Can true love happen more than once?

The world revolves around love. Our movies, books, stories, ambitions, desires, anything and everything, is guided by the magical power of love. Shahrukh khan famously said in his movie kuch kuch hota hai, that 'love can only happen once'. Is that true or, can true love happen more than once?

The question occurs more often than not when someone is going through a breakup, or when people wait and stay single, guided by the belief that there is only one perfect person for everyone, who would give them a happily ever after.

Let's see what truth really is.

There is no set algorithm or formula to say how many partners one can actually sustain in a lifetime. That depends on the idea of love individually for different people. Some people after a failed relationship give up the fight, and give up on the idea of love too, thinking that they had gotten once chance, and they blew it. While on the other hand, some people move on from one relationship to another, investing equally in every relationship, and never losing hope on finding their happiness.

The notion of just one love per lifetime may have been imbibed in us by the society that promotes monogamy. Insisting that it is morally correct for a couple to always stand by each other, no matter how incompatible they may be.

But the more pressing reason for the above notion is fear. The fear of falling in love again, and losing at it again, stops many people from even considering that as an option. There is a comfort in thinking that you tried your hand at love, but failed, and thus, never trying again will never let you suffer from the inexplicable pain that the failed love left you with.

However, we as humans, having the ability to connect with our family and friends, are designed to love more than one person in our lives. So it is clear that we are capable of falling in love again. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and truly so.

There are many people out there who you will be able to connect with, feel immensely happy around, and feel at home with. The thought that there is only one perfect person for everyone is not just restrictive, but also unhealthy. If you feel too damaged to love again or too scared to love even for the first time, try to look at the feeling logically than emotionally. Try to assess your compatibility with the person; see if your interests match, see what differentiates you both that'll help you both grow; see if you are able to picture a future with them, and so on.

Sometimes our past baggage or our fears clog our judgment. We all deserve second chances in life, and hence, we deserve a second, or even a third or fourth chance at love. So, do not stop at one failed relationship. Go out and seek love again in a person who is able to provide you with a more fulfilling and emotionally satisfying relationship.

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Is Shahrukh correct when he says 'Love can happen only once'?

What is avoidant personality disorder?

Feelings of inadequacy for long durations and being extremely sensitive to what others think of you is a disorder called avoidant personality disorder symptom. Such feelings of inadequacy in turn push the person to become isolated from the society and the person avoids people, work, and other activities. Social and occupational functioning is affected as the person is extremely sensitive and has very low self-esteem. Symptoms of avoidant personality disorder are:

1. Avoiding social interactions: people suffering from this disorder avoid almost all sorts of interpersonal contact since they lie with the fear of rejection, disapproval and criticism.

2. Avoiding risks: they avoid taking personal risks or being involved in activities which seem new, because they fear that they will embarrass themselves.

3. Socially unplugged: they are not willing to get involved with individuals unless they are absolutely certain of being liked by the person.

4. Preoccupied with negative perception: the idea of being criticized or rejected in social functions is so deep within their psyche that they are often preoccupied with only this thought in their minds.

5. Inferiority complex: people suffering from avoidant personality disorder consider themselves as good for nothing, unappealing, and inferior to everyone else.

6. Avoid intimacy: they are always reluctant to get into intimate relationships because they feel that they will be shamed and ridiculed. Because of such fears, they let go of relationships where they would have been genuinely cherished too.

The only treatment possible for this disorder is psychotherapy. While some people opt for long term therapy, most people usually visit a psychotherapist only when they feel overwhelmed with their fear and emotions.

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6 Signs of Avoidant Personality Disorder, 2nd Most Common Psychiatric Disorder

Asperger's syndrome has recently come under the umbrella of autism spectrum disorder. This syndrome usually affects the social skills of the patient, most heavily. The patient may seem normal and even intelligent at first glance. But on closer interaction, several social skill problems will come to the fore including an obsessive focus on certain topics and issues. Repetitive behaviour is also a part of this disease. Let us find out more about asperger's syndrome.

