
A new relationship involves a lot of weighing from both the sides. Learn what really matters to win people over in this post. When you want to build a new relationship, whether it is for work, business, personal, marriage, friendship etc there are several factors that help take off and bloom the relationship. These factors are broadly the same in different age groups as far as psychological impact matters. Some of the most important influential factors from a psychological point of view have been highlighted here. 

1. Presentation- When you want to draw someone into relationship with you for any reason, it is important that you present yourself at you best levels be it physical or mental. Like they say that the first impression is the best impression, your display of you strengths creates an impression that helps people decide what they want to do with you. This doesn't mean you should hide all your weaknesses but highlighting your strengths is as important as making your weaknesses clear. Always learn to put your best foot forward as sometimes that itself may not be enough. You can't really send your neighbour for your job interview!! There are many instances when people send different photographs in their applications and different ones appear for the exams. This is mere cheating and not winning.

2. Plan – Let people know what you want to do with them and what they can they can do with you. No one can say they don’t have a plan. There is always some plan. Knowing it strengthens why you want to have that relationship in the first place. Otherwise it's like something which is there but you can never want to do anything with! When you are honest with your plans and they workout as you described it, it creates confidence in relationship or else it is destroyed forever. You can cheat a person with your plans once, not forever.

3. Possibilities- Will this relationship bring me trouble? Obviously nobody wants to get into a relationship with anybody that brings them trouble be it physical or mental. Next question is whether it will benefit me? Small or big depends on person's needs. Some relationships neither bring us trouble nor benefits us, such relationships are better than the ones which can cause harm.

4. Potential – Question. Does this relationship you are trying to develop have any possibilities of growth a few or many years down the line. Obviously we have a lot of friends who wither by passing of time. Does this relationship have an expiry date irrespective of how well or bad it goes? Like when we join college we know for sure that the friends will be with us till the duration of the course and that's it. We will know that if we study together it will help us achieve great grades in college and hence a great life later. These kind of growth possibilities or possibilities of deterioration are important to be well aware of and will naturally decide the course of relationships.

5. Progress – No matter what our initial assessments are, how the relationships helps us fare in the outside world will ultimately decide the future of any relationship. Loss, sorrow, tragedy, degradation in any aspect of life, insults, injury, loss of health etc will never help any relationship continue or last.

6. Partnerships – When we want to build a relationship with someone, the best way to do it is to obviously partner with that person in as many activities as possible. The more interested a person is the more activities that person will involve you in and try to do it with you. This type of partnership activities, be it spending a few hours in the evening, or a few minutes on phone, or an association of months or years are a foolproof way to show you are interested. Conversely a person who doesn't partner with you in anything is extremely unlikely to ever have any sort of relationship with you. Partnership in activities is the only way to show and know that you are interested or the other person is interested respectively. After all chasing the moon, stars and rainbow are activities of people who don’t realize its out of their reach. Sensible people are busy with what their eyes see, hands feel, ears listen, tongue tastes and thinking perceives as appropriate.

7. Positioning attitudes- As a tree bends with the winds to prevent from cracking, we all have to be flexible with our attitudes towards each other. Being too rigid about our protocol on how relationships should run irrespective of the reality and circumstances of the person we are having a relationship with is naturally going to break relationships. After all a doctor who heals and prevents all illnesses is better than a doctor who abuses his patients for falling ill but never does anything for them. Eg: You get bed and good food in a hotel as well as at your home. A hotel will provide food only on payment of money, but family will provide it whenever your hungry. Hence hotels can never expect the same emotions as family can, and this is as natural as it should be. Hence be careful what you want from a relationship. Whether you want to be treated as a hotel or family is entirely how you play yourself with others. After all only families can expect loyalty not hotels.

8. Politeness- In any relationship, many years down the line, what our long term memory retains is how comfortable we were in that relationship. Even if we profit from a particular relationship, the fact that it shook us mentally and emotionally will never allow us to go back or retain that relationship. Life is short and the only thing that matters is to spend it comfortably. Not destroy our peace for some benefit that destroys our peace of mind.

9. Personation- While sending a representative of your organization for a client meeting may work in business, you cant really send a representative to meet you wife or kids at home. In personal relationship, lack of your physical presence obviously means that you don’t have time for them. In any relationship, individuality matters a lot. Just imagine, if all actors acted exactly the same in movies, why would you prefer any particular one over the other as your favourite? The nuances and differences in our personalities are what makes us all unique. We are not robots from a particular brand to behave exactly the same way. If a person in a relationship doesn't sense your individuality you are wasting their time by trying to have a relationship with them, especially a personal one.

10. Positive reinforcement- When we get into a relationship, it is important that we feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. If you feel like a shoplifter entering a shop, you will not feel good about that relationship. When a shopkeeper welcomes us, shows us his products, tells us their details and provides all the explanations on how we will be well off with the product, provides his guarantee for it, confirms its essence, many people buy it even if they don’t compulsively need it. It’s the same in relationships. On the same side if a shopkeeper is arrogant, avoidant, abusive, insulting etc you are very unlikely to buy anything in that shop because you are not sure that the shopkeeper means any good and will be happy with the shopkeeper s product. The experience of buying is as important as the product we buy. Nobody is happy about something they got when they weren't treated the right way or is interested in retaining it when they don’t get good service for it.

11. Persistence on all Ps – Obviously when we want relationships to last, we need to be persistent on all the above P's. Otherwise it wont take long for a relationship to be counted in “once upon a time”!! A simple conversation even if for a few minutes every now and then when you need it may make it seem that you are still there for a person. Without even that people may even find it hard to remember that they even had something to do with you sometime before keeping in mind the the numerous activities we involve daily to maintain our lifestyles.

“KNOWING IS DOING AND NOT KNOWING IS UNDOING EVEN IF DOING!”

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How To Win Over New Relationships

Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

There are days when you wake up but you don’t want to move out of the bed. When your alarm goes off and you open your eyes feeling groggy and disoriented.Times when you accept defeat and stop moving towards what you want to achieve in life. These are just indicators of being low on motivation and lacking will power to chnage things. It’s more psychological than physical. Follow these simple tips, to come out of your cocoon and boost your willpower. 

Try these four ways to up your willpower.

1) Meditate - Meditation is the key to unleashing your powers, especially willpower. Practicing mindfulness, even for few minutes a day can help in boosting your willpower.

2) Exercise - The magic pill of exercise is another best way to boost your willpower. It is recommended that you exercise for 30 minutes, at least three times a week to ensure that you feel fitter, reduce your anxiety levels and boost your overall willpower to achieve bigger and better things in life.

3) Hold yourself accountable - That’s one of the best ways to boost your willpower. If you hold yourself accountable in your own life, if you know that those reasons of not getting out of the bed are mere excuses, then you would certainly increase your willpower.

4) Set Goals - One of the reasons why people experience a faltering in their will power is the fact that they don’t set their goals. Setting definitive targets is a must.You must ensure that the goal is set with measurable quantities, is specific, attainable, relevant and timely. All of this will certainly help you in enhancing your willpower.

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Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

Parkinson s disease is a disorder involving the nervous system. It can start with a mere tremor of one hand and advances to slow movement and stiffness. The face might show little no symptoms in the beginning but the speech might become slurred. With every passing day, the condition worsens. This condition has no permanent cure but the symptoms can be improved with proper medication.

What are the symptoms?
Some unmistakable symptoms include the following:

A sudden shaking of the limb. A sudden tremor of the hand is a very common symptom of this disease.
Stiffness of the muscles that can limit the range of motion and sharp pain.
The posture of the body might get compromised. Often balancing problems are witnessed among many patients.
There could be problems with speech leading to soft, slurry or quick speech. The speech in some cases can become monotonous devoid of inflexions.
Parkinson s disease can lead to slow movement and makes performing of simple tasks difficult.
Patients often find writing very difficult
What are the possible causes of Parkinson s disease?

Specific genetic mutation can lead to Parkinson s disease in folks who have a family history of Parkinson s disease. Certain variations of the gene increase the risk of this disease
Exposure to certain environmental factors or certain toxins can trigger Parkinson s disease in an individual.
Certain cells in the brain known as Lewy bodies can trigger Parkinson s disease.
A certain kind of protein cells within the brain known as alpha-synuclein can trigger the Parkinson s disease in an individual
What are the risk factors?

Heredity: Having an immediate family member or close relative suffering from Parkinson s disease can increase the risk of getting this disease in an individual
Age: Although not a prime risk factor, but an individual over the age of over 60 have an increased risk of getting this disease
Toxins: Exposure to pesticide or certain herbicide increase the risk of Parkinson s
Sex: Men are more likely to get Parkinson s disease than women
What is the medication for Parkinson s disease?

Carbidopa-levodopa: This is a natural chemical that gets passed to the brain and is converted to dopamine by the body. The benefits of this medication might reduce with increased symptoms.
Carbidopa-levodopa infusion: A popular drug in this category is known as the Duopa. It is administered directly into the small intestine in the form of gel through a feeding tube.
MAO-B inhibitors: Drugs from this group include rasagiline and selegiline. This is powerful medicine. Many patient experiences hallucination during the initial days of consuming these drugs.
Anticholinergics: This medication is mainly used to counter tremors of the limbs in the early stage of Parkinson s disease.

Parkinson's Disease - Know The Risks Involved!

MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND ARGUMENTS? CHANGE THEM INTO FLOWING CONVERSATION
Conflicts and misunderstandings occur at all levels of interaction – at work, among friends, within families and between relationship partners. When conflict occurs, the relationship may be weakened or strengthened. Thus, conflict is a critical event in the course of a relationship. Arguments  and misunderstandings  can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship. If it is handled well, however, it can be productive – leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness. The health of any relationship is gauged by how the conflicts are resolved, rather than the number of conflicts between the participants. 
Conflicts run all the way from minor, unimportant differences to disputes which can threaten the existence of a relationship. Conflicts with a loved one or a long-term friend are, of course, different from negotiating with someone who does not care about your needs, like a stranger or a salesperson. 

 Principles that underscores all successful conflict resolution. 
1. Both parties must view their conflict as a problem to be solved together so that both parties have the feeling of winning.
2. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible to both. 

We may get so caught up with our own immediate interests that we damage our relationships. If we disregard the position of the other person, if fear and power are used to win, or if we always have to get our own way, the other person will feel hurt and the relationship may be wounded. Similarly, if we always surrender just to avoid conflict, we give the message to the other person that it is acceptable to be bullied and our needs don’t matter. Our feeling of self-worth suffers, resentment surfaces, and we feel frustrated in the relationship. Instead, it is healthier if both parties can remain open, honest, assertive and respectful of the other position. Mutual trust and respect, as well as a positive, constructive attitude, are fundamental necessities in relationships that matter.

SOME EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES TO HOLD EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS:
1. INITIAL AGREEMENT: The other person may be very angry with you and may be having loads of evidence to prove himself right. At that time, instead of arguing your position, simply agree at that time because there will be a grain of truth if nothing else. This doesn’t mean that you are giving up your values and principles. Sometimes its important to diffuse the emotional charge before working out on the differences. Sometimes its ok to “lose” individually in order to “win” together in the end.
2. EMPATHY: Sometimes putting yourself  in the other persons shoes and seeing the problem from their perspective helps build bridges. You could say,” I feel that you must be very upset with me for behaving like that with you, I should have been more considerate”. Half the battle is won and the other participant feels validated and will be more willing to listen to your tale of woes more amicably.
3. ASK QUESTIONS: When you ask questions, it shows that you care and are interested to resolve the problem at hand. Please note that while asking questions, be watchful of your words and tone. Asking exploratory  questions about the other persons thoughts and feelings rather than probing and insulting questions can take you miles on the way to effective resolution. For eg. “Is there anything that you would like me to know about this problem”?
4. USING “I” STATEMENTS: Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings rather than blaming the other person for making you feel like that. This decreases the chance that the other person will become defensive. For example, “I feel pretty upset that this thing has come between us.” This statement is much more effective than saying, “You have made me feel very upset.” 
5. COMPLIMENTS: Find something nice and genuine to say about the other person, even if the other is angry with you. Show a respectful attitude. For example, “I genuinely respect you for having the courage to bring this problem to me. I admire your strength and your caring attitude.” 

A RATIONAL APPROACH TO RESOLVING CONFLICTS:
Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. 
1. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have caused the disagreement. It is important to listen actively to what the other is saying, use “I” statements and avoid blame. 
2. Come Up With Several Possible Solutions. This is the brainstorming phase. Drawing on the points that you both agree on and your shared goals, generate a list of as many ideas as you can for solving the problem, regardless of how feasible they might be. Aim toward quantity of ideas rather than quality during this phase, and let creativity be your guide.
3. Evaluate These Alternative Solutions. Now go through the list of alternative solutions to the problem, one by one. Consider the pros and cons of the remaining solutions until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways of handling the problem. It is important for each person to be honest in this phase. The solutions might not be ideal for either person and may involve compromise. 
4. Decide on the Best Solution. Select the solution that seems mutually acceptable, even if it is not perfect for either party. As long as it seems fair and there is a mutual commitment to work with the decision, the conflict has a chance for resolution. 
5. Implement the Solution. It is important to agree on the details of what each party must do, who is responsible for implementing various parts of the agreement, and what to do in case the agreement starts to break down. 
6. Continue to Evaluate the Solution. Conflict resolutions should be seen as works in progress. Make it a point to ask the other person from time to time how things are going. Something unexpected might have come up or some aspect of the problem may have been overlooked. Your decisions should be seen as open to revision, as long as the revisions are agreed upon mutually. 

Keep in mind that differences will come up in any relationship just because you two are different individuals with different perspectives, ideologies, attitudes and perceptions. Too much similarity in personality and working styles may be comforting but can be very boring and uninspiring overtime. On the other hand, differences can bring change, novelty and an added spice to the relationship. Two very different people can pool their different strengths and work together as a stronger team. Though, extreme differences may overtime sour the relationship and make living or working together difficult. You also need to look out for an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, which is based on power differential rather than respect and trust. A person may then choose to opt out after an amicable “goodbye” or "agree to disagree".























