
A new relationship involves a lot of weighing from both the sides. Learn what really matters to win people over in this post. When you want to build a new relationship, whether it is for work, business, personal, marriage, friendship etc there are several factors that help take off and bloom the relationship. These factors are broadly the same in different age groups as far as psychological impact matters. Some of the most important influential factors from a psychological point of view have been highlighted here. 

1. Presentation- When you want to draw someone into relationship with you for any reason, it is important that you present yourself at you best levels be it physical or mental. Like they say that the first impression is the best impression, your display of you strengths creates an impression that helps people decide what they want to do with you. This doesn't mean you should hide all your weaknesses but highlighting your strengths is as important as making your weaknesses clear. Always learn to put your best foot forward as sometimes that itself may not be enough. You can't really send your neighbour for your job interview!! There are many instances when people send different photographs in their applications and different ones appear for the exams. This is mere cheating and not winning.

2. Plan – Let people know what you want to do with them and what they can they can do with you. No one can say they don’t have a plan. There is always some plan. Knowing it strengthens why you want to have that relationship in the first place. Otherwise it's like something which is there but you can never want to do anything with! When you are honest with your plans and they workout as you described it, it creates confidence in relationship or else it is destroyed forever. You can cheat a person with your plans once, not forever.

3. Possibilities- Will this relationship bring me trouble? Obviously nobody wants to get into a relationship with anybody that brings them trouble be it physical or mental. Next question is whether it will benefit me? Small or big depends on person's needs. Some relationships neither bring us trouble nor benefits us, such relationships are better than the ones which can cause harm.

4. Potential – Question. Does this relationship you are trying to develop have any possibilities of growth a few or many years down the line. Obviously we have a lot of friends who wither by passing of time. Does this relationship have an expiry date irrespective of how well or bad it goes? Like when we join college we know for sure that the friends will be with us till the duration of the course and that's it. We will know that if we study together it will help us achieve great grades in college and hence a great life later. These kind of growth possibilities or possibilities of deterioration are important to be well aware of and will naturally decide the course of relationships.

5. Progress – No matter what our initial assessments are, how the relationships helps us fare in the outside world will ultimately decide the future of any relationship. Loss, sorrow, tragedy, degradation in any aspect of life, insults, injury, loss of health etc will never help any relationship continue or last.

6. Partnerships – When we want to build a relationship with someone, the best way to do it is to obviously partner with that person in as many activities as possible. The more interested a person is the more activities that person will involve you in and try to do it with you. This type of partnership activities, be it spending a few hours in the evening, or a few minutes on phone, or an association of months or years are a foolproof way to show you are interested. Conversely a person who doesn't partner with you in anything is extremely unlikely to ever have any sort of relationship with you. Partnership in activities is the only way to show and know that you are interested or the other person is interested respectively. After all chasing the moon, stars and rainbow are activities of people who don’t realize its out of their reach. Sensible people are busy with what their eyes see, hands feel, ears listen, tongue tastes and thinking perceives as appropriate.

7. Positioning attitudes- As a tree bends with the winds to prevent from cracking, we all have to be flexible with our attitudes towards each other. Being too rigid about our protocol on how relationships should run irrespective of the reality and circumstances of the person we are having a relationship with is naturally going to break relationships. After all a doctor who heals and prevents all illnesses is better than a doctor who abuses his patients for falling ill but never does anything for them. Eg: You get bed and good food in a hotel as well as at your home. A hotel will provide food only on payment of money, but family will provide it whenever your hungry. Hence hotels can never expect the same emotions as family can, and this is as natural as it should be. Hence be careful what you want from a relationship. Whether you want to be treated as a hotel or family is entirely how you play yourself with others. After all only families can expect loyalty not hotels.

8. Politeness- In any relationship, many years down the line, what our long term memory retains is how comfortable we were in that relationship. Even if we profit from a particular relationship, the fact that it shook us mentally and emotionally will never allow us to go back or retain that relationship. Life is short and the only thing that matters is to spend it comfortably. Not destroy our peace for some benefit that destroys our peace of mind.

9. Personation- While sending a representative of your organization for a client meeting may work in business, you cant really send a representative to meet you wife or kids at home. In personal relationship, lack of your physical presence obviously means that you don’t have time for them. In any relationship, individuality matters a lot. Just imagine, if all actors acted exactly the same in movies, why would you prefer any particular one over the other as your favourite? The nuances and differences in our personalities are what makes us all unique. We are not robots from a particular brand to behave exactly the same way. If a person in a relationship doesn't sense your individuality you are wasting their time by trying to have a relationship with them, especially a personal one.