Symptoms: the symptoms usually begin to show up early on in one's childhood. The patient will not be able to make eye contact while speaking with others. Also, a perfectly normal person may seem inordinately shy and reserved during social interactions. This awkwardness may come to the fore in the form of looking for expression cues on other people's faces and even the body language. The patient may not be a very happy and lively soul, with hardly a smile to crack at the funniest of jokes. The lack of emotions or the emotionally numb state is also a major giveaway of the condition. Other symptoms may include a strong aversion towards change in food habits and routine.

Diagnosis: the diagnosis is usually done by mental health specialists like a developmental paediatrician, a psychiatrist, a psychologist or even a paediatric neurologist. These specialists can put the child through a variety of tests that will study the neurological health as well as the speech and emotional behaviour of the child.

Educating the parent: once the diagnosis has been done, the parents of the patient will have to appraised of the condition and its implications. The symptoms and treatment will have to be duly discussed even as the parents are put through training and therapy to learn techniques with which they can help the child in progressing along more normal lines. The therapy will also help the parents deal with the challenge of living with someone suffering from this condition.

Treatment: there are varied forms of treatment that aim at fixing the specific areas and symptoms that the patient is learning to live with. Social skills training, speech and language therapy, cbt or cognitive behavioural therapy and other forms of treatment can help the child overcome many symptoms that come from this condition.

In the course of the treatment, it is important for the child, parent and therapist concerned to realise that there is no single approach that can be applied to all patients suffering from asperger's syndrome. Individual care and therapy will be required for individual cases. At the same time, most of the skills will need to be repeated at home so that the child takes them more seriously.

What Is Asperger's Syndrome?

There are instances when a kid doesn t show the usual signs of development compared to their peers. Most parents take it casually thinking that their child will catch up in due course only to find a larger problem associated with it. It is therefore extremely important to discuss speech and language related delays with a medical practitioner to find out whether a child is immature or has a genuine problem which requires medical help. A child can show different signs as per age:

Different age group:

Within the first 12 months, a baby should be able to relate to his environment and make babbling and cooing sound. It is often observed that by month 9, a baby is capable of stringing sounds after seeing things. If a baby is intently watching objects, but is unable to make any sound, this may be an early symptom of speech or language related problem.
Between the 12th and the 15th month, a baby should be capable of making a wide array of sounds including few commonly used words. Babies should also be able to take few basic instructions and oblige those.
Between the age of 18th and 24th months, a baby becomes smart enough to pronounce anywhere in the range of 20 to 50 words. They also start combining words and make simple sentences. They should be capable of identifying common objects and remember their names.
By the age of 3, a toddler should be smart enough to combine 4-5 words and form sentences. Kids of this age also become smart enough to take straightforward instructions and perform them comfortably. Any deviation on this should be immediately reported to the Doctor.
What are the warning signs?
If a child between the age of 1-2 is not able to do the following things:

Fails to use gesture
Use more gesture than vocalising by the age of 18 months
Produce no voice by 18th-month
Fails to perform simple instructions
A child between the age of 2-3 needs evaluation if:

Capable of imitating words but isn t spontaneous in vocalising
Repeats certain words multiple times
The tone of voice is unusual compared to his peers
Possible causes of speech and language delay:

Problems with palate leading to oral impairments
Short frenulum restricting sufficient tongue movement to produce speech
Oral-motor problems leading to speech limitation
Problems related to hearing
Chronic infection of the ear leading to speech delay
What does the pathologist assess?

What can the child speak?
What can the child understand?
Oral-motor status
Clarity of speech
Post the above evaluation a pathologist directs a plan of action. Sometimes speech therapy sessions are recommended in order to improve kids  skill. For a motor related problem, a doctor can state a plan of action and limit the expectation of parents.

Speech & Language Delay - Spot The Signs!

Sometimes you may find yourself stuck in a rut that is frustrating and mind numbing. If you re in such a situation, it could be an indication that you need to reprogram your mind. This will help you set realistic goals for yourself and lead a more fulfilling life. Before getting to how to reprogram your mind, it is important to first understand how the mind works.

Mind vs Brain

In colloquial terms, the words mind and brain may be used interchangeably but, the two are in fact not the same. While the brain is a physical organ, the mind can be described as a virtual entity present within each cell of our body and extended to minimum 2 inches outside body. That is why mind controls body. It is more like a collection of thoughts, emotions, imagination and memories. When compared to a computer, the brain acts as the hardware while the mind is the software within it.

The Three States of Mind 
The mind can be categorized into three states: 

Conscious
Subconscious 
Unconscious
Actions that need you to make an effort and think about what you are doing are said to be performed by the conscious mind. The subconscious mind refers to information that is accessible to you when needed and otherwise not something you pay attention to. For example, when walking down the road to your house, your mind subconsciously creates landmarks. The unconscious mind consists largely of primitive instincts and memories from early childhood that may not be easily recalled.

Unconscious mind also contains memories from past lives. That has been proved by father of modern hypnotherapy, Dr. Brian Weiss. Thus hypnotherapy under supervision is a great tool for reprogramming your mind. Embedding positive cognitive scripts / suggestions through hypnosis helps in reprogramming mind. 

A majority of our daily functions are controlled by the unconscious mind. The memories stored in our unconscious mind are responsible for many decisions that we make based on beliefs. Thus, training the unconscious can help reprogram the mind and make it more productive.

Here are three easy tips to help you make your unconscious more efficient.

Meditation: Meditation not only calms the mind and reduces stress, but can also help train the unconscious mind. Meditation helps increase your ability to concentrate on an activity and achieve the desired level of mental focus. This, in turn, helps develop new ideas and increases your belief in yourself.
Visualize what you want to achieve: Merely telling yourself that you want to do better is not enough. You need to set a goal for yourself and visualize it to begin working towards it. Create a visual board of the type of house you would like to live in, the lifestyle you would like to have, the job you would like to have etc. avoid generalized visions and be specific about what you want.
Hypnotherapy: Hypnotherapy is a safe, brief and effective way to deal with many emotional and anxiety-related issues, such as those listed on the right. It enables you to deal with your own mental challenges and blocks, so that you can build on your strengths and take control of your life. 

Reprogramming the Mind - How it Helps You?

When you hear the word  schizophrenia , the first thing that comes to mind are those serial killers shown on the TV or you call it split personality. But that is not the true meaning of it. It is not split personality or some kind of violent illness. Schizophrenia is a severe chronic mental illness which makes it difficult to differentiate between what is real and what is false.

As this is a mental illness, you will not be able to see any changes physically. You need to understand the symptoms of schizophrenia in order to know if a person is suffering from this problem. There are different kinds of symptoms that are used for diagnosing schizophrenia, but they all differ from person to person. Also, the symptoms that you see now, may not be seen later as the disease progresses. There are different types of schizophrenia and each has different symptoms.

Here is a list of the different types of schizophrenia and the most predominant and significant symptoms of each type.

Paranoid Schizophrenia: People suffering from paranoid schizophrenia are characterized by strong auditory hallucinations and of being persecuted. However, they are very normal and function normally. But they are not ready to discuss their feelings openly and the symptoms are not observable. Other symptoms include anger, hostility and disorganized speech.
Disorganized Schizophrenia: As the name suggests, people with disorganized schizophrenia exhibit disorganized thoughts. Delusions and hallucination may not be seen in this type of schizophrenia. The behavior of the affected person is quite disorganized or it is difficult to understand what they are saying. In fact, some emotions exhibited by the affected person are hard to understand or they are not at all relevant to the current situation. Their daily routine and activities will also be affected.
Catatonic Schizophrenia: People with catatonic schizophrenia are characterized by increased or decreased movement. This symptom actually varies from person to person. Some people stay at a place for a long time without any kind of movement and some people keep moving for hours and do not stop. They do not speak for hours and sometimes they keep repeating the same thing over and over again. This has to be treated immediately as they will not be able to manage even their daily routine with this kind of behavior.
Undifferentiated Schizophrenia: Undifferentiated schizophrenia is a condition where the symptoms do not fall into any of the above three types. You will also be able to observe hallucinations, delusions, anger, disorganized speech or catatonic behavior.
Residual Schizophrenia: As the name suggests, it is the residue of schizophrenia behavior, but it is less severe as compared to the past. Delusions, hallucination and disorganized speech may still be present but compared to the past, the patient would be doing better. 

Schizophrenia - 5 Types & Their Signs!

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