Every packet of cigarette comes with the warning 'Smoking is injurious to health'. With every national budget plan, the prices of nicotine based additives are hiked. Yet, you cannot quit smoking because you find it extremely difficult to resist the nicotine urge. Ayurveda says that the root cause of addiction is mental stress due to one of the 3 Doshas that are Vata, Pitta, Kapha. People try to terminate them through temporary, addictive methods rather than a bit more natural, holistic methods. Here's how it can be easier for you to quit smoking by adopting Ayurvedic remedies.

Ayurvedic remedies:
1. Drink adequate amount of water, especially from a copper vessel. This helps to accumulate the wastes and release them.
2. Perform the Neti Kriya (inhaling saline water through one nostril and releasing it through the other and then reversing the procedure).
3. Performing the Bhastrika Pranayama twice every day, both in the morning and at night.
4. Consume 3 tablets or 1  teaspoon of triphala everyday before going to bed, to eliminate the deposited nicotine tar in your system.
5. Consumption of a measured mixture of ashwagandha, bala, shatavari and ginseng every day, or a chyawanprash containing these help in detoxification.

Changes in diet:
1. Avoid consumption of alcohol and other addictive drugs, such as coffee, sugar, etc. because they increase the urge to smoke.
2. Decrease intake of fatty foods because your metabolism rate is lower than at most other times, so you might risk gaining weight during this period.
3. Try a vegetarian diet because it increases the Sattvik quality of your mind. Every fresh food item contains prana or life which rejuvenates both your body and mind.
4. Chew anti-nicotine gums or suck on cinnamon sticks which curb your urge to smoke.
5. Keep eating low-calorie food items like carrots, apples or celery.
6. Incorporating regular exercise in your routine may help you to quit smoking more easily. It controls weight gain, which is a side-effect of quitting, and also offers you a fit and healthy lifestyle.
7. Meditating and doing yoga regularly helps in relaxing your mind. Yogic postures like Sabasan help attain internal peace and divert your mind from craving to smoke.

Besides these techniques, there are various other ways like taking help from a professional ayurvedic counselor, which will help you quit smoking, socializing with friends or spending quality time with your family, will keep your mind diverted from the stress of quitting.

Ayurveda and Smoking - Ayurvedic Medicines to Quit Smoking

A lot of smokers now are well aware of the dangers of smoking, but yet they find it hard to quit this habit. In fact, even repeated attempts to quit smoking fail after a few days as they tend to give in to a variety of withdrawal symptoms. In case you are searching for a permanent solution to de-focus and avoid tobacco intake, yoga is the way to venture out of the smoke and free yourself of the addiction.

Compelling well-being programs that plan to improve people and bring back their focus on things that help them lead a solid and happy life can be sought. In this manner, their friends and families get a chance to inhale fresh air as well. Yoga is one such measure which can be used.

Here are a couple of yoga poses that are helpful in getting rid of tobacco addiction:

Kapal bhati pranayama (skull shining breathing procedure): This asana tends to enhance the blood flow, improve the sensory system, restore brain cells and quiet the mind. This pranayama likewise clears the nadis (the energy channels) and fights the temptation of smoking.
Nadi shodhan pranayama (alternate nostril breathing procedure): Discharge accumulated stress, quiet your brain, sanitise and adjust your naadis (unobtrusive energy channels) with this pranayama. The nadi shodhan pranayama works effectively for some respiratory problems and helps you cope with your addiction of tobacco.
Bhujanagasana (cobra posture): The cobra posture improves blood circulation and expands your abdomen. It lessens exhaustion and is additionally useful for people with respiratory illnesses. This yoga acts as a stress reliever and minimises the desire of smoking.
Setu bandhasana (bridge posture): The bridge posture opens up the lungs and enhances the supply of oxygen to the body. It additionally extends different parts of the body, quiets the mind, diminishes tension, depression and stress, which keeps you far from smoking.
Shishuasana (child posture): The child posture unwinds the body, quiets down the nervous system and eases the body from stress.
Trikonasana (triangle posture): The triangle posture extends and strengthens different parts of the body. This yoga pose is an extremely powerful physical and mental balance for the body. It also diminishes nervousness and stress, and helps you fight the desire of tobacco.
Sarvangasana (bear stand): The shoulder stand supplies the mind with more blood and also calms it down. It additionally mitigates stress and misery, thereby killing the desire of smoking.
Shavasana (corpse posture): The corpse stance should be performed last as it releases the body into a profound, reflective condition of rest and alleviates tension. This yoga posture restores the body and diminishes stress and tension.
Yoga is a very beneficial form of releasing stress and tension as well as your addictions. It takes a long time to show results but the results are long-lasting and highly effective.

Tobacco - Can Yoga Help You Quit it?

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