10. Positive reinforcement- When we get into a relationship, it is important that we feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. If you feel like a shoplifter entering a shop, you will not feel good about that relationship. When a shopkeeper welcomes us, shows us his products, tells us their details and provides all the explanations on how we will be well off with the product, provides his guarantee for it, confirms its essence, many people buy it even if they don’t compulsively need it. It’s the same in relationships. On the same side if a shopkeeper is arrogant, avoidant, abusive, insulting etc you are very unlikely to buy anything in that shop because you are not sure that the shopkeeper means any good and will be happy with the shopkeeper s product. The experience of buying is as important as the product we buy. Nobody is happy about something they got when they weren't treated the right way or is interested in retaining it when they don’t get good service for it.

11. Persistence on all Ps – Obviously when we want relationships to last, we need to be persistent on all the above P's. Otherwise it wont take long for a relationship to be counted in “once upon a time”!! A simple conversation even if for a few minutes every now and then when you need it may make it seem that you are still there for a person. Without even that people may even find it hard to remember that they even had something to do with you sometime before keeping in mind the the numerous activities we involve daily to maintain our lifestyles.

“KNOWING IS DOING AND NOT KNOWING IS UNDOING EVEN IF DOING!”

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How To Win Over New Relationships

Shannon L. Alder once said,  Sensitive people usually love deeply & hate deeply. They don't know any other way to live than by extremes because their emotional thermostat is broken. 

Sometimes certain thoughts & habits become so addictive at times that even while being aware of its futility the person fails to resist from indulging in it. Obsessive Compulsive Disorders can be extremely debilitating & can easily thwart subjective well-being. The main features of this illness are obsessions and compulsions.

Obsessions are certain thoughts, doubts, images or urges that occur in one's mind. These are unwanted, repetitive by nature. Most people with OCD realize that obsessions are senseless, irrational, or excessive, but they are unable to ignore or suppress them. They would attempt to resist and control them, but would not succeed. Obsessions cause significant distress and anxiety to the sufferers and as a result cause interference in their day to day functioning.

Compulsions are repetitive acts that the person is driven to carry out in spite of knowing that they are meaningless, unnecessary or excessive. Compulsions are usually in response to obsessions. For example, a person with an obsessive fear of contamination washes hands repeatedly in order to ensure that his or her hands are clean. The person attempts to resist repeated hand-washing, but gives in to the urge so as to relieve him or herself of the anxiety or discomfort. Persons with OCD often perform certain acts repeatedly to avoid some dreaded event or to prevent or undo some harm to themselves or others. For instance, touching the floor even number of times to prevent an accident.

They are aware most of the time that the activity is not connected in a logical or realistic way with what was intended to be achieved, or that it may be clearly excessive (as in the case of hand-washing compulsions), but cannot control them as they reduce anxiety, at least transiently.

Common Symptoms in OCD:

Some common obsessions-

- Fear of getting dirty, contaminated or infected by persons or things in the environment.

- Blasphemous thoughts.

- Thoughts of harming or killing others or oneself.

- Doubts that a task or assignment has been done poorly or incorrectly.

- Recurring thoughts or images of sexual nature.

- Fear of blurting out obscenities.

- Fear of developing a serious life-threatening illness.

- Preoccupation to have objects arranged in a certain order or position.

Some common compulsions:

- Repeated hand-washing, taking unusually long time to bathe, or cleaning items in the house.

- Ordering or rearranging things in a certain manner.

- Checking locks, electrical outlets, gas knobs, light switches etc. repeatedly.

- Repeatedly putting clothes on, and then taking them off.

- Counting over and over to a certain number.

- Touching certain objects in a specific way.

- Repeating certain actions, such as going through a doorway.

- Constantly seeking approval (especially children)

What are not obsessions?

The common usage of the word obsession as in,  he is obsessed with music  is not an obsession as used in the context of OCD. Here the person indulges in the activity with complete will, has control over them and derives pleasure out of the activity.

When one is fired from a job or loses someone close to them, it is natural to brood over the event. However, these thoughts are not considered as senseless or irrational, though they may cause some discomfort. Similarly, a person appearing for an examination may feel anxious and worry about the results, which could occupy considerable amount of his time. These thoughts, though unwelcome, are under his control and not experienced as senseless. The above experiences are obviously not obsessions. The common usage of the word obsession as in,  he is obsessed with music  is not obsession as used in the context of OCD. Here the person indulges in the activity with complete will, has control over them and derives pleasure out of the activity.

Treatment:

Your clinical psychologist might subject you to anyone from a variety of treatment strategy available based on the severity of the condition and course of illness. Client specific psychological treatment is recommended according to unique triggers and patterns of obsessions/compulsions.

