe a drink, tell yourself that it s ok. Identify the reasons why you gave in to yourself and start afresh from the next morning.

Addiction - 10 Sure Shot Ways To Deal With It!

Brain health is essential for people of all ages. Of late MIND and DASH are two popular approaches that are leading the way dietary requirement for brain health. MIND stands for Mediterranean Intervention for Neurodegenerative Delay whereas DASH stands for Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension. Both the approaches argue that diet plays a crucial role in maintaining overall brain health. Here is a list of 8 diet changes that can boost the brain health without having to take any other brain supplements:

Leafy green vegetables: Leafy vegetables are tried and tested source of natural brain tonic. Vegetables such as spinach, kale, collard greens and arugula should be thoroughly washed and chopped. They can be consumed with salads, pasta, and soups.
Pulses: Pulses such as lentils, beans and peas can be consumed with salads to maintain brain health. Alternatively, they can be consumed along with burgers to give it a twist. They can also be used to make patties. A mixture of black beans, onions and peppers can be mashed along with some spices to form the main entr e of the patties.
Whole grains: A batch of brown rice, quinoa, oats or faro can be prepared and consumed to upgrade brain health. While grains comprises of fibre and makes for a very fulfilling meal. Whole grain can be prepared in batches so that it can be consumed throughout the week along with salad and soup.
Home-made snacks: A snack made from walnuts, pumpkin, almonds and pistachios can serve as a quick snack during long drives and small breaks in between meetings. A small portion of these snacks will not only boost brain health but give a sense of fulfilment.
Berries: Frozen berries are known to be extremely beneficial for brain health. They can be mixed with smoothies and consumed during breakfast and or in the form of snacks. Berries are a nice addition to oatmeal as well.
Olive oil: the butter or the refine oil can be traded with olive oil while preparing vegetables and meats. It can also be used as a base for homemade vinaigrettes. Olive oil serves the purpose of good health and has hardly any side effect on the body.
Poultry items: One can become a lot creative when it comes to consuming poultry items. Chicken breasts for instance, when cooked with garlic and onion in a pressure cooker, can be a real agent for brain maintaining brain health. One can add some flavour and consume it along with sandwiches and salads.
Fish: One fish should be consumed once in every week. Salmon fish is known to have a great effect on mental health.

8 Diet Changes That Can Boost Your Brain Health

Don't wait any longer, manage your Past Life Regression online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Past Life Regression - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES