Don t like social gatherings? Have you always been the one who avoids family get together? If your answer is affirmative, then you are probably suffering from Avoidant personality disorder.  Avoidant personality disorder is a psychological condition wherein, one feels extremely shy. Becoming overly sensitive to rejection and developing feelings of inadequacy are common signs of this disorder. This disorder can lead to problems in your work life and relationships. 

Symptoms
With APD, the commonly surfacing symptoms would include disapproval and disregard of situations and people, rejection and embarrassment. It generally gets very difficult for the one to get acquainted with new people and form intimate relationships. One generally ends up misinterpreting people s comments and criticism thus, feeling angry and frustrated all the more. 

Causes
The exact cause of APD has not been established yet. It is believed that environmental and genetic factors play a role in this disorder. People who are inherently shy and reserved are usually prone to developing this psychological anomaly. 

How do you treat APD?
In order to treat APD, you can opt for the following modes of treatment:

Psychotherapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy is a treatment option for APD wherein, the doctor counsels on how to change one s thinking patterns and thought process, thus, influencing his/her actions.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy: Psychodynamic therapy involves you becoming aware of the unconscious thoughts. It helps you figure out how your past experiences frame your behavior. Your past emotional pains can be resolved with this technique so that you can move ahead with your life. 
Medications: Anti-depressant medications used to treat depression and anxiety can be used to treat APD.

Prefer Social Isolation - Can it be a Sign of Avoidant Personality Disorder?

Do you know why some people accomplish more and generally are much happier in their lives?
 
The field of Positive Psychology explains this. Research says, one of the signature strengths that such people have is "Gratitude. Gratitude makes them take better care of themselves physically and mentally. It also makes people engage in more proactive and healthy way. It promotes the motivation for exercise, healthy diet and willingness to wriggle out of any negative situations in life. It helps boost your immune system.  Since it makes you more optimistic and alert, you cope better with stress and feel healthier.

How to Have An Attitude of Gratitude?

1) Be Mindful of What You Have - Being thankful for very small things actually bring a great amount of joy. Have gratitude for small things like sunlight, rain, flowers, a cup of tea, a caring spouse, a child's laughter. It gives us the resilience to cope with tougher situations.

2) Keep a Gratitude Journal - Every night before going to bed, write down "What was the best thing that happened to you that day.  It fosters better sleep and a sense of well being and satisfaction.

3) Reframe Challenging Situations - It's not the situation but our perception of the situation that makes it challenging. You can reframe your reactions and respond by saying that "I may have a very demanding boss, but I have become more organized, patient. It will help you to attend to your work and be cheerful.

4) Practice saying Thank You - It's very simple. When you buy a bus ticket, just smile and say 'Thank You. Feel the first raindrops on your face and smile in gratitude for all the life it brings.

5) Focus your attention outwards - According to Emmons, a US psychology professor, people who are more aware of the positives in their lives tend to focus their attention outside of themselves. They feel complete, satisfied and fulfilled in their lives and are capable of helping the less fortunate ones.

If you have any questions, please click on "Consult Privately.

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5 Reasons Why Some People Accomplish More And Are Much Happier

You might be feeling that spending time on any social media network is a simple way to pass time and is a common habit. But a recent study by University of Chicago Booth School of Business says that social networking sites can be more addictive, than alcohol. The desire to consume alcohol can be controlled and turned down, but the desire to check Facebook is simply uncontrollable for most people, and it s a serious addiction.

About the study
The ground breaking study was done on 250 people in and around Germany aged between 18 and 85 years of age. They were sent messages at specific intervals to report their desires and cravings. It is found that most people had the desire to sleep and have sex during the day that they were able to control. But the desire for checking Facebook was much higher.

Reasons for Facebook addiction

One of the major reasons is that availability of Facebook is much easier and higher than alcohol availability.
Also, it is thought that the cost of checking Facebook is much less than consuming some amount of alcohol on a regular basis.
Even if a man wants to resist his desire, but due to easy availability and lesser cost, he is prone to use it again and again.
Alcohol consumption is prohibited in public and during office hours in many countries. But checking Facebook updates have no restrictions. People can check it whenever they feel the desire.
The most shocking part is the urges drove the people to such an extent, that they couldn t even resist themselves even if they wanted to do so.
Effects of Facebook addiction

Drainage of time: No matter how good we feel while checking Facebook updates, can you deny that it s simply a waste of time?
Self esteem reduced: When you see your peers enjoying their life with flying colors, no wonder you will feel depressed. But we are reluctant to believe this fact, that nobody shows his tragic part of life on Facebook. So, whom you think is the happiest person in the world, may be the saddest and is drowned in his own miseries.
Remedy of this so called addiction
The study says that when we are much worn out, we are unable to control our desire and our will power is depleted.

So, if you find yourself posting your status on Facebook at the midnight instead of sleeping, then it is high time you should try to come out of this addiction and give yourself a better life and health.

Facebook Vs Alcohol - Which Is More Addictive?

Smith and Mackie (2007) term self-esteem as a set of positive or negative opinions about oneself. Self-esteem is an important predictor of success in career, relationships, marriage and public life. People who are depressed have a very low self-esteem about themselves. They think of themselves as good for nothings and persons having a nil value. There are three states of self-esteem. They are;

Shattered: An example of a person having shattered self-esteem is when he says,  I am old and useless to do this kind of work . This person sees himself as an absolutely useless person.
Vulnerable: In this state, a slight embarrassment or defeat may expose the vulnerable side of the person. Otherwise, such persons have a positive frame of mind.
Strong: People in this state are very strong emotionally. Defeats, embarrassments etc. do not affect them. These people have a very high sense of self-esteem.
Psychologists, however, have prescribed several ways through which one can improve one s self-esteem.

