Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

Dementia is the declining condition of the brain to function that interferes with daily life. It is not a disease but rather various symptoms. In such a condition, the communicative skills, as well as cognitive functions of the patient, compromised. Dementia is knowns to affect the functioning of memory, visual perception, and attention. These symptoms often cause disorientation, impaired judgment, and depression.

Speech therapy in Dementia is a way in which a speech-language pathologist can help the patients in maintaining a certain level of independence in themselves. Speech therapy helps in stimulating the cognitive abilities of the patient by engaging and practicing certain activities.

There are certain ways in which the cognitive functioning of the brain can be stimulated:

Spaced Retrieval errorless learning

Memory books and other Memory Aids

The speech therapists determine the changes in how a person is eating, swallowing, and drinking. The changes, if directed towards the improper cognitive abilities, are managed by certain strategies.

Other than normal activities, the person with Dementia also faces difficulty in communication aspects. It can either be verbal or non-verbal or both which includes gesturing, speaking, writing, and reading. The major areas that get affected by Dementia include social interaction, behavioral self-regulation, academic performance, as well as vocational performance.

It can get difficult to communicate with the person showing symptoms of Dementia. Hence, there are certain ways to help such situations.

Speaking Way

Speak calmly and clearly

Speak at a slower pace, so that the person processes the information and respond accordingly

Avoid speaking in sharp or loud voices

It is advisable to use simple and short sentences

Try speaking in a humorous way

You can also try to indulge them in conversations with others

Include them in a social group. Doing this can help in maintaining a sense of identity for the person with Dementia

Apart from this, speech therapists suggest that there are certain things you can talk about with the person of Dementia.

Whatever you are saying, say in a positive way

Try and avoid the direct questions

If you re asking questions, ask one at a time and try framing them in  yes  or  no  category

Try another way if the person cannot understand too complicated information. Don t repeat the same sentences.

Try to break down too much information in simpler explanations and sentences

A person with Dementia may have difficulty in determining particular information to be true or false. In such a case, try not to contradict them directly rather try to steer the conversation around the topic.

Take Away
A person showing symptoms of Dementia may have difficulty in carrying out simpler tasks of everyday life. Moreover, the patient may show certain behavioral, social, and physical imbalance. Such imbalance is caused by the declining cognitive abilities of the person. A speech therapist can help to overcome these disabilities through persistent training and practice.

Dementia - Know Speech Therapy For It!

Saif and Kareena show you how to bridge the age gap perfectly in relationships

There?s a lot to learn from the love story of the 10th nawab of Pataudi, Saif Ali Khan, and the Bollywood actress, Kareena Kapoor. Despite the 13 year age gap between them, the two have a very strong and mature relationship. So what keeps the two sticking together through thick and thin? here?s how saif and Kareena have bridged the age gap to emerge as a powerful couple.

1. They know that age is just a number

For saif and kareena the 13-year difference is not an issue. They know that what matters, in the end, is not how old you are but the kind of personality you have. Both saif and kareena have a mature personality, and they gel perfectly well with each other. This is the reason why they are able to connect and maintain a strong and healthy relationship.

2. They care about each other?s family

Kareena has a very strong relationship with Sharmila Tagore, Saif?s mother. Not only that, Kareena has also made sure she is on good terms with saif?s children from his previous marriage as well. Accepting each other?s family and past is a very important step in making a relationship work. Not only that, their families act as a support group for them, which helps them going on despite the difference of years between them.

3. They share common interests

Another thing that makes their relationship work is the fact that they share several common interests, which help them in coming closer and making their bond stronger. Saif and Kareena often go on trips together, attend cricket matches together and make it a point to go out for regular romantic dinner dates.

4. They respect each others? views 

Nothing could be more important in a relationship than respecting each other?s decisions. The pataudi family tradition had women changing to Islam after marriage, with even Sharmila Tagore converting after her marriage. However, Kareena did not want to, and Saif fully supported her decision. Even their marriage ceremony was a mishmash of their differing religions. So, if you want your relationship to work, be very open and accepting of each other?s differences and views.


If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.


Saif and Kareena Show How to Bridge the Age Gap Perfectly in Relationships

For years I have been practicing as a psychotherapist in different parts of the world and what I have noticed is that no matter what kind of relationship or marriage a couple are in, when they end up in my office it's always for the same reason: they want to be happier, healthier and more-connected even though the issues can vary - money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc.

Despite this each relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

If you are struggling in your relationship (and if you are reading this article there is a big chance you are unless you are one of my friends..or both) you might find it helpful to follow some of these ideas:

1. Love yourself

You must love yourself before you can love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortcomings.

2. Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise... just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things repeatedly.

3. Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without any regard for others. It is what makes compromise in a relationship possible. If I realize that something I've done has hurt you (because I can empathize with your pain or unhappiness) I will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected.). And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way.

Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship. In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Given this definition, the act of loving someone and allowing them to love you may be the ultimate risk. Love is uncertain. It's risky because there are no guarantees and your partner could stop loving you. Exposing your true feelings may mean that you are at a greater risk for being hurt or criticized.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love.

Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Dr Perel, in her popular TED talk explains that neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships - which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability - damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

If after trying the above you are still struggling with your relationship, make sure you go and see a couple therapist.

Two couples talking in one couple's living room...

One says to the other, 'The work being done on your marriage.. are you having it done or are you doing it yourselves?'



8 Tips To Rev Up Your Relationship With Your Partner

If you're suffering from weak memory or memory loss, Ayurveda might be able to solve your problems. Ayurveda uses natural remedies to cure many diseases, and even though forgetting where you put your glasses or cell phones may not sound discrete enough, it may be early signs of dementia. Before it escalates to that level, here are 5 foods that you may try to curb it as the first signs appear.
1. Almonds are the most effective food items to increase your brain power and cure amnesia. They are a rich source of Omega-3 fatty acids and antioxidants that hike up your mental prowess. It is best to have them early in the morning, grinded and mixed with milk and sugar (or a healthier supplement being honey), or otherwise, after being soaked overnight in water.
2. Ayurvedic herbs, like rosemary, brahmi, ashwagandha, shankhapushpi, licorice plant, etc., are all known to have medicinal properties that improve your brain power. Regulated incorporation of these herbs in your diet in requisite amount relaxes your mind, and thereby improves its functioning capacity.
3. Indian Gooseberry or amla, is rich in Vitamin C, as well as antioxidants, which helps boost immunity, but other than that, amla is also known to have properties to strengthen your nervous system. It is one of the best remedies for managing Alzheimer's disease. It can be consumed raw or dried, and at times along with white sesame seeds.
4. Fish oil is an excellent way to enhance your memory, especially if you are a non-vegetarian. It contains rich quantities of Omega-3 fatty acids, which help rejuvenate your brain cells. But if you are a vegetarian or vegan, fish oil or even fishes like salmon, might not be best suited to your dietary preference, in which case it may be more helpful to consume Omega-3 supplements which are readily available in the market, or even fenugreek seeds.
5. Cinnamon helps in revitalizing your mental health, when consumed, or even when smelled. Add a pinch of cinnamon to your food, or mix a teaspoon with honey, and it will work wonders for your mental health.

5 Ayurvedic Tips To Improve Memory Power - Boost Your Mind Power

Asperger's syndrome has recently come under the umbrella of autism spectrum disorder. This syndrome usually affects the social skills of the patient, most heavily. The patient may seem normal and even intelligent at first glance. But on closer interaction, several social skill problems will come to the fore including an obsessive focus on certain topics and issues. Repetitive behaviour is also a part of this disease. Let us find out more about asperger's syndrome.

Symptoms: the symptoms usually begin to show up early on in one's childhood. The patient will not be able to make eye contact while speaking with others. Also, a perfectly normal person may seem inordinately shy and reserved during social interactions. This awkwardness may come to the fore in the form of looking for expression cues on other people's faces and even the body language. The patient may not be a very happy and lively soul, with hardly a smile to crack at the funniest of jokes. The lack of emotions or the emotionally numb state is also a major giveaway of the condition. Other symptoms may include a strong aversion towards change in food habits and routine.

Diagnosis: the diagnosis is usually done by mental health specialists like a developmental paediatrician, a psychiatrist, a psychologist or even a paediatric neurologist. These specialists can put the child through a variety of tests that will study the neurological health as well as the speech and emotional behaviour of the child.

Educating the parent: once the diagnosis has been done, the parents of the patient will have to appraised of the condition and its implications. The symptoms and treatment will have to be duly discussed even as the parents are put through training and therapy to learn techniques with which they can help the child in progressing along more normal lines. The therapy will also help the parents deal with the challenge of living with someone suffering from this condition.

Treatment: there are varied forms of treatment that aim at fixing the specific areas and symptoms that the patient is learning to live with. Social skills training, speech and language therapy, cbt or cognitive behavioural therapy and other forms of treatment can help the child overcome many symptoms that come from this condition.

In the course of the treatment, it is important for the child, parent and therapist concerned to realise that there is no single approach that can be applied to all patients suffering from asperger's syndrome. Individual care and therapy will be required for individual cases. At the same time, most of the skills will need to be repeated at home so that the child takes them more seriously.

What Is Asperger's Syndrome?

Don't wait any longer, manage your Neuropsychiatrist online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Neuropsychiatrist - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES