If someone in your family or your partner is suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, your mental health is at stake too. You will have to take care of yourself and your emotional needs first. Life can be frustrating for you all the time. But, you need to identify your  feel good  activities and take some time out of your daily life to relax and calm down. Remember, you can succeed in the critical task of appeasing or pleasing your dear one with BPD, only when you are at peace with yourself first. Destress yourself to fight back the depression or emotional drainage caused by handling a BPD patient.

Here are few things that can help you have a better life while being in a relationship with a person suffering from BPD:

1. Don t isolate yourself: You must be in touch with people you like to be with. You need emotional support from friends and family to deal with life. Spending some quality time with friends and family members can add little happiness to your life. It will boost up your energy level to fight back the dark side of life. You must remember that you have a life as well.

2. Take care of your health: Sometimes, relatives of BPD patients forget to take care of their physical health. They forget basic stuffs like having proper meals, exercising, etc just because they are caught-up in a stressful relationship. But, remember you can help your loved one better only when you are physically fit.

3. Manage stress: Don t get anxious or depressed with the ongoing stress in your life. It will only add to your existing problems. Keep your nerves cool to have a better life for yourself as well as your sweetheart with BPD.

4. Believe in the 3c s formula: Well, it is a formula recommended by most of the mental health practitioners. Don t blame yourself for the irrational behaviour of your friend or dear one. The patient with BPD is solely responsible for his or her destructive behaviour or abnormal outburst. You will have to remember these 3c s: I didn't cause it; I can't cure it; and I can't control it.

5. Careful communication: You have to be very careful while communicating with BPD patients. Don t argue or try to convince them, when they are already in a disturbed frame of mind or agitated. They might end up getting destructive. Listen to their words carefully and patiently. Occasional nodding in between a conversation is advisable to let them feel assured about the fact that they are being heard and understood.

Don t forget to acknowledge their feelings. It is also important that you stay calm when the patient is angry and has turned destructive.

How to Deal with a Person Suffering from Borderline Personality?

Drug abuse or addiction is not a sign of weakness or a character flaw, but it takes a lot more than willpower to overcome the problem. Abuse of illegal or certain prescribed drugs can trigger alterations in the brain   alterations that may lead to strong cravings and an impulse to use that makes sobriety seem like an unachievable goal. However, there is good news   no matter how hopeless the situation may seem, or how many times you have tried to break free and failed, with support and appropriate approach, the cure is possible. The most difficult choice for many to make when trying to overcome drug abuse is recognizing the problem and deciding on whether to make a change. It is natural to feel unsure about whether you are ready to start recovery. You might be concerned about how you are going to survive without OD ing on certain drugs. Well, Psychological Rehabilitation can help you overcome the crises. 

Rehab Psychology to Break Free from Drug Abuse Committing to sobriety involves altering a few things   

 How you cope with stress 

 Who you allow in your life 

 How you utilize your leisure time 

 How you perceive yourself 

Psychological rehabilitation takes into account the above points and uses the following techniques to overcome drug abuse include   

 Cognitive Behavioural Therapy   a psychologist helps the patient recognize the factors that are triggering for her/his craving for drugs, and manage or avoid those triggers. CBT also helps the person steer away from destructive behaviours and thoughts. 

 Motivational Interviewing   this involves a structured conversation between the psychologist and the patient. Through such conversations and motivational interviewing, the therapy aims to increase the patient s motivation to overpower drug abuse. For example   the therapist will help them identify the difference between how they are living in present and how they want to live in the future. 

 Participation in Activities   Psychological rehabilitation suggests that being immersed in a group activity can keep you distracted. Therefore, participate in an engaging task and see may witness the urge slowly fade away. 

Behavioural treatment in Rehabilitation Psychology can be particularly effective when combined with conventional medical treatment   it imitates the effects of specific drugs in a controlled way or reduces the  high  the person enjoys after doing drugs. Besides, you can always talk to a relative, a friend or a trusted family member to reach out for help and comfort. 

How Rehabilitation Psychology Can Help To Overcome Drug Abuse?

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. A person s mood and emotions can be altered drastically due to bipolar disorder, but they do not have more than one personality. Split personalities problem is more commonly seen in those with personality/dissociative disorders. 

There are four basic types of bipolar disorder; all of them involve clear changes in mood, energy, and activity levels. These moods range from periods of extremely  up,  elated, and energized behavior (known as manic episodes) to very sad,  down,  or hopeless periods (known as depressive episodes). Less severe manic periods are known as hypomanic episodes.

Bipolar I Disorder  defined by manic episodes that last at least 7 days, or by manic symptoms that are so severe that the person needs immediate hospital care. Usually, depressive episodes occur as well, typically lasting at least 2 weeks. Episodes of depression with mixed features (having depression and manic symptoms at the same time) are also possible.
Bipolar II Disorder  defined by a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes, but not the full-blown manic episodes described above.
Cyclothymic Disorder (also called cyclothymia)  defined by numerous periods of hypomanic symptoms as well numerous periods of depressive symptoms lasting for at least 2 years (1 year in children and adolescents). However, the symptoms do not meet the diagnostic requirements for a hypomanic episode and a depressive episode.
Other Specified and Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorders  defined by bipolar disorder symptoms that do not match the three categories listed above.
The disorder has two strong phases: 1) Bipolar Mania and 2) Depression.

Mania-

Mania is a state of heightened energy and euphoria - an elevation of mood. It is in direct contrast to depression. Mania can vary in severity from hypomania, where, in addition to mood and energy elevation, the person shows mild impairment of judgement and insight, to severe mania with delusions and a level of manic excitement that can be so exhausting that hospitalisation is required to control the episode.

The mood, energy and other related symptoms define both mania and hypomania, with psychotic features being an 'add on' component experienced by a sub-set of individuals. 

You have an intense sense of well-being, energy and optimism. It can be so strong that it affects your thinking and judgement. You may believe strange things about yourself, make bad decisions, and behave in embarrassing, harmful and - occasionally - dangerous ways.
 
Like depression, it can make it difficult or impossible to deal with day-to-day life. Mania can badly affect both your relationships and your work. When it isn't so extreme, it is called 'hypomania'.
 
If you become manic, you may notice that you are:

Emotional:

very happy and excited
irritated with other people who don't share your optimistic outlook
feeling more important than usual. 
Thinking:

full of new and exciting ideas
moving quickly from one idea to another
hearing voices that other people can't hear.
Physical:

full of energy
unable or unwilling to sleep
more interested in sex.  
Behaviour:

making plans that are grandiose and unrealistic
very active, moving around very quickly
behaving unusually
talking very quickly - other people may find it hard to understand what you are talking about
making odd decisions on the spur of the moment, sometimes with disastrous consequences
recklessly spending your money
over-familiar or recklessly critical with other people
less inhibited in general.
If you are in the middle of a manic episode for the first time, you may not realise that there is anything wrong   although your friends, family or colleagues will. You may even feel annoyed if someone tries to point this out to you. You increasingly lose touch with day-to-day issues   and with other people's feelings. 

Depression- 

The feeling of depression is something we all experience from time to time. It can even help us to recognise and deal with problems in our lives. In clinical depression or bipolar disorder, the feeling of depression is much worse. It goes on for longer and makes it difficult or impossible to deal with the normal things of life. If you become depressed, you will notice some of these changes:

Emotional:

feelings of unhappiness that don't go away
feeling that you want to burst into tears for no reason
losing interest in things
being unable to enjoy things
feeling restless and agitated
losing self-confidence
feeling useless, inadequate and hopeless
feeling more irritable than usual
thinking of suicide.  
Thinking:

can t think positively or hopefully
finding it hard to make even simple decisions
difficulty in concentrating. 
Physical:

losing appetite and weight
difficulty in getting to sleep
waking earlier than usual
feeling utterly tired
constipation
going off sex. 
Behaviour:

difficulty in starting or completing things   even everyday chores
crying a lot   or feeling like you want to cry, but not being able to
avoiding contact with other people.
Causes:

Biological Causes: Experts say that patients with bipolar disorder often show physical changes in their brains. Nobody is sure why the changes lead to the disorder.
Genetic Traits: Researchers are involved in finding out whether or not the causes of bipolar disorder arise out of genes and other hereditary factors. If you have a first-degree relative or a sibling who is/was affected by this condition, you would probably have it too.
Neurotransmitters: Mood swing disorder is caused by an imbalance in brain chemicals known as  neurotransmitters .
Treatment Methods:

Initial Treatment: The initial treatment method is to take medications to balance and control the mood swings. After the symptoms are in control, one has to start working with his/her trusted doctor for chalking out an effective and practical long-term treatment procedure.

Recovery from substance abuse: Problems related to excessive alcohol and drug abuse are solved by this therapy. Failing this step, this disorder can be unmanageable.

Day care treatment: Day care treatment programs can be recommended by your doctor. This treatment method includes counseling and support which keep the bipolar traits under control.

Hospitalization: Hospitalization or immediate medical support is recommended in case of suicidal thoughts or when a person starts exhibiting erratic behavior (being psychotic).

Medications: Medications include the administration of antipsychotics (such as ziprasidone, olanzapine), antidepressants (usually in combination with a mood stabilizer or an anti-psychotic), mood stabilizers (such as valproic acid, lithium, divalproex sodium) and anti-anxiety medications.

Bipolar Affective Disorder - Symptoms and Treatments

"Focussing only on sexual intimacy is unhelpful unless you have an emotional compatibility with your partner. This is because, good relationship and good sexual intimacy are very closely linked to each other. 
Here are three top tips to help improve couple compatibility. 

*Make time and Talk to Each Other: Share your day with your partner. Talk about the good things that happened, the challenges you faced and anything that strengthens the mental bond.

*Stop Criticizing: this is Something that couples desperately need to work upon. You don't have to be harsh while telling your complaints given the fact you'd have to wake up right next to your partner every day. Try converting your complaints into requests for change in them. 

*Help Each Other in Your work:
Just extend your helping hand to help your partner in the things that they do. Sometimes, saying ""I am here for you"" is good enough for the person."

Being Good in Bed takes much more than Knowing good Kamasutra Skills

For years I have been practicing as a psychotherapist in different parts of the world and what I have noticed is that no matter what kind of relationship or marriage a couple are in, when they end up in my office it's always for the same reason: they want to be happier, healthier and more-connected even though the issues can vary - money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc.

Despite this each relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

If you are struggling in your relationship (and if you are reading this article there is a big chance you are unless you are one of my friends..or both) you might find it helpful to follow some of these ideas:

1. Love yourself

You must love yourself before you can love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortcomings.

2. Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise... just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things repeatedly.

3. Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without any regard for others. It is what makes compromise in a relationship possible. If I realize that something I've done has hurt you (because I can empathize with your pain or unhappiness) I will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected.). And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way.

Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship. In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Given this definition, the act of loving someone and allowing them to love you may be the ultimate risk. Love is uncertain. It's risky because there are no guarantees and your partner could stop loving you. Exposing your true feelings may mean that you are at a greater risk for being hurt or criticized.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love.

Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Dr Perel, in her popular TED talk explains that neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships - which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability - damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

If after trying the above you are still struggling with your relationship, make sure you go and see a couple therapist.

Two couples talking in one couple's living room...

One says to the other, 'The work being done on your marriage.. are you having it done or are you doing it yourselves?'



8 Tips To Rev Up Your Relationship With Your Partner

Chronic health disorders like schizophrenia affect not only the patient, but also the life of their care givers. Though schizophrenia can be treated to improve the patient's quality of life, it cannot be cured. Hence, it falls on the care giver's shoulders to watch out for symptoms of this disease and manage the person and their disorder. What should one do in such a case?

1. Educate yourself: the first step towards looking after a person with schizophrenia is to know the symptoms of the disease. With treatment, these may become better or worse so if you notice any change in the symptoms, bring it to your doctors notice at once.

2. Reduce stress: your goal as a schizophrenic person's caregiver should be to give them a calm environment and boost their confidence. Stress has a negative effect on all people and in schizophrenics this effect is much worse. Hence reduce stress and create an effective support system and structured environment for your loved one.

3. Do not ask the patient to change'his reality: when a person is suffering from schizophrenia, you should not force them to change their behaviour and reality, in order to adjust in the society at large. You should rather support the patient to accept his reality, to be at peace, since there is a very strong genetic component involved in its aetiology. Also, it is important that, both the patient and the family in particular should opt for regular counselling sessions.

4. Regular exercise: schizophrenics need not be cooped up in the house all day. Encourage the patient to go outside and exercise regularly. Exercise reduces stress and produces endorphins that make a person feel energized and happy. This should be complemented by a healthy diet. Minimize the amount of carbs and sugar intake and increase the amounts of omega 3 fatty acids in the patient's diet.

5. Join a support group: joining a support group is a very good idea for both the patient and the caregiver. For the patient, this provides a form of social interaction and for the caregiver is a platform to meet people with similar first hand experiences

6. Encourage treatment: convincing a schizophrenic person to seek treatment can be quite challenging. Suggest treating symptoms of the disorder such as insomnia and lack of energy rather than the disease itself to make the patient feel more comfortable. Give the patient options to choose from to make them feel more in control of the situation.

7. Monitor medication: once the treatment has started, ensure that the patient sticks to the prescription. Maintain a regular schedule by using weekly pill boxes and alarms. Also keep an eye on the possible side effects of these medicines. Ensure that your doctor has a complete list of medicines that the patient takes so that there is no chance of medicines interacting negatively with each other.

8. Prepare for crisis situations: it is always a good idea to have an emergency plan in place. Keep emergency contact details of all the doctors and therapists at hand along with the address and phone number of the closest hospital. Share your situation with friends and family so that in case of an emergency, they can be relied upon to take care of your children and other dependants.

Living with Schizophrenia

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