Cognitive Behavioral therapy comprises of a variety of techniques used to modify or replace maladaptive thoughts, emotions and behaviors with more adaptive forms of the same. Obsessions and compulsions seen in OCD are examples of maladaptive behaviors as they cause significant distress and interfere with normal functioning of an individual. Behavior therapy helps to remove obsessions and compulsions and thereby ameliorate the distress.

In treating OCD several CBT techniques are used. One of them,  Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) , is the most effective and widely used technique.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) - All You Should Know!

Unlike what you may think, anxiety is a common emotional response in a situation where we are worried about an outcome. It is, in fact, beneficial to us as it keeps us alert and charged for a reaction. Anxiety disorder, however, comes when you lose control over your reaction and let it take control of your life in a way that disables you from living a normal life. 
The first thing to do as a positive step is to accept that you have a disorder. Mental health problems are as big as physical problems. Just like the body needs to be treated to cure a disease, the mind too can be treated to cure you of your problems. The next thing to do is to know what type of disorder you are suffering from to get specific treatment for it.

Connection between anxiety and depression:
Anxiety is not just incessant worrying. It is sometimes an obsessive compulsive disorder that can takeover your life or a terrifying phobia that can prevent you from doing things that are routine for others. Over a period of time, living with such a disorder can take an emotional toll leading to depression. 
The chances of developing depression in addition to anxiety is quite high. In fact, almost half of all people with major depression also suffer from severe and persistent anxiety. In many cases people suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and anxiety are also victims of depression.

Symptoms of anxiety and depression disorder
Constant fear and worry
Loss of interest in normal life, hobbies and activities
Insomnia and fatigue with inability to relax
Panic attacks
Feeling of sadness and worthlessness

Coping with anxiety and depression disorder
The first and most important thing to know is that both conditions are treatable and patients who get regular care, medication and support from friends and family can come back to living a normal life. Here are some of the treatments available:

1. Medication: Taking proper medication is very important as it acts quickly and is quite safe. Most people do not take medication, such as sleeping pills, fearing they might get addicted to them, which is a myth. Also, medications prescribed by your doctor are safe and specific that is why they have been prescribed.

2. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): It is used to first figure out what the cause behind the anxiety or depression. It is then used to teach people to manage their fears, anxieties, and depressive symptoms and also learn how to take control of their emotions. Another therapy used for treating depression is Emotive Behaviour therapy.

3. Lifestyle modification: In order to overcome, anxiety and depression, certain lifestyle changes are required, such as one should exercise daily at least for 30 minutes and eat a healthy diet.

4. Counselling: Counselling helps the person to overcome the oppressive thoughts and cope up with the feeling of worthlessness.

5. Group therapy: Knowing you are not alone with your pains and fears can often come as a big relief. Not only will the patient benefit from joining a local support group, the care giver will also learn how to cope with the developments of the disorder and how they can continue to provide care and support to their loved ones.

How to Cope with Anxiety and Depression Disorder

Are you prone to slipped disc problem? + the ideal way to treat it

A slipped disc, also known as a prolapsed disc or herniated disc, is the term given to the phenomenon that occurs when a cartilaginous disc found between the vertebrae in the spine becomes slightly displaced or protrudes, thereby pressing on the nerves in the adjacent areas and causing back pain.
This happens when the soft inner part of the disc, known as nucleus pulposus, bulges out through a weakness in the exterior part of the disc. A prolapsed disc usually occurs in the lower region of the spine and can be of varying sizes. There might even be the development of inflammation around the disc in some cases.

Who is likely to get affected?
Most cases of herniated disc occur in patients between the ages of 30 and 50. The number of men affected is twice as many as the number of women.
Although the root cause of this problem is not yet known, there are a number of factors that may trigger it. These factors include working at a job that requires a lot of lifting, an occupation that involves remaining in a seated position for a long time, weight-bearing sports, obesity, smoking habits and increasing age.

Effective ways of treating the problem
The different methods that are commonly used to treat the problem are:
Medications
There are many different kinds of medicines that are effective in providing relief. These include painkillers, muscles relaxants, anti-inflammatory pills, etc.

Spinal injections
A number of spinal injections are used to treat slipped discs. The injection is done at the opening where the inflamed nerve roots are found and reduces pain, swelling and irritation in the area.

Radiofrequency ablation
This procedure makes use of an electrical current produced by radio waves to reduced pain and sensitivity in the affected area.

Ozone discectomy
As opposed to the surgical removal of the prolapsed disc, this new process makes use of an ozone-oxygen mixture that is injected into the spine to treat the problem. Many international studies have proved its superiority to traditional methods and surgeries.

Those affected by this problem are advised to keep exercising and continuing with their everyday activities as best as possible.



Why You Can Get a Slipped Disc Problem?

The Mind of a Smoker 

There are a few instances when our body and mind refuse to acknowledge rationality, and quickly give in to carvings. Alcohol abuse, junk foods, depressant medications are a few of them. Among these, the most harmful is undoubtedly, smoking. In today's time, almost everyone knows about the ill-effects of tobacco. But despite our knowledge, we continue to give in and smoke. Let us have a look in depth about the usage, and the various steps one can use to come out of this dangerous habit. 

Ill-Effects of Smoking 

Smoking is dangerous for your health, and quitting can vastly reduce your risk of getting a disease related to the heart or lung. There is also a 50% chance that your life expectancy will be less due to smoking. On an average, a smoker has 10 - 12 years of lesser life expectancy than that of the nonsmoker. Also, quitting tobacco products can greatly reduce your chances of getting cancer. A smoker is always in the higher risk group of getting a tumor in the voice box (larynx), mouth, throat, intestines, kidney, and pancreas. Smoking can also hamper your sexual urge and erectile strength. Pregnant women who smoke carry a greater risk of having babies with many complications. 

How to Curb Smoking 

Quit smoking, and you can see visible differences right away. Your breathing will improve, and your asthma symptoms will likely to get better once you quit. Apart from a healthier you, you can also avoid health complications for your family members. Passive smoking is as harmful as active smoking, and a passive smoker is also easily susceptible to the complications of that of a smoker. Do not opt for lighter nicotine content cigarettes, as they have advertised that they contain less tar and nicotine. They simply do not, and they are equally harmful to you. Once the decision has been made, quit it altogether. Also stay away from chewing tobacco products. There are many ways by which you can quit smoking. Consult with your doctor in case you need medications for staying away. 

There are safe non-nicotine gums and chewing tablets for curbing the smoking feel and sensation. There are also self-help groups and treatment centers that can rehabilitate you from your habits. Indulge yourself in activities that keep you happy and passionate. Try signing up for your favorite sports and keep yourself occupied at all times. Always be positive, and do not give into temptation. Believe in yourself and always remember that you are also spoiling the health and wealth of your near and dear ones. Your children follow you, and they can easily be misguided. Be a role model to them and quit smoking, and inculcate the healthy habit now and forever.

Strategies and Medications to Stop Smoking, and Benefits of Stopping Tobacco Use!

Do people really suffer from mood disorders?

Mood disorders are common psychological problems that affect a vast portion of the human populace all over the world every year. These occur when there is a shift or imbalance in a person's psyche which affects his or her daily function and interpersonal relations in varying degrees. Each individual is affected by these conditions in a different capacity and responds to them in a distinct manner.

Mood disorders generally manifest themselves as fluctuations in a person's temperament. It is triggered by various factors. These mental illnesses range from mild to severe, the latter requiring urgent psychological counseling and treatment. A mild condition may even develop into a painful and chronic one without any form of remedial intervention.

What are the most common types of mood disorders?

There are many distinctive categories of mood disorders that can affect a person. The most commonly occurring ones are as follows:

- major depressive disorder

- bipolar disorder

- dysthymia

- cyclothymia

- seasonal affective disorder (sad)

Major depression is the most frequently occurring type of mood disorder. It causes mental and emotional turmoil, as well as physical anguish. Those affected by it may experience a single episode in isolation or multiple episodes over a period of time. The milder version of this condition is known as dysthymia.

Bipolar disorder is a comparatively rare condition that causes alternating states of extreme mania and depression. It is also known as manic-depressive illness. The mild version of this is called cyclothymia.

Seasonal affective disorder or sad is a depressive disorder that is known to affect those living in colder climes. It is caused generally by the lack of warmth and light, the onset of which begins in late autumn and lasts till the end of winter.

What causes a mood disorder?

Mood disorders are very difficult to diagnose as they can be caused by an assortment of triggers and the symptoms are not always apparent. This is particularly true in the case of dysthymia and cyclothymia.

Some of the usual factors that lead to mood disorders are:

- chronic stress and anxiety

- anomalies in the functioning of the nervous system

- prolonged periods of isolation

- genetics

- childhood abuse and trauma

- ineffectual coping mechanisms

- insufficient nourishment/malnutrition

In most cases, a combination of multiple factors usually leads to the development of mood disorders and other mental illnesses.

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Related Tip: 5 Mood Uplifting Foods You Must Keep Handy

Do People Really Suffer from Mood Disorders?

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