How to improve one s self-esteem

Control your thoughts- Watch out what your inner critic is saying to you. Every time you hear its voice, ask yourself- would this be the way your best friend would speak to you? If your inner critic is being merciless on you all the time, you need to silence it.
Focus on the good things that happen to you- Everyday, write at least 3 good things that happened to you. Avoid the obstructive or harmful things that came your way. Focus on the happier side of the day. Do not dwell upon the negatives.
No need to be perfect- In the quest to be perfect, many people lose control of themselves. It probably must do with the pressures of modern life where achievement is the be all and end all. But, not everyone can be perfect. Rather, focus on the effort or process. This way, you will be better able to appreciate yourself as a person.
Accept mistakes- Often we fail to realise that mistakes come to us masked as opportunities. But, we are too fixated by the mistakes we commit. We are obsessed with the thought,  Why did I commit this mistake?  rather than,  How to avoid this particular mistake? . If we learn how to avoid committing mistakes, we will tremendously improve our self-esteem.
Experiment with new skills- Try out new skills and then improve upon them. For example, you may pick up music and track your achievement levels. If you continually improve yourself in this new skill, you will obviously set new benchmarks. Give credit to yourself after achievement of every new milestone.
Accept your limits- You are no superman. You have your own limits. Once you accept your limitations, you will stop blaming yourself for all the wrongs that are happening to you. 

Self Esteem - How Can You Improve It?

Do you have someone who is passive-aggressive in your life? Perhaps your parents, your siblings, your partner or your friends? It can be difficult to handle such a person. When two people, who are having a healthy relationship with each other are angry with each other, they show anger, they say that they are upset, they discuss things and sort things out. There are so many different ways to express anger. But when it comes to a person with passive-aggressive behaviour, it is not going to be the same when they are angry. This is basically a way to express anger indirectly, as they are unable to or uncomfortable to express their feelings and anger openly.

They need help, and it is you who will be able to help them get out of this pain or anger. Here are six steps to changing someone's passive-aggressive behaviour:

When there is an argument going on between both of you or when one of you is angry, do not say something or do something negative. This will make them shut down completely and they will never open up. It may also happen that the situation gets worse. So, take some time and calm down.
Do not go for any guesswork. You are trying to help someone to get over his/her passive-aggressive behaviour. You need to know what they actually feel. So, ask them how they feel and if they have anything to say about it. This can help them open up.
Brainstorming can be one of the best steps. Yes, if you think that you often argue on some common point, then you need to come up with a solution for it first. Ask for their opinion, make a list of all the points and try to make it as detailed as possible.
Check out the pros and cons of your opinions. When you are done with brainstorming, you need to consider each opinion or decision you made in order to make sure that both of you are comfortable with it.
Choose a win-win situation. In other words, pick up those solutions which make both of you happy.
Execute your opinion or plan and evaluate if it is working for you. If plan A does not work for you, then you can still consider the other options that you left behind to draft a plan B.
Communication is very important and when you are able to communicate well, you will be able to get what you actually need. You should start to think that your feelings are valid and learn to enjoy how good it feels when others value your feelings. Open up and talk!

Passive Aggressive Nature - 6 Things You Can Do To Help!

Panic disorder is a condition that strikes without reason or caution and can be serious. Indications of panic disorder usually include sudden attacks of panic and anxiety, in addition to physical side effects, such as sweating and a pounding heart. During a fit of panic, the reaction is based on the circumstances, which may not be threatening in general, but triggers a feeling of panic. After some time, a person with a panic disorder builds up a consistent fear of having another fit of anxiety, which can influence the every day functioning and lifestyle in general. Panic disorder usually occurs alongside other conditions like depression, liquor abuse, or drug abuse.

You might experience the ill effects of a panic disorder if you:

Encounter frequent, unforeseen fits of anxiety that are not attached to a particular circumstance or event
Stress over having another fit of anxiety
Are trying to avoid the places of your precious panic attacks
The most common symptoms of a panic disorder are as follows:

Trouble relaxing and feeling uneasy most of the time
Beating heart or abdominal pain with a feeling of nervousness
Serious irrational and emotional fear
Feeling as if you are out of breath
Feeling as if you are being choked or smothered
Dizzy spells
Trembling or shaking
Sweating constantly
Feeling nauseous or having a stomach ache
Shivering or numbness in the fingers and toes
Sudden chills or hot flashes
A fear that you are losing control or are about to die
While a single panic attack may just last a couple of minutes, the impact of the experience can leave a long lasting impression and make you susceptible to more such attacks. In case you have this issue, the repetitive fits of panic take an emotional toll. The memory of the fear that you felt during these attacks can affect your self-confidence and cause interruption to your regular day-to-day existence. In the end, this prompts to the following panic disorder effects:

Expectant uneasiness: Instead of feeling like yourself in the middle of panic attacks, you feel tensed and on edge. This uneasiness originates from a dread of having future attacks of anxiety. This fear is seen more often than not, and can be extremely disabling at times.
Phobic avoidance: You start to stay away from specific circumstances or situations. This might happen since you are maintaining a strategic distance because of your previous panic attack. On the other hand, you may stay away from areas where escape would be troublesome or help would be inaccessible in case you had a fit of panic.
Medicines: Medicines can be used to control or decrease a majority of the side effects of panic disorder. Even if medicines do not form a part of the main treatment, when combined with other treatments, medicines are very effective. Eg. therapy and lifestyle changes.

Panic Disorder - 12 Signs You Are Suffering From it!

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