MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND ARGUMENTS? CHANGE THEM INTO FLOWING CONVERSATION
Conflicts and misunderstandings occur at all levels of interaction – at work, among friends, within families and between relationship partners. When conflict occurs, the relationship may be weakened or strengthened. Thus, conflict is a critical event in the course of a relationship. Arguments  and misunderstandings  can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship. If it is handled well, however, it can be productive – leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness. The health of any relationship is gauged by how the conflicts are resolved, rather than the number of conflicts between the participants. 
Conflicts run all the way from minor, unimportant differences to disputes which can threaten the existence of a relationship. Conflicts with a loved one or a long-term friend are, of course, different from negotiating with someone who does not care about your needs, like a stranger or a salesperson. 

 Principles that underscores all successful conflict resolution. 
1. Both parties must view their conflict as a problem to be solved together so that both parties have the feeling of winning.
2. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible to both. 

We may get so caught up with our own immediate interests that we damage our relationships. If we disregard the position of the other person, if fear and power are used to win, or if we always have to get our own way, the other person will feel hurt and the relationship may be wounded. Similarly, if we always surrender just to avoid conflict, we give the message to the other person that it is acceptable to be bullied and our needs don’t matter. Our feeling of self-worth suffers, resentment surfaces, and we feel frustrated in the relationship. Instead, it is healthier if both parties can remain open, honest, assertive and respectful of the other position. Mutual trust and respect, as well as a positive, constructive attitude, are fundamental necessities in relationships that matter.

SOME EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES TO HOLD EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS:
1. INITIAL AGREEMENT: The other person may be very angry with you and may be having loads of evidence to prove himself right. At that time, instead of arguing your position, simply agree at that time because there will be a grain of truth if nothing else. This doesn’t mean that you are giving up your values and principles. Sometimes its important to diffuse the emotional charge before working out on the differences. Sometimes its ok to “lose” individually in order to “win” together in the end.
2. EMPATHY: Sometimes putting yourself  in the other persons shoes and seeing the problem from their perspective helps build bridges. You could say,” I feel that you must be very upset with me for behaving like that with you, I should have been more considerate”. Half the battle is won and the other participant feels validated and will be more willing to listen to your tale of woes more amicably.
3. ASK QUESTIONS: When you ask questions, it shows that you care and are interested to resolve the problem at hand. Please note that while asking questions, be watchful of your words and tone. Asking exploratory  questions about the other persons thoughts and feelings rather than probing and insulting questions can take you miles on the way to effective resolution. For eg. “Is there anything that you would like me to know about this problem”?
4. USING “I” STATEMENTS: Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings rather than blaming the other person for making you feel like that. This decreases the chance that the other person will become defensive. For example, “I feel pretty upset that this thing has come between us.” This statement is much more effective than saying, “You have made me feel very upset.” 
5. COMPLIMENTS: Find something nice and genuine to say about the other person, even if the other is angry with you. Show a respectful attitude. For example, “I genuinely respect you for having the courage to bring this problem to me. I admire your strength and your caring attitude.” 

A RATIONAL APPROACH TO RESOLVING CONFLICTS:
Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. 
1. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have caused the disagreement. It is important to listen actively to what the other is saying, use “I” statements and avoid blame. 
2. Come Up With Several Possible Solutions. This is the brainstorming phase. Drawing on the points that you both agree on and your shared goals, generate a list of as many ideas as you can for solving the problem, regardless of how feasible they might be. Aim toward quantity of ideas rather than quality during this phase, and let creativity be your guide.
3. Evaluate These Alternative Solutions. Now go through the list of alternative solutions to the problem, one by one. Consider the pros and cons of the remaining solutions until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways of handling the problem. It is important for each person to be honest in this phase. The solutions might not be ideal for either person and may involve compromise. 
4. Decide on the Best Solution. Select the solution that seems mutually acceptable, even if it is not perfect for either party. As long as it seems fair and there is a mutual commitment to work with the decision, the conflict has a chance for resolution. 
5. Implement the Solution. It is important to agree on the details of what each party must do, who is responsible for implementing various parts of the agreement, and what to do in case the agreement starts to break down. 
6. Continue to Evaluate the Solution. Conflict resolutions should be seen as works in progress. Make it a point to ask the other person from time to time how things are going. Something unexpected might have come up or some aspect of the problem may have been overlooked. Your decisions should be seen as open to revision, as long as the revisions are agreed upon mutually. 

Keep in mind that differences will come up in any relationship just because you two are different individuals with different perspectives, ideologies, attitudes and perceptions. Too much similarity in personality and working styles may be comforting but can be very boring and uninspiring overtime. On the other hand, differences can bring change, novelty and an added spice to the relationship. Two very different people can pool their different strengths and work together as a stronger team. Though, extreme differences may overtime sour the relationship and make living or working together difficult. You also need to look out for an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, which is based on power differential rather than respect and trust. A person may then choose to opt out after an amicable “goodbye” or "agree to disagree".























Having a healthy brain is equally important as is staying physically fit. Good mental health is absolutely essential. Apart from regular exercises there are certain foods also which can help you to maintain good mental health. Below mentioned are few foods, essential for having a healthy brain-

Include fish in your diet- if you are a non- vegetarian then include oily fishes like salmon, sardines in your diet. These fishes are replete with omega -3 fatty acids, dha and epa. All these are essential for the brain to function efficiently.
Munch on nuts- nuts are rich sources of vitamin e. Vitamin e can help you prevent your brain from alzheimer's disease. Nuts are also beneficial for elderly people and can help them combat the problem of memory loss.
Keep preparations with green leafy vegetables on your menu- vegetables like cabbage; broccoli is abundant in anti-oxidants. Broccoli is also a good supplement for vitamin k. These help to develop your memory and also keep brain diseases like alzheimer's, dementia at bay.
Have a sweet tooth for blueberries- this fruit is rich in anti oxidants, vitamin c and k. It helps to deal with problems like memory loss, alzheimer's and dementia.
Add eggs to your breakfast menu- eggs are rich in choline and also protein. It acts as a very good food for developing a healthy brain.
Get addicted to avocadoes- avocadoes help to tackle problems like hypertension, blood pressure and also help in smooth flowing of blood. They also contain vitamin k and c which help in memory development.
Go for whole grains- whole grains like wheat flour, flour, oatmeal provide energy to your brain. They supply glucose and are thus considered to be very good brain foods.
The above mentioned foods are easily available and can help you to develop a healthy brain.


Foods for a Healthy Brain

Conventional medicine treats pain with the help of medications; by either blocking the transmission of pain signals in the body or by correcting the underlying problems caused by the pain in the first place. However, traditional and alternative forms of medicine such as acupuncture manage pain issues within the body through the means of redirecting disrupted energy flows. One of the very few forms of alternative treatments used in conjunction with conventional treatments, acupuncture is seen as a mercurial rise in popularity in the past few decades.


What is acupuncture?
Acupuncture dates back to ancient China, about 2500 years ago. It has been widely practiced there for a number of millennia, not only pain relief, but also for treating many ailments. Acupuncture isn t just considered a form of therapy, but a holistic form of medicine. Acupuncture works on the principle of the flow of energy within the body, also known as  Qi , in traditional Chinese medicine. Acupuncture strives to correct the disruptions in  Qi  that may cause pain by manipulating over 2000 of the specific pressure points within the body with the help of specially created needles.


Where is acupuncture effective?
Acupuncture is very effective in treating a host of ailments, especially in relieving the associated pain. Some of the areas where acupuncture has proven its effectiveness are:
1. Treating nausea and vomiting caused due to chemotherapy treatment for cancer patients
2.  Very useful in treating post-operative pain caused due to dental procedures
3.  Rehabilitating patients who have suffered strokes
4.  Fibromyalgia (musculo-skeletal pain with fatigue accompanied by sleep and memory issues) 
5.  Effective in combating withdrawal symptoms caused due to addiction
6.  Pain from menstrual cramps
7.  Tennis elbow
8.  Osteoarthritis (a type of arthritis caused due to the erosion of tissues present at the ends of one s bones)
9.  Pain of the lower vertebrae within the spinal column
10. Asthma


How does acupuncture work within the body?
According to modern medicine, the specific pressure points utilized by acupuncture within the body help in releasing chemicals that can block or at least reduce pain. It encourages the flow of chemicals from the brain, which act as nerve and pain blockers. It also helps stimulate the muscles and nerve endings, which can lessen inflammation and thus help in reducing pain.

Acupuncture - Why Should You Use it to Combat Pain?

Causes and symptoms of anorexia

Anorexia is a common eating disorder which is identified by abnormally low body weight, intense fear of gaining weight and a distorted perception of body weight. The problem is not only related to your dietary patterns but it also related to your mental state. People with this disorder are generally self-conscious, have a low self-esteem and are overly concerned about their external appearance.

Causes of anorexia

Biological factors - These factors represent that anorexia can be congenital or it may have developed over time. Congenital means that disorder is hereditary in nature and is passed on from the parents to the offspring. On the other hand, it may develop in people who are more sensitive and have an inclination towards perfection.
Psychological factors - Anorexia can also be caused due to certain specific personality traits and emotions that might be possessed by you. For instance, anorexia is more likely to happen to young women who are really worried and conscious out the way they look externally. Additionally, people who are either emotionally not too strong or suffer from anxiety issues can develop this disorder easily.
Environmental factors - The type of a cultural set up you are living in also plays an important role in developing this disorder. For instance, the western culture is all about slim and fit people, whereas the oriental countries are not so bothered about the same.

Symptoms of Anorexia

Emotional symptoms - This category of symptoms includes behaviors and a thought process aimed towards losing weight and minimizing your food intake. Some of the symptoms belonging to this type include:

Forceful vomiting to lose calories
Staying hungry
Excessive physical activity or exercise
Denial of hunger
Social withdrawal
Irritability
Depressed moods

Physical symptoms - These symptoms are self-explanatory and are clearly visible on the human body. These include:

Extreme weight loss
Thin appearance
Abnormal blood count
Fatigue
Insomnia
Dizziness or fainting
Discoloration of the fingers
Hair that thins, breaks or falls out
Soft, downy hair covering the body
Constipation
Low blood pressure



Causes and Symptoms of Anorexia

Brain health is essential for people of all ages. Of late MIND and DASH are two popular approaches that are leading the way dietary requirement for brain health. MIND stands for Mediterranean Intervention for Neurodegenerative Delay whereas DASH stands for Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension. Both the approaches argue that diet plays a crucial role in maintaining overall brain health. Here is a list of 8 diet changes that can boost the brain health without having to take any other brain supplements:

Leafy green vegetables: Leafy vegetables are tried and tested source of natural brain tonic. Vegetables such as spinach, kale, collard greens and arugula should be thoroughly washed and chopped. They can be consumed with salads, pasta, and soups.
Pulses: Pulses such as lentils, beans and peas can be consumed with salads to maintain brain health. Alternatively, they can be consumed along with burgers to give it a twist. They can also be used to make patties. A mixture of black beans, onions and peppers can be mashed along with some spices to form the main entr e of the patties.
Whole grains: A batch of brown rice, quinoa, oats or faro can be prepared and consumed to upgrade brain health. While grains comprises of fibre and makes for a very fulfilling meal. Whole grain can be prepared in batches so that it can be consumed throughout the week along with salad and soup.
Home-made snacks: A snack made from walnuts, pumpkin, almonds and pistachios can serve as a quick snack during long drives and small breaks in between meetings. A small portion of these snacks will not only boost brain health but give a sense of fulfilment.
Berries: Frozen berries are known to be extremely beneficial for brain health. They can be mixed with smoothies and consumed during breakfast and or in the form of snacks. Berries are a nice addition to oatmeal as well.
Olive oil: the butter or the refine oil can be traded with olive oil while preparing vegetables and meats. It can also be used as a base for homemade vinaigrettes. Olive oil serves the purpose of good health and has hardly any side effect on the body.
Poultry items: One can become a lot creative when it comes to consuming poultry items. Chicken breasts for instance, when cooked with garlic and onion in a pressure cooker, can be a real agent for brain maintaining brain health. One can add some flavour and consume it along with sandwiches and salads.
Fish: One fish should be consumed once in every week. Salmon fish is known to have a great effect on mental health.

8 Diet Changes That Can Boost Your Brain Health

Every packet of cigarette comes with the warning 'Smoking is injurious to health'. With every national budget plan, the prices of nicotine based additives are hiked. Yet, you cannot quit smoking because you find it extremely difficult to resist the nicotine urge. Ayurveda says that the root cause of addiction is mental stress due to one of the 3 Doshas that are Vata, Pitta, Kapha. People try to terminate them through temporary, addictive methods rather than a bit more natural, holistic methods. Here's how it can be easier for you to quit smoking by adopting Ayurvedic remedies.

Ayurvedic remedies:
1. Drink adequate amount of water, especially from a copper vessel. This helps to accumulate the wastes and release them.
2. Perform the Neti Kriya (inhaling saline water through one nostril and releasing it through the other and then reversing the procedure).
3. Performing the Bhastrika Pranayama twice every day, both in the morning and at night.
4. Consume 3 tablets or 1  teaspoon of triphala everyday before going to bed, to eliminate the deposited nicotine tar in your system.
5. Consumption of a measured mixture of ashwagandha, bala, shatavari and ginseng every day, or a chyawanprash containing these help in detoxification.

Changes in diet:
1. Avoid consumption of alcohol and other addictive drugs, such as coffee, sugar, etc. because they increase the urge to smoke.
2. Decrease intake of fatty foods because your metabolism rate is lower than at most other times, so you might risk gaining weight during this period.
3. Try a vegetarian diet because it increases the Sattvik quality of your mind. Every fresh food item contains prana or life which rejuvenates both your body and mind.
4. Chew anti-nicotine gums or suck on cinnamon sticks which curb your urge to smoke.
5. Keep eating low-calorie food items like carrots, apples or celery.
6. Incorporating regular exercise in your routine may help you to quit smoking more easily. It controls weight gain, which is a side-effect of quitting, and also offers you a fit and healthy lifestyle.
7. Meditating and doing yoga regularly helps in relaxing your mind. Yogic postures like Sabasan help attain internal peace and divert your mind from craving to smoke.

Besides these techniques, there are various other ways like taking help from a professional ayurvedic counselor, which will help you quit smoking, socializing with friends or spending quality time with your family, will keep your mind diverted from the stress of quitting.

Ayurveda and Smoking - Ayurvedic Medicines to Quit Smoking

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